Picture Perfect Plan
by Allijuana
Summary: Two years have passed since Martin and Ruthie have seen each other, but it’s more intervention than fate that puts them together as Reverend and Mrs. Camden send her away for the summer to a camp where Martin is a counselor.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Picture Perfect Plan

Author: Juana

Rating : M

Story Summary: Two years have passed since Martin and Ruthie has seen each other, but it's more intervention than fate that puts them together as Reverend and Mrs. Camden send her away for the summer to a camp where Martin is a counselor in the hopes he can steer her away from her current bad boy boyfriend.

As the bus pulled up to the front of the building Martin stood back with the others and waited. Ever since talking to Rev. Camden, he had known she was coming here and had prepared himself.

He hadn't seen her for two years, her choice, not his and understandably so, he had broken her heart and the fights and angry words had come all too easily after that, essentially destroying their hard won friendship.

In the beginning of their deteriorating relationship he had blamed her, accusing her of being immature and selfish and completely unforgiving. He didn't want to be with Sandy or to be a dad…these were not his choices but the life that had been thrust upon him.

But then one day completely out of the blue... she had forgiven him and things had still never been the same, because she no longer trusted him and it killed him to realize that.

But that was the past and as he sat waiting fairly impatiently for the campers to disembark from the bus he realized that even though he had lost Ruthie as a potential mate this might be his second chance to gain his friend back.

As Ruthie collected her things to leave the bus she couldn't control her thoughts. She had battled with her parents over going to this stupid summer camp, she didn't want to be here, she wanted to be home with her current boyfriend Ian, which ironically enough was exactly why she was here, because she had been dumb enough to choose the honesty route with her parents and it had not only scared them, but she was pretty sure it had left a permanent scar where the issue of trust came in.

Without really realizing it Ruthie's dad and mom had been striving to keep her on the straight and narrow to an almost smothering degree.

Enter Ian. Ian was the antithesis of everything the Camdens wanted their youngest daughter to find in a potential spouse.

But what did they want for her exactly? She had no idea because no one she brought home to them ever seem to be good enough.

Martin watched Ruthie as she began her descent down the bus steps his recent conversation with the Camden's replaying in his mind. They were sending Ruthie there for him to talk some sense into.

Martin had protested saying he and Ruthie were hardly what you could call friends anymore and truth be known she was probably not going to be very happy to see him, much less listen to any advice he might have to offer.

Reverend Camden had simply laughed that off saying he was certain that Martin was the man for the job the job being to convince Ruthie that her current boyfriend was not exactly a good guy, which was not exactly new news to Martin who had been secretly keeping tabs on Ruthie and her love life since leaving her in Glen Oak.

His main source of information was his best buddy Mac and according to him this Ian guy was bad news.

Coming down the steps of the bus Ruthie couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched, but it didn't creep her out, oddly enough it kind of "comforted" her.

Turning around to find the source Ruthie almost ran into a bubbly blond girl who was standing with a group of girls starting in on her spiel of how "excited" she was to see them here, her name was Megan and she would be their counsler for the duration of their three-week stay here in the mountains. Ruthie wanted to bolt...three weeks was an eternity away from "normal life"...her parents had sent her on a"spiritual vacation " and it annoyed her.

It wasn't that she didn't believe in God...she did, she just hadn't embedded him in her life the way Lucy and her parents had...or even Martin for that matter. In fact she knew through the grapevine that Martin worked summers at a mountain retreat just like this one.

Suddenly it clicked...it was him...he was here, he was the comforting feeling she had felt as she got off the bus. Martin was here, and this was the camp he had been counseling at during his summers since leaving Glen Oak. She was going to kill her parents for doing this to her.

She saw it clear as day, like she had been standing right there, the scenario and how it must have gone, a frantic phone call to Martin when they had found her and Ian making out in her bedroom.

They had asked her point blank after that how "invested" she was in him, she could have lied to them and in hindsight probably should have, but she was almost eighteen and she wasn't a little girl anymore, she thought they could handle it, she thought wrong.

So now here she was probably in the hopes that Martin could save her wayward soul.

Way to go mom and dad send the virginal daughter to the one boy who "didn't" wait for marriage...bold move.

Martin stood rooted to the spot as he watched his ex-best friend and he realized how much he must have missed. In his mind and memories Ruthie had always been a cutie...full of spunk and life, but now...he silently prayed...dear lord help me...Ruthie was for lack of better words...grown up and so beautiful.

Ruthie stood as if she was listening but her mind was obviously elsewhere, she had spent countless sleepless nights imagining what seeing and talking to Martin again would be like, but now that it was here she wasn't ready for it.

Martin knew the first move would have to be his but the reality sinking in was that he wasn't ready for this either.

Talking to the Camdens he had become excited at the prospect of seeing Ruthie again, imagining all the hurt and pain gone and forgotten, but standing here just a few feet away from her... the reality was that he was scared.

As Ruthie's cell began to ring bubbly Megan turned to her clearly annoyed at her interrupted speech , but ever the professional segued with the interruption...

"and so we move on to the "no cell phone" part of the speech."

Things were just going from bad to worse as far as Ruthie was concerned, three-weeks without Ian was bad enough, but three-weeks of zero contact by phone also? This was too much.

" I need to keep my cell...medical reasons" Ruthie lied.

"Oh...okay...I'll just have to clear that with the camp director " Megan said clearly caught off guard.

Martin chose this moment to finally break the ice.

"I'll vouch for her...we're old friends" Martin interrupted.

Ruthie turned to look finally...preparing herself to see her old friend, but nothing could have prepared her for the grown man before her, she was speechless but appreciative none the less that the years had only made him even better looking.

As Martin stood directly in front of Ruthie for the first time in two years he sighed inwardly as he remembered all too clearly what had brought him to this place and away from her.

One night while having yet another argument with Sandy she had finally snapped and told him the truth Aaron was not his son, something Ruthie had been telling him all along but he had refused to believe. When Sandy had confessed that Simon was the father and she had used Martin because she was scared to end up alone he had stormed out feeling confused and betrayed.

His first phone call had been to Ruthie in Scotland pleading with her to come home telling her that he needed his friend.

It had taken her days to get home and he had spent all of them thinking the same thing, his life was now free to take other directions, he could go to college close to Glen Oak , he could play ball but most importantly he could tell Ruthie the truth…he wanted her in his life as more than a friend.

But as it turned out his heartfelt speech had gone unsaid as he had started talking to her about Sandy and Aaron and she had suddenly lapsed into a glowing speech about her new Scottish boyfriend and had kept it up all the way home from the airport.

It was all just too much for Martin. He had started an argument and she had stomped into the house without even waiting for her suitcase, it was then he realized she would never be his.

Leaving town at that point had seemed like the only solution, he had no family there anymore and no friends he hadn't alienated and most of all he realized that Aaron needed the chance to know his real father and Simon was a great guy and he was only in the way.

He only explained his situation to Reverend Camden not wanting any big fanfare or farewells and he had left without so much as goodbye to anyone. He had needed to find himself and he had finally, here at Camp Foothill.

At first he had prayed daily for his old carefree life back until he finally realized he was praying for the wrong things and that the lessons he had been given were for a reason...it was at that point he realized that to get back to being the old Martin he needed to get back to the things that made him that Martin.

Finally Ruthie found her voice but before she could use it Martin spoke first as he leaned a little too close and whispered in her ear.

"I know that's not exactly a true statement, the "friends" thing...but we've got three-weeks" he finished before turning and walking away.

As Ruthie watched Martin walked away she couldn't help but think...maybe her parents weren't so dumb after all.

Later that night Ruthie walked into the meeting hall with a couple of girls from her cabin, Christine and Felice, and they quickly found seats.

Not really knowing what to expect Ruthie had been pleasantly surprised to find the girls in her cabin were all pretty cool and even more so to find them all wanting to be her friend because the hunky counselor and her had a connection the hunky counselor being Martin of course.

Christine and Felice had been barraging her with questions about him when the meeting bell had rung and they had had to leave the cabin to make it to the meeting hall on time.

As the meeting director came to the front of the room the room began to quiet and Christine leaned into Ruthie to whisper. "Do you think you'll talk to him tonight?"

Ruthie sighed a little at the prospect. " I don't know...I'm sure he's pretty busy with his camp boys." Ruthie offered.

Much to Ruthie's surprise the meeting was fun and she had been given the opportunity to meet LOTS of new boys from the boy's side of camp and by campfire time she had three very interested suitors for the seat next to her on the log.

Martin watched as the boys flocked around Ruthie like a moth to a flame trying not to let his stomach feel like someone was gut kicking him every time she laughed at something funny they must have said.

He wanted to talk to her...but how? He couldn't actually walk up to her and take her off for a walk in the woods...although to his dismay he knew one of the three boys sitting drooling over her right now probably would try to. He made a mental note to keep an eye on all of them.

Ruthie was having a great time, all the boy attention was certainly great, but her eyes kept wandering to him...to Martin. She wanted to talk to him and she was determined to make it happen.

Suddenly her phone rang and she hurried quickly to shut it off, but not quick enough as one of the male counselors ordered her to hand it over.

Ruthie hesitated looking quickly to Martin and quick as a flash he was there.

"I'll take it Brett...she has it on her for medical reasons. As Brett handed Martin the phone Martin glanced unwillingly at the caller idea and saw a picture of a dark haired boy as the words "Ian's calling" kept scrolling across the screen.

"She should probably return this call" Martin finished as he handed the phone to Ruthie.

Ruthie took the phone with a smile.

"You know the rules Brewer...no campers allowed away from the group without a counselor escort...I'll get Megan." Brett offered.

"It's cool Brett, I'll walk out with her and get her back as soon as she's done" Martin stated.

Brett looked from Ruthie to Martin as both gave their well practiced innocent faces to him.

"Okay...but ten minutes tops...Leroy doesn't like counselors and campers fraternizing."

"It's just a walk Brett, lighten up" laughed Martin.

Ruthie's heart skipped a beat as she got up to follow Martin out of the campfire area to a more secluded location.

Finally Martin stopped walking and turned to face Ruthie.

"It may be hard to get a signal but go ahead and give it a try" he offered.

"Oh." Ruthie was a little taken aback at Martin's willingness to let her make a call.

"You did want to call him right?" Martin asked.

" I did...I do...yes. I just thought..." Ruthie trailed off without finishing her sentence.

"Thought what? " Martin asked.

Ruthie held her breath a little at the realization that once again she was being an idiot over Martin Brewer. She had thought he wanted to talk to her and had seized the opportunity when her cell had rung to get her away from all prying eyes.

Boy how many times could a girl be wrong about a guy?

Quickly Ruthie opened her phone and hit a quick dial number..." Nevermind " she said a little under her breath. " Now can I have a little privacy please?" Ruthie snapped.

"Sure" Martin offered. "I'll just hang out by that tree over there."

Martin walked off a little hurt by Ruthie's attitude towards him.

As Ruthie finished her phone call she snapped the phone shut and walked over to Martin.

"I'm done. You can escort me back now" Ruthie said like a prisoner in tow.

Martin turned to Ruthie an unreadable look on his face. "Can we not do this please?" he said, a softer tone in his voice.

"Do what?" Ruthie asked.

"Hate each other" Martin finished a look of sadness crossing his face.

Ruthie softened a little at his words. Years of hurts and troubles between them bubbling up to the surface from where they had been festering at a low boil.

" I don't hate you" Ruthie spoke softly the words almost catching in her throat.

Martin felt the pressure of the tears welling behind his eyes. For two long years he had waited to hear her say that.

Ruthie saw the intensity in Martin's eyes and it almost made her start to cry.

"I'm not going to cry over you Martin Brewer, I've done a lifetime of that. " Ruthie finished glancing quickly at Martin to see his reaction.

"Fair enough" Martin laughed lightly to try and ease a little of the tension.

Ruthie glanced up at Martin and like she had done so many times in the past walked quickly into his arms. As he wrapped her in a tight embrace it felt like bringing her home to him and he knew he should step back but he couldn't, he didn't want to.

Ruthie reveled in the feeling of Martin's arms around her once again. It had always felt so right to be here it made her feel like the world around them didn't exist.

It was just him and her and the feelings they would always have towards one another.

The hug lasted just a few minutes.

Martin didn't know why he pulled back at that moment, to talk to her, to see her face...he wasn't sure, but as he gazed upon her face and her lips parted he knew he wasn't going to stop himself. He had kissed her before, but never like this...never being "all in" like this.

As the kiss ended they both stood staring at each other, unsure what to say.

As far as kisses go...it was a twenty on a scale of 1-10 as far as Ruthie was concerned.

She knew he felt the same, he had to of, and the chemistry between them was undeniable.

So why then did he look so guilty...so confused?

Martin was mentally kicking himself, he was suppose to be saving her not drowning himself in her.

Whatever the Reverend had hoped for he wasn't going to be able to deliver.

He got it now...he had been set up too. Reverend and Mrs. Camden had sent Ruthie here in the hopes that she would "fall in love with him" again thus insuring she would "fall out of love " with Ian.

And he knew they weren't exactly using him just pinning their hopes on him being the one Ruthie was supposed to be with forever.

What they didn't realize was that he believed that Ruthie deserved better. Ruthie deserved someone who had saved himself for just her. Martin was not that guy, although now standing in the moon light with her, he really wished he was, that he had been morally stronger that summer when he had made all his costly mistakes.

"Okay it wasn't that bad was it?" Ruthie said confidently. "I've been told I'm a phenomenal kisser." She finished.

Martin looked at Ruthie his heart breaking. " I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

Ruthie cringed at his words...he was sorry?

"Not the reaction I usually get " Ruthie stated unable to hide her disappointment.

"Ruthie we haven't communicated in over two years, don't you think talking might have been a little more appropriate?" asked Martin.

"Appropriate or not, we both wanted that, we have for a long, long time, so what's the big deal?" Ruthie asked fighting back her tears.

"Do you even know why you're here Ruthie?" Martin hated that he had to be the one to put this all out there, but he felt like she deserved to know the truth.

"Of course I do. I'm not an idiot." "My parents are hoping that I will forget about my boyfriend who they hate with a fairly unbridled passion." Ruthie said using air quotes to make her point.

Martin stepped back a little needing the distance.

"They think you're in love with him and on the verge of making a huge mistake Ruthie...are you?" Martin held his breath as he waited for the answer.

Ruthie wanted to scream. Why could he still not see it? He was the one for her...the only one. And no matter how many ups and downs she had to experience with him in the end she wanted to end up with him and all that she had been saving was for him.

She hadn't answered his question, she had simply turned and walked away leaving him to wonder. He hated how she had always been able to do that...leave him wondering and wanting. Was it already too late? Had she already given herself to Ian?

Frustrated Ruthie had headed straight back to her cabin instead of the campfire. As she sat on the steps she pulled out her cell phone and dialed, waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.

Finally her dad answered.

"Dad its Ruthie." She blurted out.

"Ruthie sweetie so great to hear your voice" said her dad.

"Cut the baloney dad I have only got a few minutes and I have a lot to say." Ruthie said clearly agitated.

" I know why I'm here, I know what you and mom did and even why you did it. " Ruthie took a deep breath and plunged forward. But you forgot one thing.

Reverend Camden couldn't keep himself from interrupting.

"Imagining that maybe, just maybe I know what you're speaking of...What did we forget?" Her dad asked curious now.

" Martin doesn't love me. " lamented Ruthie. " And that's going to put a big hole in your picture perfect plan. "

As Ruthie's dad began to answer the other line beeped through.

" Can you hold on for a second sweetheart the other line is beeping and it could be important.

" This...this is important." Shouted Ruthie.

"Of course it is...but the other line could be church related, I'll just be a minute. "said her dad..

"Always time for a lost soul, never time for a lost daughter." Ruthie said under her breath.

Ruthie was almost ready to hang up when her dad came back on the line.

"Don't give up on Martin just yet Ruthie...I have a good feeling about him."

" I have to go dad, but you're wrong about this one. I promise you." Ruthie stated.

On the other line Martin sat waiting for the Reverend to pick back up, finally he clicked back on to the line.

"What can I help you with Martin" Reverend Camden said as innocently as possible.

" I can't help you with your plan Rev. Camden I thought I would be able to but I can't. Martin added the next sentence with a heavy heart ..." You asked me to help out Ruthie but the truth is she's not a little girl anymore and I'm not the one to talk to about avoiding the pitfalls of life since I've pretty much landed knee deep in every one." Martin reminded him.

Reverend Camden chuckled inwardly...everything as he could see it was going according to plan, now he just needed a little verbal confirmation.

"Did something happen with you two?"

" You're not as clever as you might think Rev. Camden. Ruthie and I both know why you sent her here. It's not going to happen." Martin finished.

" What 's not going to happen ? " Reverend Camden asked coyly.

" Her, me...us...I wasn't the right guy then and I'm not the right guy now. God has someone a lot less tarnished in mind for Ruthie than me. I guarantee it." Said Martin.

" You're being way too hard on yourself Martin and as for Ruthie well God put you both there for a reason so let's just wait and see.

"You sent Ruthie here!" said Martin raising his voice slightly. "This isn't God's plan this is Camden interference at its best!" "And you have no idea what you're doing."

Martin knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself and he hung up the phone without a goodbye, his frustration evident.

If not for the knock at his cabin door he would have immediately called Reverend Camden back with an apology. But for now that would have to wait.

As Martin approached the door he hesitated knowing almost instinctively who would be on the other side of it. Slowly he opened the door to find Ruthie there.

" You shouldn't be here." Said Martin.

" Then tell me to leave. " Ruthie replied.

Martin looked at the young girl in front of him she had certainly matured in their years apart from each other and yes he was definitely attracted to her. But it was more than that, she was the only person who ever made him regret the things he had done…the mistakes he had made.

" Can I come in please." She said putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

He would be nuts to let her in...he knew that. But he did it anyway glancing warily around to make sure no one saw him shut the door behind her.

Turning around and seeing that she had made herself comfortable in one of his big over stuffed chairs, Martin positioned himself on the tiny loveseat across from her.

"Okay...I'm sure you came here for a reason, so let me have it. " Martin steeled himself for a verbal battle.

"Remember when you moved into the house? Ruthie asked catching him completely off guard.

Instantly Martin was taken back to long ago, to the night Reverend and Mrs. Camden had taken him in to their home and their hearts, to the night he had met precocious Ruthie for the second time and they had forged what was suppose to be their forever friendship.

"Yeah...I remember. " Martin said with a nostalgic tone.

"We've been through a lot together haven't we? Ruthie asked.

"Yeah, we have. " Martin couldn't help but wondered where this was going.

"You've done a lot of things that have hurt me" off Martin's look Ruthie continued, and I'm pretty sure I've done my fair share to hurt you too. Martin nodded in full agreement.

"I'm going to break up with Ian." Ruthie offered.

Martin looked into Ruthie's eyes wanting to say what he knew she wanted to hear but letting her continue on instead.

"I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do."Ruthie continued with tears forming in her eyes.

" I'm pretty sure this news doesn't surprise you though, since it was probably your pre-programmed mission before I got here. " Ruthie said a hint of bitterness in her tone now.

"I know where you're going with this Ruthie and you could not be more wrong" Martin started to panic a little as he realized what she must be thinking now.

" I don't know why I'm even the slightest bit surprised though, I mean this is what you do...you lead me on right before you send me crashing down.

Martin got up from the couch and went over to Ruthie kneeling down in front of her to put them at eye level with each other.

Silently he reached for her hand and took it into his own softly caressing it with his fingers.

" You can either believe this or not…but I had no ulterior motive when I kissed you...it wasn't pre-planned. It just...happened. Martin sighed as he tried to make sense of it all.

Ruthie tried to ignore the sensation of Martin's fingers running gently across her skin, she was mad at him and she wanted him to know it.

"What do you want me to say? That it's okay? That we're cool? Cause we're not." "In case you haven't noticed…I'm not a little girl anymore and I don't have that silly school girl crush on you." Ruthie said trying to hold back her tears.

"Ruthie…I'm sorry…I am." Martin knew now was the time to tell her the truth, even if it might potentially blow up in his face.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, but not for the reasons you think." Martin swallowed a little to get over the lump forming in his throat.

" I think you're a jerk, and I think it's all about Martin and it always has been." Ruthie said through her now freely flowing tears.

Martin hesitated for a second before getting up and walking away from her.

"You know…let's go with that." Martin closed his eyes in pure frustration. "Because I don't have the strength to do this with you anymore."

Without another word Martin walked over and opened his cabin door.

"We're done here…you can show yourself out."

Ruthie stood up from the chair the surprised evident on her face, but her feet were still rooted to the ground. Was he really kicking her out?

" I said go." He said still standing by the door to accentuate his point.

"If I leave…we're done, you do realize that?"All attempts at salvaging our relationship will be met with deaf ears." Ruthie promised.

Annoyed Martin slammed the door and turned back around to Ruthie ready to speak his peace..

"You haven't really heard me in years! " Martin said his growing anger now evident.

"Why should this be any different?!"

Ruthie stepped back a little surprised at Martin's tone.

She was the one who had every right to be mad at him, not the other way around.

"What are you talking about?" Ruthie asked clearly confused now.

Martin knew it was too late to turn back now, the pain that was festering inside him needed to come out, but the shock in his voice was evident.

"What am I talking about?" "From the very first day I left Glen Oak I tried to reach you.

" I left you numerous voicemails, that went unanswered, I texted you daily and you never responded, I emailed you an embarrassing amount of times and not once did you send even one back with so much as a "hello." I gave you every chance to stay close to me, but you didn't want to be."

" You can't come here now and expect me to fall right back into step with you.

"Ruthie wished that she could say that he was wrong, but he wasn't…she had done everything she could to avoid him, a little from anger at his leaving but mostly from the pain she felt at losing him.

Ruthie tried to interrupt…"I'm sorry."

"I'm not finished. And you need to know this." Martin informed her.

" When I asked you to come home from Scotland, it wasn't because I needed a friend, it was because I wanted to be with you." "I had this whole corny speech worked out about you and me and how happy I could make you." Martin looked at Ruthie…he was emotionally drained.

"With a genuine need to know Ruthie asked "Why didn't you tell me this then?"

Martin sat down heavily on the love seat. "Because you didn't want to be with me, you kept going on and on about your new boyfriend in Scotland."

Ruthie's mind drifted back to the night she had gotten back from Scotland. She had been excited to see Martin, but it had quickly faded as he started in about Sandy and Aaron and her jealousy had begun rearing its ugly head.

She remembered rambling on about Liam, the Scottish boy she had met, as a defense mechanism against being hurt again by Martin. Now for the first time she saw what her immaturity might have cost her and she needed to know for sure how badly she might have screwed things up that night.

"Can I hear it now?" inquired Ruthie.

"Hear what?" Martin asked even though he understood all too well.

"The speech, the corny speech" Ruthie said filling in the blanks.

Martin hesitated, unsure…I mean what difference would it make now?

"It's stupid. I'm not even sure I remember it."

Frantically Martin tried to figure a way out of this. There had been a time when Ruthie was his heart and the words he had been so willing to say would have rung true, but now…too much time had passed and he didn't know the Ruthie standing before him at all. But maybe…just maybe his words could bring her back to him.

"I think you do." Ruthie chided him wanting so much for him to open up

Martin sighed as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes, it was still there after so long those…spark between them.

Martin remembered the first time he had felt it…they had been so young then and the best of friends.

He had prided himself on being her protector back then and she let him be up until he told her the truth about her no good boyfriend Vincent. They had fought and he had thought they were done up until Vincent dumped Ruthie and she had come to the garage apartment to apologize.

As he pulled her into his arms to comfort her that first un-brotherly like feeling had happened and it had shaken him to his core, but he had refused to act on it instinctively knowing that Ruthie was not ready and too good of a friend to risk losing her.

Coming back to reality Martin looked at Ruthie and patted the empty seat beside him on the couch.

Grinning Ruthie sat down next to him. Martin took her hand in his.

"If I say these things to you, If I give you this speech you need to take them in the context in which they were intended and the time for which they were true."

" And remember..I planned them for a girl I was very much in love with who I thought felt the same way."

Martin took a deep breath before pushing on, the feel of Ruthie's hand in his was perfect and he could almost imagine that this was how it should have gone if he had not run away into the night but instead stayed and fought for her.

Ruthie felt as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest at any minute. She knew if Martin said his speech to her she would be a goner, but she had to hear it…she needed to hear it and to let it validate to her that she had not wasted all those years on Martin.

"Okay…I promise you this is not verbatim…but it went something like this."

Instinctively Martin took Ruthie's other hand in his causing her to face him.

"I'm glad you came home Ruthie, but not to be here for me. I'm glad you came home because I want you to be with me…as my girlfriend.

Suddenly Martin let go of her hands.

"This is stupid. I feel foolish." Martin said clearly uncomfortable.

Reaching out Ruthie took Martin's hand into hers.

"You shouldn't…because my answer would have been yes." Now Ruthie felt a bit foolish. What did he care what her answer would have been. She was doing exactly what he asked her not to do taking the speech out of context.

Clearly startled Martin looked up at Ruthie. "Ruthie…I"

Ruthie cut him off before he could finish. "It's cool Martin, I just meant back then my answer would have been yes…I was crazy for you…but you knew that."

"I will always love you Ruthie you know that don't you.? " questioned Martin.

"Like a sister…yeah I get it" it was hard to hide the annoyance of that statement in her voice.

Martin knew that given his circumstances going forward now was wrong, wrong, wrong…but he needed to say what was in his heart before his common sense took over and he chickened out.

"You are the most impossible woman Ruthie…you have this huge heart that you either dole out to guys with loser tattooed across their forehead or you bottle it up to keep it away from the guys who might truly deserve you.

"I can't imagine how incredibly hard your husband will have to work to keep up with you. " "But that said…whoever he ends up being he will be one incredibly lucky guy."

Ruthie was on the verge of tears at Martin's beautiful words and she wanted to return the favor.

As she gazed into his intense, sexy eyes the words escaped her though as she opted for actions rather than words and grabbed onto the front of his shirt pulling him closer to her.

As their lips met she started slowly kissing him at first, teasing him with the soft pressure of her lips, waiting for that sign that he needed more and was as invested in this kiss as she was.

As she increased the pressure slightly he let out a small groan and she knew he was hers.

Years of being a preacher's daughter had kept her chaste in many ways and frankly when pretty much all you do is kiss you can get pretty good at it and she had.

As Martin felt himself sinking into her lips all he could think was…Damn she knew how to kiss!

For her part Ruthie knew that she was getting to him and usually at this point she would begin having to fight off the guys wandering hands, but Martin remained a gentleman merely using his arms to embrace her closer to him and as he lightly began nuzzling the side of her neck and raining small sensual kisses on it she thought she might faint.

No one had ever made her feel this way she felt alive and on fire and almost instinctively her body molded to fit his and for the first time in her life she wanted more from a guy not for the learning aspect but for the sheer thrill of it.

Martin sensed the turning point in Ruthie, he'd dated enough girls in the past to know when they wanted more and instantly he broke the kiss pushing her lightly from him.

"We need to stop." Martin said trying unsuccessfully to hide the tone of regret that had crept into his voice.

He was hoping only he knew that he was sorry not for kissing her but for having to stop.

"I'm not asking you to stop" Ruthie said with her best seductive tone, a tone which Martin found quite effective.

"Okay stop Ruthie…please give a guy a break." Martin pleaded.

"You know you're beautiful and sexy and yes I am insanely attracted to you and I don't think I've ever been so unwilling to break a kiss…but a week ago you weren't even talking to me." Martin tried to continue but Ruthie interrupted with her perspective.

"Talking is over-rated."

Okay this was so bad...no matter how over-rated talking was if she had been talking to him before coming here she would know why he couldn't do this. Why no matter how right this all felt…it was all wrong.

Martin stood up to get some distance but Ruthie wasn't giving up without a fight and went to stand in front of him putting her hand on his chest causing him to take a step backwards.

Ruthie liked the feeling of power she had in that moment, he may have been fighting his feelings but he was still hers and whatever walls he was putting up she was determined to break down.

It was a game of cat and mouse.

Every step Martin took backwards Ruthie stepped forward until she had backed him up against his bed. Finally with no place else to go Martin sat down on his bed and Ruthie took her final step to stand between his legs.

Martin told himself if he just didn't look at her everything would be okay he could "talk her down off the ledge she was so determined to leap off of."

But her hands on his face were so soft and demanding and his free will pretty much shot at this point so he allowed her to lift his chin up so their lips could meet once again.

It wasn't fair how good she was at this Martin thought, how she knew just the right moves to make and the right amount of pressure to exert to make him her willing participant.

It wasn't fair how perfectly their mouths fit together or how in sync they were as the kissing became more passionate and his hands found natural resting places that might have made Rev. Camden not so happy he had put them here in the mountains together virtually unsupervised.

Ruthie was in heaven everything about being in Martin's arms felt so right, as he turned her to lay her down on the bed the passion she saw in his eyes made her heart skip a beat.

But looking at Ruthie lying there so willing beneath him caused Martin's disconnected brain to finally start and he pulled quickly away from her and sat up.

Ruthie could not hide her disappointment as she sat up too.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked nervously.

Taking Ruthie's hand Martin pulled her off the bed.

Martin fully understood now why the Rev and Mrs. Camden were so worried about Ruthie and it worried him now too.

"You can't be this free with guys Ruthie; you just can't its going to get you into trouble." Martin lectured her.

Ruthie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Martin was lecturing her?

"I didn't hear you complaining earlier." Ruthie answered clearly annoyed with him now.

"Okay I'm a hypocrite…I get it. But I'm also worried about you if this is how you are with that guy Ian or any other guy for that matter." Martin added reluctantly.

"So this was what…a test?" a surprised Ruthie said.

Martin sensed her temper boiling just below the surface; it was a temper he knew all too well.

Ruthie could believe a lot of things about Martin but not that he would use her like this just to prove a point.

Completely hurt by Martin's accusations Ruthie headed for the door and opened it.

"Ruthie please wait." Martin pleaded

But her only response was to shut the door behind herself as she left.

Unable to stop the tears Ruthie began to cry on her way back to her cabin.

Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her.

"You okay Ruthie?" Ruthie turned to find Spencer standing there.

"Spencer…hi. Yeah I'm fine. I just got some bad news." Ruthie finished.

"Can I walk you back to your cabin?" asked a concerned Spencer.

Ruthie smiled at the young boy in front of her, he was sweet and good looking probably someone her parents would adore, but not someone she was attracted to which is what she would have gone with if in that moment she hadn't seen Martin coming down the road heading towards her cabin.

"Sure, yes…that would be really nice of you. Thank you." Ruthie said as she linked her fingers together with Spencer's to hold his hand.

"My pleasure." Said a now very happy Spencer.

Martin stopped walking as he saw Ruthie take Spencer's hand in hers and then lightly give him a peck on the cheek before turning to walk back towards her cabin.

Had she seen him? Was that little show for his benefit he wondered?

Ruthie wondered if Martin had followed them or not as she approached the cabin door with Spencer but unsure decided to go for it any way just in case.

Leaning in Ruthie began kissing a very surprised Spencer when out of the corner of her eye she saw Martin standing by a tree watching her.

This was going to be Spencer's lucky day she decided as she began to deepen the kiss.

Martin had had enough, he might not be her boyfriend but he was a counselor and she was making a spectacle of herself.

Boldly he marched up to her and Spencer and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Break it up guys this is a church camp." Martin said trying a little too hard not to sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Ruthie acted as if she hadn't heard him pulling Spencer closer to her.

"I said break it up!" Martin wanted so badly to ring this kid's neck.

Finally Ruthie stood back from Spencer as if she'd just heard Martin.

"You know boys aren't allowed in the girl's cabin area Spencer now get out of here before I report you to the director." Finished Martin.

"Right…I was just leaving." Stammered Spencer.

Ruthie leaned forward as if to kiss Spencer again and he looked at Martin torn.

"Don't even think it about it or you'll be spending the next two weeks rinsing and stacking cafeteria trays." Martin warned.

"I'll see you at campfire Ruthie." Spencer stated.

"Sounds good, save me a seat." Said Ruthie giving him a sweet smile and wave but when he rounded the corner out of sight she turned on Martin.

"You had no right to do that!" Ruthie shouted at him.

Martin looked at Ruthie his exasperation with her evident.

"I had every right." Said Martin. "You're a camper and I'm a counselor who is supposed to enforce the rules.

"Unless the rules are being broken by you…right?" accused Ruthie.

Martin could not figure out how he had gotten to this place with her.

He was being possessive of someone who wasn't even a part of his life anymore and she was right it was unfair to her.

Martin stepped closer to Ruthie so he could speak in a lower tone.

"Just tell me Ruthie do you really like Spencer or are you just pissed at me and he's the payback?"

Back at his cabin Martin sat down heavily on his bed.

His mind was reeling with thoughts of Ruthie and what had just occurred. He still hadn't told her the truth and now he had kissed her again!

He had stepped closer to her to lower his voice, he didn't really want all of the camp knowing his business, but in hindsight that had been his fatal mistake as she had uttered the one telling word.

"Payback."

She just knew how to push his buttons, to goad him into doing things he shouldn't be doing and that one word had sent him over the edge as he had pushed her back against the cabin wall and kissed her with everything he had before uttering his final parting words to her.

"Leave Spencer out of this…this is between you and me."

Ruthie sat down on her cabin bed unable to believe what had just happened between her and Martin. The feel of his kiss was still on her lips when Felice and Christine walked back into the cabin.

"Ruthie could tell that Christine and Felice had something on their minds.

"What's up guys?" asked Ruthie.

Felice pushed Christine towards Ruthie urging her to speak up.

"Go on tell her" Felice gave Christine a look indicating it was her job to do this.

"So…we saw you guys." Christine started.

Ruthie looked at Christine and Felice confused.

"You and Martin outside the cabin like ten minutes ago."

"Oh" was all Ruthie could think of to say. She should probably let Martin know that other people had seen them though.

Christine went on…"I'm guessing from the looks of that kiss you really like him"

Ruthie smiled…"yeah I do" she admitted.

Finally Felice stepped forward, "That's what we were afraid of."

I don't understand what do you mean? Questioned Ruthie.

"We just don't want to see you get hurt Ruthie"

Ruthie was confused why would Christine and Felice think Martin was going to hurt her?

"This is why we're telling you this now, before you get in any deeper." Felice continued.

"We have it on good authority that Martin has a girlfriend and that during the year when he's doing baseball…they live together."

Ruthie felt the room start to spin it all made perfect sense now all of Martin's cryptic talk…it wasn't that he didn't want to be with her, he couldn't because he was already with someone.

In her heart Ruthie had wanted to believe that Martin sleeping with Sandy had been a one time thing and that it had cured him of the sleeping with people before marriage thing…but if Martin had a girlfriend and he was living with her for the better part of the year it certainly wasn't platonic.

"Ruthie are you okay?" asked a now worried Christine.

Ruthie got up off her bed, putting her jacket on. "I have to go meet Spencer, but thank you guys for telling me the truth."

Christine and Felice knew that Ruthie was anything but okay but they had no idea what they could do to help, all they knew was they felt really sorry for Martin once Ruthie got a hold of him.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Dirty Little Secret

Author: Juana

Rating: M

It had been a few days since Ruthie had talked to Martin and it was killing her, but it was for the best she told herself, and besides she was still angry with him for kissing her when he had a girlfriend.

A few cabins away Martin knew his mind should be on the meeting he was in, but he couldn't help it, his thoughts kept wandering back to Ruthie and the hell she had been putting him through since the kiss at her cabin.

Stupidly he had thought the kiss would put her in her place and keep her away from the love-struck Spencer. He had no idea how that one amazing moment had all blown up in his face so completely.

Walking into the meeting hall that night he had been subjected to a very coupled Ruthie and Spencer

And it had just gotten worse from there, everywhere he turned the next few days they were there, practically attached at the hip.

Martin knew in his heart that Ruthie was using Spencer to get back at him but it still stung none the less to see her with him, hugging him, laughing with him and worst of all was the kissing.

Martin realized he couldn't stand the thought of any other guys' lips on Ruthie's.

Ruthie for her part hadn't really intended to keep hanging out with Spencer, but watching Martin trying so hard not to react to them together had motivated her to keep playing a part, the part of a girl who was actually into Spencer.

The reality though was worlds different. Ruthie was much more interested in seeing Martin suffer for his deception and if being with Spencer was the way to accomplish that then "so be it."

But after a few days of "operation payback" Ruthie realized she couldn't keep this up much longer, she had no real chemistry with Spencer and kissing him was for lack of a better word "bland" and something she did not look forward to.

Just another reason to hate Martin, she thought. He had ruined the casual art of kissing for her, now she needed the fireworks and the kisses that curled her toes and made her insides feel like hot, melted butter.

It was because of this realization that Ruthie decided she was ready to give up the farce, and she probably would have if not for Megan, bubbly, annoying, cute as a button Megan.

Megan thought Martin was "hot" and so had sweet talked him into walking her back to her cabin one night.

As they had started up the hill Megan had spotted Ruthie and Spencer saying their good-byes in the campfire area and had quickly acknowledged them to Martin in hopes he might be "inspired."

"Isn't young love great?" Megan sighed wistfully.

Martin followed Megan's gaze to see what she was talking about.

"Yeah, great." Martin said, less than enthusiastically, trying his best to tear his eyes away from watching Spencer slobbering all over Ruthie.

Sure the timing was right; Megan looked over at Martin giving him her best come hither look.

Sensing Megan looking at him Martin turned towards her and smiled, for him it was just a friendly gesture, for her it was all the invitation she needed.

Purposefully Megan put her arm around the back of Martin's neck to pull him closer he instinctively started to pull away, but he wasn't quick enough and she had him in a lip-lock before he had the chance to protest.

It was just his luck, he realized that Megan's timing couldn't have been worse, as he pulled away from her and saw Ruthie and Spencer standing there.

Spencer's was giving Martin the thumbs up sign, but Martin could tell by the look on Ruthie's face that she was livid at what she had just witnessed.

Her mind reeling, Ruthie walked quickly past Martin with her head held high, determined not to give him the satisfaction of knowing that it still mattered to her what he did or who he was doing it with.

Spencer had to practically run to catch up to Ruthie's fast retreating figure.

As soon as Ruthie was out of sight Martin turned on Megan.

"Why did you do that?" He asked bewildered.

"Martin…I'm sorry." said a somewhat embarrassed Megan…"I guess I misinterpreted the signals." "Let's just say...no harm done and we move on as friends?"

"No harm done? Martin knew that statement was anything but true at this point. Ruthie was already mad at him, why he wasn't exactly sure, but now the kiss with Megan was sure to keep her avoiding him for the rest of her time at Foothill.

Martin tossed and turned that whole night in bed trying to figure out how he could heal the rift between him and Ruthie and in the morning hours, after little or no sleep, he realized what he had to do.

In the Camden home Eric was sitting in his study reading over his sermon for the next morning when the phone began to ring, quickly he picked it up.

"This is Reverend Camden" he answered.

Martin knew that in order for his plan to work he was going to need Reverend Camden on his side, and that was going to require telling him about his girlfriend Lily.

"I'm sorry to bother you so early Reverend, its Martin."

"Martin, son, how are you?" "Is everything okay with Ruthie?" Reverend Camden said now a little concerned; this was Martin's second call in just a few short days after all.

"Ruthie is fine." Martin said.

"So then the purpose of this phone call is just to check in?" inquired Rev. Camden.

"Not exactly." answered Martin.

Reverend Camden listened intently as Martin confessed his feelings for Ruthie to him.

"I have to say Martin it's very uplifting to hear a young man so passionate about his love and commitment to a woman, and well, to know that passion and commitment are for Ruthie…it makes me proud son. Annie and I could not ask for a better match for Ruthie, you are already like family." Finished Rev. Camden.

At that moment, Martin could not have felt more like a dirt-bag loser as he realized, maybe he should have started with the obstacles in the way of him and Ruthie being together first and then followed up with how he felt about her.

"I screwed up Rev. Camden." Martin said more than a hint of remorse in his tone.

"You have my attention." Reverend Camden said.

Martin swallowed over the lump forming in his throat, as he prepared to tell the Reverend something he knew could very well change his view on him being a perfect match for Ruthie.

"I have a girlfriend…a long term, live-in girlfriend…her name is Lily" Martin finally confessed.

The dead silence on the phone made Martin more than a little nervous, finally the Reverend spoke.

"We've spoken practically every week for the past two years, you never mentioned a girlfriend." Said a surprised Rev. Camden. "

Martin could hear the disappointment in Rev. Camden's voice and it made him feel about two feet tall.

"I can only assume it is because of the stance you know Annie and I have on this particular subject that you chose to keep Lily a secret. That said…I have to apologize for sending Ruthie there under the circumstances."

Martin couldn't believe his ears; Rev. Camden was apologizing to him?

"I shouldn't have presumed so much regarding you and Ruthie." The reverend finished his remorse evident.

Martin couldn't hold back anymore, the Reverend was being way too nice.

"I kissed Ruthie." Martin blurted out.

Again dead silence from the Reverend's end.

When the Rev. finally spoke again his tone was a little less understanding but it was also evident that he was still trying to be compassionate towards someone he regarded as family.

"Let's just call it a one time kiss among friends, in time Ruthie will understand." The Reverend offered.

Martin figured if the reverend was going to help him he needed to know the whole truth so reluctantly he confessed his last dirty little secret.

"It was several kisses…and there was nothing friend-like about it." Martin interjected now truly embarrassed.

I should have prayed for only sons thought the Reverend, girls needed to be protected and watched like a hawk at all times.

"Can I assume at this point that Ruthie knows about your girlfriend?" inquired the Reverend hoping beyond hope to hear the right answer.

"You could, but it would be a wrong assumption." Martin said, less than happy about having to admit this.

"I think you know what you need to do Martin, tell Ruthie the truth and then maybe back away a few feet just in case, she has Annie's temper." Reverend Camden added.

Martin was pretty sure that was as good as it was going to get for now, so he said his goodbyes to the Reverend and prepared to end the phone call.

"One last thing son…remember that Ruthie will act tougher than she really is and try to be gentle where her feelings are involved." Implored Reverend Camden.

"I will." Promised Martin.

After his phone call with the Reverend, Martin felt a little more equipped to handle things with Ruthie, his mission clear, to tell her the truth.

Ruthie and Spencer were already seated at Martin's table when he walked into the dining hall for breakfast and for the first time that week he was glad to see her there.

Knowing he was going to handle things and then the over eager Spencer would be history made Martin feel like a weight had been lifted off of him.

As Martin sat down at the table Ruthie purposefully turned away from him to talk to Spencer.

Fine, let her shut him out he thought, soon enough she would have no choice but to talk to him.

As Ruthie sat talking to Spencer the camp director came to the front of the dining hall and rang the bell that signaled morning announcements.

"Morning campers. It is a beautiful day and also the beginning of the Foothill games!" said the director his excitement showing. If everyone will kindly take a look under their trays you will find your team color written there in marker."

All across the dining hall you could hear the sound of trays being picked up and people high -fiving each other as they found their teammates.

Martin watched as Ruthie and Spencer turned over their trays.

"Red team" Ruthie said.

"Purple team" Spencer said his disappointment obvious.

Martin said a silent prayer of thanks that Ruthie and Spencer would at least be separated during the day while the games were being played.

As the noise in the dining hall began to wind down the director once again rang the bell signaling for everyone to please turn their attention to him again.

"All right campers now that we all have our team assignments, I feel it necessary to add that switching is not an option, A lot of work went into creating these teams to keep everything fair and evenly matched."

"I should have known something was up when they made you take a different color tray then me "Spencer said complaining.

He knew he should probably feel a little bad for the guy, but man Martin was enjoying this, now Ruthie would have no guy to dangle in front of him to torture him, he didn't see how this day could get any better.

And then the bell rang again and the director stepped up once again to the mike.

"And now if you'll turn your attention to the white board behind me campers you will be able to see who your team captains are." He said.

With a dramatic flourish the director turned the white board over and Martin instantly saw how this day could get better, he was Ruthie's team captain.

Ruthie could not believe this…Martin was her team captain?!

As Ruthie turned around from the looking at the white board she stared directly at Martin, she knew somehow he was responsible for this and she wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look off of his face.

Martin could tell that Ruthie was not happy, but he didn't care because he saw this opportunity for what it was, a chance for him to get Ruthie talking to him again.

Back at her cabin Ruthie paced the floor trying to come up with a way or a reason not to have to play these stupid games.

The option of changing teams had been all but eliminated, as not one person had been allowed to leave their table until a counselor had verified and written down their team color.

She was Martin's and there was nothing she could do about it now.

The teams were already gathering at the field when Ruthie and Christine walked up in search of the Red team. Thankfully Christine and Ruthie had at least ended up together so she felt like she would have at least one ally.

Christine spotted Martin first and turned quickly to Ruthie.

"Cheater boy ahead." Teased Christine.

Ruthie knew Christine was just trying to lighten the mood but the truth of those words just dinged Ruthie's heart.

Martin watched as Ruthie and one of the girls from her cabin began walking his way and he did his best to remain cool.

"Welcome to the red team ladies" said Martin as he handed them each a team shirt.

"I can't wear this." complained Ruthie tossing the shirt back to Martin.

"Why not?" asked Martin.

"Let's just say Red is not my color, if you switch me to another team however I'll gladly wear their shirt. " Ruthie said trying to annoy Martin enough to let her go.

"Nice try, but I'm pretty sure you heard the rules just like everyone else…no switching" Martin said as he tossed the shirt back at her.

"And I'm pretty sure since you made the rules, you can bend them" Ruthie countered.

"Made the rules?" Martin understood Ruthie's implication all too well and decided to set her straight.

"I didn't ask for you to be on my team if that's where you're going with this. This was as big a surprise to me as it was to you."

Martin knew he was being a little mean but it was just killing him that Ruthie obviously wanted zero to do with him.

Strike one, Martin obviously wasn't going to allow a switch, but as far as Ruthie was concerned that was a decision he would soon be regretting.

Martin's first thought was that he could easily arrange so that he and Ruthie were not partnered on any of the games, and then he wouldn't have to deal with her hostility, but the realization that that was exactly what she wanted made him harden his resolve to show her that she had no idea who she was dealing with.

As the afternoon was winding down Ruthie came to the realization that she didn't know what to do anymore, the harder she tried to push Martin away the more determined he became to be right there beside her.

Instead of staying away from her which she'd been pushing for he had picked her as his partner when he had paired up the boy/girl couples.

And now at the end of day one they were the lead couple not only on the red team but in the whole competition.

"So I guess we make a pretty good team" Martin said his meaning a double edged one.

"I guess" Ruthie admitted reluctantly.

Martin look at Ruthie longingly, he just couldn't communicate with her any more and he didn't know why.

But tomorrow during free period he was going to find out why…he had a plan.

That night Ruthie sat staring at her cell phone, she wanted the truth and she knew if anyone besides Martin could give it to her it was his best friend Mac so reluctantly she dialed.

It rang once, twice, three times and was finally picked up on the fifth ring just when Ruthie was about to give up.

"Hello?" answered an out of breath Margaret.

Ruthie was surprised to hear Margaret's voice on Mac's phone, but he was Margaret's boyfriend after all so yeah that's one of those things couples do decided Ruthie.

"Hey Margaret, it's me Ruthie"

"Ruthie…wow…great to hear from you. How is camp?" asked Margaret.

"Fine…its fine. Is uh…is Mac there?" Ruthie asked trying to cut to the chase.

"Sure he's actually in the other room I'll go get him for you." Margaret offered.

As Ruthie sat patiently waiting on the phone Margaret stood freaking out in the other room.

"What are you going to say to her Mac?" asked a clearly flustered Margaret.

"The truth if I have to, I told Martin if she called here I wouldn't be able to lie to her." Mac headed to pick up his cell. Martin was his buddy but this dance between him and Ruthie was wearing him thin.

Mac picked up the phone with a cheery disposition; he couldn't lie to Ruthie so he could only hope he could dance around the issue of Martin and Lily long enough to not have to be the one to break poor Ruthie's heart.

"Hey Ruthie what's up princess?" Mac teased.

No greeting, no warning, just straight to the heart of the matter, that was Ruthie's plan how Mac had managed to get her off the phone without ratting Martin out she wasn't sure, but he had.

Ruthie was now more confused than ever, Martin was definitely hiding something, Mac's song and dance with her on the phone told her that.

Day two of the games was exhausting and Ruthie couldn't wait for free period. She and Martin were still in the lead but simply put she had had more physical contact with him today and yesterday than in the span of their entire friendship and it was unnerving.

The congratulatory back pats and hugs, the games that required holding on to each other, the brushing of limbs as they worked together to complete a challenge were all breaking him down. Martin had wanted Ruthie close to him, but now that he had her there he was a wreck.

Martin loved Ruthie's competitive spirit and how much it matched his, but if he didn't get some kind of resolution today he wasn't sure how he was going to keep up this façade of being just her teammate.

As the bell rang for free period Ruthie started to head for her cabin…she just needed a nap and then she would be better equipped to have Martin so close to her practically 24-7.

As Ruthie started up the hill to her cabin an announcement came over the loud speaker that she had a call waiting for her in the phone room.

She couldn't imagine who would be calling her there except possibly her dad, he had an embarrassing habit of keeping tabs on her so when she had renewed to a new cell number she had refused to give it to him to teach him a lesson. So yeah…he would have to call the camp directly to get a hold of her.

Bone weary Ruthie started back down the hill and headed into the main building towards the phone room, a small cubicle size booth that the camp had equipped for the campers to make a weekly call or to receive incoming phone calls.

As she approached the phone room she saw the door was open so she stepped inside and went to pick up the phone that lay off the hook, suddenly the door closed behind her and she turned around to see, well actually practically step on, Martin.

The phone room was cozy with one person in it, two was definitely close quarters, especially when one of those two was a 6 foot, muscular guy.

Unable to contain her surprise at seeing Martin "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk to you" Martin stated in a matter of fact.

"I don't want to talk to you. Can't you take a hint?" pleaded Ruthie.

"We've been friends too long to keep going round and round in circles like this." Martin said frustrated.

Ruthie looked at the phone lying off the hook and turned back to Martin.

"There's no phone call is there."It wasn't so much a question as a statement.

"No." admitted Martin.

"I can't believe you . Are you really that desperate to talk to me?" said Ruthie in disbelief.

"Yeah…I guess I am." Martin admitted.

"Why?" asked Ruthie. "Wouldn't it be easier to keep the truth from me if we just stopped doing this?"

Martin knew from Mac that Ruthie suspected something was up with him, but Mac swore he had not told Ruthie about Lily. But without a doubt she knew Martin could see it in her eyes.

"You already know about Lily don't you?" Martin knew the answer to that question even before he asked.

"Lily…is that her name?" questioned Ruthie.

Martin felt sick to his stomach, it all made sense now; somehow Ruthie had found out about Lily and had been waiting for him to come clean.

"Ruthie…I was going to tell you." "Things just got so complicated" complained Martin.

This was not the way Ruthie had wanted to confront Martin, in a space so small she could barely move without brushing up against him and feeling the warmth of his body.

But he had it coming and if it had to happen here then it would.

"You kissed me…you kissed me knowing you had a girlfriend back at your apartment waiting for you!" Ruthie said raising her voice.

Ruthie didn't know what she had expected from Martin, but backing down was not it.

"I did…and I'm sorry." Martin said the sincerity obvious in his voice.

"Well I hate you…I truly hate you for doing this to me again."Ruthie said wearily as she tried to move past Martin to get to the door, but he stood there an immovable object.

As far as Martin was concerned they were far from being done here.

"You aren't seriously planning on keeping me prisoner in here are you?" asked Ruthie just a touch nervous at that prospect.

Martin reached out to touch Ruthie's face and the second he made contact he regretted it as her tears started to flow.

"I have missed you Ruthie, and I'm not just talking about up here while you've been giving me the silent treatment." Stated Martin.

"I've spent the last two years missing you." Martin confessed.

Ruthie could tell Martin was about to really open up to her and it just wasn't something she wanted to hear, not anymore.

"Please don't do this Martin…don't make me listen to how good we could have been together, because it didn't happen that way.

"I just need you to know that I have my regrets" explained Martin.

Ruthie looked at Martin, a sad look crossing her tear stained face.

"You know what I regret?" started Ruthie

"I regret that after picking a fight with me, you left in the middle of the night without even saying good bye…because that's our reality." Ruthie reminded him her patience starting to wear thin.

"I know that was our reality Ruthie…I know I made mistakes." Admitted Martin.

"But this is reality now too…and we need to figure it out." he finished.

"What is there to figure out?" "You have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and for whatever reason we tried to pretend like we didn't." Ruthie said her voice tinged with guilt now.

Martin didn't understand why Ruthie was making this so difficult and why she refused to listen to reason.

"I didn't kiss you to be self-serving Ruthie, I kissed you because every time I look into your eyes I see my future." Martin said opening his heart to her.

Ruthie couldn't believe what she was hearing, and it caught her completely off guard.

"What?" said Ruthie unable to process.

"I love you Ruthie. Two years ago I thought I lost my chance with you, so I tried to move on." Admitted Martin.

He wanted her to tell him that she loved him too, but he knew she wasn't there because of the trust issues they had yet to work through.

Ruthie's mind was reeling she wanted to give Martin a chance but a part of her still felt betrayed.

After all he had made promises before, promises that had broken her heart when he was unable to keep them.

"I'm not going to keep you here if you don't want to be." Martin said as he stepped away from the door so she could leave.

When Ruthie didn't immediately move Martin made an impulsive decision and pulled her into his arms to give her a hug.

As she stood in his arms head on his chest he knew that she would figure this all out and she would be back…he was certain of it.

And when she finally tilted her head to look at him the kiss between them came naturally, her lips soft and inviting pulling him in.

As the kiss deepened Martin tasted the salt of her tears and it filled him with regret for all the pain he had caused her, but his promise to her was this time he would get it right.

No more girlfriends, no more unplanned pregnancies…just Ruthie, him and Ruthie.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Circle of Friends

Author: Juana

Authors Note: For those who may not know what chicken fights are it is a water game where the boy holds the girl on his shoulders and they go against another couple with the two girls wrestling against each other until someone falls into the water.

The shade of the trees was cool and refreshing as Ruthie sat trying to collect her thoughts.

The minute Martin had ended the kiss in the phone room Ruthie had regretted letting it happen.

It killed her how easy it had become to be swept up by Martin in just a few short days, when just over a week ago she had been banished here because of a steamy session on her bed with Ian, followed by her defense of "being in love.

She didn't think she had really lied to herself or her parents; a part of her did love Ian. Ian was smart and fun and had the bad boy thing down to a tee, but most of all Ian had made Ruthie feel alive.

And she had needed that. She had grown sick and tired of hurting over Martin and hoping for him to come back.

The big problem with Ian and the reason none of her friends liked him was that when Ruthie met him he had been dating Margaret's friend Jane.

Ruthie recalled how during one of their late night phone sessions Ian told her that he had liked her instantly, but had kept things going with Jane because she was more his type. Falling for a "good girl" had never even been an option until he had met Ruthie.

It was only now thinking back that Ruthie realized being with Ian had been a way to prove to everyone that she wasn't a little girl anymore. But what was that saying? "Be careful what you wish for?"

Ian had constantly put pressure on Ruthie to be a "bad girl."…just once he was fond of saying, but Ruthie knew "just once" could ruin your life…it had certainly ruined her and Martin and any chance they may have had.

In fact up until the make-out session on her bed Ian and Ruthie had begun having daily battles on her "wanting to wait" stance.

It was true, God worked in mysterious ways. Ruthie knew with little or no doubt that if she hadn't been caught with Ian that things could have gotten out of control.

Finally Ruthie understood all too well what her sisters Lucy and Mary and even her brother Simon had been trying to explain to her over the years regarding boys and relationships that if you weren't careful life could get messy.

And boy was her life messy now.

The fact that she knew Martin's "little secret", was finally out in the open, but it didn't change the fact that Martin was still technically with his girlfriend.

And it was that fact that post kiss had made her bolt from the phone room practically mowing down Pastor Dixon as she raced down the hall.

Ruthie didn't know if she was far enough down the hall to make it seem that Martin coming up behind her was pure coincidence or not, but she didn't really care in that moment either as she just needed to get out of there and away from Martin's charismatic influence to gain some perspective.

Martin wanted another chance with her and it both elated and scared her.

"Ms. Camden, Mr. Brewer, what a surprise to see you here." said Pastor Dixon.

As Pastor Dixon looked at Ruthie he could tell she had a lot on her mind.

"Everything okay Ms. Camden?" asked Pastor Dixon with a concerned tone.

Martin stood behind Ruthie wanting desperately to take her away somewhere to talk to her but it was obvious she wanted nothing more than to get away from him right now.

"I'm fine...I just...I should probably get going." said Ruthie weakly.

"I should probably go too." added Martin hoping to speed things up and get away from what could potentially be an awkward situation.

Pastor Dixon looked knowingly from Ruthie to Martin and back again before finally speaking up.

"Very well...but I'd like to have a word with you first Martin if you don't mind." finished Pastor Dixon.

Ruthie felt sorry for Martin, he obviously had some kind of lecture in his future, but she was relieved none the less to be free of his over powering presence and to be given the chance to clear her mind.

Martin didn't know if it was Pastor Dixon's office that was stifling or if it was the thought that the pastor might possibly know what he had been up to less than 20 minutes ago with Ruthie that was making him sweat, but he was uncomfortable none the less.

"How are you this afternoon Martin?" asked Pastor Dixon.

Martin looked at the Pastor trying to gauge what this little impromptu meeting was all about as clearly he hadn't brought him in here for small talk.

"I'm good...great...I'm great." Martin couldn't help his nervous behavior.

Pastor Dixon shuffled some papers on his desk before looking up at Martin, wisdom in his eyes.

"I was a young man once upon a time too." offered Pastor Dixon. "I know the temptations a young man can face" he said cryptically.

Martin was nothing short of embarrassed at this point as he realized that Pastor Dixon was about to give him the whole "premarital relations talk."

Little late for that one buddy, thought Martin in the back of his mind.

It was easy for Martin to see that Pastor Dixon was pretty good at putting two and two together.

Deciding denial would probably be seen right through Martin opted for a pared down version of truth.

"Ruthie and I are friends." Martin said unwilling to elaborate more.

"Ah yes...and I was born yesterday." "I'm not here to judge Martin, I happen to think you are a fine, upstanding young man and I've known Ruthie Camden since she was a baby, which is why I think it necessary to implore you to err on the side of caution in this situation." added the Pastor.

Martin understood in that moment just how large Reverend Camden's circle of friends was and that because of that his past which he had tried so desperately to escape was catching up with him again.

"Reverend Camden called you?" Martin said unable to contain his surprise.

Pastor Dixon realized too late that he had let the cat out of the bag so to speak, something he had promised the Reverend he would not do.

"Guilty as charged." Pastor Dixon admitted.

"But you must understand Martin…he's worried about his daughter just like any good father would be." Pastor Dixon finished.

A part of Martin was hurt that Reverend Camden trusted him so little, but a part of him completely understood that his past mistakes sent a powerful message of irresponsibility.

"I've made my mistakes Pastor Dixon...I have and obviously you know to what magnitude, but you can tell Reverend Camden he has nothing to worry about here. I have no intention of hurting Ruthie or her reputation. I'm not the devil...I promise you.

"Neither the Reverend or I think you are the devil Martin, just a young man in love and although we don't need to dwell on our past mistakes, we do need to learn from then to avoid repeating them." Pastor Dixon advised.

Martin was more than a little irritated now at Reverend Camden for airing his dirty laundry with someone like Pastor Dixon.

"I should go, but thank you for the advice" Martin said as politely as possible.

Back in her cabin Ruthie pulled a pair of shorts on over her swimsuit. She should already be down at the pool, and she knew that if she didn't hurry Martin would come looking for her and that was the last thing she needed right then, more alone time with Martin.

Since most of the teams had already made it to the pool, Martin couldn't help but worry about Ruthie and he had already decided that if she wasn't there in the next few minutes he was going to go looking for her; thankfully he finally spotted her entering the pool area.

Glancing in his direction Ruthie saw that Martin was ready to go having already shed his shirt to enter the pool and she couldn't take her eyes off his muscled arms and chiseled chest.

Unfortunately Martin caught Ruthie looking at him and smiled at her which caused her to become slightly embarrassed at her open appreciation of his shirtless form.

"I was afraid you wouldn't show" said Martin as Ruthie walked up to him now more than a little embarrassed.

"I had to change into my suit." offered a red-faced Ruthie.

Martin looked at Ruthie, he wanted her to say something about why she had run out of the phone room earlier, but he realized now was probably not the time as announcement came over the pool's loud speaker that the chicken fights were about to begin.

Martin turned to face Ruthie "You ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be." said Ruthie as she shed first her shirt and then her shorts.

Now it was Martin's turn do the gawking, but to his credit he tried really hard not to, unlike some of the other boys there.

Ruthie smirked as she realized Martin not only liked what he saw, but he was actually jealous of the other boys who glanced her way in appreciation.

Jumping into the pool at the shallow end, Martin turned to Ruthie and held his arms out to her indicating he would help her in.

Reluctantly Ruthie followed Martin's direction and allowed him to put his arms around her waist and bring her into the pool, an action that caused her swimsuit clad body to connect with his now wet torso. His intention had been simply to help her into the pool, but the unexpected contact served to immediately quicken his pulse and make him highly aware of the feel of her hands on his chest.

Ruthie stepped quickly back as if she had touched a hot stove and Martin smiled a little uncomfortably.

"We uh…we need to get in position." Martin reminded Ruthie.

"Right." Said Ruthie glad for the distraction.

Actually the last place Ruthie wanted to be was sitting on top of Martin's shoulders, his hands' holding on to her legs, but at this point she didn't see any way out of it.

As Martin ducked under the water Ruthie positioned herself on top of his shoulders and then tapped him on the head to indicate he could stand up.

Now ready to do battle Martin moved with Ruthie on his shoulders over to the center of the pool to face their first opponent.

One after the other Ruthie and Martin took down the other warring couples, they were unstoppable, a perfect match. It looked like the competition was going to be theirs for the taking with only one last couple to beat Brett and Sissy.

Brett and Martin were evenly matched in height, but Sissy clearly out weighed Ruthie by at least twenty-five pounds. Martin was a little concerned.

On the side of the pool Martin stood with Ruthie his intent to strategize their plan of attack, but he couldn't help but notice that Ruthie was doing the whole eye contact thing and with Brett of all people.

"Okay what are you doing? " Martin said annoyed.

"I'm flirting." Ruthie said matter of fact.

Martin moved to stand in front of Ruthie obstructing her line of vision.

"And now you're not." He said trying to contain his annoyance.

"Last time I checked you were neither my dad nor my boyfriend." Ruthie said motioning for him to move aside.

Martin had no idea what was possessing Ruthie at this point, but he didn't like it and as the whistle blew signaling the next round he was more than a little irritated with her.

Sitting back atop Martin's shoulders Ruthie was ready; her strategy was simple, flirt with Brett to distract Sissy, who she knew had a huge crush on him.

Ruthie's thought process had been that if Sissy saw Ruthie getting Brett's attention then she would be easier to take down and as the chicken fight began she was sure she had been right as the more she smiled down at Brett the more Sissy faltered.

In hindsight though Ruthie realized she probably should have clued Martin into her little plan.

Ruthie had done some inexplicable things in their friendship thought Martin, but purposefully trying to hurt him seemed cruel for her. But here she was openly flirting with Brett while she sat on top of his shoulders trusting him to keep her upright.

The chicken fight could have easily gone either way, but as Martin watched Brett smiling up at Ruthie for like the umpteenth time he had had enough and with one swift push backwards dumped Ruthie off his shoulders and into the pool virtually giving the competition to Brett and Sissy on a silver platter.

As Ruthie came up sputtering from the water she turned towards Martin on the verge of losing her temper.

Thankfully the majority of the people at the pool were clamoring around the winners, so Ruthie and Martin fighting wasn't going to be center stage.

"Why did you do that?" Ruthie asked angrily her temper no longer in check.

"Do what?" Martin asked innocently.

"You pushed me backwards." Ruthie said in an accusatory tone.

"Sure it wasn't Sissy she's a pretty strong girl." Offered Martin.

"And you're a pretty big liar." Added Ruthie, pushing past him to get out of the pool and away from him.

Martin knew he should just let her go that it would look really bad for him to follow her out of the pool area, but as was the norm with them he wasn't ready to back down.

Ruthie pulled on her top and shorts hastily, her thought just to get out of there, but he was there beside her before she had a chance.

"I owe you an apology." Stated Martin.

"Yeah…you do." Interjected Ruthie.

"But you owe me an apology too." Finished Martin.

Ruthie couldn't believe her ears; Martin thought she owed him an apology?

"I don't recall dumping you in the pool." Ruthie said her annoyance now evident.

"I'd prefer that over the way you keep messing with my head." Martin admitted.

Ruthie had no idea what Martin was talking about.

"I don't know what you think I did to "mess with your head, so why don't you just tell me? Ruthie ordered.

Martin hated being the vulnerable one. He felt he had endlessly opened his heart and feelings up to Ruthie with little or no commitment from her end and it sucked.

"Forget it." Martin said deciding to hold his tongue. "I'll just talk to you later."

Ruthie watched Martin as he retreated from the pool area, she wanted to go after him but she could see that he was trying to work through something so she let him go besides she was still annoyed with him for dumping her in the pool.

Martin hated doing laundry, but right now it was a welcome relief to toss in a load of clothes and sit there in silence…silence which was too soon interrupted as Brett came in carrying his laundry.

"Hey man…good job at the games." Offered Brett sitting across the way from Martin.

Martin knew he should just say "Thanks" and move on, but he was completely annoyed with Brett at this point for openly flirting with Ruthie so he pretended not to hear him.

What Martin didn't know was that Brett had tracked him to the laundry room for a reason and had no intention of leaving until he got the info he came for.

Deciding just to cut to the chase Brett dove in.

"So how long have you known that chick Ruthie?" questioned Brett.

Martin was pretty sure he was going to deck Brett in the next five seconds if he didn't leave, first of all he hated the use of the word "chick" to describe Ruthie and secondly he could tell where this line of questions was heading and he didn't like it.

"Since we were kids, she's a nice girl." informed Martin putting a heavy emphasis on the word "nice."

"Yeah and she looks smokin in a swimsuit" added Brett, clearly unaware how close he was to becoming one with Martin's fist if he kept this up.

Martin knew if Brett kept this up he would lose his temper, so he decided instead to shut him down.

"I know Ruthie well enough to know you're not her type, so you should probably cut your losses and move on." Advised Martin.

"She was giving me the eye at the pool man…she's interested." Brett said a confident smile on his face.

Martin knew that Brett was right, he had after all witnessed it first hand, but Martin also knew that Brett was only interested in Ruthie for one reason and there was no way he was helping him out with that.

"She's not even eighteen Brett and she has a boyfriend." Hello? Hypocrite much? Thought Martin.

"Really?" said a surprised Brett.

"Yeah…sorry man." Martin said his voiced laced with sarcasm.

Brett tossed his laundry bag back over his shoulder and got up to leave.

"You aren't going to do your laundry?" questioned Martin.

"Nah…some other time." Brett said as he stepped out the door, closing it behind him.

It was then that Martin realized Brett had come there for insight on Ruthie and it began to really disturb him how ingrained his life was with Ruthies when he had no idea where her mind was regarding him.

Stepping outside the cabin Ruthie sat down on the steps.

Christine and Felice were inside with the music cranked up…dancing and laughing and just generally being fools, something Ruthie might have normally joined in on but today she found herself shunning it in favor of a more sedate setting.

Martin was constantly on her mind and right now was no exception. When he was kissing her she felt complete and secure that he was where he wanted to be, but the minute the moments were over he became harder to read.

Lost in her thoughts Ruthie was surprised to look up and see Sissy standing there.

"Can I talk to you for a minute Ruthie?" Sissy asked.

"Sure. Have a seat. "Ruthie said motioning to the seat beside her.

Quickly Sissy sat down and turned to Ruthie to say what she came to say before she lost her nerve.

"I really, really like Brett." Sissy confessed clearly embarrassed.

Ruthie wasn't sure why Sissy was sharing this with her so she decided just to go with it.

"Okay…I'm very happy for you?" Ruthie said not sure what kind of response Sissy was looking for here.

"Brett likes you." Said Sissy unable to hide the sad tone in her voice.

Ruthie looked at Sissy, her surprise evident.

"I'm sorry…what did you say? " Ruthie asked clearly confused by this turn of events.

"He likes you." Repeated Sissy.

Ruthie couldn't believe this; aside from the fake flirting she had barely registered him on her radar how could Brett possibly like her?

Whatever, it was time to set Sissy straight.

"I don't like him." Ruthie said forcefully.

Now it was Sissy's turn to be confused.

"Then why were you flirting with him at the pool? Sissy asked.

Without hesitation Ruthie explained her now useless strategy to distract Sissy enough to win the chicken fight.

Both girls started laughing as they realized how ridiculous the situation was and Ruthie assured Sissy that she had no intentions of dating Brett.

Relieved Sissy stood up and thanked Ruthie for the talk.

It was while Sissy was walking away that Ruthie realized Martin must have believed her little play acting too. No wonder he thought she owed him an apology…she did.

Ruthie jumped quickly off the stairs and headed out to look for Martin.

Down at the lake Martin sat on the boat dock with his bare feet dangling in the water watching some campers water-skiing, he loved this lake and would miss it when he could no longer come here he realized.

Camp Foothill was so far removed from his regular life back home.

And his regular life thought Martin was so far removed from everything the Camden's had wanted for him…so far from what God wanted for him.

And maybe now he decided it was time to make things right.

Martin knew that living with Lily was a sin, but he had kept up his religious pursuits and attended church regularly in hopes God would know that he still believed in him even if he was acting somewhat like a defiant child.

Suddenly filled with regret for the life he had been living Martin bowed his head in silent prayer, asking for a sign to show him that letting go of Lily was the right thing to do.

And there she was, his beautiful Ruthie sitting right next to him when he opened his eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you." Ruthie said.

"You didn't." said Martin in fact in his mind she was the answer to his prayer.

Ruthie liked how serene Martin looked in this moment and it caused her heart to skip a beat.

"I'm not stalking you…I promise. I came looking for you to tell you that I was sorry." Ruthie said sincerely.

"For what?" asked Martin just happy to have her here beside him.

Ruthie took a deep breath before she started suddenly realizing she had a lot more than Brett to apologize for.

Martin listened attentively as Ruthie laid out her misguided intentions regarding Brett and the flirting but it was her next statement that took him by surprise.

"I want to give you another chance Martin." Admitted Ruthie

Martin held his breath as he waited for her to continue.

"But you have this huge other life that I don't know anything about and it scares me." She confessed.

Martin realized that Ruthie was right, the saga of him and Lily was nearing the end in his mind, but in Ruthie's it had just begun.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know." Promised Martin.

Ruthie realized there were things she needed to know, things she wanted to know and things she'd rather not know, so she phrased her questions carefully.

"Do you love her? " Inquired Ruthie.

Martin hadn't expected Ruthie to cut right to the heart of the matter but he was prepared none the less as he himself had spent frequent nights thinking about this very thing.

" I do." Started Martin cautiously. "But not like your thinking." He promised.

"Lily has been great to me and for me, but I set up this life with her that was doomed to fail eventually." Admitted Martin.

"I never thought of Lily as my forever and I think she knew that." Said Martin.

"Did you ever tell her that?" asked a curious Ruthie.

Martin thought about the many arguments that he and Lily had had over his inability to promise her a future and he sighed. It was painful to remember how many times she had stayed with him in the hopes of him becoming a better man.

What Martin realized now was that it was Ruthie and the thought of someday seeing her again that had caused him to shut-down at the thought of giving Lily her dream of a happily ever after with him.

'Lily and I bonded over broken hearts. Her fiancé of three years had just broken up with her and I was trying to get over you." Martin said with a nostalgic tone.

Ruthie was touched by Martin's honesty, but she couldn't help feeling that morally maybe they were still worlds apart. Unfortunately it was time for the answer.

"I know that you and Lily were living together, were you…."

"Sleeping together?" Yes." Martin said finishing the sentence for Ruthie so she didn't have to.

She hadn't expected him to lie to her, but his bluntness caught Ruthie a little off guard.

"You won't have that with me Martin." Ruthie said concerned. "I made a vow to wait for marriage and I'm going to." she finished a hint of apology in her tone.

"I know that Ruthie…I know that and I'm okay with it." Martin promised.

Ruthie thought back to all the times Ian had tried to make her break that vow and how it had been fairly easy to tell him no, but Martin was different, Martin evoked feelings in her that Ian had never even come close to and he did it with just a few phenomenal kisses.

Ruthie believed Martin when he said he would wait for her and she loved him for that.

Why then was one of her dads famous mantra's floating around in her head?

"If you remove the temptation, you remove the sin, if you hang on to the temptation, you invite the sin in."

"What are you thinking Ruthie?" asked Martin

"I'm thinking you're a pretty amazing guy and you have no idea what you just promised" admitted Ruthie truthfully.

Looking into Ruthie's eyes Martin knew that he could do this if it meant spending the rest of his life with her.

He would fight the urges; he would be morally strong for her.

But now was the time to be strong for Lily, he owed her that.

"I so want to kiss you right now...but I'm not going to."

Ruthie couldn't help but be a little disappointed. But she knew, instinctively even before he said it she understood and she admired him for it.

"I have to end things with Lily first, I owe her that. I hope you understand" Said Martin.

Ruthie leaned in and gave Martin a hug, whispering ever so lightly in his ear "I do."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Promise of a Kiss

Author: Juana

Rating: M

The pert brunette opened her cell phone and dialed the familiar number one last time before heading into her meeting, unable to hide her disappointment as she got his voice mail yet again.

Coming from around the corner Jessica spied her friend on the phone and hurried over to her.

"Lily we've only got like two minutes before the meeting starts" informed her co-worker and friend.

Reluctantly Lily closed her cell phone and put it back into the pocket of her jacket.

Jessica took in her friend's forlorn look and out of concern asked "Did you and Martin have a fight?"

"I wish…a fight I could handle." bemoaned Lily.

Jessica looked at her friend and then quickly at her watch weighing her options. "You know I care about your personal trauma sweetie…I do, but if we don't get our butts into that meeting in the next sixty seconds we can kiss our jobs goodbye." She reminded Lily.

Lily knew that Jessica was right their boss Mr. Bender was not one for tardiness no matter what the excuse, so she got up straightening her skirt over her slim figure "Right behind you." She said putting on a brave face.

"We'll grab drinks after work and you can pour your heart out." Jessica promised.

"Thanks. Lily said giving her friend a sincere smile.

As Martin sat on a bench waiting for Ruthie his cell phone vibrated signaling a missed call and reluctantly he opened it up to see the number.

It was Lily…again.

He hated avoiding her calls but he didn't know what else to do, because he knew if he talked to her she would know instantly that something wasn't right, not that avoiding her multiple daily calls wasn't raising any red flags though.

He was in a tough, tough spot and it was really only Ruthie who was keeping him sane.

Ruthie who at that moment was trying desperately to break away from her group, to get to Martin who she had promised she would meet at the walking trail, but unfortunately Brett was being particularly attentive to Ruthie making it nearly impossible.

She hated lying but something told her if she didn't she would be stuck here forever and she didn't want to stand up Martin.

Suddenly without warning Ruthie dropped to the ground grabbing her ankle.

"Ow!" Ruthie said dramatically.

Brett was instantly by her side, bending down to feel her ankle.

"I'm sorry. I must have tripped on a rock or something." Ruthie apologized.

Brett continued to inspect Ruthie's ankle for any swelling or protruding bones.

"It looks okay, can you walk on it?" Brett asked, with what could be a hint of concern in his voice.

"I think so yeah… but I think to be safe I'll just head back to my cabin and lie down and give it a chance to rest." Ruthie informed him.

"I'll walk you back." Brett said his tone overly friendly and definitely suggestive.

This was so not going according to her plan, not even close. She knew she could kiss any chance of seeing Martin good-bye if Brett continued to leech on to her.

Unfortunately Ruthie didn't see any way around his offer.

Martin looked at his watch yet again wondering what could have happened to Ruthie, a part of him wanted to go and find her but the other part of him was afraid if he left their designated meeting spot he would miss her.

Five more minutes he decided, he would give her five more minutes to get there and then he was going to look for her.

Ruthie stood in front of her cabin with Brett trying to will him away but he just kept sticking around.

She decided to try again.

"Okay…well thanks for walking me back Brett. I guess I'll see you around." Ruthie finished.

Brett looked at Ruthie and gave her a smirk. It was cool with him if she wanted to play coy, he liked the chase, it made the conquest that much sweeter.

"I could help you in." Brett said with a suggestive tone.

Okay, Ruthie was now going to be physically sick to her stomach, he needed to go and he needed to do it now.

"No…I'm good. You can go now." Ruthie volunteered.

"Sure you don't want me to stay?" said Brett leaning in closer.

Ruthie stepped back involuntarily at the thought of Brett's kisses and in doing so landed bottom first on the cabin steps giving her virtually no where to go as Brett sat down quickly beside her.

"See…now this is cozy, just you and me." Brett said confident that Ruthie felt the same way.

As Brett inched closer to Ruthie she inched away.

"I should probably tell you I like the chase." Brett informed her.

Ruthie had had enough, time to cut the cord of delusion.

"And I should probably tell you I find you repulsive. " Ruthie spat out more than a little annoyed now with Brett's inability to take "no" for an answer.

"Get real. You've been eyeing me since you got here." Brett said trying to salvage his pride.

Seriously this guy was getting on her last nerve.

"I'm going to make this really easy for you Brett. I don't like you." Ruthie said trying to make him understand.

"You just need to get to know me better and I have an excellent way to make that happen." Brett said as he started leaning in again preparing to kiss her.

Was he for real?

Without a moment's hesitation Ruthie put her hand out to stop him.

"Seriously?"

"I'm sorry Brett but I can't dumb it down for you any more." I'm not interested. Okay?" Ruthie said pulling no punches at this point.

Brett finally stood up but instead of just walking away as she had hoped he turned back around to Ruthie.

"Just one date…one date and then if you don't want to do this I'll disappear." Brett promised.

Ruthie was fully prepared to give Brett another kiss off but she didn't get the chance as Martin came striding up, his anger evident.

"How about you just disappear now and you get to leave without a broken nose?" offered Martin as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

Brett was shocked to see Martin standing there, but even more annoyed that he was killing his action.

"This is a private conversation Brewer." Brett said his annoyance obvious.

Ruthie didn't know what to think at this point, she was flattered that Martin wanted to defend her but a little defensive that he didn't think she could handle a slug like Brett on her own.

Getting up off the cabin steps Ruthie went to stand between Martin and Brett as they tried to stare each other down.

"Let me handle this Martin." Ruthie ordered.

"Yeah Brewer, let the lady make up her own mind why don't ya?" Brett said a smug look on his face.

Martin looked at Ruthie and the determined stance she had taken between him and Brett before answering.

"Go ahead."

"Thank you." Ruthie said before turning to Brett with a mission.

"Listen Brett, I suppose way deep down you could be a nice guy if you tried, but I'm not interested…not even a little bit. I want you to go away and I want you to stay away from me. Do you understand?" Ruthie said talking slowly as if to an infant.

"So you're saying you're not interested?" Brett said dumbfounded.

"Exactly." Ruthie said glad this was finally clarified.

"Well I think it's your loss." Brett said trying to salvage some pride before turning on Martin determined to have the last word.

"I don't know what your deal is Brewer but I could kick your ass anytime, any place." Brett finished before turning to walk away.

Martin watched Brett walked down the hill and out of ear shot before turning back to Ruthie.

"So tell me now why you blew me off to hang out with Bozo the clown?" Martin said clearly needing to know.

Ruthie giggled at the expression on Martin's face; he was with out a doubt disturbed by finding Brett at the cabin with her.

Reaching out Ruthie took Martin's hand into hers.

"You don't have to be jealous of Brett. He in no way appeals to me." Ruthie said trying to reassure him.

"I'm not jealous of Brett. I don't like him, I think he pretty much sucks, but I'm not jealous." Martin said a little less than convincingly.

"Fine, you're not jealous and that's good, because you have no reason to be." Ruthie stated.

Martin knew he wasn't being honest with himself or Ruthie but his life just felt so tumultuous lately he didn't need Brett complicating things even further.

"Okay…I'm sorry…I just…I wanted to talk to you and when I got here and he was here it kind of bugged me.

Smiling Ruthie explained to Martin in detail the lengths she had gone to try and meet up with him and how Brett had foiled her plans.

Martin laughed at the thought of Ruthie faking an ankle injury to get away from Brett.

God she loved his laugh, it was so sexy and deep, it sent tingles running up and down her spine.

Once again Martin was amazed at how easily Ruthie could dispel his fears and make things seem okay.

Needing her closer Martin sat down on the cabin steps and pulled Ruthie down to sit in his lap. She loved the way it felt being in his arms and he loved having her there, reaching up he lovingly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear to allow him closer access.

"I'm crazy for you Ruthie Camden." Martin whispered into her ear his warm breath on her skin causing her stomach to do flip-flops.

Both of them knew that it was moments like this that made their "no kissing" pact pure torture but the only other option would be avoiding each other and neither of them thought that was necessary.

They could control themselves.

Or could they?

As they sat there their faces inches apart the chemistry was palpable. It had been an incredible thing for both Martin and Ruthie to discover that the promise of a kiss was more of an aphrodisiac than they could have imagined.

And right now sitting in Martin's lap staring into his gorgeous passion filled eyes Ruthie thought back to their first non-kiss experience on the boat dock.

Martin had just told her that he wanted to kiss her but wasn't going to, but his look of lust and wanting had lingered firing up all the nerves in her body and his.

And without the kissing their conversations had taken on more intimate tones and their level of communication had vastly improved.

Martin had never felt as close to anyone as he felt to Ruthie these past few days. He was a man without secrets anymore and it felt liberating.

Suddenly Martin's phone began to ring and a look of tension crossed his face, a look Ruthie did not miss.

"Aren't you going to get that? " Ruthie asked.

Okay well…maybe he still had one secret, he hadn't told Ruthie about Lily's hourly phone calls, but knowing Ruthie she had already figured it out.

"Is that her? " Ruthie said a little concerned.

Martin would never understand how Ruthie was always right there on the same page with him even when he did his best to keep her one step behind to avoid hurting her.

"Yeah…probably" Martin added.

Ruthie knew Martin didn't want to break up with Lily on the phone and she respected that, but it confused her why he didn't want to talk to her at all.

"You should get it." Ruthie prodded him.

'And say what?" Martin Inquired.

"Hi, how are you? What have you been up to? Because inevitably that will lead to her asking me the same questions and then what am I suppose to say that wouldn't be a lie?" Martin really wanted to know.

Confused at to what he should really do Martin found himself picking up the phone.

"Hello?" Martin said clearly hoping this was going to be anyone but Lily.

No such luck.

"Martin?" Lily said clearly surprised after days of no contact with him.

Martin took a deep breath to try and ease his nerves, he didn't know what he had expected to feel when he heard Lily's voice again after all that had happened but the remorse and guilt he felt seemed pretty appropriate.

Awkwardly he moved Ruthie off his lap as he stood up to continue the call.

"Yeah…hi Lil. What's up?" Martin said trying to sound normal.

Lil? He called her Lil? Ruthie had been taught by her father that shortening a person's name was a term of endearment but she had refused to let him do it to her insisting she never wanted to be called Ruth or Ru for that matter.

But here was Martin doing it to Lily's name.

And the affection that Ruthie heard in Martin's voice was almost too much for her to take, until today Lily had been this faceless name that was connected to Martin but in such a distant and unrecognizable way.

Martin didn't want to have a conversation with Lily right here in front of Ruthie,

He had spent fourteen months of his life with Lily and there was a connection there, a connection that whatever their relationship status was it would always remain.

A connection he hoped Ruthie would understand given time.

Lily had done so much for Martin and he just needed for her to not hate him when she learned the truth about him and Ruthie.

When you spend a lot of time with someone you can't help but get to know them and Lily knew Martin better than almost anyone in his life right now.

And Lily could sense the tension in Martin's voice and even though this time he had picked up the phone she knew that he hadn't wanted to and she wanted to know why.

"What's up? Are you serious Martin?" Lily said in disbelief.

"I've been calling you every day and you are clearly avoiding me, so why don't you tell me what's up?" Lily finished glad for finally having the chance to speak her mind.

Martin knew he was in deeper than he wanted to be at this point and he tried to back pedal.

"I'm sorry I've missed your calls. I've been having a cell phone issue." Martin said lying through his teeth.

Clearly Martin wasn't being completely honest but in two days he would be home for the weekend and they could solve whatever was eating away at him and then spend the rest of the weekend making up Lily decided.

"Cell phone issue?" Lily said a little relieved but still skeptical.

"Yeah…the reception up here can really suck sometimes." Martin volunteered a little too eagerly.

Listening to Martin talking to and out right lying to Lily was affecting Ruthie more than she cared to admit but it was the next thing he said that sent her over into the edge of uncertainty.

Lily had just told Martin she loved him and it was clearly his expected response to say it back, so why was he hesitating she wondered.

What was he suppose to do now if he didn't say I love you back Lily would know something was up and would be out to Foothill to confront him before dinner. On the other hand he certainly didn't want Ruthie to have to hear him saying it to Lily either.

Once again Martin was between a rock and a hard place.

But he needed to believe that Ruthie would understand.

"I love you too." Martin said quietly into the phone.

"And I'll see you this weekend" he promised.

Martin closed his phone and walked back over to sit next to Ruthie.

"Are you okay?" Martin asked Ruthie.

Ruthie knew she was anything but okay at this point but she also knew there was really nothing Martin could do about it at this point.

He had already promised to break it off with Lily all he had asked for was the ability to do it face to face instead of over the phone.

And Ruthie really wanted to be the bigger person about this but her hurt overrode her will to be civil.

"You told her that you love her and you meant it." Ruthie said as if in pain.

"I do love her Ruthie. But I'm _in love_ with you, that's the difference." Martin reminded her.

"You called her Lil." Ruthie said on the verge of tears now.

"Why does that matter?" Martin said clearly confused.

"It just does." Ruthie told him unwilling to elaborate.

Martin took Ruthie into his arms and she began to sob lightly into his chest.

"It's just a couple more days Ruthie; please hang in there with me." Pleaded Martin.

Ruthie turned her head up to look at Martin and he began to wipe her tears away with his thumb.

"Couple more days Ruthie we can do this…okay?" Martin wanted her to nod yes, say okay…anything but continue to cry.

He needed her to stop crying, it tore his heart out to watch her hurting like this and to know that he was the one causing her pain.

Later that night Ruthie stood in front of the pool waiting for what she wasn't sure, the cryptic note she had in her hands had said simply "pool, midnight, we need to have this time together."

She was certain when she got the note that it was from Martin, but now as she stood here in her shorts and bathing suit top she began to be a little afraid that she might have miscalculated who she would be meeting here.

Thankfully the arms that came around her waist in surprise were the same strong, muscular ones she knew all too well and she sighed with relief before turning slowly around to face him.

"What are we doing here?" Ruthie whispered.

"Midnight swim." Martin said grinning.

"We could get caught." Ruthie said nervously.

"I don't think I've ever seen you back down from a challenge." Martin said surprised.

The truth of the matter wasn't that Ruthie was really afraid of being caught but of being alone with him.

Not that she didn't trust Martin, she trusted him with her life.

Martin quickly scaled the pool gate and unlocked it from the other side so Ruthie could enter and she walked in without being told.

Silently Martin and Ruthie stripped down to just their suits before getting into the freezing water.

When Ruthie tried to enter slowly Martin put his leg behind hers causing her knees to buckle and send her into the water, from which she came up sputtering.

"Oh it's on Brewer." Ruthie promised with retaliation on her mind.

For the next hour Ruthie and Martin swam with each other and play fought alternately dunking or being dunked under the water.

Finally exhausted Ruthie swam to the edge of the pool where Martin joined her taking her into his arms.

"Had enough Camden?" Martin asked breathing heavily.

"For the moment." Ruthie said a playful tone in her voice.

Martin couldn't remember when he'd had so much fun with a girl when sex wasn't involved.

Not that he didn't want to have sex with Ruthie, he did. He just already knew that he couldn't so it alleviated the pressure of the whole will she or won't she game.

Looking at Ruthie as she stood there soaking wet in his arms Martin couldn't believe that she was actually his.

It still seemed a little surreal to him how the dream he had let die after leaving Glen Oak had suddenly been rekindled and it was pretty near perfect now.

Ruthie Camden was his girlfriend or at least she would be as soon as he ended things with Lily.

Then the dream would be perfect, perfect and real.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Truth is the Equalizer

Author: Juana

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I own none of the CW characters in this story and use them only for entertainment purposes.

After tossing his overnight bag into his car Martin shut the door and turned to face Ruthie.

Today was going to be a big day for both of them, he was on his way to end things with Lily and Ruthie was minutes away from making a phone call to tell Ian that they were over.

"So, good luck today." Martin said as he brought Ruthie into his arms for a hug.

Ruthie returned the hug before stepping back from him.

"It's going to be fine. " Ruthie promised him not exactly sure she believed it.

Martin really just wanted to breathe again without the feeling that he was about to shatter someone's world.

He knew instinctively that this meeting with Lily was not going to end well but he was even more concerned that Ian wasn't going to just let Ruthie go without protest.

From everything Mac had told him about Ian, he really was into Ruthie, maybe even loved her, and that meant that Ian wouldn't be happy and would most likely put up a fight.

But who could blame him thought Martin; now that he was with Ruthie he was certainly going to do his best to hang on to her and yeah…he would take down any guy who tried to get her away from him.

Unable to stall the inevitable any longer Martin gave Ruthie one last final hug.

"I should get going." He admitted reluctantly.

Ruthie didn't really want to let go of him but she knew and was comforted by the fact that when he got back they would be together.

Stepping back Martin opened his car door and after getting in turned to face Ruthie.

"If you need to talk to me, you can call me. Martin offered.

Ruthie loved him for worrying about her when he had so much to deal with on his own, so she tried once again to reassure him.

"Ian and I weren't that serious. I give him a week and then he'll be completely over me." Ruthie said confidently.

Deep in his gut Martin knew that wasn't the truth, but he let Ruthie believe it, knowing that the truth would only make what she was about to do that much harder.

The entire last week had been about respecting Lily and even Ian by curtailing the kisses while they were still technically with other people, but they both felt it in that moment as they said their goodbyes, the need to be closer.

Leaning in to Martin's car window Ruthie put her hands on his face and brought her lips down to meet his in a slow, deliberate kiss and the connection was electric and fortifying to both their souls.

It was the courage they both needed to go forward and Martin smiled as he started the car and pulled her close once again for one last kiss.

"Thank you for that." He said his sincerity evident.

Ruthie couldn't contain the smile on her face as she watched Martin driving away and remembered the feel of his lips on hers.

Kissing Martin was never going to grow old for Ruthie she was sure of it.

Ian hated waiting for anything, it wasn't in his nature, he was a "go for it' kind of guy and he craved the instant gratification of getting what he wanted, when he wanted it.

He couldn't for the life of him figure out how Ruthie had gotten under his skin the way she had, the girl had an incredible amount of willpower and pretty much only the word "no" in her vocabulary.

He was stuck on a virgin and it was killing him.

So many times after trying to move things forward physically and her slamming on the brakes he had left angry and frustrated with her and determined to move on…but he never did.

Not to say he hadn't strayed he had, but he was a guy and he was human and Ruthie wasn't satisfying some very basic needs.

She was juicing him up and then leaving him high and dry, so for that very reason he kept Jane hanging around, but it was Ruthie he wanted and Jane knew that.

And it was Jane who now took pleasure in telling him what an idiot he'd been. He wanted to believe she was lying to him, but his gut told him different.

He had stuck around for twelve months, an entire year of his life, putting up with Ruthie's up tight family and friends and for what? So she could cheat on him!?

Just when things had seemed promising her interfering parents had caught them together and had freaked out, sending her away to some religious camp to think about her actions and the consequences they might have.

Or that's what they had told her anyway, it now appeared they'd had much bigger motives for sending her there.

Martin Brewer, he'd never met him, but he knew everything about him and because of that he didn't like him.

When Ian had first met Ruthie she had been totally wreaked over the guy and he had been her sounding board to get closer to her, not that he had stayed in the friends zone long…he had quickly turned things around and done his best to eliminate any and all thoughts of Martin.

But now according to Jane, Martin was back in Ruthie's life. The Camdens' had made sure of that by sending her to the same camp he worked at during the summer.

Ian glanced out the window of his car at the signage on the side of the road and saw that he was only about twenty miles away from the camp where Ruthie was staying.

If Ruthie was playing around on him he wanted to hear it directly from her, not Jane who was more than a little jaded when it came to Ruthie.

Jane wanted him for herself and Ian didn't think her above lying to get what she wanted.

Ruthie tried dialing Ian's cell again and got yet another busy signal; he had probably let the battery die again or turned it off. Either way Ruthie was out of luck, she couldn't exactly break up with the guy if she couldn't reach him.

As Martin drove towards his apartment his cell began to ring and he quickly reached to pick it up thinking it might be Ruthie.

"Hello?" Martin answered.

"Dude…you are killing me." Mac moaned into the phone.

Martin smiled at Mac's ability to over-react to just about everything.

"What did I do now?" Martin asked curiously.

"Not you…your women. Make a choice man because I am all out of diversionary tactics.' Mac lamented.

Women, did he say women, as in plural? Instantly Martin understood what Mac was alluding to.

"Did Lily call you?" Martin asked concerned.

"Don't act so surprised. Lily is a bright girl and she knows something is going on with you." Mac informed him.

"So she called you?" Martin said a little confused as Lily had really only talked to Mac on the two or three occasions he had come to visit Martin in San Diego. Martin had never brought Lily to Glen Oak for obvious reasons.

"They always call me, its part of the whole being your best friend thing, which by the way has had very little perks but a lot of work connected to it lately." Mac added.

"Sorry. But it should be easier in the future." Martin promised.

"Do tell." Mac added.

Martin was glad that he was finally able to enlighten his best friend on his and Ruthie's status and he couldn't contain his excitement as he explained how at the end of the day they would both be free of their current relationships.

Free to be with each other.

Mac didn't want to be the one to burst Martin's bubble but he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Martin didn't know everything he needed to.

Still it was his silence that prompted Martin to question him rather than his willingness to give out information.

Martin had expected Mac to be excited for him, but his reception at the news of him and Ruthie becoming a couple had been lukewarm at best and that concerned him.

"So not even congratulations?" Martin said.

Mac was having a hard time being the one always in the know, but he was having an even harder time believing that Ruthie hadn't shared this information that was pressing on him with Martin so he plunged ahead.

"I guess I'm just a little surprised is all." Mac said trying to gauge whether his knowledge of Ruthie and her plans was on the same level as Martins.

Now it was Martin's turn to be surprised. Mac had always been a firm supporter of him and Ruthie and had tried to push him in that direction countless times, but now that he'd actually taken that leap Mac seemed less than on board with it.

"Why do I get the impression you know something I don't?" Martin questioned.

"I'm sure you know this." Mac continued.

"I'm just surprised it didn't play a bigger factor in your decision.' He finished.

Martin was starting to get really annoyed with Mac's shifty answers.

"Could you stop talking in circles for like ten seconds Mac and just cough up what ever it is you know? Martin ordered.

"I guess I just thought Lily would be the more logical choice." Mac offered.

"And why would you think that? " Martin asked clearly surprised by Macs admission.

"Well Lily's closer for one." Mac said.

"Glen Oak is only a couple of hours from San Diego." Martin reminded him.

Okay open mouth, insert foot thought Mac. With no way to turn back time Mac went forward pretty sure Martin would be shooting the messenger on this one.

"Okay geography is not my best subject, but I'm still pretty sure it would take you a lot longer to get to Scotland." Mac contributed.

Martin felt his head start to spin.

"Scotland?" Martin said afraid to hear the answer to the question mark hanging in the air.

It couldn't be true, but it had to be because Mac had no reason to lie to Martin as he filled him on the fact that Ruthie had applied for and been accepted to Basil Peterson College in Edinburgh, Scotland and would be leaving at the end of the summer.

After hanging up the phone with Mac Martin started to dial Ruthie's number but then stopped.

He didn't really know what he would say to her, if it was true it didn't change the way he felt.

God he hoped it wasn't true though. because as much as he would want her to change her mind and stay with him, he would never expect her to give up her college plans for him.

In that aspect Mac had been right, even though Lily was seven years older than Martin their lives meshed pretty well and maybe if Ruthie hadn't re-entered the picture he would have eventually settled down with Lily.

But Ruthie had and it had changed things irreversibly for him and Lily.

Ian drove into the camp contemplating what his next move would be. He thought it might be hard for him to blend in but as he parked he saw that no one was really paying any attention to him.

He stopped a group of girls walking by him instantly starting them giggling.

Ian knew he was good looking and had pretty much always used it to his advantage, today was no exception as he charmed the information he needed out of them and headed up the hill to what he now knew was Ruthie's cabin.

Martin grabbed his overnight bag out of his car and flung it over his shoulder before starting the ascent up the stairs to the second floor apartment he shared with Lily.

He was met with an empty apartment and a note from Lily saying she would be home by 6pm and they could start their weekend. She also mentioned that she had put a sandwich in the refrigerator for him knowing he would be hungry after the drive.

Lily really did take care of him.

Although Martin didn't really want to be alone with his thoughts, he didn't really have any choice so he decided to try calling Ruthie again.

Ruthie's cell began ringing just as she finished putting on her bathing suit wrap so she could head down to the pool for a swim.

And she was just about to answer it when someone began to knock on the cabin door.

Quickly she picked up the call as she headed to the door.

All she got out was a quick "hello' before she opened the door to the biggest surprise of her life.

"Ian?" Ruthie said unable to hide her shock.

"No it's Martin." Martin said clearing things up.

Suddenly Ruthie realized it was Martin on the phone and quickly acknowledged him.

"I'm going to have to call you back" Ruthie said more abruptly then she had intended.

"Uh…okay." Martin said as Ruthie hung up without even a goodbye.

Closing her phone Ruthie looked at Ian standing in front of her, Ian was tall like Martin and good looking like Martin, but that was where the similarities ended.

"You don't seem very happy to see a guy who drove a long way to see you." Ian stated.

Ruthie had been fully prepared to say good bye to Ian over the phone but suddenly with him here she was very uncomfortable.

Why was he here anyway? She thought.

Martin sat on the bed trying to put together what had just happened on the call with Ruthie. Why had she called him Ian? And why had she hung up so quickly and kind of coldly?

If he had thought about it longer he might have pieced it together but the sound of a key in the door distracted him.

Lily was home early.

Looking at Ruthie Ian knew instantly that she was more than surprised to she him, she was unprepared to see him.

Damn. Jane had been telling the truth, Ruthie was hooking up with this Martin guy...he was sure of it.

"So aren't you going to invite me in?" Ian asked a hint of bitterness in his tone.

Standing there in her bathing suit and sarong Ruthie suddenly felt a little under dressed so she asked Ian to wait outside while she changed.

Begrudgingly Ian went to sit down on the cabin steps to wait for her.

Once the door was closed Ruthie went immediately for her cell phone and dialed Martin's number.

Martin was just about to greet Lily when his cell phone started ringing on the kitchen counter.

"I should get that." Martin said moving quickly away from her.

"Sure." Lily said a little hurt that Martin thought that answering his cell was more important than reconnecting with his girlfriend after being away from her for two weeks.

Good to see his priorities were in order.

Ruthie pulled on a pair of shorts as she waited impatiently for Martin to answer.

Finally he picked up.

"Hello?" Martin said quickly.

"Martin…I can't really talk too long." Ruthie stated

"Me either." Martin admitted.

"Right…anyway Ian is here." Ruthie started.

It all clicked now for Martin as he remembered his earlier attempt at a phone call with Ruthie. Ian was at the camp in person. Martin didn't really know Ian so he didn't know how worried he should be for Ruthie…but he knew he wasn't happy about him being there.

"Are you okay?" Martin asked unable to hide the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine. I am however bummed that I have to do this in person. I'm horrible at breaking up with people." Ruthie finished.

"I remember" Martin said a bit nostalgic as he thought of Ruthie and the various failed break up attempts he had witnessed when he had lived with the Camdens.

Although she'd never had a hard time telling him to leave he thought.

Martin wanted to ask Ruthie if she needed him to come home but he knew if he left now he would still have unfinished business with Lily and she would be the next one to show up at Foothill wanting answers.

"I just wanted you to know." Ruthie added.

"Thanks. I appreciate it and I'll talk to you later. " Martin said before hanging up.

And he did appreciate the honesty but now his mind was swimming with thoughts of Ruthie with Ian and he could have done without that messing with his mind.

Martin sat down on the couch after ending his phone call with Ruthie and Lily came quickly to sit beside him. Turning to Lily Martin knew the time had come to end things with her.

Lily saw it in his eyes before the words were out of his mouth. But the actual words hurt equally like a knife to her heart.

"I don't want to be in this relationship any longer Lily. I'm sorry." Martin admitted.

Lily was a smart enough girl to know relationships didn't just end, there was always a reason and she needed to know Martin's.

"Are you unhappy with us?" Lily questioned.

Martin hated hurting Lily like this but he questioned whether knowing the full truth was going to help her understand any better.

But what had happened was completely out of her control and she needed to know that.

"No…you've been great. You are great and some guy somewhere is going to be so lucky to have you love him." Martin confessed.

"Just not you." Lily said sadly.

So he wasn't unhappy with her or them, which could only mean one other thing.

"Is there someone else, did you meet someone else?" Lily questioned now a little less understanding.

"Yes." Martin admitted not quite ready to spill all the details.

The moment of truth never comes easy, but he hoped when she realized he hadn't just randomly selected someone else to take her place she might be able to understand why he was doing this.

"How could you have?" She said not waiting for his answer.

"You've been at a church camp for two weeks or was that a lie?" Lily demanded.

"I've been nowhere else but Foothill. " Martin promised.

"Then how?" Lily said her voice now beginning to rise. "How could you have met someone else?"

"It's complicated." Martin stated his guilt beginning to surface.

"Then make it uncomplicated for me." Lily said her anger apparent now.

"I ran into someone there…someone I already knew." Martin said trying to ease into it.

"You mean like an old girlfriend?" Lily said confident that if she could get to the bottom of this she would be able to convince Martin that he wasn't being realistic.

You didn't just throw a long term relationship away over a nostalgic fling. And she had already decided that she would forgive him for whatever indiscretion he may have let happen.

Martin could see Lily's mind try and work through it and he'd been with her long enough to know she thought that like every other obstacle they'd had in the relationship this was fixable.

And he knew he'd never get through this if she believed that.

"I ran into Ruthie." Martin confessed.

She couldn't possibly have heard right.

"Ruthie?" Lily gasped.

As if in a time warp Lily's mind traveled back to when she had first met Martin, they had been friends first and had become so because of their shared heartache.

Never one to frequent bars or drown her sorrows in alcohol she had been at her favorite place the "Buttercup Bakery" taking her pain out on a very large slice of chocolate chip cheesecake when he had come in.

As he sat down at the table next to her she could see the wounded look in his eyes and her instinct to nurture had kicked in.

She had only meant to make him feel better but had somehow ended up spilling her entire sordid tale of losing her fiancé to her best friend two weeks before their scheduled wedding and he in turn had shared his heartache over losing the love of his life, a girl named Ruthie.

In the beginning when they had been friends, close friends Martin had told Lily all the details of him and Ruthie and Lily alone knew how important to his happiness Ruthie was.

It was Lily who had been able to help Martin not necessarily get over Ruthie but at least to a point where he was able to go on without her and from there she had been able to replace her.

Or at least she thought so…until today.

"You can't be serious." Lily said still trying to process.

Martin just wanted this to be over he didn't want to fight or have to elaborate on his feelings for Ruthie.

"I know this is unexpected. "Martin started.

"Unexpected?" Lily said angrily. "You left here completely fine and you come back two weeks later ready to end the relationship. Yeah…I'd say that's unexpected!"

"I didn't know this was going to happen!" Martin said his temper starting to spark now.

"Did you know she was going to be there?" Lily asked hoping he would say no.

"Yes, her parents called me." Martin admitted truthfully.

"Then you knew this was going to happen." Lily accused.

For a minute Martin wondered, had he known or at least suspected what might transpire when he and Ruthie were put back together again?

After changing her clothes Ruthie had met Ian outside and they had hugged awkwardly, not exactly the greeting he had expected after such a long absence from each other.

Ruthie was beyond nervous at this point and she felt like Ian must know something or he wouldn't be here. Her only comfort was that she knew some things about him too.

"I uh…I tried to call you." Ruthie said as she sat down on the first step of the cabin.

"Did you?" Ian said unconvinced.

Ruthie didn't know what to say, where to start. Now that Ian was here she was lost as to how to get him out of her life when for so long she'd fought so desperately to keep him in it.

She had braved her parent's disapproval and her friends dislike of him to be with him, it all seemed like such wasted energy now.

Now all she wanted was Martin.

"Yes…I had something I needed to tell you." Ruthie began.

"Let me stop you right there." Ian said interrupting her.

"Okay." Ruthie said unsure why he had stopped her.

Even though Ian had no doubt that Ruthie intended to break up with him, he also had no intention of letting her make a fool of him or of making this easier for her.

"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here." Ian started.

"To see me." Ruthie answered logically.

"Aren't you the confident one, I'm here because my sources tell me you've been a very bad girl." Ian said grabbing on to arm.

"Is it true Ruthie?" Ian asked impatiently waiting for her answer.

What was it her father always said? That truth is an equalizer?

"Does it really matter to you?" Ruthie said pulling her arm out of his grasp.

"You ruined us the minute you slept with Jane." She said the accusation falling from her lips before she could take it back.

Okay so maybe he was a fool, all this time he had thought she was clueless, but why was he surprised Jane definitely had a vested interest in her knowing that little tidbit of info.

"So I guess were even now." Ian said a little relieved as he realized what this had all been about, getting back at him.

It was clear to Ruthie that Ian thought this had all happened as a way to retaliate and that he thought he was home free now.

"I can't believe I even considered sleeping with you to keep you away from Jane." Ruthie admitted more than a little disgusted with her self right now.

"And I can't believe I thought I loved you enough to make it right." Ruthie said her anger starting to mount.

"We've obviously made our mistakes Ruthie, you know I don't care about Jane and whatever you and this Martin dude did…it's cool I can get over it." Ian stated.

Up to this point Ruthie had only suspected that Ian was seeing Jane, now she knew for sure and even though she was angry she was more relieved because it made what she was about to do that much easier.

"We're done Ian." Ruthie said matter of fact.

Ian couldn't believe it he had never been dumped before. She was being crazy and he intended to make sure she knew it.

It seemed like forever before Ian was done reminding her how much Martin had hurt her and how he alone had been there to pick up the pieces. But the more noble Ian tried to sound the more Ruthie started to see through him and simply put, she was done.

"So give us another chance Ruthie." Ian said confident that his speech had swayed her back to his side.

"I love Martin" Ruthie said proudly.

"No you don't." Ian said more sure of this than any thing else in his life.

"I do…I always have and I always will." Ruthie said fully committed to that statement.

Martin sat with his back against the closed bedroom door and weakly knocked. Lily had been in there for over an hour and nothing it seemed was going to get her out.

"Lily, come on let me in." Martin pleaded.

As Lily lay sobbing on the bed she realized she was just stalling the inevitable. Martin wasn't waiting on the other side of the door to fix things with her, he was waiting there to finalize it.

Martin wanted to end their relationship to be with Ruthie and there was nothing she could do to change that.

Realizing the finality of that statement Lily got up and wiped the tears out of her eyes, slowly she got up and went to the door almost sending a surprised Martin to the floor of the room as he started to fall backwards when the door opened.

Before Martin could say anything Lily silenced him with a finger to her lips.

"I'll be gone before the weekend is over." Lily promised.

It was what Martin had wanted but hearing the words and realizing what they meant Martin couldn't help but feel some regret that he had never been able to be the man Lily needed.

"I'm sorry Lil." Martin said with a heavy heart.

"So am I Martin." Lily said through her tears.

"You've been this amazing part of my life and I can't believe it's over."

"But even worse I can't believe it's this easy for you to let me go." Lily finished heaping on the guilt.

Martin reached out for Lily's hand but she quickly pulled it away.

He had never felt like such a jerk in his life. He knew he was giving up a perfectly healthy relationship for one which already had a huge speed bump with the news of Ruthie's possible move to Scotland, but his heart wanted Ruthie and that wasn't going to change.

Lily thought he was being unfair to her but the reality was feeling the way he did about Ruthie staying with Lily would have been the unfair thing to do to all parties involved.

Ruthie watched Ian driving away and a sense of relief washed over her.

It had ended ugly just like she thought it would and she was okay with that, he had cheated on her, lied to her and unfortunately for him fallen for her and to her that was the sweetest revenge. She had Martin and Ian had the broken heart.

Martin lay back on his bed and closed his eyes his thoughts immediately going to Ruthie. If all had gone according to plan she was free of Ian and after a torturous break-up he was done with Lily and after a good night's sleep he would be headed back to Ruthie a free man.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Fairytale Passion

Author: Juana

Rating: M

The one hour drive back to Foot hill seemed to Martin to take a lot longer.

Breaking up with Lily the day before had been a lot more difficult than he had anticipated and he needed to see Ruthie to regroup and realize that he had done the right thing, the only thing…he had followed his heart.

As Ruthie sat in the camp's morning worship service her mind was really anywhere but on the message being delivered at this point as her phone kept vibrating in her pocket. She knew it would be another text message from Ian and she really had nothing left to say to him, but still curious she took out her phone and opened it.

Martin walked into the meeting room and quickly scanned it in search of Ruthie finally he spotted her sitting with some of the girls from her cabin. His instinct was to go and grab the empty spot next to her but he knew he needed to wait, so he leaned patiently up against the wall and tried unsuccessfully not to watch her.

As Ruthie closed her phone back up after reading yet another of Ian's angry messages she had that feeling again, the same one she had had when she exited the bus on her first day at Foothill and she realized instantly that Martin was back.

Turning quickly around she spotted him by the entrance doors watching her and she smiled.

Without hesitation she got up and headed to the back of the room towards him and passed him as she headed out the door silently urging him to follow her. She had waited long enough she wasn't willing to wait any longer.

Martin however waited a discreet amount of time not wanting to arouse any suspicion before he quickly ducked out too.

As he exited through the doors of the building he found her waiting there for him and she quickly jumped up to give him a hug which he readily returned picking her up off the ground in the process.

As he allowed her feet to touch the steps again she looked up at him and the urge to kiss her was incredibly overwhelming, but he knew it wasn't the place.

"We should go somewhere a little more private." Martin suggested.

Ruthie nodded quickly in agreement and taking her hand in his he led her away from the building.

For the first time holding on to Ruthie's hand he let himself enjoy the feeling of their fingers intertwined and their palms touching without the back-up guilt to mar it.

He loved the feel of Ruthie's hand in his and lightly began caressing her fingers with his as they approached his cabin.

Martin walked in first pulling Ruthie in quickly behind him before he closed the door.

Immediately he closed up the space between them as he pulled her possessively into his arms.

It was a day of firsts for them and he wanted this particular moment to be one she would remember.

Ruthie felt like her world was in slow motion as Martin placed his hand softly behind the nape of her neck and leaned down to kiss her.

A kiss Ruthie would not soon forget it had started out slow and sensual but had quickly become explosive as neither party was willing to hold anything back.

All the drama of the past day was forgotten as they lost themselves in each other and their very first kiss together as a couple.

As the kiss ended both Ruthie and Martin felt a sense of relief that it had been so perfect and right.

It cemented even more in their minds how this was the way things were meant to be. They were destined for this moment to happen even though it had been a very long time coming.

"Wow.' Was all Martin could manage to utter at first.

Ruthie giggled lightly at Martin's reaction as he began to recover his senses.

"I don't know who taught you to kiss Ruthie but remind me to send them a thank you card." Martin only half teased.

Smiling and confident Ruthie took Martin's hand in hers and pulled him towards the loveseat to sit with her.

Martin willingly followed her no question that he wanted to be next to her for as long as was humanly possible.

They spent the next hour telling each other about their individual break ups between spontaneous lip-locking sessions.

Martin was more than a little surprised to find out that Ian had been cheating on Ruthie, it made him realize how hard it must have been for her to not only stay with him, but to defend him to her parents as well.

Unfortunately for Ruthie Martin's description of his break up with Lily made her feel about two feet tall. Lily not only sounded like a nice person, someone Ruthie probably would have liked under different circumstances, but Ruthie knew she had been left heartbroken.

And she was the reason.

Martin had left Lily to be with her and she was never going to feel good about that.

Seeing the look on Ruthie's face Martin realized he had probably said too much. He had painted Lily as a saint and he could tell now Ruthie felt like the devil…the other woman…the home wrecker.

"Don't Ruthie. " Martin said cutting off her thoughts. " Lily and I were not going to last forever." Martin said.

Ruthie knew Martin was just trying to make her feel better and she appreciated it but the bottom line was that Lily was the kind of girl you married and a part of Ruthie believed that eventually when he had been ready Martin would have done what he considered the right thing by her and asked Lily to be his wife.

But she had crushed that by coming back into Martin's life and stealing him away. Well technically it had been her parents who had thrust her back into his life but the end result was still the same.

Martin didn't want to lie about Lily or what she meant to him but he was worried that Ruthie wouldn't let go of the guilt he could tell she was feeling so he decided to improvise a little.

"I was already thinking about breaking up with her "You can ask Mac." Martin said making a mental note to make sure to clue Mac in later so he wouldn't blow it if Ruthie ever questioned him.

"You suck at lying Martin." Ruthie said bluntly.

Knowing he'd been busted Martin didn't say anything at first not wanting to commit to another lie. Finally he spoke opting for the truth with the realization that it was a necessity to keep things real between him and Ruthie.

A little ashamed of him self he admitted "I never gave Lily what she really needed Ruthie and that's my full commitment. I was selfish enough to stay with her knowing that she needed more but not selfless enough to give it to her. She wasted a lot of time on me, time she could have spent falling in love with a better guy."

"So what you're saying is she should be thankful I took you away from her before she wasted more of her life on you? " Ruthie said in a shocked tone.

You didn't steal me away…I left of my own free will." Martin reminded her.

" I get that you feel guilty Ruthie I do too." Martin admitted.

"And I hate that I had to hurt my friend to be free of her as a girlfriend. But it was inevitable because my heart wants you…it always has." Martin confessed completely heartfelt.

Ruthie knew the guilt would remain no matter how Martin tried to spin it, but she loved him in that moment for wanting to make her feel better and pulling him to her she kissed him passionately and completely.

It was a healing moment for the both of them and they felt worlds better as they finally came up for air. 

"We should probably get out of here before someone comes looking for us." Martin said wisely.

"Do we have to?" Ruthie questioned as she gazed deeply into Martin's gorgeous eyes.

Martin backed away from Ruthie's attempt at seducing him and gave her a knowing look.

"I am not that easily swayed Ruthie. I can say no to you." Martin said not quite believing it himself as Ruthie reached up and slowly caressed the side of his face.

"One of us has to be the strong one here." Martin said a little weakly his resolve starting to crumble under the feel of her hands and her warm breath close to his lips.

Ruthie's lips were mere inches from Martin's and he was done, he needed the kiss her lips and eyes were silently promising.

"Tell me you want this kiss." Ruthie said continuing to let her lips stay just inches from connecting with Martins.

Okay what kind of game was she playing now Martin wondered? Whatever it was he liked it…she had a knack for heightening the anticipation and thrill of a kiss about to happen.

There was never a dull moment with Ruthie Camden.

But Martin had a few tricks up his sleeve too and was more than willing to test her resistance too.

" Make me." Martin said his voice filled with passion. If Ruthie could hold out so could he.

Ruthie felt Martin to be a worthy opponent, after all just his smile could start her stomach churning with butterflies but never one to surrender easily herself she decided to step up her game and began lightly running her fingers across his torso while continuing to look at him with lidded eyes full of passion and promise.

"Be careful what you wish for Martin." Ruthie said as she nibbled lightly on this bottom lip teasing him with the quick but electric contact.

Damn she was good thought Martin his mind unable to process anything but how much he not only wanted but needed her to deliver this kiss she was so expertly dangling in front of him. Screw it. If she wanted surrender she would have it.

"I will get you back for this later…but right now…I want you to kiss me." Martin said surrendering all of his pride in that moment.

"Wish granted." Ruthie said as she fully delivered on her promise and once again took Martin to heights of excitement he had never experienced with just a kiss before.

The kiss was dangerous and sensual and had the effect of disconnecting his brain from his body as his hands started to wander needing the feel of her body under them.

Ruthie gasped a little at the sudden heat that began to permeate her skin when Martin's strong hands began to caress her exposed stomach.

Never before had Ruthie been so compelled to not do anything but just to feel and enjoy the way he was making her feel and it was both scary and exciting.

It felt too right to be wrong but when Ruthie gasped Martin knew it was and it was like having ice water thrown on him. Quickly he sat up away from her a look of apology on his face.

Neither knew what to say. He knew what he should say…that he was sorry. But was he sorry? Really in that moment the only thing he was sorry about was that he had to stop before they did something they would end up regretting.

Finally Ruthie spoke up.

"I pushed things too far." Ruthie said apologetically.

'Boundaries, we need established boundaries." Martin said trying to clear his mind.

Ruthie knew that Martin was right but she also knew that when Martin's hands had touched her body and started moving across her skin she had wanted him to keep going.

She hadn't said no or pushed his hand away because it didn't feel wrong or sinful, it felt natural and wonderful.

The only certainty right now was that they were in trouble if they didn't figure a way to extinguish the flames before they became a full blown fire.

"We have a problem Ruthie." Martin stated.

I have no problem with respecting you saying no when things go a little too far, the thing is…I didn't get the impression you were going to say no any time soon.

Ruthie blushed a little at Martin's observation.

"I didn't want to." Ruthie admitted sheepishly.

"Now it was Martin's turn to be shocked.

"Please tell me that you're kidding." Martin pleaded.

"I'm sorry, but it didn't feel wrong or like it was too far…it just felt good." Ruthie confessed honestly.

Martin got up from the couch now needing the distance.

As Ruthie started to get up he motioned for her to sit back down and he went to take the chair across from her carefully weighing his next words before he spoke.

"Everything feels like its on fast forward with you Ruthie and it scares me." Martin confessed.

It all rang true to Ruthie but this was a new experience for her feeling this passionately about someone.

"So what's the solution?" Ruthie inquired somewhat cautiously.

"I don't know." He admitted honestly. "I've never had this kind of chemistry with any other girl I've dated."

Ruthie was thrilled to hear that but smart enough to realize the ramifications of his confession too.

"I want to believe that everything will be okay…but that seems a bit optimistic when all I can think about is you and how amazing being with you makes me feel." Martin lamented shamefully.

Ruthie knew she should speak up and say something as she listened to Martin talking himself out of their relationship before it had even really begun.

"I think that we should be thankful for the passion that we share and just take it one day at a time Martin." Ruthie said trying to put a positive spin on things.

"Right…one day at a time." Martin mimicked still trying to process.

"We would be naïve to think we could have a relationship with no temptation at all." Ruthie offered.

Martin couldn't help but think Ruthie was looking at a much smaller picture than him when all he could think about was how was he was going to make it through their college years when he wasn't even sure he could make it through the week.

Sex was going to be a big issue for them he could tell that now beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Suddenly her being thousands of miles away in Scotland seemed more like a solution than a problem.

But he didn't really want that…he wanted her here with him.

It was because he was still searching for answers that Martin phoned Mac later that day for reinforcements.

Impatiently waiting through ring after ring for him to pick up he was disappointed when the answering machine came on.

"You've reached the home of Mac and Margaret and oh yeah sometimes Jane when she has no better place to go…leave a message after the beep."

As the answering machine beeped Martin toyed with just hanging up but he decided belated advice was better than nothing.

"Mac its Martin call me as soon as you get this mess…"

Suddenly Mac picked up cutting Martin off.

"Hey man…I'm here what's up?" Mac asked.

For the next few minutes Mac listened intently to Martin explaining everything that was going on with Ruthie before finally speaking up.

"Okay that doesn't really sound like much of a problem to me man." Mac said a little envious.

"It's Ruthie Mac." Martin reminded him.

"Yeah…and?" Mac asked waiting for Martin to fill in the problem.

"You are zero help…zero." Martin commented annoyed.

" I get the feeling I'm not exactly telling you what you want to hear." Mac said.

"Really what gave you that impression?" Martin commented sarcastically.

"Okay look…I'm not exactly a sage or anything but this is what I've got…follow Ruthie's lead she's not going to do anything she doesn't want to." Mac advised.

" Did I mention that you are no help?" Martin repeated.

" I gave you what I had man, do with it what you will." Mac stated.

"I called you because I thought you could help me out with some advice on how you and Margaret are handling this situation." Martin admitted a little defeated now.

"Right…me and Mags…um…about that…there is something I've been meaning to tell you…we might have decided not to wait." Mac confessed.

"Might have?" Martin questioned.

"Okay…didn't wait." Mac finished relieved to have finally told someone.

"You slept with Margaret?" Martin said in complete shock.

"Guilty." Mac admitted.

That was way more information that Martin needed or wanted.

"I should have called Kevin." Martin suddenly realized.

" Oh yeah…right. He and Lucy waited didn't they?" Mac said part question, part statement.

" Yes…of course they did." Martin said defensively.

Or at least he hoped they did. Martin didn't think he could take another surprise like Macs.

All Ruthie had ever wanted out of life was the fairytale guy, her prince charming on a white horse to sweep her off her feet and away to his palace.

Martin was her prince charming and if you stretched the imagination his SUV was white and had horsepower but that wasn't the problem, the problem was the part of the fairytale Ruthie had been too young to understand.

No one ever told you what happened to Cinderella after she followed Prince Charming into the castle.

No one ever mentioned that passion such as the fairytale characters shared was preceded by the one thing fairytales never talked about…sex.

It seemed really wrong to give two people such an explosive connection and then tell them they had to wait years to light the fuse.

She understood all too clearly now why Lucy and Mary had married young and why Matt had needed only one date to decide to Marry Sarah…sex.

And Ruthie knew she had only scratched the surface with Martin and that amazed her.

She had gone farther with Ian, but always with the intention of saying "no" when things got too heavy.

Never questioning why premarital sex was a sin…now she questioned it. Now she wanted the answer. And she could only think of one person who could ferret out the biblical answers for her…Lucy.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Power of Prayer

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: The characters in this story for the most part do not belong to me but are the property of the CW network.

It was already Tuesday by the time Ruthie got up the nerve to call Lucy and several things ran through her mind as she dialed her sisters number the foremost being if she clued Lucy into what was happening between her and Martin would it become the hot topic in the next Camden family gossip circle or would Lucy be able to keep her mouth shut?

Ruthie really needed her to do the later and that's what she was silently praying for as she listened to the phone ring again and again.

In the Kinkirk household Lucy was up to her eyeballs in oatmeal when her cell phone began to ring and she quickly made up her mind to ignore it in favor of cleaning up after her son Noah a decision that was unfortunately overridden when her husband Kevin came out into the kitchen and picked it up to check the caller id.

"It's Ruthie" Kevin informed her holding the cell out to her to take.

Lucy gave Kevin her best exasperated expression. "I'm kind of busy here hon…think maybe you could take it for me?" Lucy said the beginning of annoyance in her tone.

Ever the gracious husband Kevin was just about to comply with Lucy's thinly veiled request when his cell phone started ringing too. Quickly he looked at the caller id.

"I don't recognize the number." Kevin said looking at Lucy.

Now more than a little frustrated with Kevin Lucy wiped the oatmeal off her hands and took her cell phone from him.

"Hello?" Lucy said the annoyance clearly obvious in her voice.

"Hey Luc…it's me." Ruthie said still unsure whether she should be calling or not.

"Hey Ruthie what's up?" Lucy asked still somewhat distracted by the mess Noah had made.

"Tell her I said hi." Kevin said while still ignoring the ring of his own cell phone.

"Could you hold on a second Ruthie?" Lucy said not waiting for an answer as she quickly put the phone down and barked at Kevin. "Could you maybe get that so it will stop that ringing?"

Kevin smirked at Lucy…he lived to annoy her because the fights led to the making up later and he loved the making up.

"I'll just get this in the other room" Kevin added quickly leaving the room and the beginning of Lucy's wrath.

"Speak" Kevin said picking up the caller as he moved into the other room the short staccato greeting very in character for him.

Martin hesitated as his doubts started to surface. Did her really want the Kinkirks' knowing his business? After all knowledge gave people leverage to manipulate you to their way of thinking and he didn't necessarily want to be manipulated…just advised.

"Hey Kevin…it's Martin." He finally said speaking up.

Kevin backtracked into the kitchen and mouthed to Lucy "It's Martin."

In a complete turn around Ruthie now had her sister's full attention as Lucy began to suspect the reason behind Ruthie's call could be none other than Martin Brewer and the reason she knew this was because her dad had come to her for advice on what to do about Ruthie after finding her in what he only described as a compromising position with her boyfriend Ian.

With free flowing pie and talk Lucy and her dad had come up with a plan to save Ruthie.

Actually it was Lucy who had suggested the Martin intervention but her dad had seized at it like it was the Holy Grail.

The Camdens' as a whole adored Martin and had kept in touch with him on a fairly regular basis since his exodus from Glen Oak…everyone but Ruthie that is. Ruthie had systematically erased Martin from her life and memory but she hadn't fooled anyone least of all Lucy.

Lucy knew that Martin leaving had shattered Ruthie to the point where she had refused to let him back in and had instead tried to pretend that he had been merely an insignificant relationship in her life.

She had suggested bringing Martin back into Ruthie's life because she knew he alone had the power to make Ian nothing but a bad memory.

"How's camp?" Lucy said nonchalant.

"It's fine…I'm fine." Ruthie said trying to get the niceties out of the way so she could get down to her real reason for calling.

As politely as possible Ruthie did the whole Kevin, Savannah and Noah rundown before finally plunging in after finding out that everyone was doing well, Noah had four teeth, Savannah was a handful as was Kevin…etc…etc.

"I need your expertise Lucy." Ruthie finally said when she was sure she had covered the family quota of caring.

Lucy could not have been more thrilled that Ruthie was coming to her for love advice and she was ready…or so she thought.

The next few minutes were the most excruciating of her life as Lucy listened to her baby sister talk about Martin in much more adult terms then she would have thought Ruthie capable of.

"So what do you think?" Ruthie finally asked really needing an answer or at least to be pointed in the direction of one.

Lucy was still reeling from shock and the realization that Ruthie wasn't looking for love advice. Ruthie was looking for a loop hole on the issue of sex before marriage. Her baby sister wanted to sleep with Martin…she was going to kill him or at the very least Kevin would when Lucy told him.

Her sister's silence was telling to Ruthie, clearly she had underestimated Lucy's ability to remain non-judgmental where she was concerned.

"So any thoughts on this subject Lucy?" Ruthie prompted.

Realizing the time to speak was now or never Lucy finally did.

"You can't sleep with Martin Ruthie you made a vow." Lucy reminded her.

"I was nine." Ruthie countered. "

"I promised abstinence when I thought it meant I would get to miss school and who doesn't want to skip school at nine?" Ruthie asked.

"That's an absence not abstinence." Lucy offered.

"Yeah…I know that now." Ruthie said annoyed.

"And that's my point shouldn't I now as an adult with a much wider grasp of word definitions be able to make a decision whether or not I choose to renew that vow." Ruthie reasoned.

Lucy knew where Ruthie was coming from because she had been there…being with Kevin when she hadn't been able to actually "be" with Kevin had just about sent her over the deep end.

And she knew it had been equally as hard on Kevin if not more so having already been down that road with other women…he knew what he was missing.

"Ruthie I know what you're going through right now and how hard it is to wait especially when the connection is really there…so on that subject I can sympathize." Lucy offered reluctantly.

'But if you're looking for my expertise on the biblical side I have to tell you that it's a sin of sexual immorality." Lucy said a little preachy.

"But God would forgive me right?" Ruthie questioned logically still looking for that loophole.

"It doesn't work that way Ruthie you don't knowingly sin and then ask to be forgiven…that's just manipulating the rules." Lucy said a little concerned with her sister's defiant streak.

"So you and Kevin never even got close to breaking your celibacy vow before marriage? Ruthie inquired quickly reading Lucy's silence for what it was…a hesitancy to answer.

"I knew it! You and Kevin really aren't the sexual saints you paint yourself out to be." Ruthie said accusingly.

Now it was Lucy's turn to be backed up against a wall of indecision, should she tell Ruthie the truth and risk sending the wrong message or stick to her guns and push her down the more morally safe road?

Maybe a little of both was the answer here.

"I am only telling you this for your own good Ruthie because frankly it's none of your business…but yes…Kevin and I had a few rough patches when it came to the whole "waiting" issue…but ultimately we decided it was too important to me to justify breaking my vow for a night we'd probably both regret later" Lucy said trying to make a point.

Martin had thought having this whole conversation with Kevin would be harder but Kevin was actually a pretty cool guy and thanks to his marriage to Lucy knowledgeable in the passionate ways of a Camden woman.

"I can't tell you how many times I had to "talk her down." Kevin offered.

"I think that the Camden women as a whole are passionate by nature and I'm not going to sugar coat if for you Martin…it was exhausting at times and there were times when I thought I might give in. But now looking back…I'm glad we waited…Lucy was worth the wait." Kevin said a huge smile on his face.

Martin completely understood what Kevin was saying and he felt that he had found a kindred spirit in him.

"So I can call you anytime?" Martin asked.

"Any time day or night when Ruthie refuses to take "no" for an answer…I'm here for you buddy. I feel your pain." Kevin said only half joking.

Ruthie had hoped to feel better after talking to her sister but instead just felt more confused and completely convinced that Lucy was in full protection mode and incapable of being honest with her.

Martin on the other hand felt worlds better. Kevin had been nothing but honest with him and now he knew that his situation was not an uncommon one when you had a Camden woman in your life.

The next morning wasn't Martin's official day off but he had given up his usual Saturday off to take it and unbeknownst to the camp director he wouldn't be taking it alone.

Martin felt a little silly as he quickly and covertly snuck Ruthie into the backseat of his car closing the door behind her but he knew if he got caught taking her out of camp with him he would definitely not be coming back to Foothill next summer.

Having done their best to avoid detection Martin was surprised when in the process of walking around to the driver's side of his car he almost ran right into the camp director.

"Martin I see you're headed out early today." Director Leroy said.

Martin was now more than a little nervous that Leroy would bust him for having Ruthie in the backseat of his car clearly intending to leave with her.

"Yes sir. I uh…have some personal business to attend to." Martin said inching closer to his car window to hopefully try and obstruct the director's line of sight.

Ruthie for her part was doing her best to try and blend in with the back seat and remained as still as she could while she quickly pulled Martin's jacket over her head.

"Okay…we'll see you back Thursday then? " Director Leroy questioned.

"Right…mid afternoon." Martin offered.

"You have a safe day off then Martin." Director Leroy said as his parting greeting.

Martin felt his shoulders visibly sag with relief as he watched the director walk away down the hill.

Quickly he got into his car and started it.

"Let's get out of here that was a little too close for me." Martin confessed as Ruthie burst out laughing at the situation.

Martin still wasn't sure this was such a great idea his biggest fear being that someone would figure out Ruthie was missing but according to her she had Christine and Felice running interference for her.

Not to mention Brett had moved on very quickly to her counselor Megan so she was now rarely even around to notice or even care what any of her girls were doing.

So this was definitely doable.

Or at least Martin convinced himself it was doable because he wanted Ruthie with him.

As they drove down the mountain Martin thought Ruthie looked really great today in her cut-off jean shorts which showed off her toned, tanned legs to perfection and he was having a really difficult time keeping his mind on his driving since she had joined him in the front seat.

Finally Martin took his jacket and threw it over her legs.

"Why did you do that?" Ruthie asked.

"I'm not cold." She complained.

"Those things are an accident waiting to happen." Martin said nodding towards her now covered legs.

Ruthie reached over and touched Martin's leg running her hand slowly up it.

"You're incredibly sexy when you're being all gentlemanly." Ruthie told him with a hint of promise in her voice.

Martin loved Ruthie's confident nature it truly was a turn on. He might have control of his brain but Ruthie definitely ruled his body and with just a few light touches she had his full attention.

He had no idea if she understood the power she wielded over him or not, but he suspected that she did as she began lightly massaging the back of his neck and running her fingers through the back of his hair.

It had been a slow, torturous ride for him.

As they arrived in San Diego Ruthie realized where they must be going.

"You're taking me to your apartment?" Ruthie asked a little surprised.

"I thought we could go there and change into our suits and then head down to the beach." Martin offered.

A part of Ruthie wanted to see where Martin lived, but she was actually a little apprehensive to see where he had lived with Lily.

But as they drove into his underground parking garage and he stopped the car she realized he wanted her there and that this was a necessary step for the both of them.

Getting out of the car Martin sensed Ruthie's apprehension and took her hand in his to comfort her. Some how when the two connected on any physical level, even something as small as hand holding, it made everything else seem alright.

Arriving upstairs Martin opened his apartment door and ushered Ruthie inside she liked it instantly, it was cozy and lived in but without too many feminine touches to remind her that he had lived here with a girl.

Martin's reaction however upon seeing the apartment again was shock…Lily had taken everything! The television set that had given him for his birthday no longer graced the TV stand that now stood empty, the toaster and coffee maker were also among the absentee.

He couldn't believe that Lily could be so vindictive taking things they had paid for together or she had given as a gift.

Ruthie realized something was wrong as she saw Martin walk over to the empty television stand.

"Did that use to have a TV on it?" Ruthie inquired.

Martin turned to Ruthie and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm afraid so." Martin said smiling dejectedly at Ruthie. "It's okay though…I'm happy with what I got out of this deal." Martin added quickly.

Ruthie suspected that was because he had yet to take a full inventory as a quick glance around the apartment told her that he had sacrificed a lot more than a television and a few appliances unless he had been living on the bare bones minimum…but she doubted that.

Particularly when he ventured into the bedroom to find the bed missing.

"That was my bed. I paid for it." Martin offered as proof of Lily clearly having lost her mind.

"Why would she take my bed?" "It's not like she couldn't afford a new one." Martin stated his lack of understanding now tinged with mild anger.

Ruthie knew that Lily knew exactly what she was doing and it bothered her to think about how hard it was going to be for Martin to fully extricate Lily from his life when all she clearly wanted to do was hang on.

Martin looked at Ruthie taking in the situation and made a decision.

"I say we hit the beach and forget about this for now." Martin suggested clearly not wanting to drag Ruthie into his Lily drama…he'd deal with her later.

"Sounds good I'll just go change really quick. Ruthie said grabbing her overnight bag and heading into the bathroom with it.

Martin loved the beach it was a huge part of why he'd opted to attend SDSU because San Diego had some of the best beaches around.

Lily had rarely gone to the beach with him preferring museums and plays to sand and surf, but he hadn't really minded too much as it became his haven from his troubles.

He had spent a lot of his beach time thinking about Ruthie and wondering if he would ever see her again.

But now here she was and her face said it all, she loved the beach and the waves and the sand that stuck to you like glue and suddenly Martin knew why he had wanted her to come with him so desperately today…he wanted her to love San Diego like he did.

But it went even deeper than that Martin wanted her to consider San Diego an option in her college path.

He knew it was a little selfish of him to want her to ditch her Scotland plans and he would never tell her to…but he wasn't above showing her the pros of college life in San Diego with him.

It was clear they couldn't live together, but there was nothing saying they couldn't live near each other and that was what he wanted more than anything for Ruthie to live in San Diego where she would be near him.

He wanted to be able to see her when he needed to without a two hour commute between them much less a full days plan ride.

The day could not have been more perfect with the weather being sunny and the waves warmed to a pleasant temperature.

After exhausting themselves in the surf Ruthie and Martin went to sit down on a huge oversized beach towel that Martin had brought along, their bodies still dripping wet from the ocean.

It felt so natural being in Martin's arms and it was quickly becoming Ruthie's favorite place to be as she sat nestled between his legs with him hugging her close to his chest.

"I love the beach." Ruthie admitted happily as she gazed out at the ocean.

"Me too." Martin said as he kissed the top of her head and nuzzled closer to her neck.

Ruthie loved how affectionate Martin already was with her so many times in the past when she had thought about crossing that "friends" line with Martin she had worried about them losing their "spark."

But it was obviously a needless worry she and Martin were so in sync with each other and every moment with him was ideal and perfect.

And this moment was no exception as Martin began slowly kissing Ruthie's neck and she instinctively turned her lips meeting his in a crash of emotions.

The slow kisses were among her favorite as they began a slow boil of warm heat coursing through her body and she felt connected to him and his intense passionate side.

The only problem with the slow kisses was they ended much too soon if they weren't intended as a prelude to something else.

"Do you mind if I do a little surfing before we head back? " Martin asked after ending the kiss.

"No. Go ahead it's cool but you have to promise to teach me how to surf next time we come here. "Ruthie said smiling.

"Absolutely." Martin said before giving her another quick kiss.

As Ruthie watched Martin heading out into the waves with his surfboard she couldn't help thinking how amazing her life had become recently.

She had the perfect boyfriend.

Martin was gorgeous from head to toe, he had it all the body, the eyes, the smile but most importantly he had a great heart and it all belonged to her now.

Martin could not have been more excited about how this day was going, well aside from losing all his major possessions that was.

He was excited that Ruthie was falling in love with San Diego and was feeling really good about his chances of getting her here on a permanent basis.

Martin was pretty sure he had the perfect girlfriend.

Ruthie was beautiful inside and out and she ignited pretty much every part of him sometimes with just a smile.

Done surfing for the day Martin took his board and headed back towards Ruthie only to find her standing on the towel talking to two strange guys.

As Martin approached them he could tell that Ruthie was a little uncomfortable.

"What's going on?" Martin said looking at Ruthie.

"Were talking to the chica here if you don't mind." One of the guys said as he turned to face Martin.

"Actually I do mind." Martin said stepping next to Ruthie before finishing his sentence.

"She's here with me."

"She looked pretty alone when we got here." Volunteered the bigger of the two guys.

Martin knew the guy was bigger than him and that he was trying to use his size to intimidate him but he was brainless if he thought Martin had any intention of backing down.

Stepping in front of Ruthie Martin got right up in the guys face.

"Does she look alone now?" Martin said inching even closer to show he wasn't scared of this jerk.

Ruthie was getting a little scared now that Martin was going to end up in a fight so she grabbed onto his arm.

"Martin please these guys are harmless." Ruthie promised.

Martin and the guy continued their stare down until the smaller guy finally intervened telling his friend he had should just back off.

"Whatever dude…there are plenty more chica fishes in the sea." He said turning with his buddy to walk away.

Martin turned to Ruthie and pulled her into his arms.

"I cannot leave you alone for a second. Please tell me you didn't do anything to encourage those guys." Martin commented not really expecting an answer.

"He smiled…I smiled back. I didn't realize that was the universal sign for come be an unwelcome leech." Ruthie said still shaking a little.

Martin couldn't help but laugh now Ruthie was wise in the ways of the world but so unbelievably clueless to how her beauty could turn a man to mush.

As they arrived back at the apartment Martin's first instinct was to kick his shoes off and leave them by the door because that's what Lily always had him do so he wouldn't track sand into the apartment.

The realization that he didn't have to do that anymore was freeing. He and Ruthie were sand covered and they could track it all over if they wanted to.

And man he wanted to…he wanted to lay Ruthie down on the couch and kiss her like a madman spreading sand into every crook and crevice of the couch.

Ruthie wasn't exactly sure what was possessing Martin as he strode purposefully over to her and lifted her over his shoulder carrying her like a caveman would over to the couch.

Gently he laid her down belying his earlier behavior of me "man" you "woman" but she knew he wasn't done with her when he began kissing her deeply his mouth begging hers to enjoy his.

It was a passionate battle of lips and tongues with no clear winner as both Ruthie and Martin lost themselves in each other.

They both knew the lack of clothing they wore now made this a very dangerous venture but it was fueled by feelings now with logic and thought tossed out the window.

God she felt so good underneath him thought Martin his mind clouded by the intenseness of the situation. Her skin was still warm from the sun and the sand that clung to her body was like erotic sandpaper as it rubbed against his flesh making every tingle like a flash of lightning going through him.

Martin knew he was clearly taking liberties here but he couldn't help himself as he kissed the hollow between her breasts tasting the salt of the ocean in his mouth.

Ruthie let out a soft sensual moan at the intimate contact and it was like fuel to Martin's fire to know that he was giving her pleasure.

But silently he prayed for something…anything to derail this out of control train off its tracks before real damage could be done.

Don't ever say the power of prayer doesn't work thought Martin as he and Ruthie were both shocked back to reality by the voice of reason.

Or the voice of Lily in this case as she dropped the box she was holding and spewed profanity at Martin before heading into the bedroom they use to share slamming the door.

Neither Martin or Ruthie had heard her come into the apartment and it mortified Ruthie to think about how long she might have been standing there…witnessing them in the throes of passion.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: A Little Give And Take

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the CW show 7th Heaven.

It seemed pretty unreal how drastically this night was ending up when less than an hour ago Martin and Ruthie had been completely engrossed in each other.

But here Ruthie sat across from what could realistically be considered a virtual stranger, except for the fact that he was also one of Martin's closest friends.

Weston Brighton Burkhart III the name alone made you think pretentious but that couldn't have been further from the truth and if Martin trusted him so did Ruthie.

Comparison wise Weston would have to be considered the polar opposite of Martin with tropical sea blue eyes, a lanky frame and mess of shaggy blond hair.

It was immediately obvious to Ruthie why Martin had befriended Weston or Wes as he preferred to be called.

Leaving Ruthie at Wes' apartment had seemed the obvious solution as Lily had refused to talk to Martin or even leave the bedroom she had barricaded herself in as long as Ruthie was around.

So that's where Martin had begrudgingly taken Ruthie walking the entire way with his arm around her even though their destination was a mere three doors down.

As they stood in front of Wes' apartment Martin turned to Ruthie before knocking.

"I don't even think sorry is adequate for this situation Ruthie…but I am sorry and pretty embarrassed." Martin added for good measure.

Ruthie wanted to make Martin feel better because she knew that none of this was his doing and he was just trying to make the best of a really bad situation.

"Its fine…I'm fine…a little embarrassed too but I think that's to be expected considering what just happened." Ruthie said giving him one of her best smiles.

Martin had to give her a hug for that one. She was being a real trooper during this whole dramatic performance that Lily was giving

It had taken a few hearty knocks before the door had been answered the sound of a guitar being played wafting through the door drowning out the first few attempts but finally Wes appeared headphones still dangling from his neck.

"Martin…sorry man I was laying a few tracks down on the computer. What's up?" Wes asked his curiosity peaked by the cute brunette at Martin's side.

"I have a small problem and I need your help." Martin informed his close friend.

Wes listened intently as Martin did the cliff notes version of his break-up with Lily and the now impeding confrontation that awaited him in his apartment.

"So this is the infamous Ruthie." Wes stated taking in Ruthie's slightly disheveled appearance.

"Infamous…I'm sure that's an interesting story." Ruthie said as she gave Martin a look.

"All good…I promise you." Martin stated looking to his friend to back him up.

"I'd have the man write your eulogy when the time comes he has nothing but glowing things to say about you." Wes promised.

Ruthie smiled at Wes and his easy manner, she didn't relish the thought of Martin going back into the apartment to talk it out with Lily but she could tell that she was being left in good hands.

"Just a little FYI buddy…Lily came by and asked me to talk some sense into you." Wes informed Martin.

"She did…so what did you tell her?" Martin asked

"I told her I like you senseless that it's huge part of your charm." Wes answered grinning.

"Which of course did not go over well…I'm pretty sure I'm no longer in her fav five." Wes said somewhat jokingly.

"Yeah…well join the club" Martin said a little bitter.

Martin didn't want to leave Ruthie but he knew he needed to go and finish this thing with Lily once and for all.

So turning to Ruthie Martin gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I will do my best to make this fast." Martin promised her as he prepared to head out the door.

"I know." Ruthie said accepting there was nothing she could do to make him not have to go through this.

As Martin closed the door behind him Wes turned to Ruthie. "Are you hungry? I was just about to make myself some dinner."

For the first time that night Ruthie realized her stomach was grumbling.

"I could eat." She informed him.

"Good because I can cook." Wes stated as he headed into his kitchen to start cooking.

Ruthie followed him not wanting to be waited on but needing to help as a show of appreciation for taking her in during this awkward situation.

Martin entered his apartment purposefully and strode over to the bedroom door to knock.

"Alright Lily…it's just me now come out of there." Martin ordered his patience spread more than a little thin at this moment.

Reluctantly Lily opened the door a crack to look out and seeing only Martin there opened it fully to stand before him."

Martin could see that Lily was angry still but truth be known he was furious with her too.

They stared each other down both not wanting to be the first to land a verbal blow that they knew could quickly escalate this situation out of control.

Finally unable to stand the silence though Martin spoke up.

"This isn't getting us anywhere Lily. Whatever you need to say…just say it." Martin said knowing he could handle whatever diatribe of guilt she was preparing to hand him.

"You don't want to know what I'm thinking." Lily said the edge of anger in her voice.

"Actually I do because lately I'm having a hard time understanding you." Martin countered.

Fine Lily thought if he wanted it spelled out to him she wasn't above doing that even if she knew Martin wouldn't want to hear it.

"She's a child Martin…you've destroyed us for a child." Lily said tears threatening now.

One huge bone of contention between Martin and Lily had always been the difference in their ages and Martin had continually had to defend his maturity to Lily. How ironic that she now thought he was too mature for Ruthie.

"I'm following my heart on this one Lily. I know that's not what you want to hear but it's the truth." Martin began the start of what was not intended to be a hurtful speech but really had no other direction to go.

"And I won't listen to you bash her." Martin stated.

"So if that's what you intend to do here then you should just leave." Martin finished making sure his stance on the matter of he and Ruthie was clear.

"That's not what I came here for." Lily admitted a little deflated.

But now it was Martin's turn to erupt over the things that really angered him regarding this breakup.

"Right…you must have come here to clean out the rest of my stuff." Martin said angrily.

Lily knew that Martin was ready now to take her to task for all the stuff she had removed from the apartment without his knowledge or permission.

"I took what was rightfully mine." Lily stated a little braver than she felt.

"What was rightfully yours?" Martin said clearly shocked by her brazen statement.

"Let's not forget I paid for the bed…not you and the television set well the last time I checked when you put a big red bow on something and attach a happy birthday to it they call that a gift." Martin said raising his voice.

Lily knew Martin was right and the truth was she had gone a little crazy when she thought about him sharing their things with someone else, she didn't see the justice in Ruthie getting to watch a TV that she had paid good money for gift or not and she certainly couldn't wrap her head around Martin sharing their bed with anyone else because for fourteen months he had shared it with just her.

'I'm not giving you back the bed" Lily said matter of fact as she began to explain her reasoning behind removing it from the apartment while he was gone.

Unfortunately for Martin after her explanation of her justification for taking the bed he knew there was nothing he could do or say that would change her mind.

Ruthie could not believe that Wes had managed with her help of course to whip up a fairly great meal in a matter of minutes.

"This is really good." Ruthie said taking another delicious bite of the shrimp scampi that Wes had prepared.

"Thanks. I took a few cooking classes so I wouldn't starve after my girlfriend left me turns out I'm actually pretty good at the whole cooking thing though…who knew." Wes said casually.

"I cook too but its more meat and potatoes than fancy dining." Ruthie informed him.

"And why is that? " Wes asked really interested to know.

Ruthie began to explain to Wes how she had come from a very large family and cooking was more about the volume needed to feed them all and the various strays they brought in then actually what it tasted like.

Wes countered by sharing a little bit of his family life and how he had grown up in the Hamptons surrounded by excess and endless servants.

"I think I would probably like that" Ruthie stated a little besotted by Wes' past life of luxury.

"It's easy to think you would but money comes with expectations." Wes promised her.

"And living on a budget doesn't?" Ruthie questioned daring Wes to defend it.

"Okay clearly I've never had to live on a budget so that point goes to you, but I have to believe there is some beauty in living with such a large support system all around you." Wes countered now daring Ruthie to deny it.

"Yeah…until you start to date and then it's like trying to break out of Alcatraz, you get rid of one brother and another one pops up to take his place until you run out of brothers and then the pseudo brothers show up to fill in. I swear I think that's why my dad welcomed so many over protective guys in our home to scare off any guy we Camden girls liked." Ruthie said able to laugh about it now.

"See now that's a good dad." Wes volunteered.

Ruthie smiled at Wes realizing for maybe the first time in her life how very true that statement was.

Maybe she was growing up after all if she was starting to appreciate the wisdom and guidance of her father.

"I'm beginning to see why Martin likes you so much" Ruthie admitted.

"Ditto." Wes said truthfully.

"So do you have any unmarried sisters or any single, interesting friends who might want to date a rich guy who presently has no real clear purpose or direction in his life?" Wes said only slightly joking.

Amused Ruthie laughed at Wes' jaded description of himself. "Tell you what you agree to down play the wander lust and I'll see what I can do.

Martin couldn't believe how wiped he felt as he walked down the hall to Wes apartment to claim his girlfriend.

What he had hoped for at the beginning of his and Lily's break up was never going to happen. He and Lily were not going to be friends not by any stretch of the imagination.

So now all he could really hope for was his stuff back and going on pure faith he had allowed her to keep her key with the promise that she would return every thing that had been there when she moved in except the bed of course. In addition any gifts she had given to him would also be returned.

It was as fair a deal as he was going to get.

It wasn't exactly a clean break and truth be known it was far from amicable as they parted ways but he didn't know what else to do.

The bottom line was she needed to let go of him and move on or their meetings would always be like this.

Ruthie and Wes had just finished putting the last dish in the dishwasher when Martin came through the front door looking a little exhausted.

"Did you get the number of that truck that sideswiped you buddy" Wes said jokingly to ease a little of the tension for Martin.

Ruthie was relieved at the sight of Martin and walked instantly over to him and without a thought to it Martin put his arms around her and drank in the comfort she brought to him.

Standing in the kitchen Wes watched the two not wanting to interrupt their moment but unfortunately needing to move the night forward.

"I hate to interrupt guys but I kind of have somewhere I need to be." Wes began. '

Martin was instantly apologetic.

"I'm sorry we'll just get out of your hair." he stated quickly.

"You could do that…or…you could stay here since I understand you're missing a bed. And I do have an extra room." Wes generously explained.

"I appreciate that but we don't want to be in the way." Martin admitted.

"I'm not even going to be here. I have a date and if all goes well…I'm not planning on coming home tonight." Wes said trying hard not to sound like he was bragging.

Martin was a little embarrassed at how freely Wes admitted his sexual exploits but one look at Ruthie told him she was okay with the fact that not everyone's morals were the same as hers.

"What do you think, should we take him up on his offer?" Martin asked Ruthie trying to read the answer in her eyes.

Ruthie thought about what that would mean...and realized that this was truly a part of this venture that she hadn't thought through…the sleeping arrangements.

And although the thought of sharing a bed with Martin was a tad bit terrifying, there was definitely a part of her that enjoyed the thought of lying cozy and content in his arms as she drifted off to sleep.

'I think so…yes." Ruthie answered her mind squarely planted on her desire to be near Martin.

"I guess you have some houseguests then." Martin said turning to Wes.

"Excellent. Feel free to eat anything or use any of the facilities…mi casa es su casa." Wes offered.

Back in his apartment Ruthie and Martin grabbed their overnight bags and prepared to head back to Wes'.

"So are you sure you're okay with this?" Martin asked turning to Ruthie.

"I like it better than the other option of sleeping on the floor." Ruthie admitted.

"I guess I hadn't thought of it that way." Martin said realizing the other alternatives were much less appealing.

Arriving back at Wes' apartment Martin and Ruthie were surprised to find Wes was already gone the only indication he'd been there being a note on the table which told them to take his room for the night because the bed was more comfortable.

Martin looked at Ruthie after reading the note his intention to be a gentleman clear.

"I'll sleep in the other room you don't have to worry." Martin started.

"I'm not expecting you to be okay with sharing a bed."

Ruthie really appreciated that Martin's intentions were to be respectful but it truly wasn't what she wanted. She wanted Martin close to her…she wanted him to stay with her.

As Ruthie made her desire known to Martin he was a little thrown, but he knew it was exactly what he wanted too.

"We're playing with fire here…you know that right?" Martin said making sure Ruthie was weighing both the pros and cons.

"We are not beyond restraint." Ruthie said a little surprised at Martin's hesitancy.

"You keep telling yourself that and we will be in trouble." Martin said letting the reality set in.

"Right now…I could use a shower to get the beach off me." Martin stated.

"Yeah…that sounds good I'll take one after you." Ruthie said in agreement.

"Or you could join me." Martin offered.

It was out of his mouth before he realized he said it and now he couldn't take it back. Ruthie couldn't help but give him a look.

Martin tried to quickly do some back pedaling.

"I didn't mean naked. " Martin said flustered.

"Is there another way to shower that I'm not aware of?" Ruthie asked clearly interested now.

"Suits…we could stay in out bathing suits." Martin threw out trying to salvage a little of his embarrassment.

Ruthie couldn't help but be amused by Martin's obvious discomfort at what he had suggested so she decided to throw him a bone.

"I do like having my hair washed for me. Would that be part of the deal?" Ruthie asked suddenly very intrigued by the idea.

"You want me to wash your hair?" Martin said in a contemplative tone.

Martin had to really hesitate as the thought of Ruthie all wet and soaped up in the shower started his less than moral thoughts flowing.

But still it was decided in an instant.

"I'm game." Martin said knowing his ability to restrain himself was about to have its hardest test.

Holding Ruthie's hand Martin led Ruthie into Wes' bathroom.

Quickly he turned toward her giving her one last chance to back out on a situation fraught with temptation.

"You know we probably shouldn't be doing this." Martin informed Ruthie.

"I know." Ruthie said those two simple words sealing the deal.

With Ruthie's final compliance Martin's hesitation was now gone. Standing in front of her he reached out for the silver zipper on her hoodie and slowly brought it all the way down until it was open.

Slowly and purposefully he pushed it off her shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

Ruthie felt like she needed air as Martin's gentle but strong hands came in contact with her bare shoulders.

Still not speaking making the moment that much more intense Martin reached for the button on the top of Ruthie's cut-offs and delicately worked the zipper of them down to give him the ability to slide them somewhat sensuously over her hips and down her legs.

Instinctively Ruthie stepped out of her shorts as they landed softly on the floor and Martin quickly kicked them aside.

Stepping back Martin surveyed his handiwork as he quickly pulled his shirt over his head to stand their bare-chested.

It was already almost too much for him as he pulled Ruthie into his arms to give her a sound kiss the feel of her bare flesh more than a little enticing.

Martin broke the kiss only long enough to start the water running and as he entered the shower he pulled Ruthie in after him his willpower severely threatened when the water hit her body and began running in streams down it.

Damn Martin thought that is some lucky, lucky water.

Pacing back and forth outside her dad's office Lucy contemplated just leaving. Maybe Kevin had been right maybe this was none of her business. Ruthie may be her little sister, but she was also old enough to choose between right and wrong.

But when had she ever actually chosen right thought Lucy. In fact wasn't that the reason she had landed in Foothill her ability to be swayed by the dangerous boys?

Although Lucy had never really thought of Martin as a dangerous boy and according to Kevin he had called looking for advice on how to keep things on a safer level with Ruthie, unlike Ruthie herself who had been leaning towards forgiveness after the fact.

Okay maybe Kevin was right about letting Ruthie choose her own path but he was dead wrong about keeping her parents out of it…they deserved to know what their youngest daughter was contemplating.

Decision made Lucy opened the door to find her dad with a client.

"Dad I need to talk to you." Lucy said with urgency in her voice.

"I'll be done in a few minutes if you can wait around." Reverend Camden offered.

"It's important." Lucy said a little agitated.

"This is important too." Reverend Camden said signaling to the woman sitting in the chair across from him who had clearly been crying.

"I'm sure but this is a family matter that requires your immediate attention." Lucy assured him.

Reverend Camden looked at the forlorn woman sitting across from him over to his daughter before making a decision.

"I'm sorry Pamela…this will just take a minute" Reverend Camden said apologetically as he got up ushering his daughter out into the foyer before him.

"This had better be good Lucy." Her dad said his tone one of reprimand.

The Reverend listened as Lucy retold her phone conversation with Ruthie to him.

"Martin has a good head on his shoulders Luc we have to trust him to use it." Her dad said trying to reassure her.

"And if he doesn't? Where does that leave Ruthie? "Lucy said not understanding how her father could be so calm about things.

"Ruthie and Martin will have to live with the decision they make regarding this issue Lucy." Her dad said trying to calm her down.

"We can't make it for them."

"Do you really want Ruthie to end up like Sandy?" Lucy said throwing out the reminder of what had befallen Sandy when she had slept with Simon.

A little more distressed now the Reverend put his arm across his middle daughters shoulders.

"I truly believe that Martin has learned his lesson." Reverend Camden said assuredly.

It was a statement that appeared to be heading severely south of the truth with the sight of Ruthie and Martin hands intertwined their bodies pressed closely together as he backed her up against the wall of the shower and kissed her passionate, willing mouth.

His body wanted hers and he knew that she could tell but she still trusted him and once again what should have made her uncomfortable only made her more curious as to what she was missing.

Somewhat unwillingly Martin ended the kissing and stepped back from Ruthie resting his hands on her hips.

"Okay…you need to leave now." Martin said a little sadly but a lot frustrated as he opened the shower door for her.

"What if I don't want to?" Ruthie shot back.

"You have got to work with me here Ruthie. I can't be the one saying no all the time." Martin chastised her.

Reluctantly Ruthie exited the shower and grabbing a towel she turned towards Martin.

"Maybe you should sleep in the other room" Ruthie said unhappy with him.

"You're upset with me?" Martin said confused.

"Yes." Ruthie admitted willingly.

"Do you really think that's fair?" Martin asked the beginning of annoyance starting to surface.

Pouting Ruthie walked out without answering him.

Quickly Martin turned off the shower and grabbed the last towel off the rack before following her into the bedroom where he found her sitting on the edge of the bed.

Wanting to fix things he sat down beside her.

"Talk to me Ruthie. " Martin said taking her hand in his.

Ruthie continued looking down at the floor as she prepared to tell Martin what was going on in her mind.

"What if I don't want to wait?" Ruthie questioned.

Martin needed Ruthie looking at him when he said this next thing so he put his hand gently under her chin and titled her face towards him.

"Then we might not wait and I concede there's a huge probability in that being our outcome on this issue but we just started this relationship Ruthie and whether you want to believe this or not sex will change the relationship.

People always say that but how…how does it change things? I mean if two people love each other why wouldn't the ultimate act of intimacy just make things better?" Ruthie asked trying to clear her confusion.

"It just does. And I have no intention of going there with you knowing in less than two months you'll be gone." Martin said revealing to her that he knew about her college choice.

Understanding now that Martin knew about Scotland and that he wasn't happy about it Ruthie tried to rectify the situation.

"I was going to tell you about Scotland." Ruthie promised.

"When as I said goodbye to you at the airport?" Martin said berating her.

"I was afraid if you knew you wouldn't want to be with me. I didn't want to lose you." Ruthie admitted shamefully.

"Well for your information I chose to be with you even after I knew." Martin told her.

"So you're okay with it?" Ruthie asked a little surprised.

"No…I'm not okay with it but it's not my choice to make." Martin admitted.

"You could tell me not to go." Ruthie offered.

She was right he could tell her that but he wasn't going to.

"And be the bad guy…no thanks." Martin lamented.

"So then what happens I go to Scotland and we become what? " Ruthie implored Martin to answer.

The problem was Martin hadn't really thought that far ahead he had chose to enjoy their time together and deal with the consequences later but now here the issue was front and center.

"I don't know." He admitted honestly.

'It seems unrealistic to continue a relationship where I'd probably only see you on holidays and summer vacations." Martin said his heart beginning to break at the thought.

"You won't tell me not to go to Scotland but you will take away the one thing that means the most in the world to me…you. Now who's being unfair?" Ruthie said sadly.

Martin couldn't understand how they had gone from the thrill of the shared shower to this desperate fight for their relationship. He was lost as to how to fix things.

But he was afraid if he kept fighting for it he would only make things worse.

"I think I'm going to go sleep in the other room." Martin said.

"I think that's a good idea" Ruthie said on the verge of tears.

It had been a long night sleeping without Ruthie and more than a few times he had gotten up to go talk to her but had decided it was better to leave it alone.

A decision he regretted as they began the car ride back to Foothill and Ruthie made it painfully clear it was to be a silent one as she got into the backseat of his SUV and put on her ipod headphones choosing to ignore him.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: "Its Never Too Late To Say You're Sorry"

Author: Juana

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they belong the CW Network.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. You didn't meet the "one" and then have no idea how to keep her.

It seemed ridiculous to realize that three days ago he and Ruthie had been perfect thought Martin perfect in every way.

But three days of silence and avoidance made his disbelief a painful reality.

The drive back from San Diego had been a piece of cake compared to the last three days of Ruthie shrugging off any attempts at talking to him.

He had at first given her the space he felt she needed to sort things out and put them in perspective but now days later his patience was wearing thin. She was nothing if not stubborn.

It wasn't like she didn't want to talk to him thought Ruthie she did but that desire was far outweighed by the hurt she still felt over his unwillingness to be with her if she went to Scotland.

Without even a thought to compromise or working things out he had stated simply that giving up on them seemed to be the best if Ruthie chose to go to school so far away.

For Ruthie it was never about making a choice between them, in her heart she had believed, until he burst her bubble that is, that she could have both.

Worst case scenario she would do the year in Scotland that her parents had paid for and then move back, knowing that there was no way she could do the entire four years so far away from Martin.

But that was clearly worse case for her, she no longer wanted to live in Scotland her heart just wasn't in it and she did have other options unbeknownst to Martin.

Options she was in the process of exploring before even bothering Martin with the possibility of Scotland. But now with his reaction the other night she didn't know what to do.

It really cut deep for Ruthie to realize how easily Martin would give up. Every girl wants a man who is willing to fight for her and in Ruthie's mind Martin's actions told her he wasn't willing to go the distance if it meant having to go long distance.

The one thing their days apart had given Martin was plenty of time to think and he had dissected their last conversation down to the last syllable to try and figure out where it had all gone so wrong.

And he knew.

The exact moment he had lost that fight was the moment he stopped fighting for them. He hadn't meant to make things seem so final in essence giving her an ultimatum it had unfortunately come out that way.

He knew it was in part due to the heightened tension after the shower make out session that his head hadn't exactly been on straight and he certainly hadn't meant to blind side her with the whole school topic.

But every moment with her brought him closer to surrendering his heart and he didn't want it broken into a million pieces when she left.

More than ever in his life he wanted the whole enchilada…the love, the marriage, the physical connection and eventually the family and as selfish as it sounded he didn't want to wait four years for all that to manifest he wanted it to start now.

Four years from now he wanted to be on such solid ground with Ruthie that getting down on bended knee and purposing marriage was just the next natural step. If they even waited four years a part of Martin thought he could marry her right now and be happy for the rest of his life.

It was a belief which seemed pretty stupid considering he couldn't even get her to stay in the same room with him and talk things out.

It was time for some drastic measures and that would require reinforcements.

Late afternoon was the perfect time of day to take a row on the lake, warm enough to make the breeze on your face a welcome friend but not so hot the exertion seemed like sweaty exercise.

Ruthie glanced down at her watch before looking back up at the trail she had been waiting for nearly fifteen minutes for Christine to show.

Finally she saw her coming down towards the lake with of all people Martin. She should have known this was a set-up.

The look on Ruthie's face said it all she didn't like being deceived.

"Okay before you say anything I asked her to help me, this was all my idea." Martin volunteered to get Christine off the hook.

"This is for your own good." Christine informed Ruthie bravely.

With that said Christine turned to head up the hill but turned back around at the last minute. "You've got one of the good ones there Ruthie…talk to him." She offered as a last piece of advice.

Martin turned back to Ruthie waiting for some sign of acceptance, some willingness to bend.

But when he saw none proceeded with his next plan of attack.

"Get in the boat." Martin said with authority.

"I'm not getting in the boat with you." Ruthie informed him in no uncertain terms.

"You can either get in or I can put you in." Martin told Ruthie giving her a chance to weigh her options.

Ruthie knew from past experiences with Martin that he wasn't above hoisting her over his shoulder to get her where he wanted her and she quickly made up her mind as he started to step closer.

"Alright…fine. I'll go with you but you can't make me talk." Ruthie said her stubbornness rearing its ugly head.

Martin knew that could very well be true but he was hoping what he had to say to her would help to fix things.

Like a chastised child Ruthie got into the boat and moved to the far end which was as far away from Martin as she could possibly get.

As Martin pushed the row boat into the lake and jumped in, Christine and Felice stood out of sight watching.

"Ruthie is so incredibly lucky. Martin is so hot!" Felice sighed.

"Do you think he'll be able to fix things? She asked Christine.

"My money is on Martin coming back soaked from head to toe when Ruthie pushes him in." Christine offered up.

"That could work for me." Felice said more than intrigued by the prospect of a soaking wet Martin.

Everything is so easy for Martin thought Ruthie as she watched him in what appeared to be an effortless task of rowing the boat. He looked so good to her right now and she had to squelch the urge to talk to him.

As they reached the middle of the lake Martin stopped rowing and sat waiting for Ruthie to react. But Ruthie had promised him a silence and even though he saw her inward struggle he knew she wasn't about to change her mind.

Fine…if that's the way she wanted to play it.

Slowly Martin got up so as not to rock the boat and pulled first one oar then the other oar out of there holding rings holding them out for Ruthie to see.

Okay…what was he going to do Ruthie wondered still unwilling to break her vow of silence to find out.

"You have exactly ten seconds to say something…anything to me or I toss the oars overboard into the lake.

It was clear to Ruthie now that Martin meant business as he started the countdown. But he wouldn't really strand them in the middle of the lake would he?

As Martin got to the end of the countdown he just shook his head at Ruthie.

"You are so unbelievably stubborn you always have to do things the hard way." Martin said as he kept his promise and tossed the oars into the lake immediately eliciting a reaction from Ruthie.

"Have you lost your mind! " Ruthie shouted as she watched the oars drifting away.

Ruthie had forgotten that Martin had quite the arm from years of baseball there was no way those oars were coming back.

"She speaks…finally" Martin said sitting back down in the boat.

"Now that I have your attention can we talk?" Martin asked glad that something had finally penetrated with her.

"If I refuse to talk are you going to throw me overboard?" Ruthie asked sarcastically.

"Don't tempt me." Martin said with an ominous tone.

"I don't like being give ultimatums." Ruthie advised Martin.

"I didn't mean to give you an ultimatum." Martin admitted to Ruthie both knowing the confession held a double meaning for that moment and his earlier slip up when he had thrown out that breaking up was an option if she went to college in Scotland.

Finally Martin saw a little bit of the ice thawing around her stubborn streak the time to break it was now or never.

" I was an idiot Ruthie." Martin said admitting his mistake. "I may not want you to go to Scotland but I would never let it come between us."

"Really?" Ruthie said clearly surprised by what she regarded as Martin's change of heart.

"Yeah…the truth is we'd work it out because that's the right thing for us…just letting you go would definitely be the wrong thing." Martin stated relieved to finally be talking to her again.

With one fear alleviated for Ruthie another quickly surfaced.

"What if you met someone else while I was gone?" Ruthie said a little worried now Martin was as Christine had said earlier one of the "good ones."

Didn't every girl want a guy like Martin in her life?

"I'm not going to meet someone else because I'm not going to be looking." Martin assured her.

Oh great the only thing more appealing than a "good guy" was a "taken" one. Ruthie may as well post a big sign next to Martin that said "come and get him girls."

Ruthie had no doubt that Martin wouldn't go looking for trouble…she had every reason to believe that it would find him anyway in the form of a lonely girl somewhere.

After all wasn't that how he and Lily had connected two lonely souls needing companionship?

"Come to Scotland with me." Ruthie said excited at the prospect a prospect Martin quickly shut down.

"I can't Ruthie…I have a life in San Diego." Martin reminded her.

"You don't even have a bed much less a life." Ruthie countered grasping at straws

" I can get a bed and I have a really great life in San Diego…lot of friends and my school is there, plus baseball." Martin said trying to make Ruthie understand.

And Ruthie did she just didn't want to admit it or to think how incredibly selfish she was being to suggest Martin uproot his life to fit hers.

A life which ironically enough she no longer wanted, she wanted to be with Martin in San Diego not in Scotland all alone.

"Please tell me you understand." Martin implored.

"I do." Ruthie said barely above a whisper as it hurt too much to think of being without Martin.

"So are we good?" Martin asked hoping for only one answer.

Ruthie shook her head yes as Martin motioned for her to join him.

A little on the clumsy side Ruthie crawled over to where Martin was and nestled into the crook of his arm.

Martin wanted it to always be this way…they would fight because they both had passionate natures but then they would find that common ground which would lead them back to each other.

No obstacle would ever be insurmountable Martin thought as he placed his lips on hers to once again feel the connection that melded their souls together.

Back in a place of comfort and contentment Ruthie snuggled even closer to Martin as the kiss ended.

"So what's the plan now? You do have a plan for getting us back right?" Ruthie questioned.

"I kind of like it here." Martin happily volunteered.

"Yeah me too." Ruthie said as she lovingly ran her hand across Martin's chest…but I am not swimming back so you better have a plan.

"I have everything covered we are to be rescued in just a little over thirty minutes now…no worries." Martin promised.

"You know this could have gone horribly wrong for you don't you?" Ruthie quizzed him an expression of mischief crossing her face.

"I planned for all scenarios." Martin said as he turned a little to reach the back pack he had stowed beneath the bench.

Opening it he pulled out a light blanket, some crackers and cheese and couple of sodas.

"You brought a boat picnic?" Ruthie said surprised.

"I just wanted to make sure we were comfortable" Martin said pulling the blanket around them to ward off a little of the chill that was starting to blow across the lake.

Ruthie couldn't help but smile at Martin's romantic side and she loved that he took time to make sure all the details were covered. Martin was a planner and that was a huge plus in Ruthie's book.

As Ruthie watched Martin start to open the goodies she had an overwhelming urge to really kiss him and she followed it.

Taking Martin by surprise Ruthie began passionately kissing him the picnic all but forgotten.

In between kisses Martin took his hand and brushed the hair back that was falling in Ruthie's face.

"So I guess I'm forgiven." Martin said confidently.

Ruthie smiled as she nestled into the crook of his warm neck.

"I love you Martin." Ruthie whispered.

Martin felt like he had lost his breath as she said those words to him for the very first time.

He loved the way that it sounded and how complete it made him feel.

"I love you too." Martin said returning the heartfelt sentiment.

For the first time in his life Martin realized what it felt like to really be…"in love…really in love."

Ruthie was never more surprised with her self than in that moment when she had told Martin that she loved him and she realized she meant it.

It had never been this way with anyone else.

She had told Ian that she loved him but it had been more to justify to herself why she was staying with him when he was straying outside the relationship with Jane then being something she really felt.

With Martin she really felt it her whole heart was really in this and it scared her just a little bit…well actually a lot.

Everything about this moment was perfect but it was a moment that would end too soon as Martin realized his half hour was up and Christine had done as she promised and sent someone to help them.

Immediately Martin moved away from Ruthie leaving her feeling a little deflated after the wonderful romantic moment they had just been sharing, but she knew it would be bad if she and Martin were caught in a compromising position.

Reluctantly Martin sat up on the bench of the rowboat and waved to the boat on its way out to them.

Pulling the blanket around her Ruthie started to get up to take a seat on the other bench facing him until she realized the blanket was caught on a nail or something so she tugged as hard as she could not realizing that whatever was holding the blanket back would give way so easily.

With one swift unexpected movement Ruthie was tumbling over the side of the boat and Martin instinctively jumped up to try and save her and unwilling to let go of her went over too.

As the two came up sputtering from the water Ruthie turned to Martin and giggled.

"Are you okay? " Martin asked concerned as he treaded water trying to keep a float.

Ruthie kept laughing. "I'm guessing this wasn't part of the plan."

Martin starting laughing now too as he reached out for Ruthie's hand and pulled her closer to him so that he could help her back up into the boat before he climbed in after her.

Soaking from head to toe the two burst out laughing.

"Nothing ever goes as planned with you." Martin said between fits of laughter.

Christine and Felice were waiting somewhat impatiently in the cabin for Ruthie to come back from her shower and they practically jumped on her with questions the minute she entered the door.

"So what happened? Who pushed who in first?" They wanted to know.

Ruthie laughed before filling them in on most of her and Martin's row boat ride some of it no one but her and Martin needed to know.

Felice sighed as Ruthie finished her story.

"You are one of the luckiest people I know." She said wistful for a good looking romantic man of her own.

"So are you two going to the end of camp dance together as a couple then or do you still have to keep this all low key?" Christine asked.

Ruthie didn't really know what Martin's intentions were involving the dance and she didn't really care because after camp was over tomorrow Martin was all hers in private and in public.

Only one thing could make her life more perfect than it was right now.

Sitting down on her bed Ruthie picked up her cell phone and sent a text message and sat patiently waiting for the person on the other end to text her back.

If all went well this person would have the news she needed and hopefully it would be what she wanted to hear.

Suddenly her phone rang signaling a text coming in and she quickly read the message a smile spreading across her face.

The text from Mac was in and it read simply "It's a go princess…now go tell prince charming and make his day."

Ruthie knew when the time was right what she had to tell Martin would indeed make his day, it had already made hers.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: "The Day That It's Over"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they are the property of the CW network.

As she stood there alone the movers having finally left she felt cheated that was for sure.

But after her last confrontation with Martin Lily knew that she needed to make things right or they would never be able to be friends…and she still needed him to be her friend.

This was the reason she had decided to return the bed even though it killed her to do so.

She didn't hate Martin just the situation.

And the more she thought about it the more she convinced herself that Ruthie was a phase that he was going through in his quest to remain unmarried.

She really regretted now all the pressure she had been putting on him to marry her reasoning that must have been what sent him down the path to infidelity.

Standing next to the bed Lily loving replaced the picture she had taken from the bedroom it was a picture of her and Martin in Hawaii.

Lily and Martin had gone there for her sisters wedding just last summer and it was one of Lily's fondest memories of her and Martin they had been so happy then.

Hopefully the picture would remind him of their happier times too.

Suddenly without warning the despair of her current life situation hit her and Lily began to break down and fell sobbing onto the bed.

Walking down the hall to his apartment loaded down with groceries Wes noticed the door to Martin's apartment was wide open and putting the bags down glanced inside.

He immediately heard the racking sobs coming from the bedroom and walked over to the open door.

"Lily?" Wes said immediately realizing who the sobbing woman on the bed was.

Startled Lily sat up and wiped at her eyes a little embarrassed to be caught in such a distraught situation.

"I'm sorry…I was just returning some of Martin's things and it just got a little overwhelming." Lily admitted.

Wanting to comfort his friend and now ex-neighbor Wes went and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Is there anything I can do?" Wes asked a little concerned at how upset she looked.

"Can you bring Martin back to me?" "I don't know how to live with out him." She confessed shamefully.

Wes really liked Lily but on that count he had no good news for her and never one to minced words he told her the truth.

"We both know that's not going to be happening Lily." Wes said trying to sound at least a little comforting.

"I know…but it doesn't mean I'm ready to let go yet." Lily told him not holding any truths back.

"No one expects you to be it will definitely take some time." Wes said understanding her pain after having gone through his own horrendous break up with Olivia.

Lily reached over giving Wes a hug.

"I think I'm actually going to miss you a lot." Lily admitted.

"I do tend to grow on people." Wes said turning on a little of his charm.

Slowly Lily stood up putting a small smile on her face.

"Thanks for being here today Wes…I think I might have lain here and cried forever if you hadn't shown up.

"Now that would have been tragic." Wes said giving her a comforting smile.

Lily wasn't sure what exactly what prompted her next request maybe a deep seated need to keep somehow connected to Martin maybe a genuine desire not to lose Wes as a friend…she wasn't really sure.

"Do you think we can we keep in touch?" Lily asked a little hesitantly.

Wes was a little surprised that Lily wanted to keep in touch knowing that the best thing for him after Olivia had been to stay as far away from her and any reminders of her as he could but he also understood Lily's need to hang on to some of her old life too.

"I don't see why not." Wes surprised himself by saying.

Quickly Lily opened her purse and produced a note pad and paper thrusting it in front of him almost as if she was afraid he would change his mind.

And he almost did knowing for a fact that Martin wouldn't like him giving Lily a reason to be around, but as much as he liked Martin he felt really bad for Lily and if she needed a friend he was going to be there for her.

Because after all was said and done the score really did fall in Martin's favor.

Martin was happy with a really great new girl and moving on beautifully.

Lily was a mess with no shred of her life intact anymore.

Martin had been prepared for the break-up while Lily had been blindsided.

It was like that last day of your life…you never actually knew it was the last day until it was over.

And until the day Martin had come home and ended them Lily had had no indication it was coming and without a warning it was just done and her world had come crashing down.

Handing Lily back the note pad with his phone number and cell number now written on it Wes looked seriously at her.

"I have no problem being your friend still Lily…I will however have a problem if you try to use me to get to Martin. Do we have an understanding?" Wes said questioning her motives for the first time.

Lily smiled as she took the paper back. "I just want to retain some of my old life Wes…and we were friends too." Lily reminded him.

"You didn't answer the question Lily." Wes stated not backing down.

Lily didn't want to lie to Wes but she didn't really know the truth all she knew was that she wasn't quite ready to sever this bond.

"We understand each other." Lily said hoping her motives weren't completely Martin centered because she really did like Wes.

Ruthie stood looking at her reflection in the cabin mirror. She was dressed and ready to head to the dance unfortunately without Martin.

After a short discussion they had decided it was best if they continued to keep things under the radar knowing that it was just for the one last night.

A couple of guys had actually asked Ruthie to be their date for the dance but for Martin's sanity Ruthie had elected to go stag with Christine and Felice as her dates for the evening.

With one last turn in the mirror to make sure she looked okay Ruthie and her cabin mates headed out.

The meeting hall had been completely transformed by a few overzealous campers and streamers and balloons were everywhere.

It almost felt like being back in high school at the senior prom something Martin had unfortunately missed because of Sandy and his determination to do the right thing by her.

A waste of a memory now as far as he was concerned since the baby hadn't actually ended up being his.

The minute Ruthie walked into the meeting hall she spotted him, he just stood out in a crowd that way…your eyes were immediately drawn to him and his good looks.

They had decided together that it was best to maintain their distance at the dance but like a powerful magnet they were drawn to each other and before he knew it he was standing in front of her.

"You look amazing." Martin said clearly mesmerized by her.

Without having to be told Christine and Felice quickly disbursed to other parts of the room to leave the love struck couple alone.

"You look edible…I mean incredible." Ruthie said a hint of flirting in her tone as she appreciated how gorgeous Martin looked dressed up in a suit and tie, the green of the tie picking up the hazel tone in his eyes giving them an even more penetrating quality than usual.

As the music started Martin reached out to take Ruthie's hand a glowing smile spreading across his face.

"Let's dance." He said taking charge.

'You do know you're breaking all the rules right now." Ruthie reluctantly reminded him.

"I don't care. I want to spend this night with you no matter what it costs me." Martin said confidently.

Ruthie thought she might melt right there in front of him. This had to be a dream…a really beautiful dream.

"You're saying all the right things." Ruthie told him as she gave him her hand to let him lead her to the dance floor.

Martin smiled as he pulled her into his arms and began to slow dance with her.

No two people could have fit together more perfectly as their bodies molded together as one with not an ounce of space between them.

Martin knew they were being watched and he just didn't care.

Foothill had been his haven since leaving Glen Oak and it had certainly taught him a lot but what he realized now was that he was ready to move on.

And although he didn't really want to be fired he was done pretending that Ruthie wasn't special to him, because she was and he was ready for the world to know it.

As expected as soon as the slow dance ended the director came directly over to him and told him he needed a word with him.

Reluctantly Martin left with him toward the hall as they reached it the director turned to him.

"Is there something you need to tell me Martin?" Director Leroy asked bluntly.

"If you mean about Ruthie…I love her Leroy." Martin said using his friends name instead of title hoping to lessen the blow.

"While I can appreciate that Martin I can't appreciate that you've been fraternizing with a camper behind my back." Leroy stated not very understanding.

"Ruthie and I have known each other for a long time." Martin informed Leroy. "I didn't just decide to hit on some random camper I would hope you know me better than that."

"That doesn't make it okay Martin but seeing as this is the last night here and we are friends…please just keep it decent." Leroy pleaded.

"I have other people to worry about and I don't want it getting back to parents that counselors are dating the kids they are entrusting to us." Leroy admitted.

"Thank you Leroy I'm sorry I kept this from you." Martin said a little relieved that everything was out in the open now.

"I'm not going to lie to you Martin I expected better from you and unfortunately I'm afraid we won't be asking you back next year." Leroy finished removing his friend hat to put the director one back on.

"I understand" Martin said not in the least bit surprised other than to realize it didn't disappoint him like he thought it might at the prospect of not returning next year.

As Martin entered back into the hall Ruthie immediately came up to him.

"Is everything okay?" She asked concerned.

"I won't be coming back next year." Martin told her.

"I'm sorry Martin…this is my fault and I feel horrible." Ruthie said on the verge of tears.

"I'm okay with it Ruthie…I really am. I don't need Foothill to heal me anymore." Martin said hoping to make her understand.

With slow music wafting through the room Martin reached out once again for Ruthie's hand and as she gave it willingly he led her to the dance floor this time respecting Leroy's request and maintaining a physical space between them.

And although it was still dancing it was like denying a thirsty man water trying to keep their distance from each other when all they really wanted was to be close.

"Let's get out of here." Martin said before the song was even half way over.

Ruthie followed willingly as Martin led her off the dance floor and they waited for an opportune moment to sneak out a side door.

Once outside the cool air hit Ruthie giving her a chill and without a thought to his own discomfort Martin removed his coat jacket and put in around her exposed shoulders as the two began walking in the moonlight.

"This has been a pretty amazing three weeks." Martin said as he pulled Ruthie closer and kissed the top of her head.

Neither realized the destination they were headed for until they actually arrived at the shore of the lake and sat down arms still around each other on the sandy ground.

Ruthie turned to Martin a look of apprehension on her face.

"You're sure being with me is really what you want?" She asked.

Martin couldn't contain the look of surprise on his face.

"Of course it is. Why are you questioning this now?" Martin wanted to know.

"I guess I'm just starting to realize how much you've given up for me I just hope I don't turn out to be a disappointment for you." Ruthie admitted.

Martin couldn't believe it this was not the Ruthie he knew, the Ruthie he knew rarely if ever questioned herself, she was confident in all her decisions and actions.

"My expectations are that we will probably butt heads a lot Ruthie because that's who we are but it's the moments like this that will make it all worth it." Martin said gazing into her eyes.

God what was wrong with her she had everything she had wanted for years and she was terrified. She had never questioned whether she was good enough for someone before Martin, she had only questioned if they were good enough for her.

Martin was so different than any other guy who had come before him and he certainly wasn't perfect but still Ruthie couldn't help putting him on a pedestal because he had stolen her heart.

Sensing Ruthie was struggling with something Martin gently placed his hand on the side of her face and leaned in to begin kissing her. When she was ready to share where her doubts were coming from he would be there for her but until then he would gladly share the silence with her too.

Wes did not understand how this had happened. Yesterday he had been giving her his phone number to mostly appease her and today he was waking up next to a naked Lily mentally kicking himself for letting this happen.

He should have just said goodbye to her and let her go but she had seemed so lost that he had invited her over for dinner that night. He had half expected her to say no but she had jumped at the invitation and had arrived at his place promptly and looking worlds better than earlier when he had run into her at Martin's.

There was definitely some alcohol involved but not enough to justify why he had seduced her into his bed and he had definitely been the one doing the seducing.

Sometimes Wes hated what Olivia had turned him into. Before Olivia he had been the guy you took home to mom, faithful, loyal and dependable, after Olivia had dumped him and shredded his pride he had become a regular bar fly taking a different woman home every night in search of the one that would heal the hole in his heart.

The problem was Wes had no respect for a woman who would follow you home from a bar and give up the goods without even knowing your last name. It was a serious rock and a hard place.

As Lily started to stir Wes closed his eyes to try and feign sleep because the truth was he had no idea how he was going to deal with this new development in his life.

Slowly awaking Lily tried to put it all together, a part of her thought it had been a dream but as she turned with a small smile on her face she saw a sleeping Wes and sat up mortified at what she had let happen.

Gingerly she slid out of bed and picked up the pieces of her clothes that she could find before slipping into his bathroom to quickly dress. Her first thought was to just get the hell out of there and figure things out away from him.

Ruthie and Martin entered the hallway of his apartment complex laughing and as they reached the door of his apartment he unlocked it and without warning he scooped her up into his arms to carry her over the threshold.

"What are you doing" "Ruthie said giggling at the unexpected move.

"It's the beginning of our new..." Martin began the sound of a door opening cutting him off as the two turned to see a disheveled Lily exiting Wes' apartment.

Still holding onto Ruthie Martin turned a complete look of surprise on his face.

"Lily?" Martin questioned the answer to what the hell was going on having already formed in his mind.

Lily for her part looked sufficiently guilty until she realized she didn't owe anyone an explanation least of all Martin.

And her first look at Ruthie nestled so comfortably in Martin's arms steeled her resolve to go with her first instinct of just getting the hell out of there.

"I should be going." Lily said simply hurrying past Martin and Ruthie.

She was gone in an instant but the look on Martin's face wasn't and it was a look that fed into Ruthie's already constant doubts.

Their romantic moment shattered by Lily's entrance Martin sat Ruthie down and opened the door for her letting her walk inside his mind clearly on the scene he had just been made privy to .

It was obvious to Martin if not to Ruthie that Wes had put another notch on his bedpost in his quest to forget Olivia but this notch Martin had a problem with and when the time was right he would make sure Wes knew it.

Entering the apartment Ruthie was stunned by the transformation from the last time she had been there. Lily had returned all the missing items and Ruthie could imagine now what it must have been like when Lily and Martin had lived here, particularly since Lily had seen fit to install her and Martin's couple pictures back into their former resting places.

It stung to see the pictures, it stung to see Martin's obvious annoyance with Wes…if this was the beginning of what she was to expect from her new start with Martin it just plain stunk and brought home the point that Lily was still a fixture in Martin's life whether he realized it or not.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: "She Could Be the One"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they belong to the writers at the CW Network.

Authors Note: Thanks everyone for reading and Happy 4th of July to you.

Standing at the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce she felt Martin's arms come around her and his lips graze her neck as he snuggled up close to her.

"You smell delicious" Martin said the sexy tone of his voice drifting into Ruthie's ear as he began to rain sensual kisses down the side of her neck his fingers gently caressing the slope of her shoulders.

"I'm pretty sure that's the spaghetti sauce." Ruthie said as she continued stirring all the while going weak in the knees as she became very conscious of the length of his body pressed up against hers.

Martin reached over and took the spoon out of Ruthie's hand setting it down on the side of the stove before turning her around to face him.

"Okay this is some of my best work I'm doing here and you are miles away. What's going on?" Martin asked insistent on an honest answer.

Ruthie knew she should just tell him what was on her mind after all communication was the key to a healthy relationship but she was just a little bit afraid of coming off as the jealous girlfriend so tried to play off her odd behavior.

"Nothing…I'm just trying to cook dinner and you're being a little distracting is all." She said trying to change the subject.

But Martin wasn't having it…something was bugging Ruthie and he was determined to get to the root of it.

"That was kind of the point" Martin said a little bit of a bite to his tone.

Ruthie could tell now that he was getting a little annoyed with her but telling him that she was upset over his reaction to seeing Lily leaving Wes' that morning seemed pretty pointless to her when he hadn't broached the subject since.

Besides a part of her thought he should know how hard today had been on her. Lily had made sure of that by placing pictures of her and Martin all over the apartment for Ruthie to have to deal with.

And it was probably that thought process that finally made her let go of her fear and fess up to Martin how uncomfortable she had felt since entering his apartment to find Lily had peppered it was her and Martin's past.

Martin was stunned to say the least as Ruthie told him of her feelings of jealousy that had surfaced concerning Lily.

"I'm sorry." Ruthie finished up by saying.

Taking Ruthie's hand in his Martin led her into the living room where he sat her down on the couch as he went about the task of collecting the pictures of him and Lily, but as he began to throw them in the trash can Ruthie had to stop him.

"Martin wait!" Ruthie said jumping up off the couch.

"You shouldn't throw them away they're still your memories." Ruthie reminded him.

"But they make you uncomfortable." Martin said explaining his reason for getting rid of them.

It was the opportunity she had been waiting for and Martin had given it to her knowing it would make her feel better to be the bigger person here. Lily had been childish in leaving all the mementos and memories for Ruthie to see but Martin knew that Ruthie would never expect him to erase all signs of Lily or at least he hoped so.

It was a gamble, but it paid off as Ruthie proved to herself and him that she could have compassion for Lily and what she had shared with Martin without sacrificing what she and Martin were building as she rescued the pictures from their date with the trash.

"I think just putting them out of sight somewhere will be plenty." Ruthie said smiling as she realized that Martin has played her like a finely tuned instrument.

Martin had watched Ruthie grow up through different boyfriends and he had learned his lessons well. The flip side was that Ruthie knew how to push the right buttons with Martin too.

"You were never going to throw them away were you?" Ruthie said looking intense.

"I was never going to let you stay unhappy read into that what you will." Martin said his answer not exactly enlightening but honest and truthful just the same.

Wes continued to pace back in forth in front of the phone. He wasn't exactly sure who it was he was trying so desperately not to call Lily or Martin…he felt like he owed them both some sort of explanation…but where to begin.

Finally he dialed Martin's number a part of him hoping to just get the machine and as luck would have it he did.

Wes was a little surprised to find the message still had Lily's voice on it and instantly he hung up.

Martin looked at Ruthie a little sheepishly as the message clicked off.

"I will change that right now." Martin volunteered but as he started to head over to the machine Ruthie stopped him with a hand on his arm.

Slowly Martin turned back to her and reading the look in her eyes purposefully brought her into his arms and the two began kissing bringing their passion from a slow boil to a quickly burning heat as he gently scooped her up into his arms and headed into the bedroom with her.

As he lay her gently down on the bed a line from a John Mayer song blew through his brain becoming so pertinent in that moment as it helped him envision their future together…"And I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it."

Never had those words meant more to him then right now as he knew he wanted to be the one discovering her and sharing him self with her, being with her always.

It made him ache for that future as he gazed at her lying there beneath him, ache for that time when he could and would make her his fully and completely his.

But reluctantly he had to admit that this was not that time as he gingerly kissed her and then lay down next to her on the bed putting his arm casually on top of her waist as his fingers began lightly playing little caresses across her stomach.

Ruthie gazed deeply into Martin's eyes trying to read his mind. Martin felt so alive next to her and like he would never get enough of the looks she was giving him in the quiet moment they were sharing right then.

Unfortunately the silence was broken by the sound of the doorbell ringing in his apartment.

"Who could that possibly be?" Martin said clearly annoyed now.

"There's only one way to find out." Ruthie said sure nothing could surprise her at this moment.

"Maybe if we're really quiet they'll go away." Martin suggested hopefully.

Suddenly the sound of a baby crying caused both Ruthie and Martin to bolt upright.

"It couldn't possibly be." Ruthie said bewildered.

"Do you know who it is?" Martin said curious now.

Ruthie hoped she didn't but the former thought of nothing could surprise her was going right out the window if what she was thinking about who was on the other side of the door was right.

It was a race between the two to see who could get there first but Martin won by an arms length as he grabbed the handle of the door before her and Ruthie fell sheepishly back knowing the answer to the mystery even before the door opened to reveal Lucy, Kevin, Savannah and a very unhappy Noah.

Martin couldn't contain the look of disbelief he gave Ruthie as he knew that she was somehow responsible for the Kinkirk clan now being at his door.

Lucy burst in practically shoving Noah in Martin's arms before dashing past him in search of a restroom.

"She has an amazingly small bladder." Kevin explained a tad embarrassed that they were here in the first place.

As Lucy exited the bathroom she found Kevin sitting on the floor playing patty cake with Savannah while trying to coral a very squirmy Noah.

"Where are Ruthie and Martin?" Lucy asked annoyed that they had all but disappeared.

"Bedroom." Kevin said with a nonchalant attitude something that had never gone over well with Lucy.

"The bedroom…are you seriously crazy?!" Lucy said well on her way to a rant.

"This is Martin's apartment he can pretty much go wherever he wants…we however can't because we are the uninvited guests." Kevin said clearly annoyed that Lucy had more then fibbed to get him there.

"We are here on a mission." Lucy informed him as if that excused everything.

"And what mission is that?" Kevin said losing his cool a little more every minute that went by where he was being kept in the dark.

Meanwhile in Martin's room Ruthie could not have been more apologetic.

"I just wanted to make sure they knew not to pick me up back at the church." Ruthie tried to explain.

"I didn't want them to worry."

"So you told Lucy that you were staying at my apartment with me?! Honestly I'm surprised your mom and dad didn't follow her here." Martin said no hint of amusement in his tone.

"You're mad.' Ruthie said unhappily.

Martin didn't really think he was mad just more put out that moments before he had been lying in bed next to a woman he loved and now his house was a daycare center/ hotel full of uninvited guests.

"I guess we should go face the music since I'm pretty sure Lucy isn't going to let a closed door come between her quest to protect you." Martin said with a hint of sarcasm starting to surface.

Martin wasn't far off as Kevin was stopping just short of physically restraining Lucy from opening the bedroom door.

"Oh good…I was starting to worry about you." Lucy said butting in once again.

"Well as you can see I'm in one piece, healthy and happy so you can go now." Ruthie said hoping Lucy would take her very broad hint.

Martin knew it was time to intervene before Lucy and Ruthie could start one of their infamous war of wills.

"We were just about to sit down to some dinner are you hungry?" Martin said politely trying to steer Ruthie off her determined path of getting rid of the Kinkirks.

"Yes…starved actually" Lucy said quickly taking a seat at the table as an annoyed Kevin rolled his eyes. Lucy was never less than a handful to deal with and he felt sorry for Martin and Ruthie.

Ruthie looked at Martin he was certainly being the bigger person here welcoming in the Kinkirk clan even though they had arrived unannounced and Lucy had clearly brought them here to insure Ruthie and Martin did not have any real alone time that in her mind that they could use to get into tempting situations.

Ruthie walked into the kitchen to survey the mess that dinner had become, the sauce had boiled over with neglect and the noodles were soggy at best and overcooked.

"Maybe we should just order a pizza." Martin said looking at Ruthie a little sheepish that their earlier passion had destroyed a perfectly good meal.

"I'm not really a pizza fan." Lucy said piping up.

"Pizza is fine." Kevin said taking charge. "And we would like to pay for it." He volunteered to Lucy's dismay.

Wes was just about to turn in when he heard the knock at his front door and went to open it.

"Martin…uh…good to see you." Wes said trying to shelve his guilt.

Martin didn't really want to be here but he didn't really have a choice he needed a place to stay because his apartment was far too crowded with the arrival of his unexpected guests.

As Martin explained the situation Wes readily agreed to help him knowing that this might be the opportunity that he was looking for.

Back at Martin's apartment Ruthie was less than happy with her sister.

"I can't believe you did this. You forced Martin out of his own apartment" Ruthie said under her breath to her sister.

"You asked for it. I can't let you stay here alone with Martin." Lucy explained.

"You are not my mother!" Ruthie said pointedly.

Lucy knew that Ruthie was correct in that but she also knew her mother would have done the same exact thing if she'd known and right now she didn't need anything else to worry about.

Because what Lucy knew but Ruthie didn't was that their father was sick again and that his heart was once again the culprit.

"No. But I am your sister and I care about you and I need you not to be making any huge mistakes right now." Lucy said judgmentally.

Who was she to talk about mistakes? Thought Ruthie she was far from perfect and her dating mistakes were nothing to be proud of.

Besides Martin wasn't a mistake and their age was really the only factor that made their relationship intensity a little frightening.

If Ruthie knew anything it was that she was ready for this relationship with Martin and no one was going to persuade her differently.

So let Lucy butt in but it wasn't going to change any thing. Only Ruthie and Martin had the power to decide if they wanted to wait or not and Lucy no matter how hard she tried could not be there every time they were alone.

At this point in her life it was her commitment to God that was more of a deterrent than her meddling sister.

"I'm just trying to protect you Ruthie." Lucy said her intentions proving to be only heartfelt.

Ruthie appreciated her sister's candor and caring but she was overstepping her bounds here and she needed her to know it.

"I'm not a kid anymore Lucy and Martin loves me what do you think I need to be protected from?" Ruthie said questioning her sisters' fears.

For the first time Lucy realized that her little sister was right, she was growing up albeit faster than she probably should have been, but Martin was a solid guy with a great heart and really Lucy couldn't have wished for a better guy for Ruthie.

She could however have wished for a less experienced one.

But if Ruthie was okay with Martin's past then Lucy had to be too after all Kevin's past had been a tad bit checkered when she met him but she had still known and understood that he was truly a gift from God.

And the truth was that Ruthie was a lot more compassionate and forgiving then Lucy had ever been and really if Lucy's suspicions were correct probably a lot more versed in the physical aspects of being with a boy than Lucy had ever been before meeting Kevin.

Not to say that Lucy hadn't been tempted at times and with certain boys but fear of the unknown had always been an overriding factor for her whereas Ruthie was more of a jump right in and deal with the repercussions later kind of girl.

"I think we should probably call it a night." Kevin said coming to claim his wife.

"I'll be right there." Lucy said smiling at Kevin before she turned back to Ruthie.

"I like you and Martin together sis…I do. So you promise me you'll proceed with caution and I promise you I'll back off." Lucy said hoping to strike a deal.

"Martin is my forever Lucy whatever problems or situations we come across we'll work them out…that I can promise you." Ruthie said knowing she could never promise her sister abstinence until marriage.

Even though she was willing to try she just didn't want to give her sister false hopes.

Sitting at the kitchen table facing Wes Martin could tell he had a guilty conscience so he decided it was time to let his friend off the hook.

'Thanks for letting me stay here tonight." Martin said.

"It's no problem you and Ruthie are welcome to stay here anytime." Wes said honestly.

"Any time?" Martin questioned hoping that Wes might open up on his own to him.

"Yeah…any time." Wes said wondering now if Martin might have some indication that something had happened between him and Lily…deciding his questioning tone meant he must he decided to come clean.

"I have to tell you something and I hope after I do that you will not hate me." Wes confessed with a heavy sigh.

"Okay." Martin said opening up the way for him to continue.

"First I want you to know that I consider both you and Lily my friends." Wes began.

"But I did something the other night that I am not super proud of." Wes said faltering a little at the point of final reveal.

"Its okay man you don't have to tell me I already know." Martin admitted trying to let his friend off easy.

"You do?" Wes said relieved that Martin still appeared to want to be his friend.

Martin had thought when the time for this conversation came he would be mad at Wes but the fact remained that Martin had it all now with Ruthie. Who was he to fault someone for wanting to find that with Lily if it was meant to be?

What he had had with Lily had never dug into his soul the way being with Ruthie did it was the difference between loving someone for a time and loving someone for life.

Martin knew he would love Ruthie for life and that was a great feeling.

A feeling he wanted Lily to find with someone too maybe that someone could be Wes.

"I just hope there were some honest intentions behind it and that you didn't just sleep with her in an effort to not be alone." Martin said in a form of reprimand.

On that point Wes still wasn't sure all he knew was that night it had seemed right and he had spent pretty much the whole day thinking about Lily.

And a majority of that thinking process had landed him back in the same place where he had to remind himself that Olivia was Lily's best friend and it had been through Lily that Olivia and Wes had met.

So although the thought of being with Lily in theory seemed appealing in reality it was definitely the path filled with lots and lots of sharp pointy rocks.

And if he was being honest with himself Wes had to question if it was in any way a way to get back at Olivia for breaking his heart. Because although he was sure she no longer cared he knew her pride would never allow her to accept that she had been replaced by her best friend.

"I'm still working that one out" Wes promised Martin.

"I'll keep you posted."

Martin knew that having Lily around could very well cause some tension but he also knew that a happy Lily would help to alleviate some of the guilt he still felt over their severed relationship and if she managed to be happy with Wes well more power to her because in Martin's book Wes was a really great guy that just needed the right girl to open his heart up to again.

Martin knew Lily could be that girl.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: "Ask and It Shall Be Given"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they are the property of the CW Network.

Walking out of the spare bedroom Martin stretched and looked over at the clock it was 2 am already and he could not get to sleep.

He felt like an intruder in Wes' apartment as he walked over to the front door and slowly opened it hoping for minimal sound if any so his exiting of the apartment would go unnoticed.

As he made his way down to his apartment he wasn't exactly sure what the plan was but the unformed version went something like this he would enter his apartment find Ruthie and wake her up, then the two of them would head up to the roof for a little alone time.

It seemed simple enough.

And it was a mission easily accomplished as he entered his apartment to find Ruthie lying on the couch wide awake.

Silently he walked over to her and sat down next to her as she sat up.

"What are you doing here?" Ruthie said barely above a whisper afraid of waking the others in the apartment.

Knowing he couldn't really speak above a whisper either Martin leaned closer to Ruthie to talk. "I couldn't sleep. I usually go up on the roof when that happens…I thought you might like to join me." He said in invitation.

"I would like that very much." Ruthie said in full agreement.

Taking Ruthie's hand Martin stopped by the front door closet and opened it pulling out two jackets which he slung over his arm and as silently as possible the two crept out his front door and headed up to the roof.

Across town at her best friend Olivia's place Lily was having trouble sleeping as well her thoughts on Wes and what she had allowed to happen with him.

The glaringly obvious mistake she had made sleeping with her best friends ex was really screwing with her mind.

Wes was her friend but she didn't think he seriously cared about her in any way other than that. Olivia on the other hand had been her rock during many messy break-ups.

So if she were keeping score on the friend front Olivia was definitely in first place.

But it wasn't Olivia's friendship that now clouded her mind it was her encounter with Wes.

It had happened without much forethought to the consequences as she had been nursing a broken heart and he had been the first person to really be there for her.

Up to that point it had seemed like Martin was the victim and she was the roadblock on his road to happiness instead of the other way around.

When Wes had empathized she had hugged him in a show of gratitude and the rest had happened so quickly and naturally.

Being with Wes had been nothing short of mind-blowing. What had started as a simple meeting of bodies had ended in a blissful, earth defying blending of souls.

The bottom line was she and Wes had the kind of chemistry that made encounters both explosive and memorable.

She didn't know if she and Wes had a future or not but she was smart enough to realize that the physical bond they had forged was going to be a hard one to deny.

A part of Lily thought that it was far too soon after Martin to even be contemplating another guy in her life. So why then could she not get Wes off her mind? She needed to know what he was thinking and as embarrassing as it might be she needed to talk to him about what had happened.

But what if…God forbid he had just used her to get back at Olivia. She didn't think she could handle that.

Being dumped by Martin had done nothing but complicate her life.

Ruthie couldn't believe how beautiful it was up on Martin's roof. There was an amazing view of the ocean and she could smell the salt from the sea drifting up towards them.

'I love it up here." Ruthie said as Martin helped her into one of his jackets to help her keep warm.

"It's one of my favorite places to come to when I need some peace." Martin confessed.

Sitting down Martin pulled Ruthie with him until she was sitting in between his legs her back pressed up against his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around her.

"I'm sorry about tonight." Ruthie said turning her head slightly to look at him.

Martin thought he would never tire of looking at Ruthie's face; she had really matured since he'd left Glen Oak and had become quite a natural beauty.

"So how many times did you come up here with Lily?" Ruthie asked not sure she wanted the answer.

Martin knew the answer might shock her.

"Never…it's hard to explain but Lily never really brought this side out in me." Martin admitted.

"And what side is that? " Ruthie asked curious now.

"The things I share with you…I kept from Lily." Martin told her a little surprised at his own confession.

"I don't understand." Ruthie said confused. And she really didn't it seemed impossible to Ruthie that Martin could be any different than the boy she grew up with or the man she now knew.

Martin tried his best to explain that unlike how he wanted to spend every minute with her he had needed his time away from Lily and places like this had been his sanctuary.

He went in depth on how Lily and he had been compatible in many areas but the areas they weren't had caused wall shaking arguments. How in times like those leaving had been the better solution than continuing to engage in all night scream fests.

"So what about when we fight where will you go now since you've revealed your escape route to me?" Ruthie quizzed him.

"We have fought but its different…I can't explain it but I don't want to run when it happens I want to stay and work it out." Martin admitted to Ruthie's delight.

"I worry that I could lose you. I was never afraid of losing her." Martin said truthfully.

Now Ruthie was really confused. "If you were so unhappy and apathetic to her why did you stay?"

Martin wondered if maybe he'd gone too far now he didn't want Ruthie to think he was heartless or a user but the facts were the facts.

"Lily took care of me and she cared about me I convinced myself that it was enough." Martin said a little ashamed to admit his willingness to settle.

"Why did you stay with Ian when you knew he was cheating on you?" Martin asked turning the tables.

Ruthie wasn't really prepared to answer that question although she had asked herself that very same thing more than she cared to admit.

But Martin had been truthful with her and she needed to return the show of honesty with him.

"Ian had a way of making me believe in him even when I suspected what the truth really was." Ruthie reluctantly admitted.

Martin didn't like thinking about Ian having ever had a hold over Ruthie or the ability to convince her he was a good guy when he so obviously wasn't. But he also realized it was ridiculous to be jealous of the loser in this scenario.

Ruthie had chosen him and if everything worked out the way he hoped it would he and Ruthie would be spending the rest of their lives together.

The reality was that Ian was the one who would have to figure out how to go on without her now…not him.

Three weeks ago he could never have imagined how much his life would change or that he would have Ruthie back in it…but he did and he couldn't have been happier than he was right now.

Slowly and purposefully he leaned Ruthie back in his arms and began kissing her with all the pent up passion he had been feeling. He was exactly where he wanted to be in his life right now.

His lips were so demanding, yet soft and the intensity behind the kiss was enough to leave her breathless. It amazed her more every time how he kept stepping up his game and giving her body chills in anticipation of how his lips on hers would make her feel.

It was an intoxicating feeling to make a woman want you with just a look and a promise of what was to come when you actually connected and Martin was a little drunk with the knowledge of that power.

Ruthie was sinking…with Martin kissing felt like an art form and like any talent or skill you possess, the more they practiced the more intense and soul stirring it got.

Martin didn't know what Ruthie was thinking but he was so far beyond this kiss in his mind. In his mind he already had her naked and writhing beneath him her body pumped full of passion and wanting.

She was sending him over the edge of reason without even having to do anything…his fantasies about her fueling him to the point of pure surrender.

It was the first time he would admit to himself that waiting just plain sucked.

And for the first time ever Ruthie felt slightly vulnerable with Martin as she looked into his fiery eyes full of passion and unbridled lust. It excited her though to see this side of him that not only wanted her but needed her to slack his sensual thirst.

It was a powerful aphrodisiac to realize her body held the key to his satisfaction in this moment and many to come.

Martin knew he should stop, that he should back down but the cool night air blowing over the warmth of their two bodies was caressing him to a fever pitch and he found his actions to be somewhat out of his control as he gently removed the jacket he had given her just moments earlier and then slowly began undoing the buttons on the front of her silk pajama top sliding it off her soft, sweet smelling shoulders in victory.

Ruthie felt like Martin was a man possessed as he began gently caressing her now exposed flesh sending electric currents of lust throughout her which instinctively caused her body to arch closer in an invitation to his expert touch.

It needed to feel wrong, but it didn't not even when his mouth took over replacing his fingers in an effort to bring her pleasure.

The taste of her skin was like poison to his brain shutting off the part that lead to logical thinking and conscious careful decision making.

It seemed wrong to implore God again to give him the strength to stop the lust filled frenzy that he had instigated but he knew it was going to take a higher power to step away from something his mind and body so desperately wanted…so he did broach a silent if somewhat distracted prayer for help.

His brain remembering feebly that God didn't always give you an immediate answer particularly when the answer was probably something you didn't exactly want to hear.

Everything around Ruthie was in a haze and the only coherent thought she really had was that she didn't want these moments with Martin to end.

It took everything Martin had to back away from the feast right there in front of him but he knew he'd already bitten of more than he should have at this point in their lives.

It was far too easy for him to forget that Ruthie had never been with a man before as she pulled him back towards her and the magic of her touch and the feel of her lips.

He knew he could easily lose himself in her and a part of him so wanted to but with a final, final kiss he finally stood his ground much to Ruthie's disappointment.

Martin needn't have worried about waking Wes when he re-entered the apartment later that night after having just walked Ruthie back to his apartment.

Wes tired of his confusion about Lily had decided to head out for the night to party and as he now looked at the clock that read 3:30am it was from the bed of some girl whose name he was having a really tough time remembering through his tequila haze.

He just kept making things worse.

Wes knew he couldn't sidestep the landmine he had set with Lily; sooner or later she was going to want to talk and figure things out with him.

And he did owe her that…the problem was Lily had really gotten to him and it scared the crap out of him.

His breakup with Olivia was still so raw in his heart and in his mind that he had at first thought Lily was a revenge lay, she was after all Olivia's best friend.

But if that had been his plan it had quickly turned the tables on him as he had given into one of the most amazing sexual connections he had ever had…it had transcended this plane and taken him to heights he had never before experienced…it had reached into his soul and taken it captive.

And it was a shame because the blunt truth was that beyond sex he had nothing left to give another woman. Olivia had ruined him for anyone else with her callous treatment of his heart.

Olivia had lied to him, cheated on him and taken him for a fool and he was still very much suffering from it. He was incapable now of trusting any girl always believing that beneath the beautiful exterior hid the knife wielding psycho ready to rip your heart out.

He would have to face Lily and tell her the truth…that he could never give her more than he had that night. The fact that he was an empty shell with no emotions left to give shouldn't surprise her though he had made no secret of his love for Olivia and his crippling despair when she had ended them.

Casual encounters were his thing now and no one he suspected would have the key to fixing that glitch for a very long time.

Lying in separate apartments both Martin and Ruthie began to relive the past few hours in their minds.

For his part Martin knew he had done the right thing stopping the passionate encounter before it got too far out of hand, but he also realized that tonight had upped the stakes and that once you went forward it was almost impossible to go back.

He now had a visual imprinted in his memory banks of a semi naked Ruthie the moonlight glistening off her exposed skin and a sensory overload of how she had felt and smelled so perfect her sensual essence a dizzying combination to his willpower.

Lying curled up on the couch Ruthie realized it would never be easy telling Martin "no."

It was as if his hands were made to touch her and bring her body to life.

The two of them on that roof their bodies meshing and smoldering together could have set off fire alarms and when Martin had taken a step back to reevaluate she had tried unsuccessfully to fight him on it…to convince him not to stop.

She was more than ready to be his she knew it in her soul, she felt it in her bones but she also knew that it needed to be a mutual agreement or neither one of them would be able to shoulder the inevitable guilt that would follow an out of control encounter.

Having sex with or making love to Martin couldn't be something that just happened it needed to be a decision reached between the two of them that they were both ready for that next step.

It wasn't going to be easy though because even now when he was nowhere near her Ruthie still felt his phantom touch as if he were. He had branded her with his hands and lips in new and exciting ways and her body was not going to soon let her forget that.

She had shared more of herself with Martin tonight than ever before and would willing do so again, all he had to do was ask.

Ask and it shall be given.

Truer words were never spoken thought Ruthie although she was clearly taking them out of their intended biblical context and twisting them to fit her sinful needs.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: "Mission Accomplished"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in the story they are the property of the WB network.

His cop instincts still very much a part of him Kevin sat bolt upright at the sound of someone moving around in the semi-darkened room.

"I have a gun and a license to use it." Kevin said ominously to the hunched over figure.

"Kevin it's me." Lucy said standing quickly up off the floor to face him the act of putting on her shoes all but forgotten.

"Luc…what are you doing?" Kevin said turning to look at the glowing alarm clock which read 5:30am.

"I'm going to talk to Martin." Lucy said matter of fact.

Kevin quickly pulled off the covers and walked over to stand in front of his wife.

"Get back in bed you've meddled enough." Kevin said laying down the law.

"I admit that I have been a pain in the rear Kevin but something occurred to me last night." Lucy began.

This should be good thought Kevin Lucy was always so good at justifying her wacky Lucille Ball type behavior always believing she knew what was best for everyone.

"And what might that be?" Kevin asked knowing whatever it was he would have to be prepared to talk her out of it.

"I realized that Martin is probably the best person to tell Ruthie what's going on with dad right now. I mean…you were the first person I wanted to be with when I found out." Lucy said making perfect sense.

"You don't want to tell her?" Kevin said a little surprised to see Lucy not trying to do it all on her own like usual.

"If she needs me…I'll be there for her but I think it might be easier for her to deal with it if Martin tells her." Lucy finished.

"And you're sure you're dad doesn't want to be the one to tell her?" Kevin said trying to make sure all the bases were covered.

"Dad's got a full plate Kevin. I think it will be easier for him if Ruthie already knows by the time she gets back to Glen Oak." Lucy said feeling it was the best route to take.

Kevin could definitely see the wisdom in Lucy's thought process but he could also see the pitfalls for Martin if he was the one having to deliver the bad news to Ruthie.

Still Lucy did have a point it would be better for his father in law to not have to be the one to update everyone again remembering the emotional toll it took on him last time.

" Okay I think you may be right just try and remember that Martin is not obligated to do what you want him to do…if he says no you need to take that for an answer and not try and manipulate him into doing it." Kevin told his wife in no uncertain terms.

"Deal." Lucy said bending down to finish putting on her shoes.

"He won't say no though he cares about her too much." Lucy said confidently.

"Well then he's a goner and will be easily manipulated by you." Kevin said sarcastically letting his wife know that he knew she had no intention of not getting what she wanted.

Martin headed for Wes' front door to answer the insistent knocking; rubbing his eyes still exhausted having only just gotten back to sleep after dropping off Ruthie.

As he opened the door Martin was a little bit surprised to find Lucy standing there refreshed after what had probably been a wonderful night's sleep for her.

"What's up Lucy?" Martin asked as politely as possible when all he really wanted was to crawl back into bed and fall back asleep.

"I was hoping we could go get a cup of coffee." Lucy said extending an invitation.

All Martin could think was that he hoped she was kidding.

"It's not even 6 am so I assume you mean later?" Martin questioned hopefully.

"I know it's early but I kind of wanted to talk to you before Ruthie woke up." Lucy told Martin in explanation for the odd timing of her request.

Martin didn't really want to discuss his relationship with Ruthie with her sister especially not at 5:40 in the morning.

"Could we maybe do this another time I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I'm not sure I'm up to being interrogated." Martin said his exhaustion taking over as he yawned.

Okay she deserved that she had been a buttinski but having convinced herself that Martin was the best person for this particular job of breaking the bad news about her dad to Ruthie she plunged ahead with her plan.

"I'm not asking you to coffee to talk to you about Ruthie I've decided to butt out of that." Lucy said much to Martin's shock knowing it was never easy for Lucy to admit she was meddling much less stop.

"I need your help with something." Lucy said cryptically.

Martin sensed that Lucy had no intention of backing down and he was now a little intrigued since she had promised to leave his and Ruthie's relationship out of the conversation.

"Okay…coffee sounds good just let me go get dressed." Martin said pointing out that he was hardly dressed for the outdoors in pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and bare feet.

Olivia was sitting in the kitchen of her apartment sipping a cup of hot tea when Lily walked out of her guest room in search of cup of water.

"I didn't know you'd be up." Lily said a little surprised to find her friend awake so early.

"Couldn't sleep…something in the air I guess." Olivia said looking at her best friend.

"Are you okay? Okay…I know that's a silly question considering your recent break up and all…but I mean…if you need to talk I'm here to listen." Olivia offered just a little bit worried about her friend.

This was exactly what Lily didn't need right now Olivia at her understanding best the guilt she felt about Wes was already insurmountable.

"I'm fine…just not sleeping great." Lily said half truth…half lie. She wasn't fine she was confused and carrying massive amounts of guilt on her shoulders and truthfully because of all that she wasn't sleeping well at all.

"How are you and Mark?" Lily said feigning interest in her best friends' new relationship.

"Truthfully…Mark is really great which you probably don't want to hear given your situation." Olivia said apologetically.

Yeah…probably not thought a bitter Lily but on the other hand if Olivia was happy with Mark then maybe if things worked out with her and Wes she would understand and Lily could keep both her best friend and a relationship going.

"If it helps I do still have my sad moments where I miss Wes though." Olivia volunteered in an effort to cheer up her friend.

Yeah that doesn't help Lily thought sad and annoyed at the same time not understanding girls like Ruthie and Olivia who always hurt the men they loved instead of the other way around.

Lily had been dumped so many times she was starting to feel like garbage. Olivia on the other hand was always the dumper not the dumpee.

Worse than that Olivia's men were repeat offenders whereas Lily knew she would never again be with Martin or her ex-fiancé Max there was every chance in the world that Wes would end up with Olivia again if she decided she wanted him back.

Mark was proof of that.

Mark and Olivia had pretty much the same story as Ruthie and Martin they had met as teenagers and become fast friends, friends who despite their attraction for each other had never quite been able to make it work.

Lily had been at Olivia and Wes' apartment the day the flowers had arrived that had changed everything.

In Olivia's defense she had believed them to be from Wes and the carefully worded message on the card had given no indication otherwise. "You are the most beautiful woman I know. Meet me at the Marine room at 8pm tonight" was all it had said.

Lily had known something was amiss when Wes had shown up at her and Martin's that night to pick up Martin for a poker game with some buddies.

Wanting to protect her friend she said nothing waiting impatiently for the boys to leave so she could call her friend's cell to make sure she was okay.

It had sucked knowing the truth as she had watched Olivia struggle with her decision while cheating on Wes in the process.

But in the end she hadn't been able to stay away from Mark much like Martin had not been able to deny his need for Ruthie in his life.

Sitting across from Lucy in the Starbucks Martin could tell whatever she had on her mind was serious.

"Thanks for buying the coffee you didn't have to do that." Lucy said in gratitude.

"No problem. So what did you need my help with?" Martin asked cutting to the heart of why they were really there.

Lucy started to tear up at the mere thought of the conversation she was about to have with Martin.

"It's my dad." Lucy said a tear now slipping down her cheek.

Martin listened intently as Lucy gave him the run down on her father's failing heart and how the doctors were not optimistic at all and considered his condition incurable.

As Lucy went on Martin began to understand why Lucy had brought him here today she wanted him to be the one to tell Ruthie about her father's condition.

A part of Martin was wondering how any of this could possibly be true. Reverend Camden had spent his life dedicated to religion and had lived the life of a Christian man fairly unswervingly…it seemed unreal that the man who had such a huge giving heart was now unable to house his physical heart for the very same reason…it was just too big.

And this news was going to wreck Ruthie…Martin could already feel his heart breaking both out of sympathy for what she was about to go through and his own personal connection to the man who had taken care of him like a father when the war had kept his own father from being with him.

"I'll do it." Martin said knowing it wasn't going to be easy.

"Thank you so much Martin." Lucy said relieved that he had willingly offered and hadn't needed to be prodded into doing the right thing.

Ruthie and Kevin were already up and had fed the kids by the time Lucy and Martin arrived back at the apartment and Kevin was grateful to see them as Ruthie had been trying unsuccessfully for the past hour to get out of him where Lucy had gone to.

Ruthie's heart dropped into her stomach at the realization that Lucy had been with Martin. Was her sister ever going to stop meddling in her life? Ruthie could only imagine what kind of sisterly concern Lucy had guilt tripped him with.

But she'd had no time to find out from Lucy as she and Kevin had packed up the kids and practically bolted from Martin's apartment after finishing up breakfast.

Something was definitely up Ruthie could feel it in her bones. But on the plus side it was just her and Martin again and she preferred it that way.

After the prior night with Martin on the roof Ruthie felt very close to him and really just needed to know what he was now thinking.

Martin had expected to have a little time to process and figure out how to proceed with telling Ruthie the news about her dad but Lucy and Kevin had killed any chance of that with their hasty exit which was why he decided there had to be a better time to do this then right now.

He was going to tell her because he had promised Lucy that he would but right now he just needed a good day with her.

She deserved a good day before he shattered her world.

Sitting next to Martin in the car Ruthie was extremely curious where they were headed. He had remained mum refusing to clue her in to where they were headed.

He had been on the phone practically all morning arranging something and knowing the planner he was Ruthie knew it had to be good.

And she wasn't to be disappointed as they pulled into the parking lot of the Marina Village one of San Diego's main boat docks.

"We're going on a boat?" Ruthie said unable to hide her excitement.

Martin smiled at Ruthie's enthusiasm. "A sailboat actually."

"You know how to sail?" Ruthie questioned a little surprised.

"I do actually. Have you ever been on a sailboat before?" Martin asked curious to know.

Ruthie was beginning to think she had done nothing but waste her life in Glen Oak. A fun filled day for Ian had been spent playing video games while she sat by and watched waiting for him to finish.

Martin on the other hand had been a busy boy learning to surf and now she was finding out learning to sail. What other tricks did he have up his sleeve she wondered?

Finally Ruthie answered him "No…I haven't. What don't you do?" Ruthie said smiling at Martin even more intrigued by him than before.

"I admit I've kept myself pretty busy." Martin said proud of his accomplishments.

Getting out of the car Martin went over and opened Ruthie's door for her taking her hand to help her out.

Ruthie was starting to believe this all had to be some sort of a dream. Guys like Martin were just unheard of. He was good looking, athletic, caring, romantic and best of all a gentleman. He had to have some flaws somewhere but if he did Ruthie sure couldn't find them.

As they approached the sailboat a young man waved at Martin and Martin waved back as he began walking towards them.

"Ruthie this is my friend Jason." Martin said motioning to the guy now standing in front of them.

"It's nice to meet you." Ruthie said giving Jason a sincere smile.

"You too." Jason answered thinking to himself that Martin sure had a knack for ending up with good looking girlfriends.

He sure wished some of that luck would rub off on him.

Having dispensed with the introductions Martin helped Ruthie into sailboat before double checking that all the supplies he had called ahead for had been obtained.

With everything accounted for Martin began the process of heading the sail boat out into open water pleased that they had a nice breeze blowing across the water to make the experience that much greater.

Ruthie watched intently as Martin went about the task of prepping the boat for sailing, the muscles in his arms more prominent than ever as he pushed and pulled things into their proper place.

Finally ready to head out Martin turned to Ruthie and grinned.

"We're good to go are you ready?"

"If you promise not to sink us…I'm good to go." Ruthie said in a teasing tone.

"You question my abilities?" Martin said feigning shock as he played along with her.

"The burden of proof is yours." Ruthie said in challenge.

Martin was so glad to see this fun, playful side of Ruthie it told him that his desire to give her a good day was working. It was a shame he had the burden of knowing the truth weighing him down a little but he vowed to have a good time…for her sake.

Wes was getting ready to head out for the beach when the knock on the door came. He knew who it was and because of that almost didn't answer it.

"I know you're in there Wes…I saw your car." Lily said through the closed door.

Realizing he had no out at that moment Wes got up and opened the door.

'Hey Lily." Wes said feeling more than a little awkward.

"Can I come in? I think we need to talk." Lily said matter of fact entering the apartment without waiting for permission.

Wes never wanted to bolt more than in that moment. He didn't have anything to say to Lily that she wanted to hear…he was sure of it.

Lily knew from Wes' hesitation that whatever she imagined might happen between the two of them had no basis in reality. Wes was clearly uncomfortable that she was there.

So she decided to start.

"I'm not going to make this any easier for you by letting you off the hook." Lily promised.

Wes closed the door at that remark sensing the beach was not in his immediate future.

He just wanted to be honest with her and get it over with. He was done with the guilt.

"We made a mistake Lily. Can't we just try and move past it?" Wes asked trying to smooth over the situation.

"Why was it a mistake?" Lily asked the hurt evident in her voice. She not only wanted an answer…she deserved it.

Wes didn't want to hurt Lily…and damn he was attracted to her but it just couldn't happen between them there was too much baggage.

"I'll give you two really good reasons…Martin and Olivia." Wes said surprised he needed to say it.

"Martin is with Ruthie and Olivia is with Mark." Lily reminded him with a painful emotional jab to his heart.

"Let's just cut the bullshit Lily…I know that you still love Martin and as much as I wish that it weren't true…I still love Olivia." Wes said nailing home a point.

"Martin left me just like Olivia left you. I don't think moving on is anything either of them would frown on." Olivia stated feeling as if she'd already lost this fight.

Wes knew he had to follow his heart and not his hormones on this one.

"I'm not ready to move on and frankly I'm a little surprised that you are." Wes said truthfully.

Lily hated that Wes was making sense and that he was right emotionally her heart still belonged to Martin. Why then was her body crying out for Wes' touch she wondered?

He wasn't ready to give his heart away again…he knew that…but if she stayed much longer Wes knew that the physical connection they had so recently discovered would have a very strong overriding pull…he could see it in her eyes and he certainly felt it in his body.

"I still want to be friends Lily." Wes said trying to bring the sexual tension down a little.

Friends? She had enough of those.

"I don't think so." Lily said an air of finality in her tone.

Wes knew that was what he had hoped to hear which was why it surprised him that it felt so bad to hear her say it. He didn't want her to go completely away he realized…he just didn't want her to think they would or could ever be more than friends.

He had no idea how to fix this…but he knew he had to.

"What do you want from me Lily?" Wes asked cautiously.

"I want to be with you." Lily said honestly quickly following her statement with a disclaimer.

"But you're right…I'm not over Martin."

"So where does that leave us?" Wes questioned not sure where she was headed with this.

"I want to be with you…" Lily began but Wes quickly cut her off.

"I can't be your boyfriend…" Wes started but now it was Lily's turn to cut him off.

"I don't think you understand…I want to be with you." Lily said heavy emphasis on the words "with you."

Suddenly Wes understood and what she was implying more than shocked him.

He had to ask just to clarify.

"I'm sorry…are you saying you don't want to be just a friend…but a friend with benefits?" Wes said a little embarrassed if his assumption turned out to be wrong.

Now it was Lily's turn to be embarrassed even though Wes had understood her implication perfectly it was still so far beyond the realm of whom she really was that she couldn't believe she had offered it up.

But lately her heart had had less and less to do with making her happy Wes however did hold the key to keeping her body content.

It seemed like the obvious solution.

"Not interested?" Lily said a little afraid to hear the answer.

"Oh…no I'm interested just a little surprised." Wes admitted thinking he couldn't believe she was willing to let him have the pleasure of being with her without asking for the commitment.

This was definitely his lucky day. Still he thought she had no idea what she was getting herself into it.

"I respect you too much to let you do this." Wes said with finality.

Feeling there were no more words left Lily did the only thing she could think of and went to stand directly in front of Wes bringing his lips down to meet her soft pliant ones in a pulse pounding ,heart stopping kiss.

Wes wanted to move away but his desire to be right where he was at that moment was even stronger. Lily opened doors in his body that no one ever knew existed before including himself.

He couldn't imagine how strong Martin must have been to have let go of a woman who could make you feel like this but then he realized this was a bond that he alone shared with her and it was why she had been so willing to compromise to be with him.

Sitting next to Martin learning how to sail Ruthie could not have been happier. The feel of his strong arms as they surrounded her on either side, showing her how to change tack, sent warm waves of pleasure coursing through her belly.

As the wind began to calm a little Martin moved away from Ruthie and went down below deck to the small sleeping cabin.

Curious Ruthie peered around to see where he had gone and saw that there was a small space with barely enough headroom that housed a bed not much else.

"Looks cozy." Ruthie said leaning over far enough to give Martin a kiss as he started back up.

"And cozy is a bad thing?" Martin said a smirk on his face as he brought up a wicker basket and sat it down before her on the bench.

"Cozy is good." Ruthie promised as she watched him unpack the lunch of sandwiches, chips and in a surprising twist a bottle of champagne.

"I'm not old enough to drink." Ruthie pointed out.

"It's only one glass and I won't tell if you don't." Martin promised.

"Are we celebrating something?" Ruthie asked wondering if she should be remembering something she wasn't.

"How about being together?" Martin volunteered as he managed to open the champagne and pour Ruthie a glass.

Ruthie loved how grown up Martin made her feel. People had spent so much of her life telling her she was too young to do this or too young to do that…Martin made her feel like an adult.

It was a perfect day and Martin had thought of everything. But as Ruthie sat nestled in his arms watching the sunset with him he knew the time had come for him to keep his promise to Lucy.

"I have to tell you something." Martin started causing Ruthie to turn to face him.

Now that the moment was here Martin was wishing it wasn't. She seemed so content and happy sitting here with him.

"What is it?" Ruthie said taking in the serious look on Martin's face.

"You know I love you and will always be there for you when you need me…right?" Martin asked needing Ruthie's clarification that she knew she would always have him to turn to.

It was times like this where knowing Martin as well as she did didn't always work to her benefit. Ruthie could tell that whatever Martin had to tell her it was bad news.

And she was right.

"Just tell me whatever it is Martin…I can take it" promised Ruthie.

Martin knew she could "take it" as she put it but he also knew she would be heartbroken and that part made him falter at first.

Finally though with the truth on his lips he told her what he had been holding at bay all day.

"You're dad is sick again Ruthie…it's his heart." Martin said sadly.

Ruthie knew what Martin was saying was true but a part of her wanted to deny it anyway to pretend he had it all wrong.

"Lucy told you this?" Ruthie asked in an accusatory tone.

"Yes and she asked me to tell you." Martin said filling in the blanks for Ruthie.

"So that's what this day was all about? You thought you'd butter me up before feeding me the bad news?" Now that Martin heard it said out loud he realized the error of not telling her first and then trying to cheer her up.

"I just wanted you to have one good day before having to deal with it." Martin said trying to explain his actions.

Ruthie was still a little angry probably more at the situation than Martin's behavior but not unlike the time on the lake she had no where to go and no one else to turn to.

He really did know her well. If he had told her this news at his apartment she would have been harder to reach out to here on the bay she had no choice but to lean on him.

'How bad is it?" Ruthie asked needing to know.

"It's bad." Martin said ready to go on but Ruthie cut him off.

"Is he going to die?" Ruthie said the tears starting to form behind her eyes.

Martin didn't really know the answer to that as he pulled Ruthie into his arms to console her but Ruthie quickly pulled away.

"Don't coddle me Martin. I want the truth…is he going to die?" Ruthie said the tears of anger and pain clearly flowing now.

"I don't know Ruthie…I think so…yeah. But I don't know for sure." Martin said hating the finality of that statement.

It was more than she could bear as she got quickly up and went down into the small sleeping cabin and lay down on the bed sobbing.

Martin wasn't sure if he should follow her or not he knew sometimes she needed her space to work things out but on the other hand he wanted to be there for her.

As he sat down next to her on the bed he put his hand on her back to comfort her and instinctively she moved closer to him needing the warmth and security of him near her.

She felt like the tears would never stop.

Martin lay down next to Ruthie on the bed and pulled her into his arms his intent to just be there for her.

Wes watched Lily as she lay sleeping they had spent practically the whole day in bed and he was exhausted but content. He wasn't fully ready to admit it but she was getting to him.

A part of him wished he wasn't so jaded and could just let go and live again but the fear of losing his heart again was a powerful motivator to stay commitment free.

Martin and Ruthie's faces were inches apart as he carefully wiped her escaping tears.

The intensity in Martin's eyes spoke volumes to Ruthie about how much he cared for and was concerned for her and it helped with the pain a lot.

She knew she wasn't ever going to be alone again and that some day she and Martin would be married…a thought which started a fresh batch of tears as she thought of someone other than her father having to marry them.

Martin at a lost did not know what to do except hold her close as her sobbing intensified. He knew when she was ready to talk about this situation she would.

He could only imagine what must be going through her mind as the fresh pain of losing his mom at such an early age resurfaced.

Every new thing that came into his life made him just a little bitter that she was not there to experience it with him. It made him sad to think that she would never get to meet Ruthie or know how happy she made him.

That she would never know the man he had become.

As he began to drift off to sleep Martin felt empathy for Ruthie as he knew her thought process would now be the same always a little jaded that her dad missed out on the important moments.

Martin woke up in the middle of the night realizing he and Ruthie had fallen asleep. It hadn't been his plan to stay out all night on Jason's boat so he hoped he wasn't too worried about them.

But realizing the darkness was no friend to navigate back to the dock Martin went up on deck to securely anchor the boat so they would be okay till morning. As he got back down into the cabin he pulled the blanket over Ruthie's sleeping form and lay back down beside her.

Stirring a little Ruthie snuggled closer to Martin and he gladly welcomed her closer to him. The kiss he delivered to her lips had been intended only as a show of affection but her response even in her semi sleepy state triggered something and before they knew it they were making out like love struck school kids.

It felt like a welcome relief to be doing something that made her happy instead of the endless crying which sapped her soul and depressed her.

Both had opted to wear shorts that day and entangled with each other on the bed their naked legs felt electrically charged as they touched together.

Martin felt like he might go crazy with "wanting" for her as his hands freely roamed over her clothed body taking more liberties than he had allowed himself in the past.

Every time they were together like this felt new and fresh but Martin knew this wasn't the answer…losing themselves in each other would only make the pain subside for a while it would never take it away.

Nothing could ever truly take away the pain of losing someone you love.

Martin had made Lucy a promise and kept it now all he could do was be there for Ruthie whenever she needed him and he suspected in the coming months she would need him a lot.

Slowly Martin pulled back from Ruthie looking deep into her eyes the love from his heart shining through in his.

"I love you Ruthie." Martin said smiling as he pulled her close not waiting for her response.

She may be the one that needed him right now but he knew deep down inside she filled a much deeper need in him and he did…he truly loved her for it.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: "Surprise Me"

Author: Juana

Sitting up on deck Martin contemplated the previous night and the tough road that was ahead for Ruthie wishing he had some magic pill or potion that could make the Reverend better so that Ruthie could have him in her life a bit longer.

But he knew the circle of life had a beginning and end for a reason…even if he didn't quite understand that reason.

He had put the pieces together and realized that without his mom getting sick they would probably never have moved to Glen Oak and he questioned if his dad hadn't gone to war would he ever have gotten to know Ruthie the way he had…somehow he doubted it.

Living with the Camdens' had made him a better man than he probably would have been under different circumstances like living with his wild child Aunt.

Aunt Betsy was a good person but her parenting skills were sadly lacking.

Below deck as she began to wake Ruthie stretched a satisfying stretch and reached beside her for Martin.

Feeling nothing but empty bed beside her she became immediately alert and grabbed the blanket off the bed and put it around her shoulders before heading up the small steps of the cabin to find him, which on a small sailboat wasn't too hard a task.

As she sat down next to him on the bench seat he turned to her and smiled immediately putting his arm around her as he rewarded her with a gorgeous smile, it was a smile she knew she would never tire of seeing.

"Morning sleepyhead" Martin said as he pulled her close in a warming hug.

"Morning." Ruthie said sleep still very much a part of her as she yawned.

Sitting in silence next to her Martin marveled at how comfortable it was between them how even just sharing the quiet moments felt so right. It was just another indication to Martin how perfect he and Ruthie were for each other.

And the setting could not have been more perfect as the sun began to rise bringing with it the new day.

Now fully dressed Lily sat on the side of Wes' bed putting on her shoes when suddenly two arms came around her from behind and she could feel Wes' chest pressed closely against her back.

"Leaving so soon?" Wes said his morning voice sexy and low sending shivers up Lily's spine.

"I…uh…I have plans." Lily said not at all confident that Wes' wouldn't' know she was lying.

"Oh." Wes said disappointment in his voice. "I thought maybe you'd stay for breakfast. I make a mean crepe…any filling you want."

"That's a sweet offer but I really need to go." Lily stated unwilling to turn around and give in to the desire she felt to just be here with him.

She had compromised everything she believed yesterday to do that and it wasn't sitting well with her.

Lily was a girl who wanted passion and fireworks no doubt…but it all paled for her if it was shrouded in a relationship that lacked commitment.

"Is it a guy?" Did her really just ask her that Wes thought feeling a little stupid that he was coming off like a jealous boyfriend.

On first instinct Lily wanted to assure Wes that it wasn't because that's what a girl interested in a guy would do but what did friends with benefits do?

Did she really owe Wes any reassurance that she had no other potential prospects in her life?

No she decided…she didn't.

"I think this might be a lot easier if we didn't talk about other people we might be seeing." Lily said trying to set some boundaries.

"Okay." Wes agreed reluctantly realizing the spot he was in was the one he had put himself in.

He knew he didn't want Lily seeing other guys but he also knew what it would take to make that happen and he just wasn't there yet.

His only comfort was that knowing she stilled loved Martin it was unlikely she would start dating again any time soon. Or at least he hoped so.

It frustrated Lily how completely Olivia had damaged Wes. He trusted no one now.

Lily realized Wes was going to be a tough nut to crack as the shield he erected around himself after Olivia left him came back and the mask of tenderness he had shown her last night was now gone.

Arriving back at the apartment after their overnight sailing excursion Ruthie and Martin had decided it was time to head back to Glen Oak which was why they were now sitting in the patio area of "Pipes", a Del Mar eatery famous for it's cash only credo and intensely satisfying Kona Coffee, waiting for the food they had ordered to be delivered to the table.

As they were heading back to Los Angeles they had both realized they were starved and Martin had suggested "Pipes" having been there before on many occasions, the long line outside had at first seemed daunting but Martin had promised Ruthie it would be worth it.

And he had been right as the food arrived and Ruthie bit into the steamy, delicious Shipwreck Burrito with gusto stopping only to wash it down with a steaming sip of Mexican Hot Chocolate.

It probably would have surprised another guy to see Ruthie packing it away but Martin having lived with her for two years had seen her clear her plate on more than one occasion.

"I see you still have your appetite." Martin said jokingly.

"I love food. I don't see a problem with that." Ruthie said a wide grin on her face topped off with a whip cream mustache from her hot chocolate.

Martin smirked as her pulled her close to give her a kiss using his tongue to expertly shave the whip cream mustache right off.

"Okay that was a wet one." Ruthie said using her finger to remove the remaining remnants of whip cream.

"It had to be done." Matter said matter of fact the smirk once again in place.

Dipping her finger into a huge glob of whip cream Ruthie got up and sat in Martin's lap scaring him a little as he was unsure what she was about to do.

"I had no idea you were such a fan of whipped cream." Ruthie said a sexy lilt in her tone.

She was clearly teasing him as she sat on his lap playfully licking the whip cream ever so gently off her finger.

How foolish she was to forget that two could play this game.

Reaching for the remaining whipped cream Martin purposefully dabbed it on her neck and without warning began sensuously kissing her neck sucking up the whipped cream as he went his warm breath sending heated waves coursing through her body before he whispered into her ear…"Someday I'll show you just exactly how huge a fan of whipped cream I am."

Mac and Margaret stood in the kitchen checking the cupboards for anything they could serve their guests for lunch having received an early morning text from Martin saying that he and Ruthie were headed back to Glen Oak and would like to have a late lunch with them.

"We could go to the promenade and get pizza." Mac said trying to be helpful.

"Or you could have just done the grocery shopping like you promised me." Margaret said more than a little frustrated that Mac had let her down.

"It's actually Jane's turn." Mac reminded Margaret.

"And if she was ever actually home I would count on her but ever since she and Ian hooked up again she's like a ghost." Margaret said feeling it unnecessary to state the obvious to Mac.

Mac hated how much he and Margaret had been fighting lately. It seemed liked nothing he did anymore was ever good enough for her.

Even when he was trying to be helpful like the other day when he had cleaned the bathrooms…again Jane's turn…she had balked at his idea of clean compared to hers.

He had decided then and there that he was madly in love with a psycho.

"Ruthie and Martin will be fine with pizza at the promenade and I will do the shopping tomorrow…I promise." Mac said trying to smooth things over.

"Do not let me down again Mac." Margaret said an ominous tone to her voice.

Before Mac could reply Jane came through the door with Ian in tow.

"Oh my God she lives." Mac said no amusement in his tone.

Jane had been shirking her household responsibilities big time and he was the one suffering for it.

"Nice to see you too bonehead." Jane said digging at what she knew to be Mac's vulnerable spot…his intelligence.

"So why are you here exactly since I'm pretty sure it's not to do chores?" Mac threw out maliciously.

"Very funny if I haven't been living here what chores could I possibly have?" Jane said seriously believing absence gave her a "get out of chores" free card.

Mac waited for Margaret to say something but when she stood meekly by he had had enough.

'If you don't live here anymore than why are we housing your stuff? Mac said annoyed beyond words at this point with her.

"Maybe you should take a step back dude she does pay you rent." Ian interjected.

"No one asked you so back off!" Mac said with a threatening tone in his voice

'Let's go Jane this is obviously hostile territory." Ian stated now just wanting to get out of there and away from her loony bin roommates.

"No…as you pointed out I do pay rent so I feel like staying in the apartment today." Jane said knowing it would annoy Mac if she did.

"You need to go." Margaret said finally speaking up to everyone's surprise.

"And why is that." Jane said daring her friend to defend her request.

"You just do." Margaret said backing down again as Jane glared at her.

"Can I speak to you in the other room for a second?" Mac asked motioning to Jane.

"Fine but it isn't going to change anything I've made up my mind." Jane said putting on her stubborn face.

As the entered the bedroom Mac turned on Jane.

"Martin is coming back to Glen Oak today he'll be here any minute now." Mac said hoping this would clear the air for Jane.

"And?" Jane said clearly not getting it.

"And he's bringing Ruthie with him." Mac said hoping it was as obvious to her as it was to him why having Ian here was a bad idea.

Jane felt like she was going to be sick. It was too early for Ian to see Ruthie again Jane was still trying to establish a real relationship with him, not one based on just sex…and she was close…really close she could feel it.

"We'll go." Jane said now more willing to be compliant than earlier.

"Thank you." Mac said sincerely.

Martin and Ruthie pulled up to her parent's house in Glen Oak having made great time and hitting very little traffic on the freeway.

"I need to speak to Mac for a second." Ruthie told Martin. "Could you maybe hang back at the house for like ten minutes before you come over? She said mysteriously.

"What could you possibly have to talk to Mac about?" Martin said intrigued.

"It's a surprise…for you. So stop being so nosey and take my bags into the house please?" Ruthie said a pleading look on her face.

"Are you sure this isn't just a way to get me to do all the grunt work by myself?" Martin said mischievously.

"I promise you…I do have a surprise for you…a really good one. Now go before you spoil it. "Ruthie ordered.

Martin bent down and gave Ruthie a kiss on the lips hoisting her bag on his shoulder before picking up his.

"I'm going to let your parents know we are here and then I'm going to grab a soda out of the refrigerator…you have exactly ten minutes." Martin informed her.

"Thank you." Ruthie said giving him a hug before heading over to Mac and Margaret's apartment just across the yard.

Inside Jane's bedroom Ian was being less than cooperative.

"I can't believe your going to let them kick you out of your own apartment just because they have someone coming over." Ian said pissed off.

It wasn't that they couldn't go to his place they could but lately his roommate had been getting on his case about having Jane over all the time. Nick was a man of many women and he thought Ian getting with just Jane was an affront to manhood.

He didn't want to deal with Nick's bullshit today and besides that he thought Jane needed to stand up to her loser roommates and not let them push her around.

Particularly Mac he annoyed the hell out of him.

Jane was stuck Ian was being stubborn she was going to have to tell him about Martin and Ruthie and hope for the best.

"Fine…I wasn't going to tell you but the "guests" Mac and Margaret have coming over today are Martin and Ruthie." Jane said finally revealing the truth.

Ian felt like someone had punched him.

The last thing he wanted was to see Ruthie with the guy who had stolen her away from him but there was no way in hell he was leaving now just so they could feel comfortable.

If it was the last thing he ever did he was going to make sure this day sucked big time for the both of them.

Jane realized her mistake as soon as the words were out of her mouth. And it hurt more than just a little knowing Ruthie still had such a hold over Ian.

Mac who had been standing look out at the door saw Ruthie as she was coming up the steps and hurried out to meet her making it a point to grab on to her hand so he could pull her back down the stairs with him.

"I assume you have good reason for manhandling me? Ruthie said wanting an explanation and quick.

Mac wasted no time realizing he had very little if any time to fill Ruthie in before Jan convinced Ian to leave the apartment.

"Ian is in the apartment and like the jerk he is he is refusing to leave." Mac said waiting for Ruthie's reaction.

"Ian's here?" Ruthie said not having even considered the possibility of running into him again.

Quickly Mac got Ruthie up to speed on the fact that Jane and Ian had been seeing each other pretty regularly since she had broken up with him.

"Why don't you and Martin meet me and Margaret at the pizza place?" "It's a good way to avoid him." Mac suggested.

"Okay…but I was actually coming by for the letter can you get it for me?" Ruthie asked knowing she needed it to complete her surprise.

"I'll bring it to the pizza place." Mac promised.

Ruthie knew that was probably the better solution but letting Ian win didn't even register as an option for her.

"Is it in the apartment?" Ruthie asked heading up the steps.

"You are stubborn I'll give you that." Mac said as he followed her up the steps.

Stepping into the Camden kitchen was like stepping back in time for Martin.

He hadn't been here in two years and it still felt like home, still held so many memories both bad and good.

He'd fought with just about every Camden in this very room as he had muddled through his teen angst years with them.

His most prominent memory still had to be the night he stood in this very kitchen with Ruthie and had told her about Sandy being pregnant. He had never seen her that upset before and hoped never to again as he remembered the words she said that had shot straight to his heart.

Still lost in thought Martin was pleasantly surprised to turn around and see Mrs. Camden.

"Oh Martin it's so wonderful to see you." Annie said throwing her arms around him in a warm motherly hug.

Martin knew no one would ever replace his mother but Annie Camden came close she was so much a part of his heart and memories and he knew she felt the same way.

"It's great to see you too." Martin said returning his own heart felt hug.

Annie could not believe how much Martin had matured in his absence from Glen Oak he was no longer the young teenager she and Eric had help raise but a full fledged man.

"Would you like some brownies or pie?" Annie said reminding him of the old familiar staples of the Camden household.

"Actually I just came in to tell you and Reverend Camden that Ruthie and I were here and then I was going to grab a soda and head over to Macs'.

"Well I guess we'll just have to catch up later then. I'm looking forward to hearing about San Diego. We could do dinner here tonight if you're interested." Annie offered.

"I'd like that." Martin said a sincere smile on his face.

"Good…I'll make your favorites." She promised.

"Great. I should probably get these bags upstairs any idea where I'll be sleeping." Martin asked knowing there was no way it was going to be next to Ruthie like the previous night.

"I made up the bed in your old room." Annie said smiling sweetly at him.

"Okay…well I know the way then I'll just go put these away and well see you later for dinner." Martin said before heading up the back staircase.

As Martin got just out of earshot Reverend Camden came rushing into the room.

"Is Martin here?" He asked out of breath.

"Yes…why" Annie said a little concerned at her husbands color.

"Good. We need to keep him here until Ruthie gets back." Eric answered still a little winded.

"What aren't you telling me?" Annie said wisely.

Eric took a second to catch his breath his heart problems evident in that moment. Finally he stood back up straight and began to tell Annie the reason they needed to stall Martin.

"Mac called. Ian and Ruthie are having a fight over at the apartment and he's afraid if Martin shows up…

"If Martin shows up where? " Martin said coming down the stairs having only heard half the conversation.

Busted Reverend Camden came clean to Martin not really having the ability to lie and Martin was out the door like a shot headed straight for Macs and a showdown with Ian if necessary.

"I think that might have been a good time for a little white lie." Annie said fearing Martin might do something stupid.

"It might just have been." Eric admitted unsure what to do next follow Martin or let him do what he needed to do.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: 'What A Mess I've Made"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

It was easy to think you would do things different given the chance but Martin didn't really think that was the case here.

Even though he now sat in a dank, musty holding cell with what felt like a broken jaw and painful swelling in his left eye he knew that given the chance he'd deck Ian again no problem.

The guy was a total jerk who unfortunately now held Martin's fate in his hands having pressed assault charges against him in a spiteful move.

Although he didn't exactly deserve to be here he wasn't exactly innocent either.

He had started the fight but there was no way in hell that Ian hadn't deserved that first extremely satisfying blow to his smug face.

Ruthie could not believe she was sitting in a police station with Mac while her parents scrambled desperately to find a way to get Martin released from jail.

But the bad news just kept on coming Martin's bail was set at $15,000 dollars way more than either Ruthie, Mac or her parents could afford.

And all Ruthie could think was that it just wasn't fair Martin hadn't really done anything wrong or at least any more wrong than Ian.

They had both tore into each other landing punches left and right, but because Martin had thrown the first punch by law it was considered assault.

It was almost too surreal to believe that Ian had gone and pressed charges again Martin just to be a jerk.

Working backwards in her mind Ruthie tried to figure out where it all gone so haywire.

She knew now that she should have just left instead of going into the apartment but knowing that in hindsight didn't really help the situation Martin was in now.

Ruthie knew that she was the one to blame for all of this after all she was the one who had gone into Mac's apartment thus setting this catastrophe in motion.

And she kept reliving it all now again and again in her mind.

Mac had been desperate to get her out of there and away from a potentially bad situation but stubborn and determined Ruthie had headed up the stairs to the apartment anyway and walked purposefully through the front door.

"Hey Margaret how are you?" Ruthie said a cheery smile on her face.

Margaret looked like she had seen a ghost. Mac was supposed to have stopped Ruthie and Martin not ushered them in to the lions den to be devoured.

"I wanted to say thank you for all the help you gave me with my surprise for Martin. " Ruthie said sincere in her appreciation.

Margaret was still trying to find words.

"You…you do know that Ian is here…in the bedroom with Jane right now…right?" Margaret questioned clearly wondering about Ruthie's sanity.

"I know. I just came by to pick up the letter so I can show it to Martin. You do have it right?" Ruthie asked looking straight at Margaret.

Now it was Mac's turn to speak up.

"We do…it's just that it's on the nightstand in the bedroom… the bedroom that Ian and Jane are in right now." Mac said sheepishly.

Ruthie could hear Ian and Jane's raised voices coming through the door making it obvious that they were in a heated argument.

A part of Ruthie wished Mac had mentioned that little tidbit of info outside because now for better or worse she was committed.

Walking purposefully to the door Ruthie knocked on it.

Slowly it opened just beyond a crack to reveal an upset and angry Jane.

"What are you doing here?" Jane hissed at Ruthie unable to hide her dislike of her.

"You have something in there that I need." Ruthie stated matter of fact.

"You are unreal isn't Martin enough for you!" Jane said misunderstanding Ruthie's meaning.

"I was talking about the letter in there…not the loser." Ruthie countered cleverly.

Having heard Ruthie's remark Ian pulled the door out of Jane's grasp to stand beside her.

"I'd be careful who you piss off Ruthie because some of us here know all your dirty little secrets." Ian said with an ominous tone.

One of the things Ian had totally dug about Ruthie was her inability to back down even when it was in her best interest to.

If it was a fight she wanted he wasn't above fighting back.

Mac was a little surprised to see Ruthie back down a little after Ian's statement because in his interpretation that meant she really did have something to hide which surprised him even more because he thought he'd been doing a damn fine job of keeping tabs on her for Martin but apparently not.

"I just need to get a letter that is in there on the nightstand and I'll be out of your life." Ruthie said starting to head in the door but Ian wouldn't let her pass.

"You are out of my life." He said staring down at her.

Jane couldn't help smiling at that remark as she stepped out to let Ruthie pass so she could get the letter and get out.

But it turned out to be a miscalculation on Jane's part as Ian quickly shut the door behind Ruthie and locked it to keep her inside with him.

"You can't be serious." Ruthie said acting braver than she really felt in this moment.

On the other side of the door Mac pounded on it demanding Ian to open it.

It was in that moment of panic when Ian wouldn't open the door that Mac had ended up calling Reverend Camden to try and keep Martin away.

Because knowing Martin as well as he did Mac knew he would go ballistic if he knew Ian had Ruthie locked in the bedroom with him.

Ian didn't have any intentions of hurting Ruthie he just wanted to talk to her…actually to yell at her for being such a witch to him.

For taking the year he had spent with her and turning it into crap.

"You don't need to lock the door Ian. If you want to talk…we'll talk" Ruthie said a little less sure of herself now.

"It's not you I'm worried about. I unlock that door Mac is in here in a flash probably with Martin right behind him. And then I don't get the chance to say what I want to say." Ian stated.

Unsure what that really was Ian moved to the nightstand and picked up the letter turning it over and over in his hand looking at Ruthie as he noticed the return address.

"San Diego State University…let me guess Martin lives in San Diego." Ian said his anger now at a low boil.

Ruthie had had enough. Her life was no longer Ian's to worry about.

"This is none of your business!" Ruthie said raising her voice in anger.

"What happened to Scotland Ruthie?" Ian said glaring at her now.

"I changed my mind." Ruthie said volunteering as little information as possible.

"You don't even have a mind of your own anymore he's making all the decisions for you." Ian said accusingly.

"Not that I owe you any explanation but Martin doesn't even know yet." Ruthie spat.

"You changed your college plans without telling him? I wonder then what else you haven't told him about." Ian pondered aloud.

Ruthie knew exactly what things Ian was alluding to and it made her more than nervous which is where she was sure the lie had come from.

"I don't have any secrets from Martin." She said trying to convince Ian.

"Since when does the good little church girl lie? Ian questioned but quickly moved on not waiting for her response.

"Whatever…if that is the case then you won't mind if I have a talk with him." Ian said heading to the door to open it but as he got it unlocked and partially opened Ruthie moved to push it shut leaning up against it.

"Fine…he doesn't know everything yet but I will tell him when the time is right so just stay out of it!" Ruthie angrily ordered.

Ian couldn't help thinking that this was the closest he'd been to Ruthie in weeks now as he propped his arm casually up against the door in a stare down with her.

"I don't think I will." Ian said enjoying Ruthie's discomfort.

"Why just because you know you'll be hurting me?" Ruthie asked in disbelief.

"No…unfortunately you I still like and want. Him…him I hate…him I want to hurt" Ian said spitefully.

Ruthie didn't really know what to say or do Ian definitely held all the cards here.

And now instead of being belligerent he was calming down and staring at her like he had so many times in the past.

No one else had believed that he loved her when they were going out but Ruthie knew that he had and that she had somehow touched him deeper than anyone else he'd ever dated.

"If you told me it was a mistake…I would forgive you…I would take you back." Ian said softening towards her his anger at bay for the moment.

He knew his chances that he could change things weren't good…but he loved her…so he at least had to try.

It was easier for Ruthie when Ian was angry…this Ian reminded her of better times…times before he had started getting with Jane behind her back.

He was too close and she knew it but she was stunned by his words. In the initial break-up he had been angry and belligerent and she'd thought…"good riddance."

She hadn't thought about how much she might have hurt him.

This was too hard but she owed him the truth.

"It wasn't a mistake. I'm with Martin now because it's where I want to be." Ruthie said trying to be sensitive to Ian's feelings.

Ian didn't want to believe her he wanted to believe his deluded interpretation that he could see love in her eyes and her lips that were calling him in.

Defiantly Ian went for it and planted what could only be described as a kiss of possession on Ruthie and she angrily pushed him away.

"Don't ever do that again!" Ruthie said angry and upset at him. It was all to much and she needed to leave, to get away from him, so she quickly opened the bedroom door and ran without stopping towards the apartment door and down the outside stairs straight into Martin.

"Whoa…what's the hurry? Are you okay?" Martin asked as he noticed for the first time the tears running down Ruthie's face.

Ruthie knew they were tears of anger but Martin didn't know that and he thought she was hurt.

It was almost immediately after Ruthie that Mac came charging out of the apartment.

"What's going on?" Martin asked confused.

"Reverend Camden told me that Ruthie was having a fight with Ian did he hurt her…Did he hurt you?" Martin said looking at Ruthie now not waiting for Mac to answer.

She should have answered him but being in his arms she lost it and collapsed in to uncontrollable sobbing instead.

And it was pretty sad timing for Ian to finally exit the apartment and come eye to eye with his rival. Quickly Martin moved Ruthie into Mac's arms to face Ian standing tall.

"What did you do to her?!" Martin said his temper about to explode.

"You mean now or when we were dating?" Ian asked sarcastically trying his best to push Martin's buttons.

Ruthie balked at Ian's bluntness and once again Mac was struck with the thought that Ruthie had more than a little something to hide.

Martin knew Ian was trying to get a rise out of him so he tried to keep his temper in check.

"I'm not going to ask you again…what did you say or do to upset her?!" Martin said a threatening tone now in his voice.

"Maybe you should have Ruthie tell you." Ian volunteered. "I wouldn't want to ruin her change at honesty." Ian said satisfied he'd laid the ground work for a nasty fight between them as he turned to walk away.

But he only got a few feet before Martin grabbed him forcing him to stop.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Martin asked ready to refute whatever lies Ian delivered.

Ruthie knew she had to do something quick. Ian was minutes away from destroying her.

'Just let him go Martin. I'm fine." Ruthie said wiping at her tears to make that statement more believable.

But Martin wasn't hearing her anymore he was focused on Ian and the information he was so desperate for Martin to know.

"I asked you a question." Martin said in reminder to Ian.

'Well for starters…she can't keep her lips off me." Ian volunteered.

"Ruthie did not kiss you. That's a lie." Martin said defending Ruthie.

"Is it really so hard to believe she'd have trouble kissing another guy when she has a boyfriend?" Ian said getting a dig in about how Martin and Ruthie's current relationship had started.

Martin turned immediately to Ruthie.

"He kissed me…I pushed him off." Ruthie said knowing it sounded lame and like a cover-up.

Martin was stunned and found him self silently questioning if Ruthie was telling him the truth or if something more had transpired between her and Ian.

But if he didn't believe Ruthie now he knew they had much bigger problems than Ian…so he sided with her.

"You kissed my girlfriend?" Martin said starting to get pissed off.

"Just like you kissed mine…so I guess were even." Ian stated.

Mac being Mac chose this moment to try and lighten the tension.

"He does kind of have a point there." Mac said only semi-joking.

Simultaneously Ruthie and Martin turned to Mac and shouted "Shut up Mac!"

"What? I'm just saying…" Mac defended weakly his voice dying off as he became embarrassed at his failed attempt to try and lighten the mood.

"So is that it?" Martin asked turning back to Ian just a little bit afraid to find out there might be more.

'Ask Ruthie." Ian said giving her is best 'I got the better of you" grin.

Ruthie was livid with Ian for doing this. Yes she had some things she hadn't shared with Martin…but nothing she wasn't eventually going to share on her own timetable.

"Ruthie?" Martin said giving her a chance to shut Ian down.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Ruthie said a pleading look in her eyes.

This was not what Martin had wanted to hear…he had wanted Ruthie to say that her ex was a lying loser.

Martin turned immediately back to Ian.

"I don't know what you were hoping to accomplish here but whatever it is that Ruthie has to tell me…I'm going to be okay with it." Martin said trying hard to believe that he was telling the truth.

Ruthie was grateful to Martin for not making her confess her shortcomings in front of everyone else but as she reached towards his hand to take it he stuck them in his pockets.

"We can go across the street to my dad's house. I have a feeling this isn't a talk for your parents house." Martin reluctantly stated.

"Okay." Ruthie said in sad agreement.

Before leaving Martin walked over to Jane directing his request to her.

"I want him gone when we get back or I will not be responsible for my actions." Martin promised turning now to walk away with Ruthie following behind him.

Jane knew following Martin's request would be the wisest thing to do but Ian wouldn't budge.

"There's no way I'm leaving now this is just about to get really good." Ian informed them.

Walking inside his dad's house Martin threw the house key on the table before taking a seat and motioning for Ruthie to do the same.

"I knew he wasn't going to give up easy." Martin stated as soon as she took a seat.

"So what's the big secret? What does your ex think I should know that obviously from the look on your face I don't?" Martin said directing his full attention on Ruthie.

If it was possible for the earth to swallow you up that was what Ruthie wanted to happen right now…or an earthquake…an earthquake would be good or a tornado…but Glen Oak wasn't actually tornado territory so she was stuck.

"Will you promise me not to get angry?" Ruthie questioned hopefully.

'No…and that's a ridiculous request. If you did something that I deserve to be upset about…I'm going to be upset."

"So what did you do Ruthie?" Martin asked his patience wearing thin now at her stalling.

Ruthie knew that Ian had been alluding to two different things and she wondered if there was any way she could get away with just revealing the one thinking Martin didn't really need to know the other but she realized quickly that if he found out one he would be able to figure out the other.

The problem was…which one to tell him first.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: "What A Mess I've Made-Pt.2"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

Kevin entered the police station holding area scouring the cells looking for a familiar face, as he reached the end of the row he finally found Martin in the very last one.

He was sitting with his head in his hands clearly not happy at the outcome of this day.

Unfortunately the job of telling Martin about the bail situation had fallen to Kevin so his day wasn't about to get any better.

The facts were that Martin was stuck here until the Camdens could come up with the money to get him released and so far it wasn't looking good.

Reverend and Mrs. Camden didn't own the house they lived in, the church did, and so had no real collateral to put up.

Ruthie had her college money and had pleaded with her father to let her use it, but he said that would be a last resort ,as he thought it was a really bad idea, knowing they would never be able to afford to send her to college if she used it.

And Lucy and Kevin although they had a house had already put themselves in a financial bind by always generously bailing out their siblings during the years.

And unfortunately none of those siblings had seen fit to pay them back and had simply written off their help as gifts.

Martin told Kevin he understood and that he didn't want anyone to feel responsible for bailing him out knowing it would be a long time before he could pay them back.

"Don't try and be the good guy here Martin. If someone manages to come up with the money you take it." Kevin ordered him.

"They'll get the money back as soon as you show up for your trial." Kevin assured him.

Martin couldn't believe this…Kevin was talking trials and the possibility of a record and all Martin could hear was his chance at a baseball career being flushed down the toilet.

"I didn't do anything wrong…it was a fist fight." Martin lamented.

Kevin decided it was time for a dose of reality for Martin.

"Yes…you did. You hit someone in anger and you threw the first punch which technically makes you the aggressor. You did do something wrong. Because if you didn't you wouldn't be here." Kevin stated his law abiding side coming out.

Martin knew it was useless to try and justify to Kevin of all people why he had hit Ian a part of him wasn't even sure why he had.

Yes…when Ruthie had finally come clean to him and told him the truth it had sucked but he couldn't truly blame Ian, Ruthie still had a mind of own just one she apparently hadn't been using.

'I know Ruthie is waiting outside to come back and see you so I'll go get her." Kevin informed him as he prepared to walk away.

But Martin stopped him. "I don't want to see her."

"She's pretty upset right now." Kevin told him expecting that to change his mind.

"I don't really expect you to understand this but she's pretty much the last person I want to see right now." Martin said offering Kevin no explanation.

But Kevin wasn't leaving without one so reluctantly Martin filled Kevin in on everything he had found out that afternoon.

"Our Ruthie?" Kevin said in a state of shock.

"Yes." Martin confirmed. "Our Ruthie."

"Does her dad know any of this?" Kevin asked hoping he didn't.

"I don't think so…but you never know with him…he has his ways." Martin said remembering the many times he had tried unsuccessfully to slide something past the Reverend in the two years he had lived with the Camdens'.

"So what am I supposed to tell her when she asks to come back here?" Kevin questioned.

"The truth…I'm not ready to see her yet." Martin said in response.

He didn't really want to think about how he had gotten into this mess but sitting in a locked cell can leave a lot of free time and he just couldn't shut his brain off from his last conversation with Ruthie…and how it had lead him to the place he was now.

After they had arrived at his dad's house Martin had waited patiently for her to open up to him but it just wasn't happening fast enough for him so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Let me help you out here because I think I know what it is Ian is hinting at." Martin offered.

Ruthie looked at Martin relieved that she wasn't going to have to be the one to start this conversation.

"I think he's saying that you and he have been a lot closer than I originally thought." Martin said kind of choking on the thought.

"Yes." Ruthie admitted albeit reluctantly.

It was one word but it held such a powerful kick as Martin felt a burst of jealousy.

He wished it could be enough just knowing that but it wasn't…now he needed to know everything. He didn't want Ian blindsiding him again.

"How close did you get with him Ruthie?" Martin questioned reluctant to know the answer but needing to all the same.

"I didn't sleep with him if that's what you're thinking." Ruthie said defensively.

"I never said that. I just asked what you did and you should probably know that it doesn't lessen whatever you did do by offering up what you didn't do." Martin said his understanding starting to wane.

"I was merely letting you know I haven't done what you did…twice." Ruthie said annoyed now at what she construed as his lack of understanding.

"This isn't about me or what I did and besides that I didn't lie to you." Martin reminded her, his conscience not quite clear at that statement.

"I didn't lie to you either." Ruthie said defending herself.

"No…you just avoided telling me anything." Martin said letting her know he was aware now of what she had been doing.

"And when was I supposed to do that? It's not exactly an everyday conversation." Ruthie said still looking for some shred of understanding.

"Well here's your chance." Martin said leaning back in the chair totally done with listening to her justifications.

Ruthie figured if this was the moment of truth the faster she got it out the better and she steeled herself for the wreckage her life could realistically become after Martin knew the truth.

The decision would truly be his after today whether or not to continue the relationship they had started.

Ian had won he had wanted to break them apart and he just might be getting his wish thought Ruthie sadly.

"We almost slept together…but I stopped it because I realized that I didn't love him and I didn't want my first time to be with someone I didn't love." Ruthie said rushing the words just to get them out.

Martin didn't know what he had expected maybe more hemming and hawing before she slowly revealed the truth but her blunt force statement knocked the wind out of him. He was shocked.

He didn't need the play by play…he knew what "almost" sleeping with someone entailed and it pierced his male pride to think of Ian being that close and intimate with Ruthie.

"I knew it was a mistake as it was happening but I wanted to keep him away from Jane" Ruthie said still trying to explain her reasoning.

"And you thought sleeping with him would do that?!" Martin said angry now.

"I didn't really think it through." Ruthie confessed ashamed.

"No…you didn't…because I'll tell you what would have happened, the minute Ian got what he was after he would have been gone and you would have been left alone regretting your impulsive decision." Martin said as if he could have predicted the future.

Ruthie knew it made Martin feel better to think that Ian would have bolted so she refrained from telling him any different. Ian was the past and if she could get past this day with Martin he was her future and she needed him.

"If it helps it was just the one time." Ruthie offered as a type of condolence.

Martin had had enough.

"Okay just so you know…that doesn't help." Martin said fighting to keep his temper in check.

Because right now he just wanted to find Ian and beat him senseless.

He didn't know what to do his head was spinning…he loved her with everything he had but he was definitely upset at her for keeping this from him.

Getting up from the kitchen table he walked over to the window turning his back to her. He needed time to process.

"Are you okay?" Ruthie said cautiously.

Hurt by all that had transpired Martin turned back towards Ruthie at that statement and finally lost it.

"Seriously?! Exactly what part of this do you think I should be okay with?" Martin

snapped at her in anger.

Ruthie felt like she couldn't win.

"You asked me to tell you the truth and I told you the truth…you can't throw that back in my face now." Ruthie told him her temper started to flare.

"And how do I know it's really the truth and not just a watered down version you're giving me?" Martin said knowing he sounded like a jerk but unable to stop himself.

"You think after all of this I would lie to you?" Ruthie said stunned.

"Lets just say in my own personal experience…you have a hard time with the world "no." Martin threw out hurtfully.

Ruthie was speechless at what Martin was insinuating about her but he wasn't done his jealously having taken over.

"I could have easily gotten you to sleep with me already." Martin said in recognition of the many times he had stopped them from progressing things. "Why should I believe a guy like Ian who cares only about himself wasn't successful?"

Ruthie was in tears now unable to believe that Martin could be so hypocritical and hurtful.

"I didn't expect you to be okay with this but you don't have to mean and spiteful either.

"You know that what we have is nothing like any of my past relationships. You can't compare you and me to me and Ian…it's different." Ruthie said wiping her tears.

He hated to see her cry but even worse he hated that he was the cause of it because the bottom line was that she was right and he knew in his heart that what they shared was unique to them.

He'd never had a relationship this passionate or volatile in his life before…it was a lot of work.

The truth was that he was being an irrational and he knew it…but it messed with his head to think of her with Ian.

But for better or worse this was their reality and he had to either let go and deal with it or walk away from the relationship with Ruthie…he decided to deal with it.

She drove him completely crazy…but he was pretty sure he'd lose his mind without her in his life too.

"You're right." Martin said surprising Ruthie by backing down.

"I am?" Ruthie said shocked.

'Yes. I can't be mad at you for your past that would just make me a hypocrite." Martin admitted.

Ruthie looked at Martin relieved he was letting his anger go.

"Don't get me wrong…it does bother me that you were that close with Ian but I haven't exactly been a saint so I don't really have a leg to stand on." Martin confessed the understanding finally beginning to come back.

Ruthie wished it could stop there with Martin knowing about her and Ian's physical past but she knew there was more that he deserved to know.

"There's something else…"Ruthie began.

"Please tell me you're kidding." Martin said cutting her off a pleading look in his eyes.

"I wish I could but I did something pretty out of character for me." Ruthie said ready to end all the secrets.

"What did you do?" Martin said dreading the answer but thinking just the same that it couldn't be any worse than knowing about what had happened with Ian.

"He was wrong.

"I let Ian talk me into getting a tattoo." Ruthie confessed waiting with her breath held for the fallout.

Okay Martin didn't really have a problem with tattoos so he was a little confused as to why she would think that was something he wouldn't understand.

And then it dawned on him…he'd never seen a tattoo on her which could only mean it resided in a place not seen by just anyone only those she wanted to see it.

Crazy…she drove him crazy.

"I know I'm going to regret this but…where is the tattoo?" Martin questioned needing her to say somewhere semi okay.

"It's on my backside." Ruthie said embarrassed.

Okay he could deal with this Ian talked her into getting a tattoo on her butt…why did he feel like that was only the tip of the iceberg though?

Ruthie swallowed over the lump in her throat if she went any slower in telling him this it was just going to get harder.

'I didn't choose what the tattoo would be…he did." Ruthie threw out randomly.

Now he got it…it wasn't the getting a tattoo part that she was worried about telling him or even the location of it…it was about the tattoo itself.

Now he was worried.

Ruthie didn't know if it would be easier to tell Martin what the tattoo looked like or to show him. It didn't matter because she knew either way he was going to hate it and she hated herself in that moment for letting herself get talked into it.

"Please tell me it is not his name." Martin said hopefully.

"Not exactly." Ruthie said once again stalling the full truth.

He knew now that he needed to see it. It wasn't Ian's name so it couldn't be too bad but it still obviously had something to do with him and the suspense of not knowing was killing him.

"Maybe you should just show me." Martin suggested.

"Are you sure?" Ruthie questioned afraid of his reaction when he did finally see it.

"Yes. I'm sure…let's get this over with." Martin said steeling himself against a jealous reaction.

Slowly Ruthie turned around and pulled the back of her shorts and underwear down just low enough for Martin to see the tattoo in question.

Martin didn't know what he had hoped for but this was not it.

It was just the outline of a heart about the size of a quarter with the letters I and T inside it.

"IT?" Martin said questioning the meaning.

"Ian Taylor." Ruthie offered apologetically.

Martin felt like someone had kicked him in the head as everything around him became engulfed in a haze of jealous feelings.

"Well this is great. Basically you let him brand you like cattle." Martin said floored by what Ruthie had done.

'He wanted me to get his name but I said no." Ruthie said trying to down play the severity of what she had done as she quickly covered the tattoo back up.

"Oh…well thank God you had some standards." Martin said sarcastically his displeasure evident.

Remembering back now Martin thought that was probably the worst fight he'd ever had with anyone as he and Ruthie had argued back and forth each stopping just short of saying maybe they should end things.

So technically they were still together but emotionally they were miles apart.

He had left his dad's house to get away from her and had even considered driving back to San Diego that night…that was how upset he was with her.

But as he entered the gate to the Camdens' yard everyone was there waiting for them, Mac, Margaret, Jane and him…Ian.

Ian the guy who didn't know how to keep his big mouth shut.

"I can see by the look on your face you are now in the know." Ian said grinning.

"What is he still doing here?!" Martin questioned looking directly at Jane.

But Ian didn't need Jane to answer for him.

"I thought you might need some company. I too know what it's like to be disappointed in Ruthie." Ian said in fake sympathetic whimper.

Martin walked directly up to Ian his anger evident. "Get out!"

"Look it's cool if you don't need a shoulder or anything…but hey maybe I should stick around and see if Ruthie does." Ian said realizing his mistake a minute too late.

Without warning Martin swung at Ian landing a blow to his jaw with a sickening thud.

Ian was surprised at first but quickly recovered and started wailing back on Martin and within minutes the two were rolling around on the Camden grass fists flying everywhere.

Mac tried his best to break them up as Jane and Margaret screamed for them to stop but all he got for his effort was a bloody lip.

"Go get some help." Mac ordered Jane and Margaret as he continued to try and pull the two angry rivals off each other.

Within seconds Jane and Margaret had separately rounded up Kevin and Simon and the trio of guys were finally able to break the two apart just as Ruthie came back through the gate.

"What's going on?" Ruthie asked concerned as she saw both Ian and Martins' battered faces.

"Ask your boyfriend" Ian said still being held back by Simon.

It had taken both Mac and Kevin to finally pull Martin back but now as he saw Ruthie he jerked his arms out of their grasp and walked up to her.

"This is the guy you will be forever attached to." Martin said motioning to Ian. "You should be so proud."

No one really understood what Martin was saying except Ruthie and as he walked back towards his dads' house in an angry huff she followed after him.

"You didn't have to hit him for me." Ruthie said doing her best to try and match his angry strides.

"I didn't. I hit him for me." Martin informed her in no uncertain terms.

Ruthie didn't know if she should follow him into the house or not but since he didn't close the door in her face she decided she would be safe in doing so.

Walking up to the front hall mirror Martin took a look at his face…it was a mess, not to mention his ribs were killing him.

Concerned Ruthie went to the refrigerator in search of ice for Martin's eye and found a frozen bag of peas that she knew would do nicely.

She walked back into the living room with it to find Martin sitting on the couch.

As she tried to put it on his swollen eye he reached up and took it from her.

"I've got it." He said administering it to his eye himself.

Ruthie didn't know what to do…she felt helpless.

Martin felt so far away even though they sat inches from each other in the same room.

"I know you're mad at me…"Ruthie began.

"I don't want to do this right now Ruthie." Martin said stopping her.

"Then what do you want?" Ruthie asked completely afraid of his answer.

"I want you to leave." Martin told her.

"No…we can figure this out…I know we can." Ruthie promised.

"I've had a crap day Ruthie and I need some time to process everything." Martin informed her.

She knew the last thing he needed was to see her cry but she couldn't help it…she felt him slipping away and it was destroying her.

He knew in that moment as he sat holding the peas to his eye watching her cry that they would get past this as his need to make her feel better made him reach out to her.

Putting down the bag of peas he took her hand and pulled her down on the couch next to him and allowed her to put her head down on his chest as he rested his arm around her shoulders.

And they probably could have worked it out in that moment if not for the knock on the door followed by the insistent ringing of the doorbell.

"I'll be right back." Martin promised annoyed that some one had stepped on their healing moment.

Opening the door he was more than a little surprised to see two uniformed officers standing there.

"Are you Martin Brewer?" The heavier set cop asked as he looked up from his notebook.

"Yes. What can I do for you?" Martin asked hoping this had nothing to do with his dad.

"You're under arrest son."

It had all been a blur after that as they had told him to turn around and they had handcuffed him while Ruthie yelled at them and told them that they were making a mistake.

"Go get your dad and Kevin Ruthie tell them what's going on." Martin said as the officer ducked his head down to put him in the car and the other one continued to read him his rights.

The fact that Ruthie's boyfriend now sat stewing in the Glen Oak jail hadn't really been Ian's idea.

As soon as he had walked into the apartment sporting a bloody messed up face his roommate Nick had been right there.

Ian and Nick had been buddies since middle school and even though Nick had his annoying traits he always had Ian's back.

"What happened to you man?" Nick had questioned as he walked over to where Ian had sat down on the couch.

Explaining to Nick that he had been busted up by Ruthie's new boyfriend had been a real pride killer.

But Nick had quickly turned things around suggesting that if he had the balls he could have Martin arrested since he had started the fight.

Jane who was with him at the time had balked at the idea telling Ian he absolutely could not do it and that he had provoked Martin and he knew it.

"Somebody needs to grow a set." Nick retorted as he could see Ian backing away from his idea and siding with Jane.

"If you do this…we are done." Jane promised Ian.

It was unbelievable to Ian that Jane still believed she really meant something to him other than a warm body on lonely nights.

He had been spending a lot of time with her lately but it was more out of habit than a real desire to.

The only girl who ever got to his him was Ruthie and it was really the thought of how she would react to him having Martin tossed into jail that made him back down.

"Jane's right…I did my best to piss him off. If I'd have been in his position…I'd have decked me too." Ian admitted.

"It doesn't matter what Jane thinks. This is about Ruthie's boyfriend making you look like a loser man…right?" Nick said more a statement than a question.

It had been an inward struggle but the more Nick talked to Ian the more he made sense and as he picked up the phone to make the call Jane got up and stormed out the door.

"Looks like you're going to have to find another bed warmer…or two." Nick said with fake compassion but real laughter.

After the call was made Ian had retreated to his room but not with a sense of victory…he felt bad for what he had just done…all of it…provoking Martin…ratting out Ruthie and now compounding it all by reporting the fight to the police.

Things were about to get really bad for Ruthie and Martin and he was the reason and he was having a hard time getting past the guilt.

Nick had often told him that Ruthie had made him soft now he was beginning to think Nick was right. He would never have felt bad in the past in fact he wouldn't have even given his actions another passing thought.

Back then what was done was done. Now he wondered if what he had done could be undone.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: "I Don't Like Your Boyfriend."

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and show 7th Heaven.

If the doorbell rang one more time bringing yet another Camden to his door he was seriously going to lose it.

Within the last five hours Ian had been visited in succession by Lucy, Simon, Ruthie's mother, father and even Lucy's husband Kevin.

And they all had the same message and the same plea Martin was a good guy and part of the family, they loved him like a son, a brother…etc…etc…blah…blah…blah.

Did they really think they were working in Martin's favor by making Ian feel that he'd been just about the worst thing for Ruthie?

It amazed him that they had never even tried to accept him, granted he hadn't really made any overtures either but their minds had already been made up about him because of the Jane fiasco so he figured it wasn't worth the effort.

As Ian thought about all the visitors that had stopped by that day he found himself judging them just as they had come there with their judgments about him.

Lucy had been the worst with her condescending, preachy attitude.

Kevin had been the most uncomfortable for him as he'd brought Ian's own record with him pointing out that everyone had made their mistakes.

Simon probably had made the most sense, trying to make him understand that by putting Martin in jail he was hurting Ruthie too. But he lost him when he ventured into Martin and Ruthie" destined to be together" territory.

Ruthie's mother had been the most annoying with her refusal to leave until he changed his mind and dropped the charges in fact she'd probably still be there right now if he hadn't threatened to call the police on her too thought Ian.

As for her dad…well…he had almost gotten to him.

Reverend Camden had actually been the most compassionate about what Ian had lost, understanding for the first time that Ian really had formed a bond with Ruthie and losing her to Martin had not been easy. He had even gone so far as to apologize for not taking the time to get to know him better during the time he had been with Ruthie.

And although he had mentioned that Martin was like family, he hadn't dwelled there and he hadn't tried to force Ian into a decision right there on the spot.

Ruthie was sitting by herself in the corner of the police station awash in tears after Kevin had come back out from seeing Martin and informed her as gently as possible that Martin maybe wasn't ready to see her yet.

Translation: He didn't "want" to see her.

She couldn't and wouldn't accept that she and Martin were not going to get past this.

She knew what she had to do now all she needed was a ride. Walking purposefully up to Mac she took his hand and led him to a more private corner of the station.

"I need you to take me to Ians' apartment." Ruthie said in a whisper.

"Come again?" Mac said not sure he'd heard right.

"I have to talk to him…get him to drop the charges." Ruthie informed Mac.

"Couldn't you just call him?" Mac said the solution making perfect sense to him.

"I could, but don't you think this is more of a face to face conversation?" Ruthie said wisely.

"I think the last time you had a face to face with him he locked you in a room with him." Mac said reminding her of her and Ian's most recent encounter.

"I don't care…I need to do this for Martin." Ruthie said stubbornly.

Wes knew he was probably looking a little pathetic to Lily at this point having called her around noon to invite her out for lunch after she'd pretty much shut him down at breakfast….but he wanted to see her.

Even worse…he needed to see her and it was a feeling that just kept growing stronger.

He'd completely expected her to say no and had been pleasantly surprised when she didn't.

And they'd spent practically all day together just now arriving back his apartment after taking her to a nice lunch and then to "Tasende" one his favorite La Jolla art galleries.

She had been fascinated with the contemporary art and he had felt something really click in him as he watched her face displaying so many emotions at each and every piece of art or painting.

She truly got art and it reached into his soul to be sharing that connection with her.

He felt driven by that connection as he ushered her into the apartment and quickly shut the door behind her pining her up against it his lips instantly finding hers.

She'd felt it all day too the need to be in his arms again but he'd played it very friend like so she'd reverted to treating him the same as they laughed and teased their way through lunch and the walk to the art gallery.

She'd been amazed at Wes' knowledge of art and had thought it a great thing to finally have someone to go to the galleries with, Martin had found art nice to look at but otherwise boring.

It had been a perfect day and this would be the perfect way to end it…being intimate with Wes again.

They were having a revelation of feelings and thoughts all centered on one thing making it to the nearest solid surface to consummate their lust. And having made it as far as the couch Wes began undressing her murmuring sweet, loving phrases into her ear as he nibbled every so lightly on her earlobe sending her mind into a spiral of heat and passion.

Everything was clicking…fitting perfectly as they continued to sink into an impenetrable haze of lust and passion…a haze broken only by the ringing of his phone.

Screw that he wasn't getting it they could just leave a message after the beep thought Wes as he molded even closer to Lily skin touching skin.

Suddenly the machine clicked on and Olivia's voice broke through their passion addled brains where nothing else would have been able to.

"Wes…it's me…Olivia. I know I probably shouldn't be calling you…but I think we need to talk." She said her long pause after the last word causing the machine to click off.

Looking at Lily lying beneath him Wes sat up almost involuntarily the voice of Olivia ringing in his head making him feel as if he were somehow cheating on her.

"I'm sorry…I don't think I can do this right now." Wes said apologetically as he got up from the couch and headed into his room shutting the door.

Lily didn't know if he expected her to leave now or not so she made the decision to leave on her own as she gathered up her discarded clothes and quickly got dressed.

She was just about out the door when he re-entered the living room.

"Please don't go. It's almost dinner time and I'd like to make you dinner." Wes said as a form of apology.

Lily was torn; I mean really what was she getting herself into? And why was Olivia calling now?

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Lily offered as explanation for the turn down she was preparing to give him.

Wes knew there was only one way to keep her there and that was to tell her the truth.

"I need a friend…and I'm not talking about my FWB." Wes said.

"FWB?" Lily questioned her hand still on the door knob.

"Friend with benefits." Wes said clarifying.

"Oh." Lily acknowledged a little awkwardly realizing again that was really all he'd ever agreed to be.

"I need someone I can talk to about Olivia. I don't' have anyone I can do that with and I don't think I'll ever be okay about what happened if I don't ever talk about it." Wes finished feeling a little emotionally exhausted.

Wes waited for Lily to say something…anything.

Lily wanted to be there for Wes she really did and she was the foremost authority on Olivia and what had caused the breakdown of her and Wes. She knew what she needed to do.

"So…what's for dinner?" She asked giving him her most charming smile.

Standing in front of Ian's door Ruthie felt afraid for the first time. She needed to say the right things to make him reconsider his actions and not to provoke him into yet another argument with her thus sealing Martin's fate.

As the doorbell rang again Nick had had it. "I swear to God if this is another Camden I am turning the hose them." Nick promised himself as he crossed to the door to open it and came face to face with Ruthie.

"Well…this is a surprise." Nick said smirking at Ruthie.

Ruthie did not like Nick at all and unlike Ian knew he was the true bad apple in that apartment. Ian believed Nick has his back but Ruthie knew what Nick had done behind his back.

"I need to speak to Ian." Ruthie said curtly trying to get Nick to do what she needed.

"I don't think so." Nick said as he started to close the door.

Ruthie pushed back on it. "Unless you want Ian to know about the numerous propositions and advances you made towards me when he and I were dating…I'd go get him" Ruthie said playing hardball.

"He'd never believe you now." Nick said confidently.

"Are you willing to take that chance? Because lets face it Nick you need Ian more than he has ever needed you." Ruthie said even more confidently.

"You really are a…" Nick began but stopped himself short as Ian came out of the bedroom and joined him at the door to see who he was harassing.

Seeing Ruthie he knew exactly why she was there no longer suffering from any delusions that she might be silently harboring any feelings for him.

Turning to Nick, Ian motioned for him to leave them alone.

"You must be getting desperate if you're here in person instead of sending more of your family." Ian said coldly.

"Sending more of my family?" Ruthie questioned confused.

It occurred to Ian in that moment that Ruthie had no idea her family had come by one by one to plead Martin's case and it annoyed him just a little to know they had truly done it of their own accord for Martin's sake.

To help her confusion Ian explained how everyone had come by during the day and thinking back now Ruthie remembered seeing members of her family mysteriously disappearing and reappearing at the police station all day.

"I'm sorry about that…it's hard to find a Camden who won't fight for a worthy cause." Ruthie admitted.

"And Martin is a worthy cause?" Ian said a little perturbed.

Ruthie wanted to make sure she went the right direction with this fearing if she played the "everybody loves Martin card" she'd lose this battle for sure.

"I know I hurt you Ian and I'm sorry." Ruthie began.

Ian could see she was carefully weighing her words making sure not to say the wrong things but he could also see the sincerity in her eyes.

Yeah…you did. So let's not insult my intelligence by pretending you give a crap now Ruthie. We both know why you're here…to convince me to drop the charges against Martin.

Ruthie knew lying to Ian now would only compound his animosity towards Martin.

"He doesn't deserve this Ian. I'm the one you're mad at." Ruthie tried to remind him.

"Actually I'm mad at all of you…your mom and dad for sending you away, you for giving up on us, Martin for taking you away from me and the rest of your family and friends for thinking I wasn't good enough for you." Ian said his calm starting to waiver.

Ruthie had been with Ian long enough to recognize him trying to keep his temper in check.

"It was over for me even before I left Glen Oak." Ruthie said in an attempt to justify her unfaithful actions to Ian.

This was a statement that clearly took Ian by surprise.

"Why…because of what you knew about Jane?" Ian said more a statement than a question.

"Yes. It made me realize that you needed more from a relationship than I was willing to give" Ruthie answered truthfully.

For the first time Ian understood that even if Martin hadn't come back into Ruthie's life he would have eventually lost Ruthie anyway because of his extra curricular activities with Jane.

And he realized what an idiot he had been to risk everything he cared about for nothing because that's exactly what Jane meant to him…nothing.

He was the instigator. He'd cheated on Ruthie first and because of that knowledge he decided to cut her some slack and listen to what she had to say.

"I can't promise you it will change anything…but why don't you come inside and I'll let you say what you need to." Ian offered. 

"I can't." Ruthie said.

"Why not?" Ian asked confused now.

"Mac made me promise to stay outside." She said motioning to where he was sitting in a parked car waiting for her.

'You're kidding me what does he think is going to happen? Ian asked annoyed.

"I think probably a repeat of this afternoon…It doesn't matter… I promised him so I can't come in but I still need you to listen to me." Ruthie pleaded.

"Fine, but again it probably won't change anything." Ian warned her.

Sadly, Ruthie thought that was most likely true but she still had to try as she went forward with her practiced speech.

"You say you still care about me…and I know that despite the way things look right now you are a good guy…so do the right thing here Ian." Ruthie said in a desperate plea.

"How do you know I'm not doing the right thing already? I mean the guy obviously has a temper." Ian began but Ruthie cut him off.

"You provoked him!" Ruthie said wishing she could take back the three words she had just uttered in frustration.

"So this is my fault?" Ian said pointing to his messed up face. Well I'm sorry if your new boy can't handle the truth." Ian stated.

"You wanted to piss him off and you know it." Ruthie said raising her voice more than she wanted to but unable to stop herself all the same.

"I'll spell it out for you Ruthie…I owe him nothing…less than nothing in fact. And you've made it crystal clear that you and I have no love lost between us…so why should I do what you want and make it easier for him to lead a happy life with the girl I love?" Ian said all the hurt and pain coming out in one fell swoop.

"You don't love me Ian…you just don't like losing. I was never as important to you when you had me as I am now…it's your male pride and you're just being stupid!" Ruthie said angry at his display of emotions now when it was too late to make a difference to her.

It was the wrong way to react and she knew it but it was too late now she couldn't take it back.

"You know what…I'm not going to do this with you. You're not my girlfriend anymore so I don't have to put up with your little temper tantrums. Ian said making a show of slamming the door in her face.

She had blown it there was no way Ian would drop the charges now. She wanted to kick herself for losing her temper with him again.

Her first instinct was to knock again and get him to open up but she knew that time was running out for Martin and she needed to find another way out of this mess and back to their normal life.

Getting back into Mac's car she turned to him. "Do you still have Martin's cell phone?" Ruthie asked not offering any explanation as to why she needed it.

"Yeah…here you go." Mac said pulling it out of his jacket pocket.

Taking it from him Ruthie opened the phone book on it and scrolled through till she found the desired number and quickly dialed it before holding the phone up to her ear.

Lily and Wes were sitting on his couch eating popcorn and watching a movie when his phone rang again and both tensed.

He didn't want to have to hear Olivia's voice on his machine again though so he quickly got up and went over to answer it.

"Hello." Wes said his voice guarded and a little strained.

"Wes…I'm so glad you're there…its Ruthie...Martin's girlfriend." She said quickly.

Wes felt a little awkward talking to Ruthie while Lily sat just a few feet away but he knew that Ruthie didn't really know him well enough to be calling him just to chat… so it had to be something important.

"Hey Ruthie…what's up?" Wes said as casually as possible but he caught it out of the corner of his eye Lily's involuntary tensing at the mention of Ruthie's name.

Wes was shell shocked as Ruthie filled him in on the day's events in Glen Oak and the look on his face quickly peaked Lily's curiosity."

"What's going on? " Lily said getting up to stand next to Wes.

"Can you hold on one second Ruthie?" Wes said quickly covering the phone before turning to talk to Lily.

"Martin is in jail." Wes said getting right to the heart of his and Ruthie's conversation.

"Jail?" Lily mimicked the look of shock now on her face too. "Why?"

Wes wasn't sure Lily needed to hear all this but the concerned look on her face made him cave and he tried really hard not to hurt her.

'He got into a fight with Ruthie's ex-boyfriend and the guy pressed assault charges against him. "Wes said trying to read Lily's reaction.

Lily couldn't wrap her head around it…Martin was not a violent guy sure he had a bit of a temper…but starting a fist fight seemed so out of character for him…or at least it had been until he hooked up with Ruthie.

Finally Wes got back to the phone and Ruthie, a little surprised at the jealous feelings that had emerged as he watched the confusion and concern that crossed Lily's face for Martin.

"So what do you need me to do?" Wes asked Ruthie hoping there really was something he could do to help.

This was the embarrassing part for Ruthie but for Martin's sake she plunged ahead.

"I need to borrow $15,000 dollars…just a loan. I will pay you back." Ruthie promised truthfully.

"I probably should have clarified my story the other night." Wes began. "I come from money but I don't actually have that much of it myself."

"My father pays for my apartment and my school expenses but because I didn't choose to go to an Ivy League school that's about it. He gives me spending money but I can promise you it's no where near $15,000 dollars. "Wes said apologetic in his answer.

Ruthie felt her heart drop…that was it…her last straw.

'I understand…I knew it was a long shot but I had to ask." Ruthie said hoping Wes truly understood and didn't think she'd been out of line.

"I'm glad you did and if there is anything else I can do please let me know…and I'll do it." Wes told Ruthie hating how much it sounded like a consolation prize.

"Lily tugged on Wes' arm having figured out what was going on.

"Hold on one more second Ruthie." Wes said before turning to look at Lily again to find out what she needed.

"I have the money. I can pay Martin's bail." Lily offered.

"Are you sure? " Wes asked floored that Lily could be so generous to a guy who had dumped her.

He certainly didn't think he'd ever bail Olivia out of jail if it came to that. Lily was a much better person than him.

'I'm sure. I want to do it." Lily said matter of fact.

It was no surprise to Wes that Lily could afford it because he knew she grew up in living in Bel Air with her father Samuel Purty who was a major television producer. In fact Lily and Olivia had practically grown up together attending all the same prestigious private schools.

But it was a shock to Ruthie when Wes came back on the phone and told her that Lily had offered up the money.

Ruthie's first instinct was to turn it down, but she knew that it was a selfish instinct and that Martin really needed it.

Hanging up the phone Ruthie turned to Mac and told him what had transpired.

"And you're sure you're okay with this." Mac asked a little concerned.

"I have to be. I just want Martin out of jail." Ruthie said her mind a mess with trying to understand why Lily got to be the hero and she had to be the villain.

She had gotten Martin into this mess but Super Lily was there to get him out of it.

It had been a long day for Martin and with the passing of the hours his anger at Ruthie had begun to dissipate.

He knew none of this was really her fault and that shutting her out wasn't really doing either one of them any good, which is why after Reverend Camden had come by to talk he had told him he was ready to see Ruthie.

As Ruthie walked the row of holding cells she realized she was nervous.

Kevin had told her it was the very last one so she was very careful not to make eye contact with any of the other people being detained at the moment.

As she approached the cell her heart broke to see him, his face bruised and his eye black and blue.

She truly hated Ian in that moment.

Cautiously she spoke to get this attention "Martin?"

Martin looked up at the sound of Ruthie's voice.

"Hey." He said as he got up from the metal bench to walk over to the bars.

"Thanks for coming back here to see me." Martin said acknowledging her acceptance of his request to see her.

"I would have come sooner…but you didn't want see me." Ruthie reminded him.

"I know…I'm sorry." Martin said.

"What changed your mind?" Ruthie asked wondering which family member she had to thank for Martin's change of heart.

"I missed you.' Martin said putting his hand between the bars to lovingly touch the side of her face.

The minute he touched her tears started to fall and he felt like a drowning man unable to help her or make her feel better.

"It's going to be okay Ruthie…your dad said something to me earlier and it really made me feel a lot better." Martin informed her.

"What's that?" Ruthie asked curious and needing something to make her feel less hopeless too.

"He said God doesn't give us any trials or tribulations that we aren't strong enough to handle."

"And he's right…we're stronger than this even if we don't realize it right now." Martin said giving her a smile of reassurance.

It was just like him Ruthie thought to be looking out for her and her well being when he was the one sitting behind bars.

But not for long because even as they spoke Lily and Wes were on their way to a bail bondsman to get the cash wired out…cash that would insure Martin's freedom from jail but would shackle him to Lily in gratitude thought Ruthie hating herself for being jealous at that thought.


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Fresh Start

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

It was practically midnight and he was exhausted after having spent the better half of his day in a jail cell, but he knew the worst part of this whole experience was yet to come as he sat at the kitchen table across from his father silently waiting for him to say something.

Beau Brewer didn't know where to start he was definitely disappointed in Martin for losing his temper and striking out at Ruthie's ex-boyfriend in anger, because as his father he really thought he had raised him better…but a part of him understood all too well what Martin must have been thinking.

Ruthie was very important to Martin and when you made someone that important to you, you opened yourself up to all sorts of unexpected emotions. Beau was happy that Martin had finally found that special someone after so many false starts but now more than ever he knew Martin was going to need to learn to be a man and control his temper and that was what he wanted him to take from this experience.

"I know you're disappointed in me." Martin said no longer able to wait for his dad to start the conversation.

"Darn right I am…I raised you better than that son…I raised you to fight for worthy causes…causes that can affect the land we so freely live in to continue to afford us our freedoms. I did not teach you to raise your fists in anger or strike out at someone because they just happened to push the right buttons." Beau said his speech just beginning.

'Guys like this Ian character are a dime a dozen and they will always try to take the real men down to make themselves feel better you can't let them get to you or they will keep doing it. I'm not saying you can't stand up for yourself, but back down when the consequences of not backing down are too much of a burden to the ones you love. You scared Ruthie tonight but she stuck by you and you should feel fortunate." Beau finished.

"I do. " Martin assured his father.

And he did because the one thing Martin knew that he would always be able to count on from here on out in his life was the Camdens.

It had been like a Camden family reunion as he had walked out into the front of the police station having finally obtained his freedom.

In fact it had been very reminiscent of the time his dad had come home from the war after his long stint in Iraq and all the Camdens had accompanied Martin to the airport to greet him.

The people standing in that police station would always be his and his father's family.

Every person in that room had a place in his heart in one way or another…some had a very important place thought Martin as he saw Ruthie standing in the background.

Ruthie had stayed back as everyone practically swarmed Martin with hugs, back pats and handshakes…telling him how glad they were to see him, she was glad too but also still a little apprehensive about where they stood.

She was glad that he had finally broken down and let her back to see him, admitting that he had missed having her near him, but the problems and issues that had put him behind bars in the first place were still very much the same and the understanding of that frightened her.

Martin had watched her out of the corner of his eye every time someone else approached him, waiting for his chance to finally be close to her again…it had seemed like forever but he was nothing if not appreciative for everything that had been done to gain his freedom so he patiently accepted all the heart felt comments and hugs until he was finally standing in front of her.

"I'm so sorry about everything." Ruthie said as she stood on tiptoe to give him a warm hug.

Silently he acknowledged her with a nod of understanding, not wanting to dig any deeper on their issues tonight.

It felt comforting to have her in his arms again and he didn't really want to let her go and step back into reality but he knew eventually he would have to so reluctantly he did.

"I don't know how you got me out of there…but thank you.' Martin said sincerely to everyone standing around.

"It was all Ruthie…girl knows how to fight for what she wants." Mac said making sure Martin knew to be appreciative of her efforts.

"I had some help…" Ruthie started but Martin cut her off.

"It's just good to be out…you can fill me in on the details later." Martin said not quite ready to know who he had to thank for this sensing Ruthie was holding something back.

Ruthie knew that Martin knew her way too well to not know something was up and that there was more to the story but she appreciated that he had no intention of trying to figure it out in that moment.

She knew eventually she was going to have to tell him the truth that Lily had been his savior but in that moment she was content to have him believe that her and her family had somehow been the ones to rescue him from an over night stay in jail.

Martin knew he was welcome to stay at the Camdens but had opted instead to stay at his dads knowing that his father wanted to talk to him about what had happened.

It was only now at about 12:30am that Martin was beginning to regret that decision as his father continued to lecture him about the numerous bad choices a guy could make in his courtship of a woman.

It was a way over due talk as far as Martin was concerned and at this point pretty ineffectual…but he loved his dad so he did his best to try and appear as if he were listening as his thoughts wandered to Ruthie and the damage their first major fight may or may not have caused in their relationship.

Firsts fights weren't suppose to be as toxic as theirs had been thought Ruthie as she tossed and turned in her bed.

First fights were suppose to be over the small little issues that popped up as you got to know someone better.

It was unfair in Ruthie's mind that one fight could possibly end a relationship she had been waiting for what seemed liked most of her teenage years for.

Reverently Ruthie prayed that the lord would help Martin see past his disappointment with her and into a place where he would accept her past mistakes and all.

It was possibly a prayer answered as Martin woke up the next morning with a sense of calm that surprised him especially after the tough day he had had yesterday.

It had been close to 1:30am when his dad had finally let him go to bed and he had pretty much sunk into the mattress and a needed restful sleep immediately.

Now refreshed and renewed, he wanted only one thing and that was to see Ruthie and fix the mess yesterday had created.

He wanted a do-over, a fresh clean slate on which to start writing the relationship he wanted to have with her…one of trust and understanding, one filled with love, loyalty and devotion…one completely devoid of secrets.

Walking into the Camden kitchen the smell of fresh baked waffles and just cooked bacon hit his senses immediately.

And the sight of Mrs. Camden at the stove was a welcome and comforting one.

"Good morning Martin would you like some breakfast?" Annie offered uncovering a plate she had put aside for him, breakfast pretty much done already for the rest of the Camden family since he had slept in.

"That sounds great." Martin said pulling a chair up to the table as Annie put a fully loaded plate and a fresh squeezed glass of orange juice in front of him.

He was about to dig in when Annie sat down in the chair across from him.

"Let's talk." She said the motherly tone taking over her voice.

"Okay…what about?" Martin said loading a nice size piece of waffle in his mouth to prolong the inevitable part where he had to answer the questions he knew she was dying to ask.

He wasn't ready to tell anyone what the torturous fight he and Ruthie had had was about, he wasn't sure he ever would be.

Some things he knew needed to stay just between him and Ruthie and he was pretty sure this was one of them knowing how the truth would devastate her parents…not so much the tattoo part…just the part about how intimate she had been with Ian.

Even now the thought started his blood rising. Ian had certainly taken advantage of Ruthie's naïve trust and feelings and it angered him even now.

"Do you love our Ruthie?" Annie asked a look of concern crossing her face.

Oh…okay that was an easy one Martin thought finishing the overly large bite of food before speaking.

"Yeah…I do…absolutely." Martin answered confidently and sincerely.

"Good, because I know she loves you too." Annie informed him happily.

Martin knew the motherly concern had more to do with yesterday's events than any real issue with his feelings for her daughter so he tried his best to reassure her.

"I know you're upset about what happened yesterday…and I don't blame you." Martin began a little afraid to find out just how disappointed Mrs. Camden and the Reverend might have been with him.

"But I'm not 'that" guy…I promise you. I usually have a much better grasp on my emotions...I don't know what happened.

"I'm not upset with you Martin…and I can promise you that neither is Ruthie's father…we love you honey and I don't think it's ever really been a secret that we always hoped you and Ruthie would end up together. You're a good person Martin and we know that.

"That's really nice of you to say considering everything you have gone through with me. But I'm really glad you still feel that way…really, really glad." Martin said relieved to know he still stood in the Camden's good graces.

Other guys had fallen by the wayside for much lesser crimes…he knew he was lucky.

Lucky and blessed.

Ruthie stood in front of the tattoo parlor with Margaret ready to fix the mistake she'd made hopefully not with a bigger one.

"You don't have to do this Ruthie." Margaret offered her friend as an option but knowing that nothing she said at this point would in any way change her mind.

'I need to do this…for myself and for Martin." Ruthie informed Margaret in no uncertain terms as she opened the door of the tattoo parlor and went purposefully in with Margaret in tow.

Ruthie had already weighed her options quite some time ago in fact almost immediately after getting the tattoo her regrets had surfaced and she had priced the cost of laser removal finding it a little too expensive for her current financial situation at that time.

She hadn't minded having the tattoo done but she had been more than a little upset when she saw it for the first time and realized what Ian had done. Martin was right…he had branded her but she'd been too enamored of him to really realize the reality of her situation at that time.

Ruthie knew it was never going to be okay as long as the tattoo stayed the way it was which was why she laid butt up on the tattoo table wincing as the guy with the very sharp tattoo needle covered up Ian's initials with red ink virtually wiping away the last vestige of Ian from her life.

Replacing the original tattoo was now a simple non-committed, initial free, red heart…it was actually kind of cute.

But better than that it made her feel like she was getting a fresh start and she needed that.

This was definitely going down as one of the more painful lessons in her life Ruthie thought as the tattoo artist finished his masterpiece up by covering it with a sterile bandage.

"That'll be $60 bucks sweetheart." The guy said as he finished up and started putting away the tools of his trade.

Ruthie gladly handed over her cash thinking it was worth every penny.

"It looks really good." Margaret assured Ruthie as she stood close by waiting for her friend to finish up.

"Thanks," Ruthie said sincerely thinking that this was definitely a good thing she had done, she only hoped Martin would feel the same way.

Martin tried Ruthie's cell phone again and got the voicemail yet again, a little frustrated he left what he vowed would be his last message.

'Hey Ruthie…it's Martin again and this is like my fifth message…I am quickly approaching stalker territory so it will also be my last. Please call me back when you get this message I'm starting to get just a little worried about you.

Ruthie saw her cell phone ringing again and she really wanted to answer it but now was definitely not the time as she sat completely shell shocked by Margaret's confession.

They had stopped at the promenade for ice cream and while eating hers Margaret had completely broken down.

"Are you sure though…I mean is there any possibility that you could be wrong?" Ruthie asked still adjusting to the shock factor of Margaret's news that she had slept with Mac… which had happen a mere few minutes before she hit her with the rest… the fact that she thought that she was pregnant.

"I don't think so." Margaret said through her tears.

"Mac is going to hate me, he doesn't want a baby or a wife…he's practically still a kid himself." Margaret said the gravity of the situation almost too overwhelming.

"You haven't told him?" Ruthie said surprised that Margaret had told her before her boyfriend.

"I can't…not until I'm completely 100 sure." Margaret said trying to sound logical when everything about her in that moment was purely emotional.

"You have to tell him Margaret…you can't go through this all by yourself." Ruthie prodded trying to get her to see the reality of the situation.

It had taken over two hours of talking to Margaret to convince her that telling Mac was not only the best way to go but the only one.

And exhausted by her efforts she headed straight for home after leaving Margaret promising her she would be there for her if she needed to talk after letting Mac in on her little secret.

But truthfully Ruthie hoped that Mac would take the news okay…he had to because Margaret needed him to.

Margaret had been more than a little sullen as she entered the apartment and Mac picked up on it right away.

"Okay…what did I do now?" Mac asked before biting into the tuna sandwich that he had made himself just minutes before she had walked in the door.

Margaret couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of Mac's innocent question. He had done plenty…he just didn't know it yet.

Margaret clutched tighter to the non-descript brown bag in her hand. Her plan had been to take the test before saying anything…it could after all be a false alarm but the words were spilling out before she could help herself.

"I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant." Margaret said staring directly at Mac as he almost choked on the bite of sandwich in his mouth taking a quick drink of water to wash it down before it could do more damage.

"I'm sorry…did you just say...?"

"Pregnant…yes…I think I might be pregnant." Margaret said a little bolder this time.

"But…how did this happen...I mean…I know "how" it happened…but how?" Mac said struggling to find the words that were fast escaping him.

"Wasn't there…didn't you…protection…yes…protection…you said you were on the thingy…the…the…"

"The pill…and I am but it's not 100 effective…It can fail and I guess it did." Margaret offered as a form of explanation.

"Seriously…it's not like fool proof? I mean…it should be mistake free." Mac said his mind messed up now.

"It's not. I sort of thought you knew that." Margaret said surprised that Mac had been so naïve in this instance.

"I've been with one woman…you. Where exactly did you think I was going to get this knowledge? Mac asked his mind still spinning from Margaret's news.

Ruthie had barely plopped down exhausted on her bed when there was a knock at her open door. Slowly she turned to look up.

"Can I come in?" Martin asked peering around the corner of her door.

"Sure." Ruthie said sitting up in her bed.

Purposefully Martin walked over and sat down on the bed beside her.

"So you were gone a long time. Anything I should know?" Martin questioned trying to read the look on Ruthie's face.

"There's a good chance Margaret is pregnant." Ruthie said bluntly putting it out there without any fanfare or warning.

Martin's immediate thought was for Mac and what he was about to go through having been there himself not too far in his own past.

"She's a wreck…thinks Mac is going to freak." Ruthie said clearly showing her loyalty lay with Margaret.

"He probably will." Martin said remembering back to his reaction when Sandy had hit him with the news of her pregnancy.

"He doesn't get to freak out on her." Ruthie said adamantly. "He got her into this position and he needs to support her now."

"It takes two people to make a baby Ruthie…Margaret knew what she was doing when she started sleeping with him…the risks she was taking." Martin told her intent on making his point.

Ruthie understood now all too well the point Martin was trying to make and it had nothing to do with either Mac or Margaret.

"I get it…okay. I understand the risks of having sex you don't have to beat me over the head with it. But I'm not Margaret and you're not Mac." Ruthie reminded him.

"And I don't want to be." Martin said. "I want to have kids with you someday…but when it's the right time…and definitely after we're married…not before.

"You didn't seem too worried about it with Lily." Ruthie said annoyed that he was going to use Mac and Margaret's situation as reasoning for why they would not be sleeping together.

Martin knew the next bit of information he shared with her wasn't really his to be sharing but he needed her to understand the very real fear he had of becoming a father before the time was right.

"Lily can't have kids." Martin said a little worried he was treading on sacred ground since this wasn't exactly the kind of information a woman wanted others to know.

"Why not?" Ruthie said dumbfounded and more than a little embarrassed now by her attitude.

"When she was ten years old she had leukemia and the chemo and radiation ruined any chance she had of having children." Martin said a little sullen remembering back to when Lily had shared her secret with him.

It was in that moment that Ruthie realized she had plenty of things in her life to be thankful for…because someday she would have kids and get to be a mom and she started to see Lily for the extraordinary woman she really was.

"It was her…it was Lily..." Ruthie said ashamed that she hadn't given her full credit for what she had done for Martin.

"What was Lily?" Martin said confused by the change in subject.

Ruthie turned to Martin tears forming behind her eyes causing them to glisten.

"Lily paid your bail money." Ruthie admitted to a clearly shocked Martin.

"You asked Lily to pay my bail?" He asked unable to believe she would do such a thing.

"I didn't ask…she offered. I called Wes to see if he could help out and she was there." Ruthie told Martin pleading with him to understand.

"I can't believe she would do that." Martin said the shock still in his voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and that I let you think my family really had anything to do with getting you out." Ruthie said her sorrow evident in her expression.

Although Martin was shocked he was more concerned in that moment that Lily doing such a grand gesture was going to eat away at Ruthie.

"You're amazing Ruthie…I know it took a lot of swallowing your pride to call Wes and probably even more to let Lily pay the money. You have nothing to be sorry for." Martin said pulling her into his arms his lips finding hers in an instant.

It was the first actual connection they had shared in what seemed like forever and he drank in the sweet taste of her lips on his…feeling his pulse begin to race as he lay her slowly down on her bed and moved the warmth of his hands underneath the curtain of her chestnut colored hair to gently touch the back of her neck as he pulled her closer to him and began to deepen the already heady kiss allowing his other hand to freely roam her willing body.

Ruthie felt herself sinking into that foggy oblivion where only Martin's kisses and touches could take her. He had a masterful way of toying with her senses bringing her to the brink of surrender and an even more annoying amount of will power.

As his hand moved over her newly minted tattoo Ruthie found her self flinching a little from the pain…a move that did not go unnoticed by Martin.

Martin hurriedly returned his hand to the spot that had made her flinch and felt the gauze bandage immediately.

"What happened to you?" Martin said concerned and fearing someone had hurt her not quite putting two and two together yet.

Ruthie pulled away from Martin and got up quickly off the bed.

"Ruthie?" Martin said concern and curiosity mixed now.

"Please just know…I did this for us." Ruthie said cryptically as she pushed down the back of her sweats and pulled the gauze bandage away from her fresh tattoo to reveal it to Martin.

Martin at first cringed a little fully expecting to see that jerks initials again as a painful reminder of Ruthie's screw-up but instantly he realized what she had done really more for him he realized as he saw only a red heart on her backside now, no more initials to haunt him.

"You didn't have to do that Ruthie." Martin said amazed that she would do this for him.

But he couldn't stop smiling realizing what a strong show of commitment to their relationship this act of hers was.

"You don't like it?" Ruthie said a little concerned now.

"Like it? I love it…but it had to have been painful." Martin stated.

'It was…a very painful lesson." Ruthie admitted.

Getting up off the bed Martin came to stand behind her and began to gingerly run his finger over the new tattoo an action which caused tingles to cascade through her body.

"It's perfect. Thank you." Martin said as he pulled her into his arms and gave her an all encompassing hug.

The recent doubts he had allowed to creep into his mind were all dispelled in that moment as he realized the magnitude of her love for him that she was willing to endure the extra added pain to eradicate Ian from their lives once and for all.

It was exactly what he had hoped for and even better than he could have wished for…it was their fresh start.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: "When I Grow Up I Want To Be You"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they belong to the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

It was the longest three minutes of her life as Margaret had waited impatiently watching the pregnancy test for any indication of change, but only one line appeared and she knew from reading the pamphlet that one line was a negative result.

Negative meaning no pregnancy, she wasn't pregnant. Margaret let the meaning of that sink in as relief began to flood her body.

Nothing was changed for her and Mac, they could go back to the way they were and put this incident behind them and proceed forward in the relationship albeit with more caution since she never wanted to be scared like this again.

It wasn't going to be that easy for Mac though, his mind had been completely blown, from the minute Margaret had told him she might be pregnant to the moment she left the room to go and take the test. He didn't want to be a dad, but he accepted that he might not have a choice.

Silently he prayed for a reprieve…a chance to live his life to the fullest. He knew that if Margaret was pregnant he would stick by her but by the same logic he had decided that if she wasn't that he was ending things her and gaining his freedom…freedom he planned to use to date other people.

And no matter how convoluted his reasoning was it made sense to him. He had been with one woman and one woman only in his life, settling down for the rest of his life right now had no appeal for him in fact it kind of frightened him.

The only thing Margaret wanted now was the last hour and half of her life back, she wanted to have never told Mac she might be pregnant because then she knew he wouldn't be doing this.

He was leaving her, telling her that he needed to grow more and live more and some other bull like that.

"You're breaking up with me?" Margaret repeated in disbelief.

"I like to think of it as giving us a break from each other." Mac stated hoping it was lessening the blow.

But it wasn't and Margaret was beginning to resent him more and more as the minutes ticked by his explanations and reasoning falling on deaf ears and a shattered heart.

"You're a coward Mac and I've wasted two years of my life on you. Thank God I'm not pregnant because the world doesn't need another selfish jerk like you in it! "Margaret said angrily as she stomped into the bedroom they shared slamming the door uncharacteristically behind her.

But while Mac and Margaret were falling apart things were finally clicking again for Martin and Ruthie.

They would need to talk some issues out but they both felt that could wait until later as they lay on her bed alternately kissing and making small talk , Ruthie loved being in Martin's arms and feeling so close to him and when he looked into her eyes it seriously made her world spin. His gaze was so intense that it almost always took her breath away.

Martin was partial to the beginning of a kiss the slow sensual melding of lips got his heart racing and his blood pumping every time. With Ruthie that feeling was even more escalated almost always having the ability to mute the rest of the world around them which was why neither of them heard Lucy come up the stairs until she was right beside the bed doing a rousing rendition of some one with something stuck in their throat trying endlessly to clear it.

Martin pulled away first and sat up. Ruthie turned over and gave her sister the evil eye.

"Can we help you?" Ruthie asked clearly annoyed at her sister's interruption.

"Actually I'm here to help you out…dad is like only four maybe five minutes behind me so you should probably disengage from each other and try and at least act like you weren't getting frisky… yeah…that would be great.

"Getting frisky? Okay that's a little outdated." Martin said getting up off the bed as Ruthie hurriedly sat up fixing her hair.

By the time Reverend Camden got up stairs to Ruthie's room they were all sitting on the bed talking innocently. Lucy had even placed Martin on the far side as far away from Ruthie as possible.

Reverend Camden was no idiot though he knew a staged scene when he saw it and frankly he was grateful to Lucy. Walking in on Ruthie and guy once in his lifetime was plenty…even if the guy was Martin this time…he wanted Ruthie and Martin together…just not that together just yet.

"I came up to tell you that your mother expects you all for dinner tonight so whatever plans you might have…please cancel them." Eric stated making sure it was interpreted as the order it really was rather than a request.

"No problem dad we'll be there." Lucy promised not waiting for anyone else to answer.

"Good. I'll see you there 7:30pm sharp." Eric said before turning to head back downstairs.

As soon as he was out of earshot Lucy got up off the bed.

" I have to go check on Savannah and Noah so I'm going to leave you two alone again so for dad sake show a little restraint. " Lucy said not afraid to lecture them.

"We can do that." Martin promised her.

But the minute Lucy was out the door Martin knelt down in the center of the bed and reached for Ruthie's hand to pull her up into a kneeling position too. His hands on her face were like a warming fire and she could feel her body heating up at his touch.

Devilishly he raked his mouth over hears eliciting a small gasp of surprise from her at the deliciously intimate, demanding kiss.

"I thought you were going to show restraint." Ruthie said trying to even her breath.

"I was but then I started to feel all 'frisky." Martin said smirking as he adopted Lucy's word. Slowly he lowered Ruthie to the bed and laid gently a top of her letting the moment of closeness envelop them.

It would suite Martin just fine if someone could eliminate both door bells and cell phones from his life since they always seemed to be the two things interrupting his time with Ruthie he thought as hers began to ring beside them on her nightstand.

Ruthie pulled her self away from Martin to look at the caller id.

"It's either Mac or Margaret…probably Margaret." Ruthie said looking at the very dejected face of her boyfriend.

"Go ahead…get it." Martin said sitting up now too.

"I'll just be a minute. I promise." Ruthie said picking up the cell phone and answering it.

True to her word she had only been on the phone a few minutes but it was enough to change the whole mood of the room as she hung up angry.

"I take it Mac didn't exactly roll with the punches on this one." Martin said reading the look on Ruthie's face.

"Mac is a total loser." Ruthie said venting her anger to Martin.

"He may just not be ready to accept the responsibility…but I know Mac…he'll come around." Martin promised.

"She's not pregnant." Ruthie said as if that would somehow explain her anger

"Okay now I'm confused if she's not pregnant than why is Mac a loser?" Martin asked.

"Because he dumped her, that's why." Ruthie said trying to fill in the pieces of the puzzle for Martin.

"That makes no sense." Martin said more confused than ever.

"I know, which is why we have to go over there, you can talk to him while I try and console Margaret.

"Maybe we should just stay out of it." Martin said having had enough drama in the last few days.

"Mac is our friend and he's about to make a huge mistake and Margaret is our friend and she's hurting. I'm going; you can stay here if you want." Ruthie said already off the bed and ready to head out the door.

"Just let me get my shoes back on." Martin said letting her win this one as he stuck his feet back into his sneakers and quickly tied the laces.

Lily was dying to know why Olivia wanted to meet up with Wes but couldn't think of a way to find out if she wasn't willingly going to share the info with her. She couldn't exactly tell her she heard the message when she was making out with Wes on his couch.

No... that was definitely not the right angle to take.

Ever since Olivia and Wes had broken up it had been like pulling teeth to get her to talk about him only being able to illicit an occasional…"I miss him" from her.

All she ever talked about was Mark and how deliriously happy with him she was, which made the whole phone call to Wes' the other night make no sense, unless she was lying to her, Lily, her best friend.

Unable to take it any longer Lily approached the kitchen table and sat down with her friend.

"So…what's up?" Lily said as nonchalant as she could manage.

Olivia looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"Well aren't you the stranger." Olivia said looking at her friend. "Can I get you some tea?"

"No…I'm good." Lily said feeling her opportunity to find the answers already fading as Olivia picked the magazine back up.

"So have you heard from Wes lately?" Lily blurted out before she could stop herself.

Slowly Olivia put down her magazine suspicion in her eyes.

"Why would I hear from Wes?" Olivia questioned her friend.

"No reason…I just know you said you missed him the other day…I thought maybe…I don't know…you might reach out to him." Lily said stumbling through her explanation and mentally kicking herself for being so transparent.

Olivia knew Lily well enough to know that she was definitely being dodgy about something…what she wasn't quite sure yet though.

"That's funny because I just left him a message the other day. God it's like you can read my mind you are freakishly frightening." Olivia stated somewhat jokingly.

It was the opening Lily had been waiting for.

"You did…why?" Lily said not having to go through the motions of acting interested because this time she truly was.

"It's stupid really and frankly I'm a little embarrassed that I did it now…but I thought someone should." Olivia said purposefully.

"Some one should what?" Lily said impatiently waiting for the full story instead of the abridged one she was being given now.

"Talk to him about the "habits" he's adopting of going to bars and taking home random girls for a night of…who knows." Olivia finished.

Lily didn't like the sick feeling that was forming in the pit of her stomach.

"Exactly how many random girls are we talking about here?" Lily questioned not really sure she was ready for the answer.

"From what I understand he's been bringing them home nightly…a different one every time." Olivia answered.

Lily knew she wasn't the only one, what she hadn't known was that she was one of so many. It bothered her to think of Wes with so many different girls.

"I don't think he would have taken too well to me lecturing him on it anyway." Olivia said breaking though Lily's haze of disgust.

"Maybe you should do it." Olivia said which snapped Lily immediately back to full attention.

"What?" Was all Lily could think of saying in that moment.

"Yes…it's perfect. You and he are still friends…he would listen to you if you talked to him about the girls." Olivia said pleased with herself that she had come up with a solution.

Consider it done thought Lily…yes she and Wes would most definitely be talking about his girl collection.

It had taken Ruthie and Martin a few minutes to get it together and get over to Mac and Margaret's apartment but only a second to sense the immediate tension in the room as they entered it to talk to their friends. Margaret had been relieved to go out side with Ruthie and leave Martin and Mac to talk.

Outside in the fresh air she filled Ruthie in on the scene that had gone down just a little while earlier.

"He told me he wants to see other people now." Margaret said on the verge of tears.

Ruthie couldn't believe it Mac had been reprieved and instead of thanking his lucky stars he was dumping the girl who by all accounts he could have fathered a child with, to go "explore his options." What an ass thought Ruthie, Margaret deserved better than that.

"I've been with him for so long; I don't know what I'm going to do with out him." Margaret said her voice cracking from the waterworks she was trying to hold back.

"Martin is in there right now talking some sense into him." Ruthie assured her hoping with fingers crossed that she was right.

"Not that I don't appreciate Martin's efforts but Mac is stubborn if he decides this is what he wants to do…he'll do it. "Margaret reluctantly admitted to her self and Ruthie now unable to stop the crying.

Martin knew he had never been able to talk Mac out of anything…ever. When Mac had decided he liked Ruthie Martin had tried to reason with him by vowing never to be his friend again if he pursued Ruthie, but pretty much from that night on and every day after that Mac had been everywhere Ruthie was clearly pursuing her even though she already had a boyfriend.

But even he knew it was an empty threat. He didn't want Mac with Ruthie but back then he didn't really understand why and so had let it go when Mac had ignored his ultimatum.

He had remained Mac's friend mostly because he knew Mac was going to need a friend when Ruthie eventually tired of his constant shadowing and shot him down but he had learned the lesson…what Mac wanted he wanted and trying to talk him out of it was impossible.

To be his friend meant accepting that and for most of their friendship he had but this…leaving Margaret on another of his "Mac whims" was unacceptable.

"You're being a total idiot Mac." Martin said pulling no punches.

"Tell me how you really feel dude don't hold back. " Mac said sarcastically to his best friend.

"Margaret loves you Mac, that's a gift when you find it, don't blow it." Martin said still trying to reason with his friend.

"And I love her too…but do I want to spend the rest of my life with her? To be honest with you…I don't really know…and I almost had to. This is my chance to change things so I'm going to." Mac stated no wavering evident on his part.

"If you leave you will lose her." Martin said trying to nail his point home to Mac.

"That's a chance I have to take." Mac decided. 'Because I want what you have."

"You want Ruthie?" Martin said unable to hide his shock.

"No…I gave up on that idea a long time ago because clearly it's always been you that she wanted and the rest of us were just pawns in her quest. I want what you had…to be free and able to date and be with other women." Mac said already living the dream in his head.

"I understand where you're going with this I do…the whole pregnancy thing is a real eye opener but letting it change who you are will be something you will regret…I promise you." Martin said trying to help Mac see the right choice."

"I want to be able to say I at least got to try sex with other woman before I hang up my single status. Is that so wrong?" Mac questioned.

"I was hoping you could learn from my mistakes Mac, not repeat them." Martin admitted.

"I don't look at this as a mistake…more of a life choice. I can't give Margaret the whole ball of wax without knowing for sure she's the one. I need comparisons. When you buy a car you shop around and do test drives, same with choosing a college you explore your options before deciding where to put down roots for four years of your life…and marriage is forever not just four years.

This was just too frustrating for Martin. "Margaret isn't a material possession or a place of higher learning…she's a person and you are going to screw this up if you don't realize that.

"I thought out of everyone you would be the one to understand this." Mac lamented.

"Why?" Martin asked not understanding Mac's line of reasoning.

"Because you've been with other women…you've sampled their delights. You've had the buffet." Mac said somewhat wistfully.

"Please tell me you do not think of that as a good thing." Martin pleaded with his obviously delusional friend.

"How could it not be?" Mac said fully convinced he was missing out on a gravy train of women.

"Because it's not…sex and intimacy should be part of a relationship not the ultimate goal for the night." Martin offered trying to instill a little wisdom.

"That's easy for you to say you've been with three women, while I've only been with one." Mac shot back at him.

"I've only been with two, and this is not about me…it's about you." Martin reminded him.

"What about party girl?" Mac said straying far off topic now as far as Martin was concerned.

"I didn't sleep with her…we just…fooled around." Martin said his discomfort in that moment evident.

"Oh yeah right…you just 'almost" did it. Was it a crisis of conscience or a lack of a condom that made you unable to seal the deal? Honestly I forget." Mac questioned in the same breath he was accusing him in.

"Okay you've more than made your point here…I've been there…I've done that which is why you should listen to me when I tell you…you don't want to go there." Martin started.

"Being with someone just to have sex with them doesn't make you feel better about your life it makes you realize how empty your life is." Martin spoke truthfully his advice derived from his own past experience.

"You didn't answer the question…condom or conscience?" Mac prodded unmercifully.

"Remind me again why I share my mistakes with you…and when doing so hasn't come back to haunt me." Martin said a lot frustrated with Mac now.

"You share because I'm your best buddy…the very same reason I would expect you to now support me on this decision." Mac said fully trying to guilt trip Martin.

Martin knew he needed to take a stance here one way or the other because Mac had made up his mind and there was no going back for him.

"It's a bad decision Mac and I can't support it…but I support you…always have…always will. "Martin admitted.

"Even when you think I'm being stupid?" Mac asked trying to gauge just how much support he could count on.

"Even then." Martin promised.

Elated by Martin's promise of support Mac grabbed him in a big bear hug.

"Thanks man…you're the best. " He said as he patted Martin on the back.

Martin knew in that moment that he had failed in what he had come there to do for better or worse Mac was going to have to make his mistakes and live with the consequences.


	20. Chapter 20

Title: "Unforgivable"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are for the most part the property of the CW network and the television show 7th Heaven.

He knew eventually he was going to have to go down stairs and face her but honestly in that moment he felt absolutely betrayed by those he had trusted.

Downstairs in the living room Ruthie stood face to face with her mother and father.

"I don't understand why you would do this to him! It's not even Sunday why is she here?" Ruthie asked as she paced back and forth in front of her parents her anger mounting.

"It was unintentional sweetie I swear." Annie promised her younger daughter knowing that to be only a half truth.

"Okay…well that's not exactly right." Eric said ratting out his wife unintentionally. "We knew Sandy was coming here with Simon tonight, however…we had no idea that this would be the first time Martin has seen her since the "incident."

"Incident, Is that what we're calling it? "Ruthie said fuming now.

"Well let me set you straight because you're both obviously delusional…that woman in there is nothing but a liar and a user!" "And the "incident" of which you refer was actually a carefully laid out plan from the mind of a sick, twisted woman in need of constant male support who lied to someone who is like a member of our family and tried to trap him into a life time of servitude to her and her illegitimate child!"

"So let's call it what it really is…unforgivable!" Ruthie said finishing up her rant before turning and running up the stairs to find Martin.

"I think she might be a little angry." Eric said as soon as Ruthie was out of earshot.

"Ya think?" Annie shot back. '

"Maybe I should go talk to her." Eric offered not really wanting to but feeling like he should.

"I think she and Martin may need to work this out on their own." Annie said her advice coming from years of experience raising her kids.

Ruthie knew that Martin would either be in her room or his old room; both comfort zones for him in the Camden house over the years.

She decided to try his old room first sensing he needed that kind of familiar territory to sort thru things; seeing the door closed Ruthie hesitantly knocked on it.

Slowly the door came open and she was face to face with Martin.

'If you've come to take me back downstairs I don't think I'm ready yet." Martin informed her.

"I didn't. I came to see if you needed a friend and to apologize for my parent's lack of communication with you." Ruthie told him to ease his suspicions.

"Okay…you can come in then." Martin said opening the door wide enough for her to slip past before he closed it again.

Emotionally exhausted Martin sat back down on the bed.

"I'm so sorry Martin; my parents can be so annoying sometimes, always wanting everyone to get along and…" Ruthie started but Martin cut her off.

"I never told them you know…I've spoken to your dad every week since I left and I never told him that I refused to see Sandy or even to take her phone calls…so this isn't really their fault…it's mine." Martin finished.

Ruthie was not at all comfortable with letting Martin beat himself up over this situation.

"This is Sandy's fault…she's been over here every Sunday for dinner…sometimes with Simon, sometimes without. She's leeched onto our family. She could have told my parents…or Simon could have it's not like he didn't know you were here. I think she set this up…she tried to trap you into talking to her. "Ruthie said in a "aha" moment like she had just solved the big mystery.

"It had to happen sooner or later." Martin said accepting he couldn't change tonight's outcome.

"You don't have to talk to her tonight Martin, no one expects that I promise you." Ruthie said trying to ease his conscience.

"Yeah…I do. I've avoided it until now because my connection to this family was tentative at best, but things have changed…Sandy is going to marry Simon and some day in the future I'm going to marry you. I think before either one of those things happen I should find a way to make peace with her." Martin said wisely.

"Really?" Ruthie said a little stunned by what Martin had just admitted.

'Yeah…I think making peace is the right thing to do." Martin said a little more willing now to face his demons.

"No…I mean…about marrying me in the future…were you serious about that?" Ruthie quizzed a little afraid to scare him back to square one in their relationship.

"Isn't that what you want too…to someday marry me?" Martin questioned hoping for only one answer from her.

"I do…it is" Ruthie said smiling at him.

"Good then we're on the same page." Martin said reaching out for her hand to pull her into his lap.

"So what are you going to say to Sandy?" Ruthie asked reluctantly as Martin caressed the back of her hand with his thumb and fingers.

Martin had no idea because he hadn't been prepared to see Sandy. He had avoided her for years because he still hadn't been able to forgive her for screwing up his life with her blatant lie about the baby being his.

Sandy had taken his life for granted to better hers, it took a selfish, thoughtless person to do that to another human being and that was still unfortunately in his mind how he viewed her.

"I honestly have no idea. I can't forgive her for what she did…not yet anyway." Martin confessed a little ashamed that he was still hanging on to his anger towards her.

Martin knew that every other Camden aside from probably Ruthie had forgiven Sandy and allowed her to remain their friend stating that she was a changed woman who just wanted to make amends.

He wasn't buying it though, she had used any and everyone around him to get him exactly where she wanted him back then and as far as he was concerned she was still doing that and tonight just proved that.

She knew he didn't want to see her but it didn't matter because she wanted him to talk to her. And what Sandy wanted, Sandy got, it was still very much a game of master manipulation for her.

It was unbelievable to Mac how difficult Margaret was being, he had come back to the apartment after a short walk on the promenade to clear his head to find his clothes and most of his possessions littering the front sidewalk of his apartment.

Picking up as much as he could in one trip he hurried up the apartment stairs and went inside in search of Margaret, he found her looking weepy on the bed.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Mac said not letting Margaret's sadness over ride his growing anger.

"I was just helping you pack." Margaret said her anger a little slower to rise but the potential was definitely there.

"And why would I be packing? I'm not going anywhere." Mac said filling Margaret in on what he believed to be the facts.

"You can't seriously be planning on staying here." Margaret said annoyed that this was probably exactly his plan…just another thoughtless Mac move.

"My name is on the lease." Mac reminded her.

"So is mine and Janes'…two against one. Majority rules so we are the deciding factor in who goes and who stays and I vote you!" Margaret said triumphantly.

"As if…unless you've got some magic wand that you can wave and get my name off the lease then I'm not going." Mac said adamantly.

"We still have over six months left on our lease renewal." Margaret reminded him accentuating the misery she would have to endure to live with him that much longer.

"Then we make the best of it, you go your way and I'll go mine. I'll move all my stuff that you haven't trashed into my old bedroom and we can be roommates again." Mac offered up as a solution.

Margaret didn't want to be just his roommate again and she certainly didn't want him living under the same roof with her under those circumstances. Unfortunately she didn't see any way around it just yet because he was right about the lease and as much as she hated him in that moment she knew he could never find another apartment as cheap as theirs.

She was stuck making the sacrifices again it was the story of her life.

Martin had gone down stairs to dinner reluctantly and had made small talk with everyone including Sandy and it had irked him to no end.

The worse part had been the staring…he felt like everyone was waiting for him to explode, to say something out of line and for that very reason he held it together occasionally touching Ruthie's hand under the table for comfort and strength.

As the table was being cleared Sandy was practically the only one who didn't offer to help and he knew it was because she was waiting for him ask her to come and talk with him.

He didn't want to do it but he knew that he had to so reluctantly he got up from the table and after taking his dishes to the sink went over to Sandy.

"I think we should talk…outside." Martin said between gritted teeth.

"Okay." Sandy said getting up a small tentative smile on her face.

Ruthie watched as Sandy got up and followed Martin outside to the back yard…a little pang of jealousy springing up the moment the door closed making the conversation they were about to have a private one.

Martin was walking a few steps ahead of Sandy not wanting to be too close to the house as they had this long, overdue conversation.

When he thought they were far enough away he stopped and turned to her practically running into her having misjudged the distance between them.

"I'm sorry…" Sandy began.

"I'm fine." Martin said silencing her.

"No…I mean for everything.' Sandy confessed the tears starting to form behind her eyes.

Sandy could still sense Martin's very hard exterior towards her and it sadden her to think how badly she had messed up with him.

She really had thought the baby was his at first, completely dismissing the one night she and Simon had shared after a terrible fight he'd had with Rose.

It had seemed more likely due to timing that the baby was Martins…or at least that was what she had tried to believe knowing that confessing it might be Simon's would completely have wrecked him and Rose…and she hadn't been sure Simon would forgive her for that because for better or worse he had loved Rose.

Caustic Rose…how she had managed to land Simon Camden when so many other girls, including her self, had failed back then never ceased to amaze Sandy.

"So what made you decide to finally talk to me?" Sandy continued since Martin had failed to acknowledge her first attempt at an apology.

"It's just time to close that chapter in our lives." Martin admitted his heart still holding on tight to its resentment though.

"All I ever wanted was a chance to explain Martin." Sandy said the tears now beginning to slowly fall down her cheeks.

"Fine, explain…just don't lie to me Sandy, I've had enough of your lies to last me a lifetime. I'm not an idiot…I know you never cared for me and that you just used me, first to make Simon jealous and then to raise his child." Martin said his temper beginning to show.

"I really thought that Aaron was yours in the beginning." Sandy promised hoping it somehow helped that she'd not knowingly dragged him into the drama that had forever changed his life path.

"I believe you…but answer me this…When did you realize the truth?" Martin demanded to know.

Sandy knew he deserved to know the truth but it was a truth she knew wouldn't bring them any closer to closure than they were now. The truth was she had known or at least suspected almost from the minute Aaron was born…his eyes were Simons', It was when Martin had shown up at the hospital and they had talked and semi worked everything out that she had decided not to enlighten him.

She hadn't wanted to be alone and she'd had no guarantees that if Simon knew the baby was his it would have changed anything for him because he had wanted to marry Rose.

"I suspected it the day Aaron was born.' Sandy admitted reluctantly gambling on Martin's good grace at that point.

"So for five months you let me get close to and fall more and more in love with Aaron knowing that I wasn't his father? How did you not picture that scenario blowing up in your face?" Martin asked stunned by her thoughtless actions.

"I was trying to make a family for Aaron. I didn't want him growing up like I did with an absentee father." Sandy confessed her guilt beginning to get a little overwhelming.

"You didn't think it was equally important that he grew up knowing who his real father was?" Martin questioned alarmed that Sandy had really rationalized all this in her head.

It made sense to her even if it wouldn't to somebody else.

"I didn't know for sure…I only suspected." Sandy started but Martin quickly cut her off.

"Don't even go there…you ruined my life and changed everyone's opinion about me and I gave up my last year of high school, and made all those sacrifices for you and all the time you knew that it should have been Simon in my place! " Martin shouted at her.

Sandy knew it was time to throw her self on the mercy of the court.

"I made some mistakes Martin…huge…selfish mistakes and if I could take them back I would…but I can't…they're done and I can't get that time in your life back for you. I know that I screwed up and all I'm asking now is for you to find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me so we can move forward.

"I can't be your friend Sandy, you ruined any chance of that with your lies and I wish I was a bigger more forgiving person…but I'm not." Martin said stating the facts from his heart and emotions.

"So you won't even try?" Sandy said unable to believe he would always harbor this resentment towards her.

"I have a feeling that the Camdens' won't let me off the hook that easy. So…I'm going to try, but I get the feeling that you were expecting some kind of miracle tonight and I'm telling you it's not going to happen…not tonight…maybe in the future…we'll have to see how things go." Martin said setting the record straight for her.

"That's all I want…just for us to at least try and find an even ground…a place where we might actually start getting along." Sandy confessed this as her deepest desire in her life at that moment.

"Okay good…then that's where we are at." Martin said a little surprised at the outcome of their conversation as he hadn't even realized going into it how desperately he wanted to forgive and move forward.

It was definitely going to take some time, but he was ready to let go of his victimized attitude if it meant making peace for the Camden's sake.

He didn't want every holiday, birthday or random family get together to be awkward or uncomfortable for anyone. The Camdens' had always been a tight knit family and he wasn't about to be the first one to start unraveling that thread if they were forced to choose sides.

He loved Ruthie and he loved her family if gaining those two prizes meant tolerating Sandy then he would. But someday he hoped he would be able to do more than just tolerate her. Someday he hoped he might even like her again, she was after all destined to be his sister in law by marriage.

Just as their conversation finished the back door popped open and Eric Camden stuck his head out to announce desert was on the table.

"Thank you for talking to me Martin." Sandy said as she gave him a somewhat awkward hug.

"No problem." Martin said quickly extracting himself from the close contact. "We should go get some pie."

"How do you know its pie?" Sandy asked Martin.

"Mrs. Camden promised to make all my favorites. I love hot cherry pie alamode." Martin told her.

"I didn't know that about you." Sandy said realizing probably for the first time that if she had kept up the facade of Martin being Aaron's father, she probably would have ended up married to a resentful stranger.

"You never asked." Martin told her summing up their time together as exactly what it had been…all about her and nothing about him.

"I should have asked." Sandy admitted saddened by this observation of her short fall.

"It wouldn't have changed anything…I wasn't in love with you." Martin reminded her.

"I know…but I still should have asked. I never tried to know you…I just kept trying to make you someone you weren't." Sandy said again on the verge of tears.

"I can't believe I did that. It's hollow and it's late…way late, but I am truly sorry for everything I did to you Martin, and honestly looking back on it now it will take a miracle for you to get past it all." Sandy realized.

"Then I say we pray for a miracle." Martin said giving Sandy just a glimmer of hope for the future before he turned and started back to the house.


	21. Chapter 21

Title: "Too Little Too Late"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and 7th Heaven.

There was a saying thought Mac as he stood idly in the kitchen watching as Jane and Margaret scurried around the apartment getting her ready for her date.

Oh yeah he remembered it now…you made your bed now lie In it….and boy was he being forced to lie in it.

Mac could not wrap his head around the fact that Margaret had a date. It seemed to him like they had just broken up, the reality was that it had been like three weeks but it felt like three days to Mac.

Margaret had wanted to do the right thing and so had told him she had a date that night not in an attempt to make him jealous simply to inform him, but he was jealous…painfully so.

Across the apartment Margaret stopped her hurried activity for a moment to watch Mac as he struggled with his inner demons.

She was still reeling from Mac's reaction to her telling him about Stephen, her date for that evening, she had expected indifference and outwardly that was what he had given her but his eyes told a different story…he was hurt, angry and confused.

She'd been with him too long not to be able to read the different emotions on his face.

"I can cancel if you want me to." Margaret told him though it wasn't really what she wanted. She was miserable without Mac and could use a little "happy" in her life and

Margaret liked Stephen, he was cute and funny and best of all he was into her and told her so, unlike Mac who she had always had to probe and wheedle any kind of sentiment out of.

Sentimentally Margaret remembered back to the first time Mac had told her that he loved her, she had believed in that moment that they would last forever.

How short forever can be thought Margaret sadly.

As Margaret gazed into Mac's eyes he knew he could keep this date from happening but as usual unable to get over his huge pride he'd said exactly the wrong thing.

"It's cool…you're allowed to date…we both are." Mac reminded her painfully.

Margaret knew as true as that was, that Mac had yet to do just that and after three weeks of failed attempts she had really hoped that he was reconsidering things.

She didn't hold any of this against him she knew his fear stemmed from the deep rooted fear of ending up like his parents, he never wanted to be divorced and so needed to be absolutely sure his intentions were based on being totally and completely in love.

It irked Margaret that he had never fully opened himself up to her always holding back that part of his heart that would connect their souls and turn it into lovemaking versus just sex. For Mac it had been all about passion and wanting no emotions involved.

A part of her still believed that if she'd been able to break down that barrier none of this would be happening.

As the doorbell rang Mac tensed and Jane rushed over to open it greeting Martin and Ruthie.

Margaret glanced quickly in a mirror to make sure she looked okay but instead saw Mac over her shoulder in the kitchen looking forlorn. She might have reconsidered going in that moment if not for Ruthie coming up beside her.

"You ready to go? You told me that you told Stephen we would meet him at the movie theater at 7:30pm" Ruthie reminded her.

Margaret turned to look at Mac who was at the moment berating Martin in hushed tones.

"Thanks buddy really appreciate you setting her up on a date so soon after we broke up." Mac said clearly annoyed with Martin.

"Okay…first of all…we didn't, we're just double dating and secondly why do you care? You broke up with her remember?" Martin said reminding his friend that he put the wheels of this car crash in motion.

"Do you think she's afraid the guy might try something and that's why she asked you guys to come along? " Mac said concern evident on the edge of his voice.

Martin sighed." I think you need to stop being an idiot. You obviously still like her…so tell her and end this stupid charade." he suggested.

"Really…you think I should? Mac said questioning for a second his previous plan of action but almost instantaneously backpedaling. "No…I can't I haven't even gone on one single date yet we'd still be right where we were before."

"Then date someone…but don't expect Margaret not to if you're going to." Martin stated trying to get it through Macs head what he was risking.

"Yeah…maybe I will…maybe tonight in fact." Mac said grabbing his jacket off the chair and quickly putting it on. "Thanks for the advice buddy." Mac said hurrying out the front door.

"What advice, where is he going?" Ruthie asked as she came up beside Martin.

Martin looked at Ruthie guilt written all over his face." I'm pretty sure somewhere to do something stupid. I opened my mouth and told him to date someone if he felt so bad about Margaret going out."

"Smooth move." Ruthie said sarcasm lacing her reply.

"Yeah…thanks I feel bad enough without your commentary. Can we please just go now and get this night started?" Martin pleaded.

Ian stood in front of the police station doors willing him self to go in.

He had no idea how Jane had become so important to him in the last three weeks and even less understanding of how she had talked him into doing what he was about to do.

Reluctantly Ian entered the police station and walked up to the front desk immediately the uniformed police officer looked up from her paperwork.

"Can I help you son?"

Ian took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "Yes…I'd like to drop some charges I filed." He said nervously police stations always made him feel that way.

Methodically the police woman pulled pages from different locations on the desk and handed them over to him.

"Fill these out and give them to Officer Swanson in the corner over there." She said as she pointed to a tired looking, paunchy, overweight man behind a desk.

"Okay…thanks." Ian said taking the paperwork before going to sit down.

Jane and Ruthie had both better appreciate this thought Ian as he looked at the sizable stack of papers that needed to be completed to finish this mess once and for all.

Martin tried really hard not to like Stephen for Mac's sake but he was a genuinely nice guy and Martin found him self relating to him on many levels and really starting to befriend him.

As soon as they found their seats in the movie theater Ruthie leaned over to Martin.

"So what do you think of him." She asked conspiratorially.

"I like him." Martin reluctantly admitted.

"Me too." Ruthie confessed. "And I really didn't want to for Mac's sake."

Margaret leaned towards Ruthie, a smile on her face something Ruthie hadn't seen for a long time.

"He's pretty great right?" Margaret questioned beaming.

Ruthie loved Mac to pieces and she wanted to protect his former claim on Margaret, but Margaret was her friend too and she deserved an honest answer.

"He's amazingly sweet and genuine and I think he really likes you Margaret." Ruthie admitted saying an inward sorry to Mac for not standing up for him right then.

Margaret sat back in her seat satisfied that her instincts about Stephen had been right.

Mac had had his chance with Margaret and had blown it and it was time for Margaret to let go of the past and move on thought Ruthie.

And Stephen was the ideal guy for her to do that with Ruthie realized as she watched him use a napkin to dust a little popcorn off Margaret's face before leaning in to give her a tender kiss on the lips.

Ruthie probably could have analyzed and over analyzed all night but Martin took it upon him self to decide she'd paid enough attention to Margaret and not enough to him. He started the kisses on a slow and sexy trail down the side of her neck until he was nestled in the sensitive nape prompting her to willingly turn her lips to his.

He slowly taunted her by claiming her bottom lip with a gentle nip of his teeth sending shivers of pleasure coursing through her body but the follow through was even better as her molded his mouth to hers and she began to match him movement for movement until the kisses were heated and inspiring.

Ruthie didn't know if their bold display of affection made Margaret and Stephen uncomfortable but at that point she was beyond caring.

It was like a magnet between her and Martin in moments like this, an unbreakable force that brought them closer in intimacy and wanting. She lost herself time and time again in the deliciousness of him…she loved the taste of him and the musky smell of him.

Mac had been using his fake id all over town before finally ending up at the promenade in front of the movie theater a little too tipsy for his own good.

Every girl that went by good looking or not he winked at and gave his signature grin hoping to attract their attention…finally he scored as a leggy blonde with big doe eyes took him up on his greeting and sat down beside him.

"I'm Megan." She said extending her hand in greeting.

Megan liked this guy he was really cute and just what she needed to make Vincent jealous, yes he would do nicely she thought as she moved even closer to him on the bench.

"Megan…you're looking lovely tonight." Mac said trying hard not to slur his words.

"You're looking pretty cute yourself stranger." Megan said giving him a winning smile.

"Mac…name is Mac." he said grinning back at her the promise in her eyes egging him on.

Mac had no delusions as to why he ended up here he wanted Margaret to see him, even better if she saw him with a girl.

Like a perfectly shot scene in a movie it all came together, Mac spotted Margaret and her date coming out of the theater with Ruthie and Martin and Megan spotted Vincent walking towards her.

"What do you say we skip the small talk and just make out?" Mac said bold from his earlier intake of illegally obtained alcohol.

"Works for me." Megan said taking Mac's face in her hands and planting one on him for Vincent's benefit.

Simultaneously the two groups ended up in front of Megan and Mac making out. Ruthie's old boyfriend Vincent was the first to speak.

"Get your lips off my girlfriend jerk!" Vincent yelled at Mac not realizing who he was.

Fully satisfied with them selves that they had accomplished what they had hoped for Mac and Megan came up for air the smiles on both their faces quickly dying as they alternately recognized people in the group.

"Vincent? Mac said somewhat confused.

"Ruthie?" Megan chimed in.

It took a while and some heated fights on separate sides of the Promenade for everyone to sort out the mess of a situation that both Megan and Mac had orchestrated unknowing of each others intent.

"Is that why we came here tonight so you could run into Ruthie?!" Megan spat anger and jealousy mixed.

"I had no idea Ruthie was going to be here. I haven't seen her in years.' Vincent admitted to his girlfriend of the past six months.

"I think the bigger issue here is why you were making out with Mac!" Vincent wanted and needed to know.

Megan had hated Ruthie in school, well Ruthie and any other girl that Vincent had liked. Vincent had been her eternal high school crush and she still couldn't believe her luck at running into him after so many years and finally getting the chance to date him.

"I wanted to make you jealous." Megan reluctantly admitted to him. "I saw you talking to that girl at the ice cream store and that she was flirting with you and it made me mad.

"She's an old friend…nothing else." Vincent said in an apology to Megan.

"You don't have to make me jealous…I want to be with you…just you." Vincent admitted even though he was still unable to stop him self from sneaking a glance at Ruthie out of the corner of his eye as he brought his girlfriend into his arms for a hug.

"Your old boyfriends keep popping up everywhere. I'm starting to get a complex" Martin said putting his arm around Ruthie as they sat on the park bench waiting for Mac and Margaret to quit arguing.

It was getting more uncomfortable by the minute as Martin was not failing to miss the looks Vincent kept shooting Ruthie's way. Looks Ruthie was thankfully oblivious to as she cuddled in closer to Martin."

"So have you decided about Scotland yet?" Martin said just making conversation to pass the time as he shot warning glares at Vincent.

He really…really hated that guy.

'Actually…I've been meaning to tell you this for a while…" Ruthie started a sly smile on her face.

Martin held his breath…maybe she wasn't going to Scotland after all…although the thought of her in Glen Oak with all her old boyfriends was a little disturbing, but still Glen Oak was better than Scotland.

"I'm not going to Scotland. I'm going to college in California." Ruthie said keeping the best part for last.

Martin smiled and hugged her in his excitement.

"I promise you won't regret this, I'll drive up to Glen Oak every spare chance I get." He said grinning from ear to ear.

"If that's what you want just promise me you'll stay in San Diego some times to be with me." Ruthie said waiting for his full understanding to sink in.

"San Diego?" Martin said daring to hope.

"Yep…I got late acceptance to San Diego State…I'm going to be moving to San Diego after summer is over." Ruthie said happily glad she had finally shared her news with him.

"Really…you're really going to be just like minutes away?" Martin said unable to believe that what he had hoped for was coming true.

"I already have an apartment and a roommate and my classes…not very many though a lot of them were taken, but my counselor told Margaret and Mac that I can audit classes I want in the hopes they'll have drop outs and let me in." Ruthie said the information spilling out of her at lightening speed now.

"Margaret and Mac helped you with this?" Martin questioned but knowing full well his friends had definitely been instrumental in making this happen while Ruthie had been at camp with him.

Stephen had left earlier at Margaret's request; she hadn't wanted to have a showdown with Mac in front of him.

His kiss goodnight had been sweet and unexpected and had sent Mac over the edge.

'You're unbelievable!" Mac tossed angrily at Margaret.

"I'm unbelievable?" Margaret said the shock evident.

"You show up on my date, you make out with a total stranger in front of me and I'm the one who's unbelievable?! You're pathetic Mac!" Margaret finished her temper at the boiling point.

"And you're drunk!" She couldn't help adding.

"You're one to talk that guy was all over you." Mac said highly exaggerating the kiss.

Margaret knew she could stand there all night trying to justify her actions with Mac or she could let him have the truth right between the eyes…she opted for the later.

"You have no right to be here Mac…none! You wanted to be free of me so you could date…so do it! Don't keep hanging on to me because you can't find anyone dumb enough to take you up on your sex with no strings offer… I don't want you anymore…I'm over you." Margaret said with a finality that scared Mac a little.

"You don't mean that." Mac said a wounded look in his eyes.

'Fine I don't…but this I do mean…I want to date Stephen. I like him and he likes me and I want to see where this goes." Margaret stated no hesitation in her tone.

"If you're just trying to hurt me…mission accomplished" Mac said solemnly.

"That's ironic coming from you…but there's no truth in it. You broke up with me so you and I could date other people and I found someone I want to be with. You don't get to change the rules just because you don't like the way the game is playing out." Margaret reminded him.

Mac felt like he'd swallowed a bowling ball that was sitting heavy and painful in his gut. He'd been a fool and now it was too late to get a second chance and that he realized was what he wanted…a second chance…a do-over.

"I love you Margaret." Mac said for maybe only the third or fourth time in their relationship and Margaret realized that for the first time he really meant it.

"I love you too Mac…but it's too late. I'm sorry." Margaret said leaning in to give him a final kiss on the cheek.

It was hard to watch Mac breaking down but Margaret knew it was for the best. If they'd been made for each other it would have worked out.

As she held him in her arms comforting him she realized the finality of their situation and started to cry too.

Martin and Ruthie both watched the scene unfolding with heavy hearts. They loved both Margaret and Mac equally and sympathized with their plight all the while being thankful they were in a solid happy place them selves.

"Don't ever break my heart that way." Martin said cupping Ruthie's chin in his hand to turn her face towards him.

Ruthie knew Martin was probably far more capable of devastating her like Margaret had Mac.

This was where the heeded warning sprang from and grew a life of its own.

"Don't ever give me a reason to." Ruthie stated truthfully.

Martin knew that she had a point, Mac had brought this on himself but still the sight of his friend lost and alone reaching out for the woman who was slowly extracting herself to leave him was enough to make his compassion for his friend and his situation overwhelming to the point of held back tears.

As Margaret approached them Ruthie stood up.

"Are you okay?" Ruthie asked a worried frown on her face.

"I'll be okay…but I think Mac could use a friend." Margaret said indicating Martin.

"And maybe a place to stay for a couple of days until everything sinks in." Margaret finished her voice raspy from crying.

Martin got up and gave Margaret a hug before heading over to help his friend. "I'm really sorry things worked out this way for you guys."

"Me too." Margaret said honestly.

Both Ruthie and Margaret turned to watch Martin go.

"Martin will take care of him, don't worry." Ruthie assured her friend.

"I do love him Ruthie…but it's just too much…you know?" Margaret said waiting for some confirmation that what she'd just done was the best thing for everyone.

'I know." Ruthie said giving her friend a hug as she watched Martin his compassion in full force as he helped Mac recover a little of his dignity by helping him stand on his own two feet.


	22. Chapter 22

Title: "How Can I Trust You Now?"

Author : Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they belong to the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

It had taken a week to get the backyard barbeque together but realizing the scope of people it needed to include Annie Camden had deemed it necessary to wait.

The group that gathered in the backyard of the Camden home to celebrate the news of the charges being dropped against Martin was a pure testament to the fact that people could change.

Surveying the people milling around the backyard Martin couldn't help thinking they were an odd bunch that he would never have expected to see together much less actually getting along.

For Martin the hardest one to swallow being there was of course Ian but he knew he wouldn't be standing her right now if he hadn't had a change of heart about having Martin convicted for assaulting him.

And beyond all logical reasoning Ian was indeed a changed man whose attention centered mainly on Jane now.

It might not be true love but it was distracting him from Ruthie so Martin was good with that.

And Martin had made peace with the fact that a part of Ian would always love Ruthie.

From that perspective it was a relief to see him into Jane and happy to be moving on.

For Ruthie the thorn in her side had to be Lily being there but not unlike Martin she realized that she deserved to be there for her unselfish gesture of help when Martin had needed it the most.

The upside was that she hadn't come alone but had dragged Wes along for company.

Wes who now stood off to the side of the yard looking gloomy as he watched Lily having an animated conversation with some blond guy that had her laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes.

He knew he had no claim to Lily though she'd given him every opportunity to make one.

She'd started the most recent tension between them by avoiding him in an attempt to not have to confront him about his habit of sleeping around.

He had escalated it by displaying uncharacteristic behavior which had both stunned her and enlightened her to a side of Wes she wasn't sure she knew how to deal with.

He'd been attempting to reach her for days and not used to being avoided had done the unthinkable and shown up at her work and had them call her out of a meeting inventing a made up emergency.

As Lily had reached the reception area her face had clouded over with confusion.

"What are you doing here?" "What's the emergency?" Lily said scared it had something to do with Martin since he was really their common bond...or Olivia, he'd been separated from her a short enough time that he might still be contacted if she got hurt or injured some how.

Her mind raced wildly with all the possibilities as she stood holding her breath waiting for him to say something, more afraid by the minute that it was bad news.

"I need to speak to you…outside." Wes stated trying to appear official to the receptionist so as not to get Lily in trouble.

On the verge of panic Lily followed him thinking it must be tragic news and he was being considerate in not wanting her co-workers to witness her break down.

As soon as they hit the outside he turned to her and she steeled herself against whatever painful news he was about to deliver.

But nothing could have prepared her for the next words out of his mouth.

"I need you to tell me why you are avoiding me." Wes said trying to keep his voice even now not wanting her to know how desperate he felt in that moment.

"Okay are you completely nuts?" Lily questioned slowly her anger starting to simmer now.

"I was in an important meeting, I thought someone was hurt." She said as she pushed him back to restrain herself from pummeling him with her fists as her temper flared.

"This is neither the time nor the place for this conversation." She fumed.

'Then when – and where and what guarantees do I have that you'd show up for the proper timing and placement of this conversation? "Wes began his voice full of accusation.

"I don't know…but not here. This is my work, and you cannot show up here like this and make fake emergencies up just because I've been avoiding you!" She finished.

"So you are avoiding me." Wes repeated back to her a little stunned at her admission but recovering quickly to disguise his wounded pride. "Well guess what – you could have saved all this trouble if you had just returned my calls" he stated defiantly.

Lily could not believe how juvenile Wes was being. "We aren't in high school Wes, I'm an adult with a job and responsibilities and I can't jump every time you ask me to... I am not available at your every whim."

It was in that moment that Lily started to think that dating men significantly younger than her probably wasn't the best idea.

"I'm not asking you to cater to my whims. I'm asking to you to make a simple damn phone call." "It's called communication Lily and you suck at it." Wes stated his eyes blazing anger now.

Wes was right she should have called, but since she'd been enlightened by Olivia regarding his extracurricular woman she had found it easier, although not less painful, to just shut him out…maybe she was being a little juvenile too.

The fact was that she didn't need the pain of falling for a guy with his kind of intentions which were to please himself and himself only. She needed the big picture, the happily ever after and she was slowly convincing her self that Wes in no way fit that scenario.

And she had convinced herself that is she was being petty it was to protect her heart.

"You need to go now Wes." Lily said matter of fact and completely over this argument.

"Only if you promise me that you will come by tonight so we can talk." Wes bargained knowing he wasn't prepared to leave it like this.

If Lily didn't want to be with him…well it would suck but she at least owed him an explanation as to why and what he had done to change things.

Because he was certain now that he had done something, he just didn't know what it was.

Watching Wes standing on the other side of the Camden's lawn Lily sighed. Things were still so up in the air with them.

When Wes had shown up at her work that day she had come to the realization that she needed to end things with him before he really broke her heart but never being the one on that end of things she'd had no idea how to.

Boys always dumped her not the other way around and besides that it complicated things that she and Wes were actually good friends.

To their friendship he was whole heartedly committed it was committing beyond that line that starting his body to sweat and his heart to go into palpitations.

As she had headed for his house that night after work she knew she had no right to be mad at him she had virtually given him the all access pass with no stings attached, to now try and tie a string to it seemed like reneging on that agreement and changing the rules with out his consent.

When she arrived at his apartment and he opened the door to her holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a sheepish smile her resolve had almost crumbled though. There was nothing more poignant and sweet than a man who knew a good apology always involved flowers.

"These are for you." Wes said handing her the ridiculously large amount of Lilies.

"I realized after leaving your work today what an ass I was to show up there demanding your attention.

Lily smiled as she accepted the beautiful display from him.

"Anyway I thought what's more appropriate to apologize with then Lilies for my Lily." He said sincerely giving her his most winning smile.

Lily was pretty sure if he kept this up she was going to be his again, back in that place of limbo commitment that she was trying so desperately to extract herself from, so she quickly gave him a hug to thank him but immediately felt that undeniable attraction, that force that bent her will to his.

She had to fight it this time or it would certainly suck her under into an abyss of compromises and altered values.

In trying to will her self to pull away from him she only ended up worsening her situation as she now gazed into the blue-green of his eyes and immediately became restless to darken them with passion and wanting.

"Thank you." She said stammering a little over her words. "They're beautiful and they are my favorite flower." Lily admitted still trying to ease some of the sexual tension that enveloped them like a deep mysterious fog.

Not waiting for an invitation and goaded on by the fact that she hadn't stepped out of the embrace Wes lowered his lips to Lily's and gave her a kiss that seared straight through to his soul.

It was a feeling that scared him but his need was stronger than his fear and quickly overrode his brain trying to process the implications of giving himself completely over to her in that moment.

What a frightening thought Wes realized that he once again "needed" someone, a feeling he had made a vow to run from after Olivia had stomped on his heart.

But instead of running he was pulling her closer, drowning in the depth of her essence and the way she tasted as he began exploring her body with his lips. Convincing him self that it would all be okay as long as she never realized how much he needed her.

Lily's senses were on overload as Wes began to work his magic on her and she knew it would be simple to just let it happen with him as she had so many times before, but her mind flashed with jumbled images of Wes doing these exact same things with other women and she pulled abruptly away.

It was a reaction that caught Wes completely by surprise.

"I can't…we can't do this anymore Wes." Lily said on the verge of tears her breathing ragged from his passionate assault on her body and lips.

"Why?" Wes asked his confusion at her quick shut down written all over his face, his breathing as uneven and ragged as hers.

Deliberately Lily walked over to the couch and sat down to try and ease her trembling body and even her breathing.

It was confession time.

"Because I wasn't honest with you….even more I lied to myself."Lily started ready to take the blame for this fiasco.

"I don't understand.' Wes said interrupting her as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"I told you I could do this but I can't –­ I'm not a casual sex type of girl."

"I need emotions and feelings and to trust that the person next to me at night is there because they need me and more importantly they love me."

Lily saw the nervous twitch of Wes hands at the mention of the word love but she was in too deep now and continued on.

"I tried to change that for you…but I can't." Lily said finally able to finish her thought.

"I think we're a little more than casual sex." Wes said surprised that it upset him that she grouped them into that kind of a category.

"I'm one of many to you Wes, maybe we're not casual but were not committed either and I need someone who wants to be with just me." Lily stated honestly.

It was finally out there she had thrown down the gauntlet and challenged him to pick it up to prove to her that he could, would and wanted to be that guy.

It was a crystal clear picture to him now and now all he wanted was his ignorance back.

"You want a commitment from me? Wes said his throat drying up at the thought of surrendering his heart again. "Why now?" He said unable to help feeling pressured.

"Because it's the way a relationship works Wes." Lily stated plain and simple.

"So was this what you had in mind all along? Wes questioned accusingly feeling liked he been played liked a finely tuned piano.

"No. I really thought I could do this, I thought after Martin and Adam a relationship where I didn't sacrifice my heart was the ideal solution to my problems." Lily interjected truthfully.

"Adam?" Wes questioned a jealous vibe begin to course through him.

"My ex-fiancé." Lily said unwilling to elaborate any further.

Wes knew there had been a former fiancé he just didn't know much about him.

And it shocked him to the core in that moment to realize it bothered him to think of her being intimately connected to anyone else but him.

But he was stubborn if nothing else and his heart was his heart and he planned to protect it for as long as he could hold out. He wanted Lily and yes he admitted reluctantly now he even needed her…but he was terrified of giving in and surrendering control of his feelings to her.

The ultimate goal was to end up there but he needed the timing to be his…not hers.

"You know my story and that Olivia changed something in me when she left." Wes said trying yet again to justify to her why things were the way they were and needed to remain that way.

Lily looked at Wes frustrated. "I'm sorry Wes but I think that's an excuse."

"I think that it helps you to dignify your behavior towards relationships to say you're damaged and unfixable. I don't buy it anymore I think you're only as broken as you choose to stay. "

Wes started to interrupt but one look from Lily silenced him as he realized she was far from being done berating him.

"Olivia never wanted to hurt you…she loved you and it killed her to leave you, she even tried to fight it, but she needed Mark in her life."

"And sometimes needing someone has an undeniable pull." Lily said afraid she'd been a little too forthcoming with Olivia information.

"You make what she did sound noble, like she did me some big favor by running a Mack truck over my heart." Wes said almost shaking with anger now at her callous appraisal of his past relationship with the woman he had believed to be the love of his life.

Lily knew she had stepped over that boundary that he had placed early on by bringing up Olivia, but she was frustrated that he deemed himself so unreachable now and that he refused to take any steps to heal.

But even more than that was the fact that he used woman to fill the void that Olivia had left pushing his recovery from heartache even farther and farther into the future…or maybe into Never Never land, she wasn't sure.

"I'm not trying to hurt you Wes but it's time to move on in a healthy way."

"You've deluded yourself into thinking that being with woman after woman is the answer to moving on but it's not."

"I stupidly even thought trying it your way would help me but it didn't instead I sacrificed my heart again to yet another guy who doesn't want it. "

Wes wanted desperately to be able to tell her that wasn't true, that he did want it but his fears kept him silent.

Silent when he should have spoken up he would realize later when he thought back on this moment.

So I'm done…I'm over it. I need to heal and I know even if you don't, that this is not the way to make that happen." Lily stated with a finality that sent sorrow and pain straight into his heart.

He wanted to be strong for her to give her what she wanted but he still hadn't forgiven himself for not being enough for Olivia…for being less than she needed.

"I'm not sure why you think I'm jumping from woman to woman…" Wes started knowing that since Lily he hadn't been, until recently that is, until she had begun shutting him out and avoiding him restarting the cycle he had previously used to dull the pain of being alone.

But her next questioned answered his unfinished statement all too clearly.

"When is the last time you had sex Wes? " Lily asked cutting to the chase, knowing full well she didn't want the answer as soon as she saw the expression of panic on his face.

"It's not what you think…' Wes began but Lily cut him off again because she was truly done.

"Never mind…I don't really want you to answer that." Lily stated saddened that she had expected him to disappoint her and he had done exactly that.

Wes felt them disintegrating fast and in a panic threw her promises back at her reminding her she knew exactly what the rules were before she had started with him.

"You knew I was still dating other people…you said it was fine with you." Wes reminded her trying to lessen what he understood now to be the root of her problem with him.

"Dating people and _"doing people_" are two different things Wes." Lily said chastising him."

"Casual encounters aren't going to be what heal yours heart…you need to feel again, to let yourself need someone and love someone…but mostly you need to learn to trust someone again."

"But I think you like being damaged because it helps you reconcile who you've become without actually having to feel guilty." Lily said accusingly her ire up now.

"What I've become…?" Wes said the thread of annoyance in his voice about to break.

She was judging him and he didn't like it.

Deciding it was time to clear the air Lily turned to Wes a sad look on her face.

"You're a player Wes, plain and simple a different girl on pretty much a nightly basis." Lily said showing him she knew exactly what he been up to and the person he'd become.

It couldn't have hurt more if she'd smacked him hard across the face. She'd pigeon-holed him as unworthy and convicted him without a fair trial.

Wes knew that that had been true in the beginning but not since he'd begun hanging out with Lily.

With Lily he had learned to need again and he knew that because the minute she had walked out the door he felt empty.

He remembered now as he stood there in the Camden's backyard how he had tried to convince her that he'd changed but it had been his unwillingness to commit that had put the final nail in the coffin and brought about the end of them as more than friends that night.

She wanted his heart and he was still hoarding it like a greedy child unwilling to have it broken again.

Their friendship from that point had been tentative for awhile but things were finally coming around for them again and he'd thought this trip to Glen Oak was a good sign that maybe she'd loosen the boundaries a little again.

Because he needed her in his arms again, he'd spent too many sleepless nights dreaming of the feel of her next to him and the warmth and excitement that she spread through out his body when they connected.

And he missed her in other ways too. It was true you didn't realize what you'd had until you lost it.

She was a contrast in so many ways, stubborn but giving, sultry but childlike at times with her excitement at a new idea or experience, confident of whom she was but afraid of not living up to her full potential.

She had challenged him in more ways than one, she had awoken his body to new and exciting pleasures, she had stroked his soul with hers and she had given of herself so freely to him in wanton passion that no woman would ever be able to match her in his mind.

And he missed her with a depth so fathomless that only his pride kept him from sinking to the bottom. He had never told her that he needed her and now he never would. Now it would be up to her to come to him.

He'd been with no other woman since that night and when the time was right he wanted her to know that and he wanted that knowledge to bring her running back to him.

And right now he wished the timing would hurry up and be right because he wanted to drop kick the guy she was standing by right though a wall as she watched him commanding her attention.

Mac was happy to be talking to Lily; she was sweet and a welcome distraction from having to see Margaret cozy and happy with Stephen.

He still couldn't believe Margaret had invited Stephen here today. It seemed to verge on the line of insensitive knowing that he would be at the barbeque too.

There'd be no reason to believe he wouldn't be as it was public knowledge that he had been staying in the Camden's garage apartment since the night on the Promenade where he'd made a complete ass of himself in front of everyone.

Mac knew through Martin and Ruthie that things with Margaret and Stephen had been progressing in his absence from the apartment and it ate at him and it had completely shocked him when she had walked casually into the backyard with her hand and Stephen's clasped firmly together in a gesture of comfortable familiarity.

They were more than just progressing in their relationship, they were a couple now and it put a sour taste in Mac's mouth…the remnants of the bitter pill of reality he was now being forced to swallow.

He was free to date whoever he wanted now and now all he wanted was Margaret.

He needed something or someone to move him past this feeling of impending loneliness and for a split second he thought…maybe Lily could be that person.

He was after all moving to San Diego to share an apartment with Martin a decision not made lightly as he realized he was lost in Glen Oak and would be even more so when Martin and Ruthie left to go back to school. Margaret had been his anchor and without her he was drifting aimlessly.

"It will be great having you in San Diego Mac." Lily said honestly.

"Thanks…we should hang out together sometime." Mac said suggestively turning on the charm.

Lily knew Mac was trying to hit on her and under different circumstances she might have taken him up on it he was after all very cute and had a really disarming smile but she knew from talking to him that he was nursing a newly broken heart and to be honest so was she.

Sure she'd been the one to cut Wes loose but it didn't mean she was happy about it.

For a brief fleeting moment as she caught Wes looking at her and Mac she thought maybe Mac would be a good distraction to help her get over him.

Two failed relationships in such a short span of time did nothing but bruise a girls ego…she liked that Mac was doing his best to stroke hers with his compliments and lusting gazes.

As if Martin could read their minds he hurried over to pull Mac aside.

"It's good to see you Lily." He said acknowledging her with a hug before turning to Mac. "I need to speak to you for a second over here."

"I was kind of in a conversation with Lily…"Mac starting but was quickly cut off as Martin grabbed onto this arm.

"Now." Martin said simply as he pulled him forcefully away.

When they reached the corner of the yard Martin turned on Mac.

"You cannot go out with Lily." Martin said getting right to the point.

"Why not...I think she actually finds me kind of irresistible." Mac volunteered.

"See that guy standing over there in the corner sending you evil looks?" Martin said motioning to Wes.

Mac turned to look and realized for the first time some guy was staring holes through him.

"Yeah what about him?" Mac asked curious now as he gave Wes a wave of acknowledgement.

Awkwardly Wes turned around to make sure Mac was waving at him before returning a stunted wave thinking to him self…"that guy is weird."

Martin pulled down Mac's hand trying to get him to focus again.

"Mac over here…listen up. He likes Lily….in fact he's very into Lily if you know what I mean.

"No. What do you mean?" Mac said totally clueless to Martin's hidden meanings.

Sometimes Mac could be a little dim Martin realized as he prepared to clue him in.

"They are sleeping together." Martin informed his friend reluctantly hoping this would make him back off.

"Oh…lucky guy." Mac said more to himself than Martin.

"So you understand then?" Martin inquired hopefully.

"Understand what? " Mac said as if the previous conversation hadn't just happened.

"She's not available Mac, she's off limits." Martin said trying his best to divert a disaster but knowing that advice never overrode desire for Mac.

It was obvious that Mac never learned his lesson and making mistakes was a way of life for him rather than an occasional experience.

Sure now that Martin was speaking to the blonde dope on his behalf Wes seized the opportunity to go stand beside Lily.

It amused Lily to see how fast Wes reacted to her finally being alone.

"I brought you a drink." Wes said handing Lily a glass of strawberry lemonade.

"Thank you. That was really sweet of you." She said taking her first sip and enjoying the sweet, tart flavor as it cascaded down her throat.

Wes didn't understand how Lily could make the simple act of taking a sip of lemonade look so sensual causing his stomach to fill up with knotted ropes of tension.

"I uh…saw you making friends earlier." Wes began but Lily stopped him right there.

"I knew Mac already…from when he came up to visit Martin." Lily said giving him the information he sought never one being comfortable playing games with a guys head.

"Okay" Was all Wes could think of to say his fully prepared speech now sounding petty and stupid and full of jealousy.

"Was there something else?" Lily asked sensing him holding something back.

It wasn't supposed to be this awkward between them. Minutes ago she been laughing and practically crying tears of amusement with that guy Mac now she was uncomfortable and couldn't even find a way to hold a conversation.

He was miserable she could read it in his eyes but she was miserable too. It wasn't fair Wes had been her friend, her confident and the most soulful lover she'd ever had but now beyond all reasoning she couldn't reach him.

'I'm going to go get another drink." He said not offering or asking if she needed another one and she knew full well why, he didn't plan on coming back because he had so much to say to her but no courage with which to do so.

With the backyard so alive with people and conversations Martin had decided to seize some alone time with Ruthie. It had been a long night and things didn't look to be winding down anytime soon which wouldn't have been a problem except that his desire for her had only grown stronger as the minutes and hours had ticked by.

Watching her interacting with people while wanting her with every fiber of his being had implanted an ache inside him to have her near him to hold her, caress her and kiss her senseless.

"Where are we going?" Ruthie whispered conspiratorially as she willing following his lead out of the party.

"To the garage apartment." He stated pulling her along with him.

"That's kind of Mac's place right now." Ruthie reminded him.

"He won't mind." Martin promised pulling her closer to him.

He was ready to ravish her as much as he could in these stolen moments while keeping in mind where they were presently at.

As they hit the bottom step he immediately and possessively brought his lips down over hers while sweeping her off her feet and into his strong arms.

It was like a warming fire through her body as he lips glided seductively over hers bringing her blood rushing to the surface and her nerves to a jangled edge.

It was moments like these she looked forward to and lusted after, moments like this that she hated having interrupted, but shock was too strong a factor to not instantly dampen the passion between them as Martin finally reached the top step and stumbled at the sight he saw before him.

Placing Ruthie on her feet a mask of anger came over his face.

"What's going on here?" Martin asked already knowing the answer.

They had tried their best to make it appear simple and friendly as they had heard Martin and Ruthie's slow ascent up the stairs but it was hard to hide the fact that her lips were swollen from Mac's demanding and passionate kisses and that her clothing was altered from his insistent hands seeking out and exploring the curves of her body.

Lily felt like a fool. Her disappointment at what she viewed as Wes' weakness had weakened her defenses against Mac's charm and obvious interest in her but it was Martin's anger that now made her feel like a small child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

Martin didn't know who he was angrier with Mac or Lily.

Mac he could almost understand he was stupid to a fault sometimes and often did things without thought or reasoning behind them…but Lily…Lily was smarter than this.

Which was why it was she he now stood in confrontation with in the garage apartment Ruthie having taken Mac away at Martin's insistence.

"I think you know what I'm going to say." Martin started.

"And I think you know what I'm going to say" Lily interrupted. "You are not my boyfriend so you don't get to judge me or reprimand me."

" No judgment just curious if you are planning on sleeping with all my friends." Martin said hurtfully.

"If I do it's none of your business." Lily shot back hurt by Martin's impression of her.

"You see you're wrong there because Wes is my friend and Mac is my friend and as much as you try my patience you are my friend and if you keep this up all three of you are going to get hurt." Martin said trying to advise now without judging."

"I wasn't going to sleep with him." Lily said feeling defeated by her own stupidity.

"But do you like him?" Martin asked curious.

"I could…maybe…under different circumstances." Lily admitted.

'So then what was this about?" Martin said motioning to her and the messed up bed.

"I don't know…he made me feel good about myself today." Lily said a little embarrassed.

"And what about Wes…I was under the impression that things between you two were good" Martin answered.

"Wes doesn't want me for anything other than sex." Lily said flatly the emotion all but drained from her.

Martin hadn't intended to open back up to Lily but he still cared about her, he had shared too much of his life with her not to and he hated to see her struggle so with repairing her life.

"I know things have been unsettled between us Lily and I probably have no right to even try and help here but I have to wonder if well…maybe you aren't jumping into things a little too soon?" Martin said tentatively afraid of the fallout.

He had expected Lily to answer him with a rant fueled by pride which was why her freely flowing tears threw him and instinctively had him drawing her into his arms.

"I just want my life back the way it was…I loved being in love with you and knowing that my life was safe in your arms."

"Lily…" Martin said as he began distancing him self to look at her but she reached a finger up to his lips to silence him.

"You don't have to worry… I'm in love with the Martin that loved me…not you…you're not that Martin…my Martin doesn't exist anymore." Lily admitted closing that part of her heart off in that moment with the realization.

She pulled Martin close to her again wanting for one last time to feel his strength ebbing into her and lightly she kissed him…a final good by kiss for closure.

They both knew it was innocent and meant nothing other than what it had been intended for but to the outside observer who had no knowledge of how it had come to conception it held a whole different interpretation.

Crushed by what he had just witnessed Wes went silently back down the stairs. He had entered the garage apartment his heart in his hands ready to try but he was leaving it with it harden just like his resolve to never fall in love again.

"Did you find her" Ruthie asked as she saw Wes coming back from the direction of the garage her next sentence silenced by the crestfallen look on his face.

" I found her." Wes stated broken.

Ruthie had run into Wes earlier as he was looking for Lily and her instinct to help had kicked in as she had talked him into opening up before he had even realized he was doing it.

With the realization that he was crazy about Lily and his admission on what was holding him back Ruthie had steered him toward the light and how the consequences of letting someone go could backfire on you using Mac and Margaret's story as a prime example.

He'd been reluctant at first but one look at Mac watching Margaret with some guy as they kissed and cuddle and he knew Ruthie was right if he let Lily go now feeling the way he did he would regret it.

It was time to grow up and move on from Olivia.

It hit him like a ton of bricks that it wasn't only time to move forward but he was ready for it. Giving Ruthie a smile full of thanks and a hug of appreciation he knew he was ready to find Lily.

It was then and only then that Ruthie had steered him in the right direction towards the garage apartment.

Now as he stood there looking shocked and hurt she couldn't help but wonder if that had been the right thing to do.

"So what did she say?" Ruthie asked worried she had turned him down.

Wes didn't want to hurt Ruthie because he knew she had only been trying to help but sooner or later he knew she would have to face some harsh truths.

"Nothing. She didn't even see me…she was too busy." Wes said sad to have to break Ruthie's heart too.

"Too busy doing what?" Ruthie asked concerned.

"Kissing Martin." Wes confessed feeling bad for Ruthie as well as himself.

Trusting Martin Ruthie knew there had to be a logical explanation, but it still stung particularly as she and Wes spotted Martin and Lily at the same time strolling casually towards them like they hadn't a care in the world.

Unaware of what Wes had witnessed Martin gave Lily a kiss on the cheek as he parted from her to head back to Ruthie and without thinking Wes reacted.

Charging up to Martin he angrily spat words of disgust at him. "You're a bastard Brewer!"

"Martin stood too stunned by Wes' outburst to react to it or the punch that followed it.

Ruthie gasped as Wes sent a solid blow to Martin's jaw sending him forcefully backwards but not to the ground.

"What the…?" Martin said holding his tongue from the swear word he really wanted to use.

"Some friend you turned out to be!" Wes said storming out of the Camden's yard as Lily stood in shock at what had just transpired.

"I should probably go after him." Lily stated when she finally recovered her senses.

As Ruthie looked at Martin's tender jaw she turned to Lily. I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"He's not mad at Martin he's mad at me." Lily stating knowing without having to be told that she spoke the truth in that moment.

Yeah he's not the only one thought Ruthie knowing full well that if any kissing had happened, which she'd yet to confirm, it hadn't been Martin who instigated it.

Ruthie felt sorry for Wes he'd have his hands full with Lily because clearly between kissing Martin and fooling around with Mac today, Ruthie was pretty sure Lily had no idea what she really wanted.


	23. Chapter 23

Title: "You're Better Off."

Author : Juana

It had been almost two weeks since Wes had slugged Martin and he knew now that he owed him a huge apology, but it had also been two weeks of hell for him, a hell that had just recently righted itself, so he silently forgave himself for not making getting back into Martin's good graces a priority.

He knew in less than twenty-four hours Martin and Ruthie would be back in San Diego and he vowed to make things right between him and Martin then.

His main focus had been Lily and all that had gone down between them after that day in Glen Oak. It seemed so far away now but even still he couldn't help reliving it.

After bolting from the Camden's yard he had gone and sat angrily in her car, realizing that for the moment he was at Lily's mercy since she had driven him to Glen Oak.

He didn't want to talk to her, he didn't want to hear her lame explanations or her offers of "I'm sorry", he just wanted her to go away and leave him alone.

But Lily was a persistent and it had taken her very little time to figure out where he had taken off to, even though he sat in the back seat of her car in hopes the tinted windows would hide him for at least a little while.

But as the back door of the car was unceremoniously opened he realized that was a fruitless thought.

"Care to tell me what that was all about?" Lily said as she stood in the open door with her hands on her hips in a defiant stance.

A million comebacks shot through his mind, all of them hurtful but the truth was in that moment he was just too exhausted by his confusing emotions to fight with her.

"I don't want to talk about it; I just want to go home."

Lily hated it when Wes shut her out like that it made her feel like their relationship was reverted back to beginning status.

A fact which had seemed painfully true on their mostly silent and definitely tension filled ride back to San Diego that night.

As Martin put the last of Ruthie's bags into his SUV he turned back to go into the house and was immediately confronted with Margaret.

"Hey Margaret what's up?" Martin said before turning his attention to the fact that she had obviously been crying. "Are you okay?"

"I need you to give this to Mac for me." She said handing him an envelope.

Martin knew that Margaret and Mac hadn't spoken since the night on the Promenade and from the looks of the letter he now held in hand no effort was going to be made to make that happen before he left for San Diego.

"Maybe you should give it to him yourself." Martin offered trying to hand the letter back to her.

"I don't think I can. Do you know he didn't even bother to tell me he was leaving Glen Oak? I had to hear it second hand." Margaret said clearly distraught by this turn of events.

A part of Martin's conscience told him to stay out of Mac and Margaret's drama, but an even bigger part told him that both Mac and Margaret would regret leaving things like this, so against his better judgment he gave her some advice.

"I can't tell you what to do Margaret, or even what Mac is thinking but I can tell you that you will probably regret not saying good bye to him in person." Martin said wisely.

Margaret didn't really have to think about it she knew Martin was right. You could write a sad, tragic song about the state of their relationship/friendship right now. Determined she took the letter back from Martin.

"Do you know where he is?" She asked looking a little braver than she was actually feeling.

"Yeah…he and Ruthie are in the garage apartment doing a last minute walk-through.

"Thank you." Margaret said heading that way now.

Inside the garage apartment Mac and Ruthie were going through cupboards and drawers making sure he hadn't left anything.

"I think that's it." Mac said shutting the final cupboard as Ruthie pulled out last two drawers.

"Looks like it." Picking up a box of stuff off the floor to carry down to Mac's car, Ruthie turned to Mac as she started down the stairs. "Are you coming?"

Mac looked at Ruthie a little sullen. "I need a minute – I'll be right there."

"Take all the time you need." Ruthie said rearranging the box for the descent down the stairs.

As soon as Ruthie left, Mac picked up the final box off the floor and sat down on the bed with it. It was a box of mementos from his relationship with Margaret and he was trying to decide if he would be keeping it or not.

Pulling out some photos he smiled, he had a way of looking natural and at ease in every picture he took and Margaret was his equal in that way, she looked happy and carefree in every photo.

He knew he had to keep those and immediately after thumbing through them had put them in the keeper pile on the bed.

No matter how much their relationship had turned to utter and complete crap, the woman in those pictures was the woman he had fallen in love with and it was the way he always wanted to remember her.

He both hated and liked her new boyfriend equally with passion and respect. He hated that he had captured Margaret's heart but he respected the way he treated it and her like they were the most regarded things in his life.

Looking back Mac knew that Margaret deserved so much more than he would have ever been able to give her. She was better off without him as much as that hurt to admit.

Coming silently up the stairs of the garage apartment Margaret stood looking at Mac's back as he went through a box of things making two piles on the bed.

Immediately she realized what he was doing, sifting through their memories and it brought tears to her eyes.

To think of their relationship being segued down into two categories of memories he would keep and ones he would rather discard ate to the very core of her soul and made her sadness even deeper.

"I plan to keep them all…" Margaret said startling Mac who quickly turned around.

"Keep all of what?" Mac said a bit mesmerized by his ex standing there unsure whether this was just another one of the very vivid daydreams he had been having regarding her lately.

"The memories – the good and the bad ones." She finished.

"Why would you want to keep the bad ones." Mac said a little surprised.

"Because they're part of the time I spent with you and regardless of how this all ended up…I treasure that time. I really do." Margaret admitted unashamed.

It wasn't like Mac still harbored any hope of working things out – he didn't, but in that moment he knew it was truly over between them and years from now he would still think of her, but he knew he would never again think he could have changed the outcome.

It was hard to realize it was never meant to be more than it had been, but he knew over time it would be okay and that he was a better man for having met and spent time with her.

He'd had a hard time admitting that he loved her back then but he was certain now that it wouldn't hurt like this if he'd been anything less than "in love" with her.

"It's really nice of you to say that but I know I could have been a better boyfriend to you." Mac admitted sadly.

Margaret knew that that was true, but she also knew he needed to understand how important he had been to her.

'I will never regret falling in love with you Mac – I just won't. I wish that we could have weathered the storm but I know now and I think you do too that we weren't meant to."

"Yeah…I do." Mac said giving her a smile meant just for her.

Margaret melted a little inside at the familiar grin that had warmed her life for so long. She really did wish things could have been different but she knew that was a path that was closed off to her now and she accepted that.

"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here." Margaret started.

"I am curious…yes." Mac said sitting back down on the bed.

"Jane told me that you were leaving Glen Oak." Margaret said swallowing over the lump that was quickly forming in her throat.

"I am. I'm going to live in San Diego with Martin. I decided it would be a good thing for me to be somewhere different." Mac finished closing the box of memories after putting the pictures back inside.

"Were you planning on telling me?" Margaret said unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

Mac wasn't sure if he had been or not.

"I guess I figured we'd already "left each other"…it seemed kind of redundant." Mac said as a form of explanation.

"This is different and you know it. You can't just move out of Glen Oak without so much as a good bye to me." Margaret stated adamantly.

He knew she was right which was why he walked purposefully up to her, taking her in his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you Mags." He said pulling her closer in a gesture of need and longing for what could have been between them if he hadn't screwed up so royally.

"I can't imagine you not being here but I hope you find her out there Mac, the girl who will give you what you need." Margaret said the tears now freely flowing.

She started to break the hug to leave but he stopped her and looked deep into her eyes wanting his message to be clear. "You tell Stephen that I said to take good care of you because if he doesn't I'm coming back for you."

They both knew that wasn't a likely scenario because Stephen truly was one of the "good ones" out there and he cared for Margaret deeply, but it helped in that moment to confess his regret at letting her go.

"I love you Mac. " Margaret said embracing him one last time before letting him go and running back down the stairs.

"I love you too Mags." Mac said to her now retreating figure.

It seemed weird to Ruthie to be headed back to San Diego with Martin to actually live there but it was her life now.

As she gazed at him sitting so confidently in the drivers seat she fell even more in love with him, he had an amazing profile, his chin so strong and virile looking.

He finally noticed her staring.

'Why are you staring at me? Do I have something on my face?" He said becoming a little self conscious.

"No…you just have a really great face, very easy on the eyes." Ruthie admitted as Martin awarded her with one of his dynamic grins at her confession.

"You're going to make me blush."

"I have a feeling your going to be one of those guys who keeps gets better and better with age." Ruthie surmised.

"Good then maybe you'll never get bored of me." Martin countered.

Ruthie could never imagine getting bored of Martin when just the sight of him had the ability to turn her insides to melted butter.

"I think boredom is the least of our worries here." Ruthie said running her fingers lightly over his tanned arm.

"Yes…I think you may be right." Martin said working harder now at the act of driving since the slight touch she had administered had begun to chip away at his ability to concentrate.

"If you can't be a good girl, I'm going to have to move you to the back seat." Martin threatened.

Ruthie just laughed realizing and loving how just touching him gave her such rush of connection with him.

Lily felt stupid waiting outside Wes' apartment complex but he wasn't returning her calls and she was at a loss as to what to do next.

She was just about to take off, the stupidity of the situation escalating in her brain when she saw him coming up the walk with a busty blond.

He was back to his old tricks and she knew she had no one to blame for it but her self.

She couldn't bring herself to drive away though and instead found herself walking defiantly up to him and the bimbo of the moment.

"Wes I need to speak to you." Lily said loudly causing both Wes and the blond girl to turn around.

"Lily…this isn't really a good time." Wes began but she cut him off.

"I'm sure the girl you're planning on "doing" later tonight can keep her pants on long enough for you to spare me a moment." Lily said determined to speak her peace.

Wes was both mortified and amused by Lily's behavior but decided he needed to set her straight before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

Um…Romy this is Lily, she's uh…well she's currently undefined at the moment and Lily this is Romy – Ruthie's roommate.

"Ruthie's roommate?" Lily said beyond embarrassed at this point.

Romy was doing her best to try and hide her amusement to try and help out the obviously mortified girl but this situation was just too priceless.

"Hi…Romy Graham." She said extending her hand for Lily to shake.

"I'm so sorry…I thought…well it doesn't actually matter what I thought now does it." Lily said trying her best not to babble but failing miserably.

Wes had promised Ruthie to house Romy until her and Martin got back into town since they were still waiting for the current tenant of their new apartment to vacate it.

"Romy if you want to go on in here's the front door key I'll be there in just a few minutes." Wes said handing her his door key.

"Sure." Romy said taking the key and heading off.

As soon as she was out of earshot Lily turned to Wes.

"I'm so embarrassed."

"You should be." Wes said chastising her. "So why are you here…other than to make a fool of yourself I mean."

"I want to talk to you." Lily stated hoping he would be receptive.

" I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't want to talk to you." Wes reminded her harshly.

"How are we supposed to work this out if you keep shutting me out?" Lily said questioning what her next move should be.

" We aren't…it doesn't matter anymore Lily. All I wanted was for you to have a little patience with me, so I could figure out where my feelings were at, but you couldn't do that. " Wes said in reminder.

" I was waiting…until I realized what a fool you were making of me."

" I wasn't making a fool of you." Wes said.

"Yes, you were. I thought we were building something special but you had no intention of ever letting me in." Lily said on the verge of tears now.

Wes hated seeing Lily unhappy but he was still upset with her. He had gone to the Camden's garage apartment to give her his heart that day and instead had left even more down trodden than when Olivia had left him.

He knew now that nothing had happened with her and Martin and had felt nothing but relief in finding that out, but then he had been hit with the bigger bombshell regarding that Mac guy and he had shut down.

Lily thought back now to the horrible fight she and Wes had had on their return to Glen Oak that fateful day after the Camden's barbeque.

Wes had been livid at her for what he believed to have happened with Martin and she had wasted no time in setting him straight.

"I did not 'hook up" with Martin! That's just ridiculous – Martin is my past." Lily practically screamed at Wes.

Standing at his bed room door ready to slam it in her face Wes instantly stopped mid motion at her confession.

"You didn't?" But I saw you two kissing." Wes said trying desperately to work it out in his mind.

"It was just a good-bye kiss. Martin and I never really did that before, it was all about angry words and confrontations. He let go a long time ago…I still needed to…so I did."

"You're not still in love with Martin?" Wes said coming closer to her now, close enough to reach out and touch her if he chose to.

"I will always love Martin, but he's my friend now and nothing more. I promise you." Lily confessed happy to clear the air.

'I can't believe I hit him." Wes admitted more than a little embarrassed now.

"I'm sure he's fine." Lily said trying to smooth the situation over.

"I told Ruthie he was cheating on her, if he doesn't hate me for the punch; he's going to hate me for that." Wes surmised.

"Why would you do that?" Lily asked surprised.

"Because, and this is something you will learn about me if you stick around, I'm a bastard when people hurt me – I tend to strike back. " Wes admitted.

"If I stick around, does that mean you want me to?" Lily asked hopefully.

Standing across from her Wes knew that without a doubt he did. He wasn't sure how or when it had happened but the realization was there now that Lily had become very important to him.

Without any fanfare or warning Wes encircled Lily with his arms and kissed her lightly on the lips. A kiss that sent electric shivers down her spine.

"I would like very much if you "stuck around." Wes whispered ever so gently into her ear before beginning to nibble on her ear lobe.

The love making that had followed that confession had been amazing and fortifying to their souls.

But the light of day brought new nagging questions to Wes' mind and in hindsight he wished he had left well enough alone.

Moving around the kitchen as he prepared breakfast for him and Lily his mind had started to wander and he began to remember how distraught Lily had been on the way home from Glen Oak.

The ride home had been riddled with a constant stream of apologies and "I'm sorry."

Now knowing that nothing had happened with Martin he couldn't help but wonder what she was sorry for because clearly she had felt guilty on the ride home.

Taking the fully prepared breakfast into the room he found Lily sitting on the bed having borrowed one of his t-shirts.

She looked so damn good he forgot about the thoughts he had had but moments earlier in the kitchen as he set the tray in front of her.

"You made me breakfast." Lily said pleasantly surprised.

"I did." Wes said leaning across the tray to give her a morning kiss.

"Thank you. It looks great." Lily stated.

"You're welcome. It's a perk of sticking around." Wes teased.

Lily smiled she loved it when Wes was playful.

"Aren't you going to eat too?" Lily said noticing for the first time there was only one tray.

"It's still in the kitchen. I'll be right back." Wes said getting up off the bed and heading for the kitchen.

As he passed the kitchen table a phone began to ring and he looked over to see Lily's cell phone sitting there.

Without thinking he picked it up intending to take it to her in the bedroom. Looking involuntarily at the screen he noticed she was receiving a text message.

He would wonder later what it was that possessed him in that moment to press the button allowing him to read it, it was after all none of his business and there wouldn't be a moment later that he wouldn't wish that he hadn't as the not so subtle message came up on the screen.

"_I think we should talk about what happened between us at the barbeque. Please call me" Mac_

He had taken the phone to Lily then and unable to stop himself had uttered the fateful sentence that had put them back at odds.

"I can't believe I trusted you." Wes said the growing anger evident in his voice as he tried to keep it in check.

It had taken a moment for Lily to process what was happening; it was hard to reconcile this Wes with the one that had left the bedroom happy less than ten minutes ago.

But one look at the message on her phone filled in all the blanks for her.

"Wes…" Lily began but he cut her off his temper now not willing to listen to her excuses.

"I want you to get dressed and get out!" he vented painfully.

"Please just let me explain. It's not what you think." Lily said trying to continue.

He wanted her gone erased from his life, but he also wanted answers. It was a rock and a hard place.

"Did you sleep with him?" Wes asked remembering how long he had searched for her at the barbeque unable to find her.

"No. I didn't." Lily stated.

But Wes knew that was a cover confession if nothing else.

"I'm such an idiot. Of course you didn't – because Martin stopped you." Wes said putting two and two together as to how Martin and Lily had ended up together in that garage apartment.

Lily knew that Wes was dead on, the possibility of sleeping with Mac had definitely existed that day but it still hurt to know he believed her to be capable of giving it up so freely.

"You think you've got me all figured out, well you don't." Lily stated her anger beginning to show.

'That's hilarious. I don't think I could figure you out if I had ten lifetimes to do it in. The problem isn't me Lily…it's you. You have no idea what you want." Wes said wanting her to feel as crappy as he did now.

"I can't believe you're going to judge me for being with someone when you've slept with enough women to form a small nation since Olivia left you." Lily shot back.

"So you were with him." Wes said ignoring her dig at his past.

"That is so not the point here." Lily said crying foul.

"That's exactly the point, you're so concerned with "all my women", but not one of those women, with the exception of when you shut me out and I made one slip up, was before you." Wes finally admitted.

'What?" Lily said clearly shocked by his confession.

"You see you thought you had me all figured out, but you didn't. My priorities were no different than yours to love and be loved again." Wes confessed.

"I never cheated on you Lily, and when you left and I tried to move on I couldn't. I didn't want that life anymore…I just wanted you."

Lily knew the confession Wes made now was bittersweet because she had changed everything by being with Mac when Wes thought she was his still.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Lily asked hoping it was because he wanted to work things out.

"Because I want you to know what you gave up by being with him so you can decide for yourself if it was really worth it." Wes said spitefully.

"If we had been in a committed relationship this would not have happened. " Lily reminded him.

"So this is my fault?" Wes said his shock evident.

"Yes. You were obviously holding me to the standards of a girlfriend but you were not clueing me into my status. You can't hold it against me for acting single when you kept telling me you weren't ready for a relationship. It's not fair." Lily informed him.

Wes knew she was right but it just killed him to think of her with that doofus while he was just yards away looking all over for her like a love sick puppy dog.

"I think you should go." Wes stated before heading out of the bedroom and closing the door on her and their tentative relationship.

It was a relationship that it was apparent had still not healed as they stood in a face off in the courtyard of his apartment complex.

" I should go – I have company." Wes said a little sad at the thought that everything he wanted was right in front of him and he was too proud to let go of his hurt.

It was a last ditch effort on her part and she knew it but she needed to say it and for him to hear it.

"I never would have gone with Mac if I'd known how you felt." Can't you please just give me another chance to show you how important being with you is to me?" Lily said not above pleading at this point.

Wes knew he needed to shoulder some of the blame here for all that had happened but he wasn't sure his heart could take falling for someone again with the very real possibility of losing her.

He knew Lily wanted to be ready for a relationship, he just wasn't one-hundred percent convinced that she was.

Not to mention the issue of trust. With Mac moving to San Diego too would he be able to trust Lily really knew what she wanted?

Even more important would he be a fool for letting her go again, knowing that Mac would be close and was more than interested in her.

He knew only time would tell as he took her into his arms and began kissing her letting her once again back into his heart and his life.


	24. Chapter 24

Title: "Circle of Mistakes"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they belong to the CW Network and the show 7th heaven.

Everything was coming together so beautifully in Ruthie's life that she couldn't help but think she was living in a dream.

Her last few weeks at Glen Oak with Martin had been nothing short of fantastic as she had finally gotten to live the fantasy she'd had all through high school of being his girlfriend.

It had been a rough first month as they had severed their romantic ties with Lily and Ian respectively but they had made it over that hump and had begun the process of moving on with their own lives.

And now as she sat comfortably on the couch in her new apartment she couldn't help but thank God for all that he had allowed her life to become.

She had an amazing boyfriend, new good friends, a nice apartment and a roommate that she adored and best of all she was living away from home.

She loved Glen Oak, but something about having your own place could really make you feel grown up.

Right now that summed up Ruthie's life in a nut shell, she felt so grown up and ready to tackle anything.

Pulling her streaked blond back into a pony tail Romy exited her bedroom to see Ruthie sitting on the couch in an obvious state of day dream.

"What's up roomie?" She said as she plopped down on the couch beside her.

Ruthie was immediately jolted back to the present by her friends reckless entrance.

"I was just realizing that my life is pretty great right now." Ruthie admitted honestly.

Wasn't that the truth thought Romy, Ruthie definitely had it all right now and it wasn't that she was jealous, okay well maybe a little jealous…but there wasn't a girl out there who wouldn't want to be as happy as Ruthie was right now.

Romy and Ruthie had known each other since junior high school both of them born and raised in Glen Oak.

But right before starting high school Romy had gotten into a huge fight with her mother and had left to go live with her dad it was for that very reason that she had missed Martin's grand entrance into the Camden's life.

But he had been all Ruthie talked about in letters and phone calls, but back then the outcome had seemed so bleak and unpromising, more fantasy fodder than any thing else.

Now it was Ruthie's reality, not only was she now dating Martin, but he loved her and it was so obvious how perfect they were for each other.

Romy was happy for her friend and she didn't want anything to burst the bubble of contentment that she was living in right now, but she knew sooner or later Martin would have to tell Ruthie the truth about how they had truly met and that Ruthie's fairy tale world come very possibly come crashing down with that confession.

Nothing could have been a bigger surprise to Martin than running into Ruthie's roommate to be.

He had been bringing their luggage in from the car when she had come dashing down the stairs at full speed almost knocking him over.

As he had bent down to pick up the bags she had begun profusely apologizing and he had looked up to tell her it was cool and had instantly been silenced.

He knew by the look on her face that she had recognized him too or at least recognized who she thought him to be.

"Craig?" Romy said a little bewildered to see him standing there right in front of her after such a long time.

Martin knew he could have set her straight right then and there and probably should have but his shock kept him silent.

"I'd say it's good to see you…but it's really not." Romy said not trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"I should explain…" Martin began but Romy quickly cut him off.

"No need. I'm a big girl and I know when you give someone a bogus number it's because you really had no interest in them. I will tell you though…it's your loss." Romy said tossing back her hair and continuing on her descent down the stairs without looking back.

Shell shocked Martin had turned around to watch her leave wondering if she lived here and how often he would have to run into her. He hoped never again as his embarrassment mixed with his guilt over the past mistake he had made in his life that was now coming back in a full karmic circle to haunt him.

Ruthie could tell something was on Martin's mind as he entered the apartment and set the luggage down.

"Everything okay?" She said as she got up off the couch and went instantly into his arms.

Looking into Ruthie's eyes Martin saw nothing but trust and faith shining in them and he toyed with the idea of just coming clean but he convinced himself that he had no reason to…it was a random run in and it would never happen again.

Instead he pulled her closer and began kissing her in an effort to wipe away any and all residual guilt he might have felt earlier.

"I can't believe you're actually here to stay." Martin said as he hugged her to his chest.

"Best decision I ever made." Ruthie admitted as she snuggled closer enjoying the feel of his toned body under her hands.

"I would have to agree." Martin said as took her hand and led her toward the bedroom.

Ruthie willingly followed him as he led her toward the bed and sat down while she remained standing between his legs.

As he held on to her hands he looked up at her.

"You know we have a lot to talk about with this new situation." Martin told her.

"Like what?" Ruthie said as she released one of his hands to lovingly caress the side of his face.

The contact was like a soft wind to Martin and he involuntarily sighed.

"Like that." Martin said not wanting her to stop her exploration of his face.

"You don't like this?" Ruthie said teasing him.

"No. I love it; it's just that it makes me want to do this. "Martin said as he took his free arm and put it around her waist pulling her down onto the bed with him.

He hesitated to kiss her knowing that time only built the physical tension between them making the actual connection of lips when it happened charged with sparks.

But feeling that familiar ache begin to build inside him he could take it no longer and began to kiss her passionately and with abandon.

He craved the feel of her body underneath his hands, the layer of clothing between him and skin making him a lot more daring knowing there was still a barrier of protection between them and crossing those forbidden lines.

Every nerve in Ruthie's body came alive at Martin's touch and she let out a loan throaty moan as his hands molded to her curves alternately slipping in between clothing to tease and taunt her with the two different sensations.

"Oh…what I want to do to you preacher's daughter." Martin said just above a whisper into Ruthie's ear causing her to shudder with the excitement of that prospect.

It struck Ruthie out of the blue as she began to work the zipper down on Martin's jacket that there was no one here to stop them and unwillingly logic took over as she gently pushed him away, instead of pulling him closer.

"What is it?" Martin asked surprised by her sudden retreat.

"I'm saying no this time." Ruthie said reluctantly sitting up.

Martin was more than a little surprised, he had had no intention of letting things get out of hand but she hadn't known that and he could not have been prouder of her than in that moment.

Disappointed…absolutely, but he could deal with that if it meant he wouldn't always be the one having to pull back.

"I'm sorry." Ruthie began but Martin put a finger to her lips silencing her.

"Don't be. We have the rest of our lives to make this happen." He said giving her a grin.

Ruthie thought back to all the times Ian had stomped off at this point, angry and annoyed with her.

"You're amazing Martin." Ruthie said sincerely as she moved closer to him to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"And you are still very appealing to me, so I say we exit to safer territory." Martin said taking her hand and pulling her off the bed.

Much to Romy's dismay Wes had brought that girl Lily back to the apartment with him which immediately caused her to discard any thoughts of hooking up with him.

But even worse than that had been the run in with that Craig guy, now him she would still like to hook up with and finish what they had started so long ago.

She wondered to herself if he lived here or had just been visiting friends.

She realized there was a lot she would have to fill Ruthie in on about who she had become in their time apart.

Romy had left Glen Oak sweet and innocent just like Ruthie but San Diego had changed her or more importantly Derek had.

She'd met Derek in her senior year of high school and had immediately starting dating him thinking she was old enough to handle a college boy.

That had been her biggest mistake. College boys didn't want virginal school girls and by the time she had realized that it had been too late, she was head over heels for him and thinking that it was the only way to keep him had thrown all her beliefs out the window and just done it.

The sex had been disappointing to say the least but the bigger heartbreak had come days later when his friend Matt had come on to her at a party and she had told Derek but instead of him getting mad at Matt, he had blown her off telling her that it didn't matter he was through with her anyway.

Devastated by his callous attitude she had vowed to get even with him and had gone to Matt and slept with him knowing it would get back to Derek.

It was a plan that had severely back-fired as he really hadn't cared about her and instead had labeled her a whore and a slut, to anyone who showed an interest in her after that.

From there it had been a downward spiral of guys who heard she was easy and had taken her up on it.

Ruthie didn't know any of this and frankly Romy was a little embarrassed to tell her but she'd known filling her in was the only way she could commiserate over running into Craig, who she now believed probably wasn't really named Craig, but that was a whole other issue.

Martin watched Ruthie as she went about helping him pack things for the move to his new place, a part of him wished it was Ruthie he was moving in with instead of Mac but he knew that would all come in good time.

Deciding it was finally time to take a break Ruthie sat down on the couch.

"We should probably think about getting ready to head over to Wes'. I can't wait for you to meet Romy, she's really great." Ruthie said throwing her hair carelessly into a messy knot.

Martin wasn't totally happy with having to see Wes' again, they really hadn't talked since Wes had hit him but Wes was the one Ruthie had roped into babysitting her future roommate so he knew he really had no choice since they were expected over for dinner so everyone could get to know one another.

It went without saying that it was going to be crowded in Martin's place until the end of the week when Ruthie and Romy could finally move into their new apartment.

Until then it would be close living quarters for Martin, Ruthie, Mac and Romy.

And almost as if on cue with that thought the doorbell rang and Ruthie jumped up to open it.

As Ruthie opened the door she was met with Mac and his devilish grin.

"Miss me?" Mac said as he ushered himself and his luggage into the apartment.

"What took you so long?" Martin asked curious how he and Ruthie had managed to arrive there a good hour and a half ahead of Mac.

"I stopped at a little deli to grab a sandwich and I met a girl." Mac said grinning from ear to ear.

"You stopped to pick up a girl?" Ruthie said bewildered by his behavior.

"Yep. Her name is Lola and she is an aspiring actress. She's going to be in San Diego next week and we're going to go out." Mac said proud to show he had game.

"You are pathetic Mac." Martin said closing the apartment door behind him.

"I'm free, single...available and I got a hottie's number – I'd say the last thing I am is pathetic.

Martin and Ruthie couldn't help but grin at Mac's enthusiasm.

"Fine…you're a God." Ruthie said. "But you're also late, so hurry up and clean up so we can go to Wes'."

Excited to see her friend Ruthie was disappointed to find that she and Lily were out at the grocery store picking up some things for Wes when they arrived.

Knowing this lull in time was a good time for an apology Wes followed Martin out onto the terrace where Ruthie quickly excused herself.

"This is kind of awkward but here goes…I owe you a major apology – Lily filled me in on what actually happened." Wes told Martin.

"All of it?" Martin inquired not wanting to rat Lily out by realizing at the same time it could be awkward for Mac if Wes knew the whole truth.

"Yes and its fine. Lily and I…we'll were together now and whatever happened with her and Mac, it happened when we weren't." Wes said truthfully.

"Good." Martin said.

"My main concern is that you and I are okay. I really am sorry for the punch and for telling Ruthie about the kiss while we're at it." Wes said his moments of idiocy spewing out of him for forgiveness now.

"We're fine. Ruthie knew I wouldn't cheat on her and as for the punch…we'll don't do it again or I might have to hit you back next time." Martin promised.

"Deal." Wes said happy to finally have the apology out of the way.

Coming back inside the apartment Wes saw that Lily was back and went immediately up to her giving her a kiss on the lips.

Martin joined Ruthie who whispered to him "I guess they worked things out."

"Looks like it." Martin said as he put his arm around Ruthie's shoulder.

It was an apartment full of happy people, no one angry or depressed and no misunderstandings clouding the air. It seemed like it would be the perfect night.

But fate has a funny way of dealing blows when you least expect them and tonight was no exception as the door to the apartment came open and Romy walked into the crowd of people the smile on her face dying as soon as she spotted him…Craig.

Unaware what was going on Ruthie ran quickly up to her friend and gave her a welcoming hug before turning back around to introduce her.

'Romy this is Mac." Ruthie said bringing her to stand in front of her friend.

Mac gave her his most charming smile which normally would have garnered her attention if Ruthie hadn't spoken the next sentence.

"And this is my boyfriend Martin." She said locking her arm with his in a gesture of their couple status.

"Martin?" Romy said unable to hide her shock.

Martin felt the walls closing in around him, he'd had a moment, an opportunity where he could have and now he realized should have told Ruthie the truth and he hadn't and now he was at her mercy.

Her being –" Party girl", his one remaining mistake. He hadn't even asked her what her name was back then and he had given her a fake one to make his one night with her something he would never have to regret or think about again.

He'd been angry and undecided back then about his spiritual commitment, feeling that God had let him down by taking Ruthie out of his life.

He'd wanted to break all the rules and be someone who didn't care which was how he had ended up at the same party as her. She'd told him she was twenty-two, which obviously was a lie, but he'd been swimming in them that night so he had no recourse to berate her for a little white one.

He hadn't slept with her but he'd taken it far enough that he'd felt more than a little guilty for giving her a fake number as well.

She'd been a turning point for him as he'd arrived home that night and decided that he was on the wrong path, but the damage was still done and even though he'd asked profusely in prayer for forgiveness that night he realized now that repenting from sin didn't necessarily mean you wouldn't have to suffer for it.

Even though Ruthie could sense that something was off she never would have in a million years guessed what it was as Martin and Romy remained in a standstill neither really saying anything.

Finally Romy broke the silence and made her position clear.

"I'm sorry for staring, it's just that you look so much like this guy I knew, but of course his name was Craig and he was kind of a jerk, so it's probably pretty insulting for me to say that." Romy said getting her dig in.

Martin didn't say anything choosing instead to remain silent. He knew he had a long night ahead of him and he knew the control of it was completely out of his hands.

Romy didn't even know what she was supposed to do now. It was one thing when Craig, scratch that Martin, she knew the bastard had given her a bogus name, was just a guy she had hooked up with one random night at a party, but to find out he was Ruthie's boyfriend, that was a whole different ball game.

And she could tell that he was nervous which just meant that Ruthie was clueless about that night, which if she thought about it suited her just fine.

The last thing she wanted was tension between her and Ruthie and there definitely would be some if she knew how close Romy had been with her boyfriend – even if it was before her.

For the time being Martin's secret was safe with her besides she had better things to do if she was reading Mac's signals correctly.

He was definitely cute and she was definitely interested.

Martin remembered breathing a sigh of relief when that night had been over and no confrontations had happened, but even now he knew that surviving one night didn't mean side-stepping the entire land mind.

And the longer he waited to come clean the worse things were going to get because now a week and a half later even though the girls were out of his and Mac's place and into their own, the secret had new victims because Mac was more than a little interested in Romy.

Unable to turn to his best friend to sort out this problem he turned to the only other person he knew he could trust with this and it was her he sat nervously waiting for at a back booth of the Urth café.

Lily had been more than surprised to get Martin's phone message asking her to meet him for lunch at Urth, but she had nothing but friendly feelings towards him now so she willingly went.

If he needed her help with something she knew she could be there for him now and found interestingly enough that she wanted to.

As she sat down at the booth across from him she could tell by the look on his face that what ever was troubling him – well it was big.

But even she could never have imagined how big.


	25. Chapter 25

Title: "Suffer in Silence"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW network and the show 7th Heaven.

Sitting in Café Urth with Martin ,Lily wasn't sure she was qualified to give any advice, but she knew that Martin needed answers and that was why he had entrusted her with his secret.

"Wow…that's really not good." Lily said after listening to Martin's confession regarding Romy.

"And Ruthie really has no idea?"

Martin knew instinctively that he could trust Lily and so he held nothing back.

"She has no clue." Martin admitted.

At first he had felt a little uncomfortable talking to Lily regarding Ruthie and his relationship with her, but Lily, as usual, had done her best to make him feel safe in sharing with her, so he had.

"What about Romy, have you talked to her about this situation?" Lily inquired.

"No. I wasn't sure I should." Martin confessed.

Lily knew Martin too well sometimes.

"Really…are you sure you're not just avoiding it hoping the issue will go away?" Lily questioned point blank.

"I'm not avoiding it; I'm just not sure how to deal with it." Martin countered a little annoyed now.

"If you get defensive, I can't help you." Lily informed him.

"You think you can help me?" Martin said grasping at the proverbial straw.

"I can only tell you what I think, if that helps you…then great." Lily offered smiling in an effort to comfort him.

"I'm in pretty deep aren't I?" Martin said a wounded look crossing his face.

Lily couldn't lie to people, it just wasn't in her nature but if she ever wanted the ability to be able to lie…it was now.

"I don't really know Martin, because Ruthie and I…well we're not exactly friends and I have no idea how she would react to this kind of news." Lily admitted.

"How would you have reacted?" Martin said needing a girl's perspective on this.

Lily thought maybe that was the answer here, putting herself in Ruthie's place, although she had to admit that Ruthie seemed a lot more level headed than her.

"You mean if I found out you had messed around with one of my friends before you and I got together?" Lily said her gut sinking at the thought.

"Sure…yes." Martin said approving the scenario.

"You didn't – did you?" Lily said a little paranoid that this was Martin's way of confessing something to her.

"Okay…no of course not." Martin said the shocked tone in his voice unmistakable.

"Right…sorry." Lily said relieved.

"Judging from your reaction – you would not have taken it well." Martin admitted reluctantly.

"No…I guess I wouldn't have, but I am not Ruthie she might take it better than you think." Lily offered.

"Or she could dump me." Martin said finishing Lily's unspoken thoughts.

"Or she could dump you." Lily said parroting Martin.

"So what do I do Lil? I don't want to lose her." Martin admitted.

Lily knew Martin was just trying to be honest with her but it still stung a little to hear how invested he was in Ruthie, the girl who had ruined them.

"My advice would be to talk to Romy, see where she stands. She might not want Ruthie to ever know this little secret either. "Lily said highlighting the obvious.

Martin clung to that thought for a moment before letting the doubt cloud his mind again.

"Is it good to keep secrets from someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with?" Martin pondered aloud to his ex.

'I guess it depends on who would benefit from knowing the truth." Lily said wisely.

"If it's just to ease your guilty conscience than maybe silence is the better way to go." Because I promise you knowing the truth will hurt Ruthie and it will wreak havoc on the trust in the relationship.' Lily stated truthfully.

"It's not like I cheated on her." Martin reminded Lily.

"No one is saying you're a bad guy Martin, but your past is unfortunately not spotless and the more idealistic Ruthie is about having that perfect guy, then the more likely it is that this is to affect her." Lily said making her point.

"She knows I'm not perfect." Martin said beginning to wonder just how tarnished a guy Ruthie would accept.

"She's a girl Martin and every girl wants to feel like no one could take her place, like without her you would be lost." Lily said wisely.

"I would be lost without her which is why I can't screw this up." Martin interjected.

It was all becoming a bit too much for Lily now. It was one thing to be Martin's casual friend but to listen to him spout off about his deep love for Ruthie…well she wasn't really there yet, in that place where it didn't hurt to know how easily replaced she was.

"I actually have to get back to work Martin so here it is summed up for you, you can either talk to Romy and make a deal to keep this secret or you can trust that Ruthie feels as deeply as you do and that she can overcome the fact that you and her roommate have a bit of a past.

Martin knew instantly from Lily's quick shut down that he had hurt her and he mentally kicked himself for being so thoughtless.

"Lil… I'm sorry; I really do appreciate you trying to help me with this." Martin said hoping his sincerity would ease a little of the tension in the room now.

And it did for better or worse Lily loved Martin for who he was warts and all and she knew that her feelings in this moment stemmed from insecurity issues more than actual heartache at this point.

"You're welcome." She said smiling at him before getting up to leave.

Not too soon after arriving in San Diego Martin and Mac had moved into a new place knowing that Martin's former one bedroom was too small to house them for long. Luckily they had been able to find a vacated two bedroom in the same complex with an even better view of the ocean than Martin's last apartment.

And it was that view that Romy stood looking at when the apartment door opened and Martin came through it, the surprise on his face at seeing her there evident.

Up to this point they both had done an amazing job of avoiding one another, but now he purposefully addressed her.

"Where's Mac?" Martin said questioning his friend's absence.

"He's in the shower." Romy said wary of being in a conversation with Martin without someone in the room to ease the discomfort factor.

Completely uncomfortable himself Martin went and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

It was easy to see that something was clearly on Martin's mind and Romy could guess what that was but she wasn't about to be the one to start "that" conversation.

But as it turned out she didn't have to.

"Can I ask you a question?" Martin asked Romy as he sat down on the couch.

"Sure." Romy said not feeling the need to elaborate any further.

"Were you planning on tell Ruthie the truth about us?" Martin said completely afraid of the answer.

"I think I have as much to lose with that venture as you do." Romy admitted honestly.

"What would you say if I told you that I'm not sure I can keep a secret like this from her?" Martin questioned.

"I'd say it's pretty selfish of you to think I shouldn't have some sort of a say in this." Romy countered annoyed at his thought process.

"I just think things like this have a way of finding there way to the surface eventually." Martin spoke honestly.

"Then they do. But why court disaster. At this point, don't you have too much to lose by telling the truth? Because I know I do. I could lose a roommate and friend and probably Mac too." Romy said informing him that for her the stakes were too high.

"I just don't want to feel guilty every time we're all in the same room together." Martin confessed.

"Hey…that's your trauma; learn to deal with it, because you owe me this. I didn't ask to be the girl you decided to use that night." Romy shot back spitefully.

Martin had had just about enough of her catty remarks and feigned innocence in all this.

"That's ironic since you were specifically recommended." Martin said wishing he could take it back the minute the words were out of his mouth.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Romy said confused but knowing the answer to the question all the same.

"Nothing." Martin said trying to back pedal now.

"Okay…no. If you have something you want to say to me, then say it!" Romy said angry that he was now choosing to keep something secret from her.

"Forget it. I didn't mean that." Martin said reluctant to fill her in.

"Yes. You did…so clarify or I will go straight to Ruthie and tell her every dirty detail of the way you and I really met." Romy threatened.

Martin didn't really know Romy very well but he certainly didn't want to hurt her and he knew what he was holding back would, but what if she did make good on her promise to tell Ruthie the truth? He decided that was a risk he couldn't take.

"I didn't run into you at that party by accident." Martin admitted reluctantly.

'You didn't?" Romy said unable to hide her surprise.

"You have to understand…I was a mess over losing Ruthie when I met this guy in my physics class." Martin started.

"And?" Romy said impatient now, needing him to speed things up as she heard the shower turn off.

"He told me that he had the perfect girl to get me over the slump I was in regarding relationships…he said you wouldn't say no." Martin said ashamed now.

"Wouldn't say "no" to what? Oh…wait…he told you I wouldn't say no to sex?!" Romy said realizing how rhetorical her question had been.

Martin didn't know what to say so he just stood there letting her vent.

"Let me get this straight – you came to that party looking for me for because someone told you I would have sex with you?!" Romy said embarrassment and anger mixed now.

"I'm sorry." Martin said sincerely.

"Are you? Or are you just sorry that you now have to own up to the fact that you went trolling for sex with some random girl?" Romy said her anger with Martin evident now.

"I made a mistake – I was making a lot of them back then. But that's why I didn't sleep with you that night, because I realized how wrong it was." Martin said in admission.

"And I'm supposed to be thankful for that?" Romy said not giving an inch.

Martin knew there was really no right answer to that question but he struggled to find one anyway.

"Who was the guy?" Romy said saving Martin from his own thoughts.

"A guy named Tad, I don't know his last name." Martin admitted reluctantly.

Romy did though, she knew exactly who had given Martin the 411 on her. Tad Kelley aka Derek's best friend.

It was hard enough admitting she'd been making multiple mistakes regarding guys now she had to deal with the fact that thanks to her sleazy ex and his Neanderthal best friend she had a reputation for giving up the goods.

She knew she'd fed into that reputation but deep down she wanted the same things as anyone else she'd just gone a different route to get it.

Martin wanted more time with Romy to figure out if they could mend the rift between them but Mac's entrance into the room stalled any chance of a deeper conversation in that moment.

One thing Martin was sure of though was that Romy had no intention of telling Ruthie the truth…at least not for now.

It had been over two weeks since Lily and Wes had begun officially dating and things were going along great with one small exception.

Olivia still had no idea that her ex and her best friend were an item and it was making Wes more than a little anxious as to why Lily hadn't told her yet.

Wes lay prone on his stomach as Lily sat straddled on top of him giving him one of the best back rubs he had ever received.

And he was really doing his best to try and enjoy it as her hands moved across his back exerting pressure on all the tension filled knots but where her hands were calming and relaxing his body it was his mind that kept him from reaching a state of total peace.

Unable to take it any more he purposefully tried to sit up the weight of her on top of him a small hindrance, but quickly getting the message she moved off of him so that he could fully obtain an upright position.

"I guess my work is done here." Lily said a little taken a back by his quick dismissal of her back rubbing technique.

"I'm sorry." Wes said as he sat on the bed next to her his arm resting casually on her bare leg.

"I really need to talk to you though."

"Okay." Lily said giving him her full attention now.

Wes was a little reluctant to start the conversation not wanting to start a fight over the issue at hand.

"I want Olivia to know about us." Wes said cutting right to it so he wouldn't lose his nerve.

Lily knew that Wes was right it was time for Olivia to know what was going on with them, but truthfully she was afraid that as much as she wanted her to, her friend wouldn't understand.

"I'm going to tell her. I promise you." Lily said hoping to skate past the issue.

"When?" Wes said not letting it die this time like it had so many times in the last two weeks.

Lily knew now that Wes needed a real time and date and she was wholly unprepared to give him that.

"It's not that easy Wes, I can't just schedule a day to drop this bombshell on her." Lily said trying to explain her reluctance.

"It's not going to get any easier for us if you keep avoiding letting her know." Wes stated knowing he was pushing but needing her to do this all the same.

"She's not going to be okay with this and I will once again be homeless." Lily said pointing out some possible pitfalls of Olivia knowing the truth.

"You could just move in with me." Wes offered.

It was a thought which scared Lily more than a little knowing how things had ended up before when she had moved in with Martin.

This time she kind of wanted that space of her own to retreat to when the going got rough.

Ruthie dropped her books on the coffee table and plopped down on the sofa.

Her classes had started and she was pleasantly surprised to find that kids did drop out of some of the full classes and so she had been able to secure a spot in three extra classes giving her a grand total of five, more than enough to keep her busy that semester.

Glancing at her watch she got up quickly and went to the closest to grab a light jacket out of it, she had exactly fifteen minutes to get over to Martin's baseball game. She had planned to take Romy with her but ever since she had started going out with Mac she was hardly ever at the apartment.

As she arrived at the game she ran into her though sitting with Mac and quickly took a seat next to her.

Seeing Romy Ruthie instantly hugged her friend before leaning over to give Mac a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Long time no see." Romy said as she smiled at Ruthie.

"Well…I'm actually living at the apartment, so the long absence would probably have to be considered your fault." Ruthie said teasing her now.

Although beneath the tease Ruthie was actually a little bit uncomfortable knowing that Romy was staying over at Martin and Mac's on almost a nightly basis.

Ruthie had tried to talk to Martin about it but he clammed up pretty quickly on the subject so she had spoken to Mac who had assured her that he and Romy were not "having sex."

At least not yet.

It was Mac's last sentence that had made Ruthie question how 'in the know" she was on Romy's level of experience. It had after all been a long time since they had actually discussed that subject, for all Ruthie knew Romy might be thinking that she and Martin had sealed the deal.

Ruthie's instinct told her that Romy was no where near as innocent as she had been when she left Glen Oak, but then neither was Ruthie so she was okay with whatever Romy may or may not have done.

"I'm going to go grab a soda and a hot dog either of you ladies need me to get you anything?" Mac questioned.

"I'll take a coke." Romy said.

"Just a bottle of water." Ruthie added.

"Okay. Good deal. I'll be right back." Mac said inching past first Romy then Ruthie.

Martin knew he was watching the stands more than the game but he couldn't help it he was a nervous wreck knowing Ruthie and Romy were sitting next to and talking to each other right now.

A conversation he would have given anything to hear.

It was clear to Martin that unless he got Romy's solemn promise that she wasn't going to say anything he was going to have to tell Ruthie the truth and suffer the consequences.


	26. Chapter 26

Title: "Here Comes Trouble"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they belong to the CW Network and 7th Heaven.

Life could not be on more of an upswing for Mac as far as he was concerned, yes he still missed Margaret, but thankfully he was finally getting on with his life and it felt good.

Meeting Romy had definitely been a highlight for him but sleeping with Lola had absolutely been the starting point of his good luck.

Who knew that a girl he'd met in a little deli could restore his confidence and restart his love life.

Lola had made good on her promise to call him when she got to San Diego and unlike the many girls of his past had been more than willing to progress things to a level not yet obtained by Mac, outside of Margaret that is.

Mac hadn't told Martin what had happened with Lola simply because he didn't want the third degree and lately Martin had been acting more like his father than his best friend, always telling him what to do.

"I noticed that your laundry is piling up." Martin said as he sipped his orange juice while sitting at the breakfast table.

Mac could not believe how incredibly anal Martin was about having things picked up and put away and kept up and dusted…etc.

"Yeah…I still have stuff to wear." Mac said nonchalantly.

"Okay…but don't you think maybe you'd have more to choose from if you…say washed some stuff?" Martin questioned hopefully.

"I'm sorry but is there a point anywhere in this conversation?" Mac said annoyance lacing his voice now.

"Actually yes – you're a slob Mac." Martin said point blank now.

"And you're a pathetically anal neat freak but you don't hear me complaining about it – well except now of course." Mac added.

"And what would you have to complain about ,the fact that I am forced to pick up after you like a maid or the fact that I keep the bathrooms clean and sanitary, because these do not strike me as things to whine about." Martin retorted.

"How about the fact that I like to feel like the place I live in is not Clorox-ed to death like a hospital?" Mac replied in answer.

Martin knew he was picking on Mac and that while he did like his place to be clean it wasn't nearly as important to him as he was making it seem at the moment.

He knew the issue he really wanted to address with Mac ran much deeper.

Martin wanted Mac to stop seeing Romy so that she wouldn't always be over there invading his space and his time with Ruthie.

"Maybe we can make a deal I'll cut back on the reminders to clean if you say…stop seeing Romy." Martin said hopefully.

"What?" Mac said more than a little shocked at Martin's request.

Martin didn't know how to get out of the hole he had just dug for himself, which was why he was hugely relieved when his cell phone rang.

"I should get this." Martin said hurrying quickly into his room and shutting the door.

Mac stood stunned – unsure what had just happened.

Romy knew she should not be standing where she was, in front of Derek's dorm room door, that she should just cut her losses and move on, but she was beyond pissed at him and his little enabler Tad.

So she knocked, purposefully and confidently, she would have her say and she would move on – it was as simple as that.

But nothing is ever as simple as you try and make it and often times it ends up ten times worse than you could have imagined.

And as the door came open and she saw him again after such a long time, she wanted to run, to be anywhere but there, but it was already too late.

"Well to what do I owe this pleasure?" Derek said giving Romy the once over.

"I came to talk to you." Romy said swallowing quickly over the lump forming in her throat now.

"Come on in then, you have my undivided attention." Derek said leering at her now.

It would be like walking into the lions den and she knew if she wasn't careful he would chew her up and spit her out when he was done with her just like her had before.

Romy would never understand how Derek had the power to make her go weak at the knees with just a sly grin.

"Actually…I'm good here. I just have a few things I want to say and I'll be out of your way." Romy said keeping her feet rooted to their spot in front of his door.

"That's too bad, see I don't have talks in the hallway…too many ears – so I guess we're done here." Derek said starting to shut the door on her.

God she hated him.

"Wait!" Romy said putting out a hand to stop the door.

"Yes?" Derek said knowing he clearly had the upper hand now.

"Can I come in?" Romy practically spat at him her unhappiness evident now.

Without a word Derek stepped aside ushering her in.

His place was still the same, nothing had changed and it made her more than a little uncomfortable.

"So what can I do for you babe?" Derek said leaning against the closed door now clearly giving her the eye.

"Well for starters you can stop calling me babe." Romy said pointedly.

"What ever revs your engine gorgeous." Derek said moving towards her now.

He'd always had a way of doing that, drawing her in to him when she hadn't wanted to be and the pull was still there and so very strong.

It was the only reason she hadn't backed away as his hand settled on her waist and traveled upward.

"I've missed you Romy." Derek said trying to sound sincere but failing miserably his intentions more than clear to her now.

"No you haven't." Romy said a little weaker sounding than she would have liked.

"Sure I have." He said as he pulled her to him. "Let me show you how much."

His lips on hers felt familiar and still exciting much to her dismay as she felt her self bending to his will, giving in to the pressure of his lips on hers.

It could have all gone south from there and probably would have if not for the unexpected entrance into the apartment of what could only be described as a very shocked girl.

A girl who Romy would soon learn was Derek's girlfriend.

She'd only meant to go there to yell and vent but instead Romy had gotten much better as she'd left him with a very angry, inconsolable girl with a fiery temper.

He clearly wouldn't be getting any action today Romy thought a smile crossing her face.

And she could yell at him later or better yet…and safer she could just send him a strongly worded email.

After finishing his phone call Martin left his bedroom praying that Mac would already be gone to class.

No such luck.

"So do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Mac said getting up from the couch where he had been waiting patiently for Martin to exit the room.

"No – not really." Martin admitted.

"Then just tell me why you don't want me dating Romy." Mac offered.

"I just think maybe Romy is a little "wilder" than you need." Martin stated trying to think of one really good reason that Mac would buy.

"I like her Martin. Yeah…maybe she's a tad on the experienced side but I think that could only be a good thing. I'm not all for waiting for marriage like you are buddy." Mac said in reminder.

"Do you ever talk about how she might have gotten that "experience?" Martin questioned trying to say something without revealing too much.

"I'm going to stick my neck out here and say probably the same way every other person does – by being with other people." Mac said truthfully.

"And that doesn't bother you that she's been with so many guys." Martin said carelessly.

"Whoa…wait a minute who said anything about "so many guys?" Mac inquired.

Martin realized his mistake immediately.

"Nobody…I thought that's what you meant by experienced." Martin lied.

Mac knew Martin too well to not realize that he was holding something back.

"If you knew something about Romy…you would tell me, right?" Mac said questioning his friend's weird behavior.

"Sure. Yes." Martin said lying completely through his teeth now.

"Okay good, because I meant it when I said that "_I like her."_ Mac admitted.

"So if you have something you need to tell me now would definitely be the time."

Martin's guilt was riding a huge wave of discontentment now, he couldn't rat Romy out with out putting his own head on the chopping block too.

Things were so much easier before he had sex Martin thought regretfully.

Delving into the physical world of women had brought him nothing but problems.

Ruthie glanced at her watch again before deciding to pack up her bag and head out. Romy was over thirty minutes late and she had a class to get to now.

Romy pulled into the parking lot of the Starbucks her breaks screeching as she came to a halt in her space.

People all around her gave her looks as she bolted out of her car and raced into the Starbucks just as Ruthie was a few feet from leaving.

"Oh thank god you're still here." Romy said relieved that she hadn't missed her friend.

"Actually, I have to get to class now." Ruthie said truthfully.

"I need to talk to you Ruthie." Romy told her friend.

"If you aren't doing anything with Mac, we can talk tonight." Ruthie promised.

"What about Martin, won't he be upset if you don't spend time with him?" Romy questioned.

"Martin will understand if I just want to spend time with you tonight." Ruthie said really believing it.

Romy however knew that Martin would probably freak if he knew that she and Ruthie were having a "girl's night", because even though she had profusely promised him she had no intention of telling Ruthie anything, she knew he still had his doubts.

Romy didn't know quite what to make of Martin, he certainly loved Ruthie but he wasn't so naïve as to believe that love conquers everything – he didn't trust that Ruthie would stick by him if she knew about their night together and Romy knew that would eventually be his downfall.

Sitting in Martin's car with him Ruthie couldn't believe they were having an argument over such a trivial thing as her spending time with Romy and it floored her.

"I wanted to do something with you tonight." Martin said desperately his head swimming with the knowledge of Ruthie and Romy's plans for that night.

Ruthie couldn't believe how possessive Martin was being of her time – it seemed so out of character for him.

"We can do something tomorrow." Ruthie offered.

"So you're picking Romy over me?" Martin said throwing all his guilt cards in now.

"No, of course not." Ruthie said exasperated now. "I'm choosing to spend time with a friend who needs me and you need to understand that."

Martin felt like a jerk, probably because he was acting somewhat like one.

"I need you too you know." Martin threw in weakly.

"You're acting weird – that's what I know." Ruthie told him.

Martin didn't know what else to say, she was right…he was, and if he wasn't careful he was going to make problems where there were none.

"You're right, I'm just being an idiot – go and have fun tonight with my blessing." Martin said finally.

"Thank you." Ruthie said leaning over to kiss him before getting out of the car to head to her next class.

"I'll call you tomorrow." She said waving good bye to him.

Martin knew the odds of Romy saying something to Ruthie were slim but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what was so pressing that she "needed" to have Ruthie with her that night to talk.

He was bound to go crazy before the night was done.

Romy stood pacing in front of the locker room waiting for him…he'd had no right to say what he had and she was going to make sure he knew exactly where they stood because she was very unhappy with him.

As Martin rounded the corner he saw Romy walking back and forth in front of the locker room and he hesitantly approached her.

"What are you doing here?" Martin asked point blank.

He was already late for practice and he needed her to make it quick.

"You had no right to tell Mac not to go out with me!" Romy spat angrily at Martin the time she had spent waiting for him doing nothing to diminish her temper.

"Mac has had a rough time with relationships I just want him to be careful." Martin said trying to sugar coat what he had done.

"Why? So he doesn't end up with a whore like me?!" Romy said her temper riled now.

"I don't think that of you." Martin assured her.

"I don't really give a damn what you think about me Martin! Just stay out of my life and my business and stop giving Mac friendly advice!" Romy warned him.

"Are you through?" Martin said angry now too.

"Yes. I guess." Romy said wary now of what was coming.

"I may have over stepped my bounds telling Mac not to go out with you..." Martin started.

"Damn right you did!" Romy said cutting him off.

"But…it's an uncomfortable situation at best Romy and you know it. I guess I just thought that if Mac found out about us it would have a lot less punch to it if he was no longer seeing you." Martin admitted honestly.

"Well thank you Mr. Selfish for thinking of no one but yourself!" Romy said sarcastically.

"Do you really think I care about myself or what this would do to me if Ruthie or Mac knew? The only people I'm worried about are Mac and Ruthie." Martin confessed.

"Cut the noble crap Martin, you're only concerned about how losing Ruthie would affect your life." Romy surmised.

"You're wrong and you don't know me at all to make a judgment like that." Martin said annoyed.

"And you don't know me well enough to make the judgments that you have either, so I guess we're even now. So let's just call a truce and let each other live their lives as they see fit." Romy said bargaining with him now.

"Fine." Martin said reluctantly. "But if you screw me in this deal…"

"If I'd _screwed_ you in this deal you'd be in a lot more trouble if our secret ever got out." Romy said abruptly turning to leave as Martin stood there shocked by what she'd just said.

Romy was going to be nothing but trouble he could feel it.


	27. Chapter 27

Title: "The Path of Rightness"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they belong to the CW network and the show 7th Heaven.

She could tell she had shocked her by the look on her face, but she had wanted to be honest with her. In hindsight maybe that hadn't been such a great idea.

Ruthie wanted to say something – anything, to erase the tension in the room at this moment but she was speechless.

It had started out innocent enough with her and Romy clad in their pj's and fuzzy slippers sitting on the couch drinking hot chocolate and sharing.

But the confessions had taken on a life of their own as Romy had filled Ruthie in on how drastically her life had changed after meeting Derek.

"So aren't you going to say anything?" Romy asked cautiously.

Ruthie knew she should, that Romy really needed her to, so she threw out her first reaction of disappointment and tried to see things from her friend's point of view.

"I guess I'm just kind of surprised – we always talked about waiting till we were married to have that kind of relationship." Ruthie reminded her.

Romy knew her friends memory was fuzzy at best so she decided to help her out with what she had really said way back then.

"I never said I'd wait, that was you. I only said I'd wait for the right guy…you assumed that meant marriage and I just never corrected you." Romy confessed.

Thinking back Ruthie realized that was probably true.

"So I understand you thinking Derek was the right guy – I get that part. What I don't quite understand are the guys after Derek." Ruthie admitted to her friend reluctantly, afraid of hurting her feelings.

Romy wanted to explain the other guys to Ruthie the problem was that she wasn't exactly sure herself how she had gone from a virginal teenager to an easy conquest.

It seemed like it happened virtually overnight and almost completely out of her control.

"I made some mistakes – huge mistakes. Derek convinced me that I was trash and no one would want me…I wanted to prove him wrong." Romy confessed a little ashamed of her actions now.

"This isn't your fault Romy." Ruthie said sympathetic to her friend now. "Any guy who would take advantage of you like that is the one who should feel like trash." Ruthie told her in no uncertain terms.

Now it was Romy's turn to feel uncomfortable, knowing that one of those guys was now Ruthie's current boyfriend Martin.

"Not all of them were bad guys." Romy said realizing she was referencing Martin in that moment.

Even though Romy wanted to hold a grudge against Martin she appreciated now that he had been the only one who had respected her enough not to sleep with her.

Ruthie really was lucky to have someone like that and Romy silently wished that if Ruthie ever did find out about her and Martin's encounter that she wouldn't let it change the bond that she and Martin had with each other, or the bond that she herself was forming again with Ruthie.

It had been a long ass night for Derek thanks to Romy and he had no intention of letting her off the hook for causing the extended argument that he'd had with his now ex -girlfriend Malina.

Even though the break-up really was his fault, he was not the kind of guy to see it that way. Girls were always the root of the problems in his life and someone else was always to blame.

And in this case he blamed Romy for coming to his apartment looking so hot and expecting him not to react by pursuing her.

"So what's the plan then?" Tad asked his friend and roommate before taking a swig of his open beer.

"I'm gonna get her back." Derek informed his friend.

"Malina wants nothing to do with you dude. I ran into her in the lounge and she is so done with you." Tad told him.

"Not Malina – I want Romy back." Derek said clearly surprising his friend now.

Tad almost choked on the swig of beer he had just taken. Was his friend totally serious or yanking his chain, he wondered.

"You've got to be kidding me. You had me trash her reputation and now you want her back? I don't get you at all." Tad told his friend his annoyance in the moment apparent.

"I thought I was done with her…but now I know that I'm not." Derek said no shame in his past indecision apparent.

Derek was a guy who was used to getting what he wanted and he saw no reason to believe that this situation would be any different.

As far as he was concerned he would have Romy back in his bed by the end of the week. No problem.

Lily knew she was afraid to open the door even though Wes stood beside her for comfort and support.

"This is a bad idea Wes; you shouldn't be here for this." Lily said panicking a little at the situation about to unfold before her.

"I'm done waiting Lily; the sooner we get over this over with the better." Wes said taking the door knob in his hand and turning it to open the door unceremoniously.

Inside the apartment Olivia jumped back from this kiss she was giving her boyfriend Mark, clearly surprised at the unexpected intrusion.

Wes' strong need to tell Olivia everything dampened a little at the sight of her and her new boyfriend, the guy who had stolen her away from him.

He truly hated that guy.

Confused Olivia turned to Lily to try and figure out just exactly what was going on.

"Why is Wes here?" Olivia asked her best friend point blank.

"I'm here because…"

"I got this Wes." Lily said cutting him off knowing that if this reveal truly had to happen it was going to sound a lot better coming from her. There was no going back now.

"He's here for moral support." Lily said.

"I wanted him here when I told you that…" Lily knew she was hesitating but suddenly the room felt so small and claustrophobic.

Sometimes Olivia hated how long it took Lily to finish a thought and truth be known this was one of those moments.

"Can you please just say whatever it is you have to say?" Olivia said trying not to sound annoyed with her friend.

"I wanted you to know that…that…"

"That what Lily? There's nothing you can say here that could be this traumatic" Olivia said reading into her friends nerves.

Reacting to how uncomfortable Lily was Wes put his arm around her and laid it on the line.

"She wanted you to know that she and I are dating now." Wes said not in the least bit worried what Olivia's reaction would be.

He should have been worried and he should have remembered how much weight Olivia's opinion carried with Lily.

Lily and Olivia had practically grown up together and had made no secret of their worship of the girl code.

And the girl code was very clear on this point…ex's were off limits.

With just one withering glare from Olivia, Lily was almost reduced to tears.

"I'm so sorry Liv." Lily said apologetically.

"This is insane…please tell me that he is joking." Olivia said looking at her friend with nothing short of disgust.

"It's not a joke and we're not looking for your approval. We just wanted to let you know." Wes informed her dropping his arm from Lily's shoulder to go and stand directly in front of Olivia now to nail home his point.

"Well good because you're not going to get it! Lily is my best friend and you are heinous Weston if you think using her like this just to get back at me is in any way acceptable!" Olivia spat angrily at him.

Both Lily and Mark were now very uncomfortable as Wes and Olivia stood face to face ready to do battle.

"Using her? Hardly…she's the best damn thing that has happened to me since you dismissed me from your life!" Wes told Olivia his intent to wound.

"You cannot date my best friend! It is not going to happen!" Olivia promised him.

"You can't stop me! Lily is a big enough girl to make up her own damn mind!" Wes said getting angrier by the minute.

"Lily is confused and nursing a broken heart because the love of her life just left her and you are taking advantage of her vulnerability!' Olivia said having figured it all out in her head now.

Lily wasn't to blame here – Wes was. And Wes and his pettiness were not going to win here because she did not want to have to console Lily when he broke her heart into a million pieces.

"You do not have this all figured out Olivia." Wes said understanding what she must be thinking.

"I am with Lily for one reason and one reason only – I love her." Wes said surprising everyone in the apartment, including himself.

"You aren't even over me yet and I'm suppose to believe you've fallen for her?!" Olivia said offending both Lily and Wes with that remark.

Now it was Mark who had had enough.

"Are you seriously going to stand here and tell your ex who he can and can't date? Why the hell do you even care?" Mark wanted to know.

Olivia knew she was painting herself into a corner, but she was hurt that her best friend and her ex had so little regard for her feelings.

"I'm waiting for an answer Olivia. Why do you care?" Mark repeated.

"Because she's my best friend and best friends don't do something like this." Olivia said weakly.

"I'm still your best friend Liv." Lily offered in a show of compassion.

"Then choose." Olivia said pointedly.

"What?!" Everyone in the room aside from Olivia said simultaneously.

"You heard me…I said choose, him or me, because you can't have both." Olivia informed her.

Lily was floored that Olivia was giving her an ultimatum and Mark and Wes were pissed but for different reasons.

Mark because it told him that Olivia still cared about Wes if she was disturbed by who he was dating and Wes because it told him that Olivia didn't give two shits about him if she was so willing to keep screwing with the things that made him happy and whole.

First she had walked out on him taking a huge chunk of his heart with her and now she was ripping out the other half by trying to take Lily from him.

"You want me to choose?" Lily said still completely bewildered.

"Yes. I do." Olivia said confident that the choice could only be her.

"Don't do this Liv…don't make me choose between you and Wes – just be happy for me." Lily said hopefully.

"I gave you a roof over your head when Adam left you just weeks before the wedding and I was here for you when Martin dumped you. I have been nothing but loyal to you and I don't think it's out of line for me to expect some of the same loyalty back." Olivia spoke defiantly.

Lily knew that Olivia was right on those points. She had definitely been there for her when men had wreaked havoc on her life…but Wes had healed her when she had felt dejected and broken.

She didn't want to lose Olivia but she was even more afraid of losing Wes…and he had said that he loved her – that had to count for something.

And with that realization a decision was made.

"I appreciate all that you've done for me Olivia…I do, but if you make me choose between you and Wes you're going to destroy our friendship because I will choose him." Lily promised.

Wes smiled…he couldn't help it. He loved how strong Lily was being right now and he knew how hard it had been for her to step out of Olivia's shadow for the first time in her life.

"Get out." Olivia said her calm demeanor belying her anger now.

"Liv…" Lily started but Olivia quickly cut her off.

"I know you don't really need me to give you a place to live because you're neither destitute nor poor but you will need my friendship in the future Lily and you will regret letting it go for him." Olivia said glaring at Wes like the enemy he had become.

"It didn't have to end like this." Lily stated sadden by the turn of events.

"Yes it did…and when you realize what you let happen here tonight – it will be too late to fix it." Olivia predicted.

As Lily stood there upset by all that had transpired Wes took her hand in his and led her towards the door and opened it, turning around one last time to say his peace.

"Why can't you just get over yourself long enough to realize that Lily loves you and that the world does not revolve around what you need and want all the time." Wes said throwing out a parting shot to Olivia.

"This is between me and Lily…stay the hell out of it." Olivia ordered.

"Right…oh and thanks for reminding me exactly why my life is so much better off with out you. I'd almost forgotten what a bitch you can be." Wes said stepping through the door and pulling it closed behind him leaving a very angry and annoyed Olivia on the other side of it.

Lily immediately went into Wes' arms after the door closed.

"I told you it was going to suck." Lily stated using her humor to try and hide her disappointment in how things had turned out.

"Yes you did and I'm an ass for not believing you…so let me take you home and make it up to you." Wes said kissing her in that moment for emphasis on exactly how he planned on making it up to her.

Standing in front of the apartment door Mac turned to Martin.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" He questioned.

Martin was anything but sure he should be there at Ruthie and Romy's place ready to make a surprise visit but he had been unable to stop himself.

"Not exactly." Martin admitted truthfully.

"Okay dude…what is going on with you? Every time Ruthie spends even a little time with Romy you freak out." Mac said showing he'd been more than a little observant of the situations surrounding him lately.

"Nothing." Martin said reaching out to ring the doorbell – anything to shut Mac up he was just hitting too close to the truth now.

Ruthie answered the door fairly quickly expecting it to be the pizza that she and Romy had ordered.

"Martin, Mac…what are you guys doing here?" Ruthie said unable to hide her surprise.

"Panty raid!!!" Mac said rushing past Ruthie and into apartment leaving Martin standing there sheepishly.

"Was this your idea or his?" Ruthie asked giving Martin a chance to pin it on Mac.

Inside the apartment Mac jumped on the couch with Romy and brought her to him and began tickling her." 

"I've come to get your panties!" Mac said his grin getting bigger the more she couldn't help her laughter.

Out in the apartment hallway it was a little less jovial.

"I thought we agreed that tonight was for Romy." Ruthie said in reminder to Martin of their earlier conversation that day.

"We did…so how is it going?" Martin said trying to quickly change the subject.

Ruthie knew she had every right to be mad at Martin but she just wasn't, she didn't exactly understand his recent bout of insecurity, but she knew whatever it was eventually he would tell her and they would move past it.

For now she was just happy to see him and truthfully happy to not have to continue trying to assure Romy that she was okay with her colorful past.

"You can come in if you want to." Ruthie said moving aside to allow him access to the apartment.

"Are you sure?" Martin said afraid she was upset with him for showing up there unannounced.

"I would really like it if you came in." Ruthie said truthfully.

Martin finally smiled as he put his arm around Ruthie and walked into the apartment with her.

"I'm not as crazy as I'm coming off right now – I promise you." Martin said solemnly.

"I know." Ruthie said accepting that the condition he was displaying right now was not a permanent one.

Back inside the apartment Mac and Romy had settled down and were sitting on the couch his arm casually about her shoulder as she teased him with a marshmallow from her hot chocolate alternately offering it to him then quickly retracting it the closer he got.

Martin sat down in the chair across from them, a little uncomfortable with their affectionate display.

"Who wants to play a game?" Ruthie asked sitting down comfortably on Martin's lap.

"Strip poker?" Mac threw out hopefully.

"Not gonna happen Mac." Ruthie said giving him a withering glare.

For just a split second it bothered Ruthie that she was the only one in the room who hadn't "done it" and that there was nothing casual to her about sex.

"I'm just saying…I'm totally up for it." Mac said in an effort to convince those not yet convinced.

"We have Pictionary." Ruthie offered. "And no…it is not Strip Pictionary before your dirty little mind goes there." Ruthie finished looking directly at Mac.

"Pictionary sounds good.' Martin said trying to help Ruthie out in her quest to keep things less sexually charged in the room.

"Thanks for backing me up there buddy…totally appreciate it." Mac said sarcastically.

"Totally don't want you eyeballing my girlfriend naked…so you're welcome." Martin shot back feeling somewhat light hearted for the first time in weeks.

Romy smiled at Martin she liked him more casual like this and thought that maybe being his friend wouldn't be half bad.

He certainly made Ruthie happy Romy thought as she watched him give her a light kiss on the side of her face and the how the smile that followed it lit her up like a Christmas tree.

It had been both an entertaining and fun night of playing Pictionary with Romy, Ruthie and Mac and Martin found surprisingly that he hadn't wanted it to end.

But all good things must and it was getting late.

"We should go Mac and let the girls get some sleep." Martin told his friend who was currently all wrapped up in Romy.

"You truly are a party pooper Brewer." Mac said dissing his friend.

"Do you really have to go?" Romy said looking into Mac's eyes.

"No I do not." Mac said no problem caving into Romy's desire for him to stay.

Ruthie knew where this was heading and she wanted to warn her friend off of her current planned course of action but the truth was she liked Mac and she thought maybe if anyone could be good for Romy it would be him.

Martin was annoyed with Mac because he suspected the situation was probably making Ruthie as uncomfortable as it was making him.

"Mac…we really should go." Martin said putting more order into it than suggestion this time.

"It's okay Martin. If Romy wants Mac to stay…he can stay. It doesn't bother me." Ruthie admitted realizing for the first time that it really didn't.

"Are you sure?" Martin said a little bit surprised by her intervention on Mac's behalf.

"Yes. In fact you're welcome to stay too." Ruthie said a little unsure of what had made her say those words the minute they left her mouth.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Martin admitted reluctantly.

"Well then you can just stop by and pick me up tomorrow." Mac offered grinning like a Cheshire cat as Romy took his hand and pulled him with her towards her bedroom the sound of his door shutting behind them leaving dead air in the room they had just vacated.

"You're welcome to stay Martin." Ruthie offered again.

It wasn't like they'd never cross this bridge before Martin had stayed overnight with Ruthie before; it was just that he suddenly felt like he was back in high school back when his resolve had seemed much stronger on the issue of waiting.

He knew he had ended up in a crossroads in his life after just such a situation like this, he Simon, Rose and Sandy had gone out together and after Simon and Rose had deserted them for the night he had been left alone with Sandy, left alone with a choice to make as she had offered herself to him – no strings attached.

And he had made the wrong choice then, but he wasn't going to now.

"Okay…but I'll sleep on the couch." Martin told Ruthie looking into her eyes and silently willing her to understand.

And she wanted to…but it stung just a little to be rejected by him, even though she knew his rejection was out of respect for her and her moral stand on sex before marriage and nothing else.

The truth was that it was getting harder and harder for the both of them to keep denying their need for each other as their love grew stronger with each passing day they spent together.

Reluctantly Ruthie went and grabbed a pillow and blanket for Martin to use, giving him just a chaste kiss on the mouth in a goodnight gesture.

Without forethought Martin grabbed Ruthie's hand as she was preparing to leave and pulled her back down on the couch his lips instantly connecting with hers, his hands immediately on her soft curves.

"I don't like waiting either." Martin whispered huskily into her ear. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life…but we need to be smart about this. " He said, quickly shutting up any response she was about to give with more passion filled kisses.

He loved the feel of her in his arms and the taste of her lips on his and for tonight that would have to be enough – because he was convinced it was the right path to follow…the right choice to make. 


	28. Chapter 28

Title: "Stuck in the Middle"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW network and 7th Heaven.

The only way Romy could think to describe her life now was…perfect. After her first night "being" with Mac things had just taken on a "glow."

It had been amazing to be with someone who had wanted not only her body but her mind and soul as well.

Mac had reached out to her on an emotional level as well as a physical one and as a result their lovemaking had taken on a life of its own making it both exciting and refreshing.

Surprisingly Romy realized she could really see herself making a go at a long standing relationship with Mac and it both thrilled her and scared her.

The fear stemmed from the fact that although she and Mac were forging a bond, a part of her still longed for Derek and the amazing heights of passion he had awaken her body to.

It had been a long, painful process letting go of Derek and she had turned to different guys to try and fill the void he had left but to no avail.

And instead of achieving her goal of meeting someone who could erase Derek from her life she had earned a reputation as a girl who was willing to "put out."

A well deserved reputation unfortunately.

Ruthie knew that Mac and Romy were now officially sleeping together, what she didn't understand was why it bothered Martin so much.

Maybe it was because he, more than Ruthie, had to deal with it as they had taken to staying over there most nights.

Or maybe thought Ruthie, letting the paranoia creep in, it was because with Mac having sex, Martin was starting to realize what he was giving up to be with her.

As Martin pulled into to the lot of the Starbucks and got out of his car he almost forgot to grab the bouquet of flowers that he had brought for Ruthie off the front seat of his car.

He had been uncharacteristically moody lately and he wanted to do something for her that made him seem semi-normal, particularly after their fight that morning.

Martin had stayed over at Ruthies' because frankly he was getting a little uncomfortable being in the apartment now that Mac and Romy were having a much more intimate relationship.

One which most nights he had the unfortunate fate of having to hear because Romy was not a quiet one to put it bluntly.

Martin had felt awkward asking Mac to have her "keep it down", but he was getting zero sleep on the nights she didn't so it was his last resort.

But the worse thing about the whole status change for Mac and Romy was the fact that Martin realized he was in way too deep now to ever tell the truth.

For better or worse he was committed to a sin of omission regarding the truth about Romy and him.

And now more than ever Ruthie wanted to talk about Romy and it was driving Martin crazy because of the guilt of keeping things from her.

This Martin realized was why he had picked the fight in the first place.

They were sitting at the breakfast table eating the breakfast Ruthie had taken the time to prepare for him –eggs, bacon and toast, when she started in again about Romy and he had started to feel the tension immediately.

"Why do you think it's so easy for Romy to sleep with someone?" Ruthie asked her curious nature looking for answers.

"I don't know." Martin said wanting to get off the subject.

"I mean it's like it doesn't have any meaning for her at all anymore." Ruthie added.

"I guess." Martin said yet another short staccato answer to get Ruthie to change the subject.

"If I ever meet that Derek guy she dated I'm going to give him a piece of my mind for what he did to her." Ruthie adamantly declared.

Martin sighed in frustration. "Maybe he did exactly what she let him do." He said done with this conversation now.

It bothered him how Ruthie always wanted to cast Romy as a saint, making her take no responsibility for her actions and always pinning the blame on the guys.

"I can't believe you just said that." Ruthie said shocked by Martin's statement.

Martin sensed that he should back down but he was tired of this back and forth now and he was tired of Ruthie defending Romy.

Just once he wanted her to understand how she was insulting him when she grouped all Romy's men together as losers and users, but he knew he couldn't tell her the reality of how close to home she was hitting so he did the next best thing and struck out at Romy.

"Romy could have said "no", but she didn't. She is just as much to blame for who she became as him." Martin argued.

"You don't really believe that – I mean…you can't. Derek is the enemy here, he used her and then he ditched her." Ruthie said still unable to believe Martin's stance on this subject.

"I'm not saying Derek is a good guy, but Romy did have the opportunity to have Derek be the only mistake she made and she chose a different route…so yeah you can blame this Derek guy for initiating her into the world of sex, but beyond that – the other guys only followed through on what she willing offered up." Martin said admitting to Ruthie what he felt to be true.

"Romy is our friend. I can't believe you would talk that way about our friend!" Ruthie said livid with Martin now.

'And I can't believe you're as blind as you are about her." Martin said trying to hold his temper in check.

'Have you always felt this way about her?" Ruthie asked her stance in front of him demanding.

Martin realized in that moment that he probably had, but his guilt made him judge himself even harsher.

"This is ridiculous Ruthie – I don't want to fight about Romy." Martin said trying to end the fight that was brewing.

"I live with Romy, she is my friend and you are my boyfriend…I can't have you not liking her." Ruthie told Martin clearly giving him no choice.

"I do like her. I just don't think she's blameless like you do." Martin admitted.

Ruthie was floored by Martin's feelings towards Romy; she had felt for some time that something wasn't quite right regarding the two of them but now it all made sense to her. Martin didn't respect Romy because of her past.

"I would never have told you about Romy's past if I'd known you were going to hold it against her." Ruthie said sullen now.

It was in that second that Martin saw a way to let Ruthie know things with out actually revealing they were about him.

"I already knew about her past." Martin admitted wishing now that it was out there that he'd taken a moment to think it through as he saw the shock register on her face.

"You did – how is that even possible?" Ruthie questioned her confusion evident.

"Let's just say someone close to me knew her from before you got here." Martin said telling the truth in the most round-a-bout way possible.

"I don't understand – are you saying you knew who Romy was before I introduced you to her?" Ruthie said beyond normal confusion now.

"I had met her before…yes." Martin admitted a little worried now about the route this conversation could head.

"Why didn't you tell me this before and why did the two of you act like you had never met before?" Ruthie said demanding answers now.

Ruthie had a really bad feeling in her stomach now; she couldn't believe that Martin had been keeping something like this from her.

"I wasn't sure she wanted you to know about how we met." Martin said truthfully but knowing he had been protecting his own butt equally at the time.

Ruthie realized that was probably true but it hurt all the same that he had been hiding something from her.

"So why are you telling me now?" Ruthie questioned.

"Because you keep on lumping together all the guys she was with and I know one of those guys and I know he's not a bad guy." Martin said truthfully.

You could have knocked Ruthie over with a feather in that moment. "So this is about defending a guy who slept with Romy probably the first time he ever met her?!"

"He didn't sleep with her – he could have, but he realized that wasn't the right thing to do." Martin told her in desperate battle to defend himself now.

"Was that before or after he took other "liberties" with her?" Ruthie said sarcasm lacing her query.

"Why would you say that?" Martin questioned afraid of the answer.

"Before you and Mac showed up at the apartment that night Romy told me everything probably more than I ever really wanted to know, so I know exactly which guy your friend was and while Romy thought what he did was respectful…I don't." Ruthie said her belief clearly passionate.

Martin felt his heart sink. In an effort to purge his guilt he'd only learned that if Ruthie ever found out the truth she would never forgive him.

"And why is that?" Martin asked sad at the unexpected twist the conversation had taken.

"Because he went to that party looking for her with the sole purpose of having sex with her, a nice guy would not do that." Ruthie said her tone preachy now.

"I don't know if I should even try and justify his actions that night – but he had just recently left someone that he believed he was meant to be with…he was lost." Martin said revealing his thought process in those dark days of his past.

For a moment Ruthie related the situation to how she had coped with losing Martin but she wasn't a guy so she didn't think like one and to her sex was designed to be the ultimate emotional bond not a casual encounter with a stranger during a depressed moment.

"I can't side with you on this Martin – I'm sorry, but Romy is my friend." Ruthie said not willing to change her stance.

Martin wanted to let go of it but he couldn't, he needed Ruthie to at least semi-understand the workings of a boy's mind.

"You can't for one second step back and think that it was at least a little bit noble of him to stop things before he made an even bigger mistake?" Martin questioned adamantly.

"Why does it even matter? It's his mistake not yours." Ruthie spoke honestly but hitting a little too close to home for comfort.

Instantly Martin backed down afraid if he continued he would reveal the truth.

"I'm going to go…I have a class." Martin said getting up quickly from the breakfast table.

Never one to leave things unfinished Ruthie grabbed onto his arm. "Are you mad at me?" She asked.

"I guess I'm just disappointed that you value Romy's opinion so high and mine so little." Martin admitted.

"Just because I won't change my opinion on your friends "good guy" status doesn't mean I don't value your opinion.' Ruthie told him.

"I changed my mind – I am mad at you." Martin said removing her hand from his arm, picking his backpack up off the couch and exiting the apartment without another word.

Ruthie sat drinking her coffee as she waited for Martin. She was still a little stunned by the argument they'd had that morning but she had done a lot of thinking about and she thought maybe she had figured it out.

Martin had called Romy as soon as he'd left Ruthie to fill her in on what had gone down and she was beyond pissed at him now but she had reluctantly understood why he'd done it.

His guilt was going to be the downfall of both of them…she could sense it like a bad accident about to happen.

"Just try and reign it in Martin…I will not let you ruin things for me." Romy threatened.

"I should just tell her the truth." Martin said honestly.

"No!" Romy shouted. "You just need to get a grip on the reality of the situation here and calm down."

When Martin didn't say anything Romy spoke up again.

"We both have too much to lose now – try and remember that the next time you feel the urge to spill anything." Romy advised clearly annoyed with him now.

"I guess." Martin admitted reluctantly.

"No…you know…and I have to go now Mac is coming." Romy said unceremoniously hanging up the phone without a good bye.

"Who was on the phone?" Mac asked coming through the bedroom door towel drying his hair, a second towel tied loosely around his waist.

He had used Martin's shower, because well, to put it frankly, his could use a good cleaning and lately Martin had been a bit distracted in the cleaning department.

"It was just a friend." Romy told Mac placing her cell phone down on the nightstand.

"Really, would that be a male friend?" Mac asked moving closer to her.

"Maybe yes, maybe no." Romy said coyly.

"Maybe I'm not okay with it being a male friend." Mac said lowering her down on the bed before he began kissing her.

With one quick tug Romy removed the towel from around Mac's waist and tossed it aside, her only thought now that she wanted to be with him.

"Maybe we can talk about that later." Romy said suggestively as she pulled Mac closer to her.

Martin knew why he had asked Ruthie to meet him for coffee he was going to say he was sorry and put the argument to rest.

But almost immediately upon sitting down her realized that wasn't going to happen.

"These are for you." Martin said handing over the elaborate bouquet of flowers he had picked up for her.

"Thanks." Ruthie said leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "So I guess you're not mad at me anymore."

"I was never mad at you – mostly just myself." He admitted.

"I figured that out after you left so fast." Ruthie said.

"You did?" Martin said part question, part statement.

"Yes, and I figured out why too." Ruthie informed him.

"Why?" Martin said before he could help himself.

"I think it's because I know him." Ruthie offered.

"Know who?" Martin said his throat drying up now.

"Your friend…I know that it's my brother Simon. " Ruthie said sure she'd figured it all out now.

"Simon?" Martin said confused now.

"Yes…I remembered that he came up here to visit you after him and Sandy had a fight and she left him for a while. He was here for like two weeks." Ruthie said trying to jog Martin's memory.

"You think I was talking about your brother Simon." Martin said pondering the possibilities of latching on to that lie.

"I know you were and don't worry about me saying anything to Simon or Romy because I won't." Ruthie promised.

Martin didn't know what to do if he continued to let Ruthie think it was Simon and she followed through on never saying anything to either Simon or Romy he was in the clear, but it might make it worse if she did ever find out the truth.

He did a mental map in his mind and couldn't connect anyone to Ruthie, besides the obvious suspects, who would tell her…so he went with it.

He would never say it was Simon, but he also wouldn't outright tell her it wasn't.

"It all fits…Simon was lost with out Sandy and Aaron so he resorted to his old ways but he came to his senses before he made a fatal mistake." Ruthie said summing it up now.

"And you're okay with that?" Martin questioned.

"I love Simon – I don't always support his actions but I'm kind of stuck with him for life so yeah…I'm okay with it." Ruthie said surprisingly.

Martin knew Ruthie would never again "bag on' Romy's other guys and for that he was relieved but he also knew that forgiving him wouldn't be like forgiving Simon because unfortunately she wasn't "stuck with him for life."

Tad felt stupid slipping the note under Romy's apartment door but the witch had been avoiding Derek's other attempts at contacting her by telephone, text and email and so had conned Tad into delivering his next attempt.

At one time Tad had wanted Romy for himself and so had done his best to sabotaged her and Derek's relationship by telling him lies about her fooling around, lies that had attacked his pride and caused their downfall.

He had never expected Romy to react the way she did, sleeping with anyone and everyone, he had expected her to turn to him, a plan that had clearly back-fired.

Tad no longer wanted her, he wasn't in to used good, but he didn't want her back with Derek either where she could easily find out about his past deceptions and ruin his and Derek's friendship.

Still he owed Derek because of what he had tried to do, so he slipped it under the door and turned around to leave only to find himself standing in front of a short, petite brunette with curls his fingers itched to touch.

"Can I help you?" Ruthie asked staring at the guy with the messy auburn hair and impossibly light green eyes.

"Uh…no. I'm good thanks just leaving a letter for a friend." Tad said curious why he was revealing so much to a perfect stranger…a beautiful perfect stranger.


	29. Chapter 29

Title: Cleaning the Karma

Author: Juana

He had been unable to get her out of his mind since their chance meeting at Romy's door, he knew who she was now though – Ruthie Camden, Romy's friend and roommate.

It couldn't have been a more impossible situation, unless of course you also counted in the fact that she apparently had some boyfriend that she was super committed to.

He didn't care though – committed relationship or not Tad was going to get to know Ruthie and to convince her to go out with him.

And he wasn't above using whatever or whoever it took to make that happen, which was why he had followed Romy to the library and now purposefully sat down across from her at the table where she sat reading.

Romy didn't notice him at first her mind centered on studying and the other thing that had been clouding it lately – Derek's letter.

It was so completely unlike Derek to make such an effort that she had actually begun contemplating meeting up with him like he had asked her to in the letter.

Bored with waiting for her to notice him Tad cleared his throat to try and get Romy's attention and she immediately looked up her face scrunching in disgust at the sight of him.

"What ever it is you want…I'm not interested." Romy said annoyed.

'Is that any way to greet an old friend?" Tad said trying to keep the sarcasm out of his tone.

"You suck Tad and you are not my friend. I know what you were telling other guys about me after Derek and I broke up." Romy said calling him out now for his past behavior.

"I only did what Derek asked me to do." Tad informed her hoping it would get him off the hook and Derek on it – kill two birds with one stone so to speak.

"Whatever, I don't care anymore, so if you're here on Derek's behalf you can tell him to just forget it…I don't want anything to do with him." Romy said trying to dismiss Tad as quickly as possible since she knew Mac, Martin and Ruthie were on their way to meet her.

"I'm not here for Derek – I was hoping maybe we could mend our differences and maybe be friends." Tad suggested.

Romy couldn't help it as she busted out laughing at such a ridiculous thought.

"I'm sorry…you were serious?" Romy said wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes realizing for the first time that he might not be joking.

"I'm not sure if I get why that's so funny." Tad said annoyed with her now.

Clearly he didn't and clearly he was up to something. Tad had been Derek's lackey for as long as Romy could remember and now here he was bad mouthing him – something was definitely backwards.

"What's your angle Tad? What is it you really want from me?" Romy said done with the little game he was playing.

Tad contemplated telling her the truth that he wanted her to put in a good word with Ruthie about him, but he quickly realized the ridiculousness of that thought.

Romy would never forgive him or forget what he'd done and actually he didn't blame her.

"I just feel bad for what I did –saying all those things about you." Tad started but Romy quickly cut him off.

"Then say you're sorry and move on because were done here." Romy told him with finality.

With the realization that Romy wasn't going to be any help Tad pushed away from the table and was about to get up when Ruthie walked in and started over towards Romy.

She was just as beautiful as he remembered and he silently applauded himself for the perfect timing.

"Hey Romy sorry I'm a little late…" Ruthie began her thought cut off by the realization that someone was sitting at the table with her.

"Hi." Tad said smiling at her.

"Hi." Ruthie said a little surprised to see the same guy she had run into at the apartment sitting at the table with Romy.

'Aren't you going to introduce us?" Tad prompted Romy.

"Yea…no." Romy informed Tad spitefully.

Tad had to be the most transparent person Romy had ever met. It was so obvious that he was attracted to Ruthie and every protective instinct that Romy had kicked in.

Ruthie was a little unsure what was going on but she sensed the immediate tension between Romy and the guy with the mesmerizing eyes.

Completely annoyed now with Romy, Tad got up from the table and extended his hand out to Ruthie to shake. "Tad Kelley." He said in introduction.

"Ruthie Camden" Ruthie said returning the handshake before sitting down next to Romy.

Tad took his seat again not taking his eyes off Ruthie.

"So what do you do for fun Ruthie?" Tad asked trying to keep a conversation going with her.

"She goes out with her hunky baseball player boyfriend, who is 6ft tall and gorgeous." Romy said giving Tad an evil glare."

'Thanks for the update Roms…but I was talking to Ruthie." Tad said in reprimand.

"My name is not Roms…and she is not interested in you so buy a vowel and get a clue Tads." Romy shot back annoyed beyond words now.

Ruthie felt like she should intervene and stop Romy and Tad from biting each others heads off, but thankfully she didn't have to as Mac and Martin picked that very moment to show up.

Romy was relieved to see Martin and Mac so that Tad would go the hell away – she didn't know what he wanted but she knew it couldn't have been good for anyone else but him.

It was time for him to get a dose of reality, seeing Martin and Ruthie together would show even thick headed Tad that they were the perfect couple.

But it was Romy who got the dose of reality instead as Mac greeted Tad with the enthusiasm of seeing a long lost friend.

"Hey buddy! How's it going?" Mac said giving him a pat on the back.

Suddenly Tad saw his luck begin to turn, if Romy wasn't going to help him there were ways around her and he had just found one.

"Mac…it's going good…just hanging out with a friend." Tad said motioning towards Romy in explanation.

"You know Romy?" Mac asked a little curious now.

"Yea…we're old friends." Tad offered giving Romy a smile that said it all – he held the upper hand now.

"So how do you two know each other? Romy said between gritted teeth.

"We have a couple of classes together." Mac told her. "English and weight lifting."

Karma really did have a way of coming back around to bite you in the ass thought Romy.

Martin hadn't said anything after sitting down to take the seat next to Ruthie because he was trying to remember where he might have seen this guy before, he looked so familiar.

Leaning over Ruthie gave Martin a kiss on the cheek.

"You okay?" She asked wondering why he had yet to say anything.

"Yea…the guy Mac is talking to just looks so familiar." Martin whispered not wanting the guy to know he was talking about him.

Tad was having the same sort of dejà vu feeling about Ruthie's boyfriend, he had met the guy somewhere before…but where?

Interrupting both Martin and Tad's contemplative moment Mac spoke up. "You should join us for the movie Tad."

"Tad?" Martin found himself repeating out loud which immediately garnered Tad's attention.

Like a bolt of lightening it hit them both at the same time where they had met each other and while Martin became immediately leery of Tad, Tad realized that these two, meaning Mac and Ruthie's boyfriend, were just making things easier.

"That's right and you are?" Tad said waiting for Martin to fill in the blank because he knew now who he was but he couldn't remember his name.

Martin felt sick to his stomach, he didn't really believe in Karma but if he had he suspected it would be something very similar to this feeling he had now.

"That's my buddy Martin." Mac said believing he was being helpful.

"Martin…right, I thought I knew you…we were in physics class together once." Tad said.

'We're we?" Martin said trying to pretend now that he had no idea who Tad was.

Tad actually remembered Martin more from the party, the same party where he had seen Martin and Romy leave together and knowing Romy she had given him the ride of his life – how awkward for him it must have been to be keeping such a big secret from his girlfriend.

And looking at Martin squirming uncomfortably in his seat Tad knew his instincts were correct.

Ruthie was clueless to the fact that Martin and Romy had been bed buddies.

Damn this day was just getting sweeter.

"So are you up for the movie?" Mac repeated to Tad as Romy resisted the urge to kick him under the table.

"Count me in. What are we seeing?" Tad questioned as both Romy and Martin cringed at the thought of him joining them.

Romy was so mad at Mac by the time they got home from the movie that she refused to let him stay over or to go with him to his place and Mac was more than a little confused.

"I don't understand – What did I do?" Mac questioned.

"You ruined the night, that's what you did!" Romy said slamming the bedroom door in his face.

Mac turned flabbergasted towards Ruthie and Martin as they sat on the couch.

"Help?" He pleaded.

"I don't think she actually likes that Tad guy too much." Martin offered.

"Then why didn't she say so? I mean Tad's a cool guy and all but so not worth what she subjected me to during the ride home. She's mean when she's mad." Mac informed them.

"I don't understand what did Tad do?" Ruthie asked not sure why Romy didn't like him he seemed pretty cool to her.

Martin wished he could tell Ruthie what he knew and that he could warn her to stay away from Tad but he knew the better route would just be to talk to Mac later and keep him from bringing Tad around.

"Nothing as far as I could see." Mac said agreeing with Ruthie just as the bedroom door opened and Romy entered into the living room.

"Are you still here?!" Romy said shooting Mac an evil glare.

'We were just leaving." Mac said silently signaling for Martin to join him.

Annoyed with Mac, Martin got up and gave Ruthie a quick kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Martin promised her before joining his exiled buddy in leaving the apartment.

Ruthie turned to Romy as soon as the door closed.

"Care to tell me why you're mad?" Ruthie inquired of her friend.

"Not really." Romy said grabbing a bottle of water and heading back into her bedroom leaving Ruthie to wonder just what exactly was going on with her.

Tad had been gifted with good looks and charm, two qualities which successfully hid the less than honorable intentions he might have on occasion.

This was just such an occasion.

He kept Marissa on stand-by, making sure she never felt used, because of the invaluable resource she had become to him.

It wasn't like sleeping with her was his favorite thing to do – she was borderline homely, but she worried more about pleasing him then herself so when the occasion called for it he made the sacrifice.

Marissa worked in the admissions office and had changed more than one grade for him to help keep his grade point average up, comparatively what he needed from her now would get her in a lot less trouble if she ever got caught.

"Did you get me what I asked you for babe?" Derek asked as he rolled over and laid his head back on the pillow, having fulfilled his part of the deal – he gave her sex, she did him favors.

Marissa sat up in bed pulling the sheet over her as she reached for her purse and extracted the papers to hand to him.

Tad opened the papers and smiled – bingo! Marissa had come through, in his possession he now had Ruthie's class schedule and with Marissa's help he could be transferred into one of her classes in a heartbeat.

As he perused the schedule looking for his in Marissa snuggled up next to him and he resisted the urge to shrug her off – for better or worse he still needed her.

"So tell me again why you needed this girl's schedule." Marissa asked a hint of jealousy in her voice.

"It's for Derek." He lied. "She turned him down for a date so he asked me to get her back."

"And how exactly are you supposed to get her back?" Marissa asked her curiosity peaked.

Marissa knew that Tad would do pretty much anything for Derek, so his explanation didn't really surprise her but the thought that he might be going after this girl in a romantic way, just so he could dump her did.

Marissa had been dumped enough times to know she didn't like how it felt.

Tad knew he could tell Marissa at least part of the truth, so he did.

"I'll get her interested in me and then when she is I'll tell her I'm not interested, that way Derek gets the last laugh." Tad admitted knowing the only truth to that was his intention to get Ruthie interested in him.

Marissa however bought it hook, line and sinker. "Okay…so long as you don't really date her I guess I can live with the flirting." She said clearly deluded if she thought she had any power or say over what Tad did.

"So this drama class looks interesting get me in there." Tad said pointing it out on the paper.

"And what will you give me if I do?" Marissa said trying to look seductive but failing miserably.

Tad choked a little at the sight of Marissa trying to seduce him. "Anything you want babe.' he said drawing her into his arms and closing his eyes trying to imagine she was someone else.

Martin was early picking up Ruthie for a reason, he needed to talk to Romy things were no longer unable to be connected and he was afraid now.

Ruthie however had been the one to open the door and greet him; Romy apparently didn't have a class until later that day and was still asleep.

"I was just getting ready to take a shower did you want to come in and wait for me in the bedroom?" Ruthie hinted suggestively.

The thought of Ruthie taking a shower when he was just a few feet away began that slow ache in Martin and for a moment he started thinking crazy thoughts.

Thoughts like if he slept with Ruthie she'd be less likely to leave if...no…when she found out the truth, because Martin was one-hundred percent sure now that there were too many people who potentially knew.

Taking Martin's non-answer as a sign of acceptance Ruthie took his hand in hers and led him into the bedroom shutting the door behind him.

Martin willing followed her to the bed their mouths already melded together as he laid her down beneath him but as he looked into her eyes he knew he couldn't do it.

He loved Ruthie and she deserved much better than a relationship heavy with deceit and lies.

If he slept with her now he would only be making things worse not better.

Martin just wanted things back to normal and he knew of only one way to do that.

He knew that Romy would hate him but he had to do it.

Getting up off the bed Martin took Ruthie's hand and pulled her up with him until she was standing in directly in front of him.

" I need to tell you something…something I've been keeping from you." Martin admitted.

Ruthie looked at Martin concerned, conversations that started out with such an ominous tone never ended good.

"Go ahead…I'm listening." Ruthie said sitting back down on the bed.

Martin sat back down too and took Ruthie's hand in his. He knew this conversation wasn't going to be easy but he was ready for it now.


	30. Chapter 30

Title: "Trust In Me"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story they are the property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

Why do I keep on trusting him? That was the thought running through Ruthie's mind as she tried to absorb all that she had just learned from Martin.

She had asked him to leave so she could get dressed, telling him she needed some time to think about what he had just confessed to her and he had left reluctantly.

Now as she put the finishing touches on her make-up and slipped her hair into a quick pony tail, she fought to keep the tears back.

Meanwhile Martin sat apprehensively in the other room waiting for Ruthie to come out and say or do something to make him feel like he'd done the right thing by telling her.

It hadn't been a conversation that he had wanted to have in the first place, but it was done – it was out there.

Now all that he needed was for Ruthie to respond and to tell him how she felt about him and the situation.

Ruthie knew the next move was hers and that Martin was waiting for her to either let him have it or let him off the hook, but in all honesty all she felt right now, in this moment, was shock.

She wasn't mad at him, but she wasn't ready to say all was okay either.

Ruthie knew that Martin had made numerous bad choices since the whole Sandy incident, but up until this they had seemed fairly removed from her.

Romy was not far removed from her – Romy was her roommate.

Finally dressed Ruthie entered the living room and started to say something to Martin, but had to stop for fear of breaking down right there in front of him.

Martin couldn't take the waiting any longer as he saw the tears begin to pool behind Ruthie's eyes.

"Please say something – I can't take the silence." Martin begged while trying to remain his composure.

Ruthie swallowed over the lump in her throat again and tried to block out some of the more unpleasant mental pictures that were cascading through her mind in that moment.

"I can't." Ruthie said truthfully.

"Why not?" Martin said needing something a little more promising.

"Put yourself in my place Martin – if you'd just found out that I'd messed around with Mac and that I'd been keeping it from you…what would your first reaction be?" Ruthie said surprisingly calm now.

"I'd probably be angry with you." Martin said truthfully.

Ruthie's first thought was that it would probably be better if she could just be angry with him and get it out of the way, but not unlike grieving a loss she knew she wasn't at that stage just yet.

"Well…I'm not angry – I'm completely disappointed and a more than a little uncomfortable with the situation…but I'm not angry – not yet anyway.

"Maybe if I could just explain to you where my head was at then…maybe you'd understand a little better." Martin offered half hoping she wouldn't want to go that route.

And thankfully she didn't.

"I'd really rather you didn't." Ruthie admitted. "I have enough to process without that kind of information."

"I have to admit you're taking this pretty well. I was expecting the type of reaction I got when you found out about Sandy." Martin said speaking freely about the subject now.

As he spoke that sentence Ruthie knew that her lack of reaction had given Martin false hopes and she didn't want to keep him on that path – she needed to be honest with him even if he hadn't returned the favor.

"I'm still processing it all Martin – I'm not okay with this. What you did before we got together – those are your errors to live with and not really mine to judge, but you kept something pretty major from me and you lied to me." Ruthie informed him a sad look crossing her face.

Martin knew that even if he could have taken it all back and done things differently he probably wouldn't have.

He'd made a decision back then that things were still too new with him and Ruthie to withstand another huge stumbling block like Romy – he still stood by that decision.

"I'm not perfect Ruthie and obviously you think I made the wrong choice in not telling you right away, but I'm telling you now." Martin said still hoping to smooth over the situation.

"I just don't think you understand how important being able to trust you is to me Martin. How am I supposed to trust you now?" Ruthie asked.

A part of Martin thought that he would feel worlds better if he could just get her to lose her temper with him, that if she would yell and scream she would feel better.

The calm Ruthie was unnerving him with her logical and unemotional assessment of the situation at hand.

'I don't know…you just do. This is an entirely new leaf I've turned over here today – I have no more secrets." Martin promised.

"Trust is something you earn.' Ruthie said the finality in her tone a little frightening to Martin.

"So how do I earn it back then? What do I have to do?" Martin said willing to do just about anything to right his wrongs at that point.

"You don't lie to me anymore for one thing." Ruthie said clearly just getting started

"And you trust me enough to confide in me. No matter how embarrassed or ashamed you are of what you might have done." Ruthie continued.

"I will." Martin said sincerely realizing he was probably being given nothing short of a God given reprieve for his past indiscretion.

"And you keep everything regarding Romy above the radar – no more secret pacts, no more secrets…period. Ruthie finished having laid it all out for him in black and white taking away any excuse of a grey area.

"I can do that." Martin promised again.

"I hope so…because I'm not like Lily Martin – I won't stay if you give me a reason to leave. I have to know that you are in this with me one-hundred percent." Ruthie said honestly.

"I am…although I have to admit it hurts a little to hear you so willing to pack up and go if we hit a rough patch." Martin said unable to mask the wound that thought brought to light.

"Don't misunderstand me Martin…I will fight for this relationship as long as it's worth fighting for but things like lying and cheating make something a lot less valuable." Ruthie said wise beyond her years.

"I would never cheat on you." Martin said vehemently.

"Until today I would have thought you would never lie to me either." Ruthie threw out carelessly, hurting Martin's pride unintentionally in the process.

"Are you trying to hurt me?" Martin asked shocked.

Ruthie realized in that moment that "angry Ruthie" was beginning to rear her ugly head with unfiltered thoughts and hurtful statements.

"It's how I feel." Ruthie said still throwing careless statements to the wind.

"How can you even make a statement like that with a clear conscience?" Martin questioned.

It was clear now that Martin was alluding to Ruthie's secrets regarding Ian that he had found out about only when Ian had forced Ruthie's hand.

Slowly Ruthie realized she had taken her power play a little too far at that point. In trying to keep Martin in line she had only succeeded in reminding him of her short comings.

She either had to back down at this point or stand her ground and hope he did the backing down.

She chose to stand her ground.

"My conscience is fine. I didn't really have to tell you about Ian since it was way before we were together." Ruthie stated quickly realizing her mistake this time.

Martin was livid now. Ruthie was trying to play by two different sets of rules.

"So was Romy…so technically what you've just said is that I didn't have to tell you either." Martin pointed out to her glibly.

"That's different and you know it!" Ruthie said raising her voice now.

"How is it different?!" Martin demanded raising his voice now too.

"I live with Romy, you don't live with Ian!" Ruthie said as if that whole argument made any sense.

"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! " Martin said shouting at her now.

The situation was clearly escalating out of control and neither seemed to be willing or even able to end it with a simple apology.

Thankfully Romy opened her door and popped her head out right then, keeping them from furthering the damage as they both stared at each other annoyance and anger mixing to a dangerous combination.

As each stood there unmoving Romy approached them.

"Is everything okay in here? I can hear you arguing in my room. Romy admitted.

"Why don't you ask your partner in crime?" Ruthie spat angrily as she scooped up her book bag off the couch and headed out the door before Martin could stop her.

"My partner in crime?" Romy repeated turning to give Martin an evil glare.

"It's not as bad as it looks…" Martin started but Romy was unable to keep her tongue and cut him off quickly.

"You jerk! You told her didn't you?!" Romy said her voice full of disdain for Martin.

"I had to…"Martin said trying to defend himself but being cut off once again.

"You had no right to do that and no reason either! I'm sorry you conscience haunts you like 24-7 but that's not a good enough argument to ruin everything for me too!" Romy said beyond disgusted with him at this point.

"Too many people knew Romy…it was only a matter of time. " Martin informed her.

"Please tell me you weren't worried about Tad telling Ruthie…he doesn't even know her." Romy said annoyed still.

"The bottom line Romy is that anybody telling her other than me would have been worse…this way the fall-out is limited. I have to trust that she's going to work through this.' Martin said hopefully.

"Yeah…looks like that's working out really great for you." Romy said spitefully.

"We had a fight, we'll get past it. In the meantime you should probably think about telling Mac the truth too." Martin informed her.

"Clearly…since you've left me with no other options. I really do hate you." Romy said going back into her bedroom and slamming the door.

"Join the club." Martin murmured as he exited the apartment.

Wes didn't know what to do, Lily had not been herself since her little blow out with Olivia and he needed the old Lily back.

It was why, against his better judgment he now stood at Olivia's apartment door knocking. He had contemplated calling first but was afraid she would just hang up on him like she had been doing to Lily every time she had attempted to reach her.

Standing on the doorstep Wes saw someone peek through the peep-hole in the door and immediately he knew she had no intention of opening it now that she knew it was him.

'Dammit Olivia open the freakin door!" Wes said pounding on it.

"Drop Dead!" Olivia shouted back though the door.

"You can either let me in or we can air the dirty laundry right here. I'm sure you're neighbors would love the show." Wes said raising his voice for all to hear.

Quickly Olivia opened the door and grabbed his arm to pull him in, shutting the door forcefully behind him.

"Say what you have to say and then get the hell out of here!" Olivia said angrily.

Wes knew what he had come here to say but the sight before him literally knocked the wind out of him.

The entire time he had dated Olivia she had been the picture of perfection, nary a hair out of place. The Olivia that stood before him was worlds different.

Olivia knew she looked a mess and she really didn't give a damn. Thanks to Lily and Wes her life was in shambles so her lack of personal grooming seemed warranted.

"What the hell happened to you?" Wes questioned before he could help himself.

"Is that really the reason you came here to tell me I look like crap?" Olivia quizzed him daring him to respond.

"No. I came here to talk about Lily, but maybe we should talk about this first." Wes said motioning to both her disheveled appearance and her apartment that looked like it had been ransacked.

"Mark and I broke up and my life has fallen apart." Olivia said simply as if they were having a day to day conversation.

Wes knew it probably hadn't been easy for Olivia to admit that, much less to him.

"Wow…I'm sorry." Wes said sincerely.

"No you're not, you're gloating and I detest gloating." Olivia snapped at him.

"Liv…I'm not gloating. I really am sorry." Wes said giving her his best sincere smile.

Olivia looked at Wes remembering for the first time in a long time how good they had been together. No doubt about it she had really messed up her life by giving into Mark and his promises of a passionate romance and life.

"I have no one Wes…Mark is gone…Lily is gone…you're gone…I'm alone and it hurts." Olivia said the tears freely flowing now.

Wes hated it when Olivia cried…she'd done it so seldom when they were together but it had always reached his compassionate side and made him ache to make her feel better.

It still had that affect.

It wasn't as if he reached out for her as much as they reached out for each other, but without forethought or warning she was in his arms and he was comforting her.

Olivia knew this was dangerous territory, not because she believed Wes still had feelings for her but because she knew now that she still had feelings for him.

It had hit her like a ton of bricks on the day that he had professed his love for Lily.

After he and Lily had gone she had been unable to let it go and it was that very realization that she still loved Wes that had caused the end of her and Mark.

Mark was a man who operated on pride and even though he had shared Olivia in the beginning it had been simply because he knew he would win.

This time he knew by the look in Olivia's eyes when Wes had walked out the door that Wes would be the clear winner if he was ever pitted against him again.

And Mark didn't like to lose so he had instead forfeited. You couldn't lose if you took yourself out of the game.

It felt a little foreign to Wes to be holding Olivia in his arms after such a long time apart, but he knew it was a friendly gesture and nothing more so he did his best to console her as she sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder.

It would be a lie though to say that it didn't stir up any of the emotions and feelings that they use to share.

As he ran his hands gently down the back of her head Olivia gave a sigh of contentment and Wes immediately tensed and pulled away from her.

"I should go. Well have this conversation another time when you're feeling a little better." Wes said eyeing his escape route knowing he would have to get around her to actually get to the door.

"Wes…" Olivia began.

"Don't do this Liv." Wes said panicking a little now." I'm finally getting some closure with our past – I'm not the solution here…If you left Mark because of me…well then you made a mistake." Wes said simply stepping by her to get to the door.

Olivia didn't know what to say…she'd had no ill intentions, she respected Lily far too much to do anything that heinous to her…but in her heart she wanted Wes to know that she knew she'd screwed up.

"I'm not asking you for anything or expecting anything from you Wes…I just wanted to say that…I was sorry…for everything" Olivia finished.

It caused him to turn even though he didn't want to.

"Thank you and…apology accepted." Wes said smiling at her as he put his hand back on the knob of the door. "

"You really should call Lily – she's a good listener and she misses her best friend." Wes said finally saying what he came there to say.

"I will." Olivia said smiling back at him, the first smile she had afforded herself in days.

Ruthie's classes had been dragging today and she couldn't wait to get her last one of the day over so she could have some time to sit down and figure some things out.

She normally loved her drama class but today the thought of interacting with so many over eager people just didn't appeal to her.

Tad stood outside the drama room his newly altered schedule in hand excited at the prospect of seeing Ruthie.

He scoped her out as soon as he entered the room; she was off by herself in a corner of the theater room looking almost as if she wanted to just blend in.

He hadn't taken her for a blender – still he could work with it.

Deliberately Tad walked over and sat down right next to Ruthie.

"Well this is a small world." Tad said trying to be clever.

Ruthie looked over at Tad a little perturbed; she wasn't really in the mood to make conversation with someone who for all intents and purposes was a stranger to her.

"Yea…I guess it is. Although I've got to be honest with you – lately you are everywhere." Ruthie said to show him she wasn't as clueless as he might think.

"Did Romy say something to you?" Tad said going on the defensive now.

"Why? Is there something Romy should be telling me?" Ruthie asked annoyed that Romy possibly had yet another secret from her.

"Plenty…just don't believe her, she's not exactly my biggest fan." Tad admitted.

Ruthie knew she should probably defend her friend but honestly she didn't want to defend anyone right then – she just wanted to forget.

"I don't have to hate you just because Romy does." Ruthie said surprising Tad with her quick turn around.

"Good. I like a girl who has a mind of her own." Tad said smiling.

Ruthie realized that Tad was flirting with her now and that normally this would be where you tell someone you had a significant other, so as not to give them the wrong impression, but she wasn't ready to protect or defend any of Martin's interests either, so she didn't.

Tad waited for Ruthie to use the boyfriend card and was a little surprised when she didn't – pleasantly surprised.

"I was going to grab a coffee after class is over…are you interested in joining me?" Tad said putting the offer out there before she had a change of heart.

"Maybe another time…I have something I need to take care of tonight." Ruthie told him not exactly shutting him down, but not ready to accept his offer of friendship at face value.

Thankfully Ruthie had done some growing up in the two years she had been away from Martin and she knew leading Tad on to prove a point would only blow up in her face and that patterning Martin's mistakes wouldn't make her feel any better.

She needed to work things out with Martin – then and only then would she be okay.


	31. Chapter 31

Title: "It's Only Forever"

Author: Juana

Standing in the semi darkened apartment building hallway Ruthie tried yet again to get the stupid key to go into lock of the door.

It was being stubborn.

Finally out of sheer luck or force – she wasn't sure, it fit and she carefully opened the door to go inside the apartment.

On the other side of the door both Mac and Martin stood poised to deal with the impending intruder.

Martin had his baseball bat gripped tightly in his hand ready to use it if need be, while Mac's forage to find some protection had only lead him to a tiny omelet pan.

"Seriously?" Martin said in whisper as he acknowledged what Mac's contribution to a physical altercation would be. "Are you planning on inviting him in for breakfast?"

"No I was gonna let you clobber him and then I was gonna scramble his brains." Mac said trying to pun his way out of a situation that had his adrenaline pumping and his nerves shot.

As the door came open shedding a small amount of light on the figure entering Mac recognized her instantly.

"Ruthie?" Mac asked more to identify her than anything else afraid Martin might accidentally take her out with his poised base ball bat.

"Yes – I'm sorry. I was just going to let myself in really quietly with the key that Martin gave me, but then it got stuck. I didn't mean to scare you. "She said in a whisper.

"You booty calling Martin?" Mac asked even though he knew it was totally not appropriate or any of his business.

Martin took his cue from Mac's too personal question and stepped out of the shadows surprising Ruthie a little.

"We're you planning on hitting me with that?" She quipped.

"No – you were actually the last person I expected to see coming through that door tonight." Martin said a little too harsh but he couldn't help himself.

He had been texting her all day and she hadn't returned even one of his phone calls – he was a little bitter.

"If you two are going to fight then I'm just gonna head back to bed." Mac stated ready to take his leave now.

"I'm not here to fight." Ruthie said the honesty evident on her face.

"Oh well in that case…"

"Go to bed Mac." Martin said putting a heavy hand on his request.

"I always miss out on all the fun." Mac said putting on his best two year old whine as he headed to his bedroom and closed the door.

The minute she heard his door shut Ruthie turned to Martin. "I take it he still doesn't know."

"I don't know. He knows we're in a fight but I haven't told him why. Martin said honestly.

Standing in the dimly lit room Ruthie could hear the pain in Martin's voice – he was suffering.

"Can I stay – can we talk about this?" She asked needing an acknowledgment from Martin that coming here tonight had been the right thing to do.

"I have an early class tomorrow – I can't be up all night fighting with you Ruthie." Martin said truthful but sad all the same.

He wanted to work things out with her, it truly was his priority. But school was as good an excuse as any not to have to fight with her when he was tired and all his defenses were down.

"I don't want to leave with this unresolved between us. Please – it's important to me." She admitted albeit reluctantly.

It was always hard to admit a weakness. Martin and making him happy were her weakness.

Martin truly struggled with the sane thing to do here. He wondered if it could really be resolved that easily – afraid that it couldn't.

But he needed to know, to at least try. It was a stark realization in that moment that she hadn't actually said she wanted to work it out; just that she hadn't wanted to leave it unresolved.

Did he really want her to break up with him at 1:30 in the morning? Because that was his fear now that she was there to break it off with him – resolve it once and for all.

It seemed like forever before he finally looked at her the pain from their earlier altercation still warm and transparent in his eyes.

" I've never been very good at telling you no." Martin answered causing a huge wave of relief to pass through Ruthie.

"Let's go in my room Mac tends to eavesdrop.

"I do not." Mac said opening the door of his room quickly. "I'm just a light sleeper and you're a really loud talker.

"Good night Mac." Martin and Ruthie said simultaneously as they headed into Martin's bedroom and closed the door.

Mac closed his bedroom door too now and went to sit on his bed.

He knew the gory details of why Ruthie and Martin were fighting – Romy had told him everything in a tearful confession begging him not to hate her.

He didn't hate her, he'd be lying if he said it didn't weird him out a little to think of her and Martin being together like that – but he didn't blame her.

Everybody makes their mistakes and really on a scale of 1 to 10, to Mac, this was maybe a three – pretty harmless.

So Romy was Martin's infamous Party Girl – big deal. She was rocking his world right now and he wanted to keep it that way.

Suddenly it occurred to Mac that if Ruthie was here with Martin it meant Romy was at her apartment all alone and he smiled a devilish grin.

Maybe someone would be getting a booty call tonight after all he thought as he slipped his feet into his Vans and grabbed his jacket off the floor and without another thought headed for the door.

The tension in Martin's bedroom was almost palpable.

It always seemed to be like this with him and Ruthie, both having so much to say, but afraid of saying it.

It occurred to him now that he had spent a great deal of his time living at the Camden's arguing with her.

They both had such strong wills and larger than life personalities that had always needed to be fed.

And neither of them liked to be wrong – he was starting to think not much had changed.

Ruthie sighed deeply unsure where to start what to say, she knew everything she wanted in her life now was right here in this room and it could be summed up in one word – Martin.

She still had her back to him and Martin couldn't help thinking that was a bad sign, bad news was always harder to deliver.

He was being driven crazy by her silence.

"You said you wanted to talk." Martin gently reminded her.

Slowly Ruthie turned, what she was about to say meant surrendering her pride – she was never very good at that.

"I'm an idiot Martin." She said in a low but humbled voice.

"No you're not." He assured her.

"I am – I'm living in this grown-up world with you but sometimes I still feel like that little girl who had this huge crush on the hot boy that was staying at her house – the boy who kept telling her he just wanted to be friends." She was putting all her insecurities out there for him in that moment.

"You know that's not how I feel now." Martin reminded her.

"If I'm honest it's not even how I felt then, but you were 15 years old."

"I know, but what I'm trying to help you understand here is – today when I found out about Romy – I felt like that 15 yr old girl again."

"Why?" It was a simple question.

The answer however wasn't so simple.

"Because back then you needed more and that's why you slept with Sandy and when you came here you were with Romy for the same reason – I'm afraid you're always going to need more and our relationship is always going to be so juvenile." Ruthie knew it was out there now for better or worse – her fear that a relationship with no sex would eventually leave Martin unsatisfied and wanting something more "adult."

Martin knew the worst thing he could do now would be to try and appease her with a lie and she deserved better than that anyway.

"Come here Ruthie." He said holding out his hand to bring her closer until she was in his arms snuggled up against his chest his chin resting in her hair.

"I love you." They were exactly the three words she needed to hear and the tears started to flow.

Martin gently put his fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his.

"And yes…I want you. I'm only human, but Sandy and Romy – they were mistakes. You are not a mistake. You are worth waiting for."

His heart was so full of feeling and passion for her that he was fairly certain it would burst.

He kissed her because he needed to – the feel of her lips under his a salve to the all the pain of not knowing what was going to happen with them healed in that one electric moment.

Before Ruthie realized what was happening Martin had scooped her in his arms and deposited her gently on his bed giving himself room to lie down next to her.

His kisses and his closeness had a way of making time and space stand still for her.

No amount of alcohol could make her feel as heady and disoriented as his beautiful face and body being next to her did.

Kissing Ruthie always managed to shake Martin's core, particularly in moments like this when she had surrendered her vulnerability and just trusted him with her heart.

It was inexplicable to him how he had ever lived without her beside him.

And maybe a little bit scary.

To realize that someone could possess your body and your soul as their own, virtually making standing as an individual an unappealing thought.

He had to give them both credit though, they were getting much better at not crossing the lines that blurred the physical boundaries they had set for themselves.

Not that he didn't still want her with a white hot intensity that singed at his very being – he completely did.

And he had spent more than a few nights having very vivid dreams about just that, but he had also spent an equally amount of restless ones just to keep himself from going there.

He was kissing her at a slow burn in a determined effort to keep either of them from boiling over into the un-chartered territories.

It would just be too easy to lose himself and take her with him if he didn't hold onto at least a minute amount of restraint.

Ruthie recognized Martin pulling back they'd been there enough times now for him to not have to verbalize his intentions.

It was frustrating.

She had no idea what was going on his mind, but in hers she had already crossed over that edge – the one that would make her parents very, very disappointed in their little girl.

Martin was pretty sure he could stay like this forever with her, he loved the feel of her nestled next to him, and the smell of her body was intoxicating and the curves of her body fit so perfect next to his.

He had no doubt in his mind that God had truly created them for each other.

Releasing her from a kiss wasn't as hard knowing she would still be lying there right next to him for the rest of the night – so slowly he did.

"We should probably try and get some sleep." He said reluctantly.

Ruthie spooned in next to his firm body in response, closing her eyes.

As he laid his arm gently on her side and kissed the hollow of her neck to say good night she contentedly sighed.

"Night Ruthie." He whispered lovingly into her ear.

"Night Martin." She responded yawning slightly.

Martin smiled as he closed his eyes.

Their was no question in his mind now that they would always be together – they would work their way around the fights and misunderstandings – they would give their hearts and their bodies to no one else for the rest of their lives.

Knowing that and being so sure about it gave Martin a feeling of completeness.

Romy wondered to herself how she had gotten this lucky as she sat up, knees curled to her chest, watching Mac sleep.

She had fully expected him to flip out after she had told him about Martin but he had instead understood.

It blew her mind. She'd never been with a guy who was so fun loving and just plain loving.

She had to wonder if his last girlfriend hadn't been something of an idiot to have let him go so easily.

Still it nagged at her that they hadn't really "defined" their relationship. Sure they were having earth shattering sex – total given.

But were they more than that?

Did she want more than that?

Romy had spent so much of her time after Derek avoiding real intimacy that it had been almost like a foreign concept to her until Mac had entered her life.

She knew Mac wasn't dating any one else so in that vein they were definitely exclusive, but did she have anything more than his body? Did she have his heart?

Romy knew sooner or later they would have to have that talk – still these were the kinds of conversations that scared her.

It was kind of laughable actually that she had no problem telling Mac about her sexual past with his best friend – but telling him she might actually be falling for him – that was scary.

Suddenly Romy realized that Mac was awake and knew she had been staring at him.

"Everything okay?" It seemed unusual to Mac that after such an energetic romp she wasn't as exhausted as he was.

"Yes. I was just thinking about some things." Romy reassured him.

"Anything you want to share?" Mac asked trying not to appear as drowsy as he felt.

" Not tonight." But soon she thought – really soon.

Taking that as her answer he reached out to pull her closer and Romy willing snuggled in next to him resting her head lightly on his naked chest.

"I'm sorry for waking you." She said in apology.

"I am actually probably one of the world's lightest sleepers." He admitted.

"And I've spent more than my fair share of time watching you while you sleep too." He confessed making her feel flattered.

But in true Romy fashion he didn't need to know that – not yet.

"I don't know if that's creepy or sweet."

"I think it's a little bit of both actually." Mac said lightly laughing before kissing the top of her head.

"Now go to sleep."

"Yes sir." Romy replied happily.

Wes was frantic. It was 2:00 in the morning and Lily still wasn't home from her night out with Olivia.

He felt stupid for encouraging her and Olivia to make up now.

He was happy they had mended fences but lately it seemed like making Olivia happy had become a lot more important to Lily – tonight being a prime example.

He and Lily were planning to stay in to watch a movie and do whatever else followed, which usually meant they ended up in the bedroom tangled bodies, dripping with sweat and exhaustion.

He wanted that – damn he needed that.

But ever since Olivia had reconciled with Lily he hadn't gotten that and he was frustrated.

When Lily had come home from work and told him she was canceling plans cause Olivia needed her he had blown his stack.

He didn't often lose his temper, a total off shoot from the fact that his father always had, but when he did it wasn't pretty.

Not in the physical sense, he didn't have a violent bone in his body, well except maybe that time he had punched Martin, but those were extenuating circumstances.

It was a verbal thing with him – when he was angry he was uncensored. Any thought or problem he had been trying to keep in would come shooting out of his mouth uninvited.

And because of that the altercation between him and Lily had not been pleasant.

"I don't understand why you have to be this way it's one night Wes." Lily said trying to keep a calm tone in her voice.

"It's not one night Lily! It's every night!"

Lily was sure he was exaggerating. "That's ridiculous."

"That's fact. I'm glad that you and Olivia have worked things out – but I have needs too Lily."

"I don't know what you mean. I take care of us." Lily responded.

"Do you?" Wes said cuttingly.

"Yes!" Now she was getting angry, he had no right to act like she'd been slacking around the apartment; she had a job – unlike him.

"Then tell me – when is the last time that you and I slept with each other." He said point blank.

"I don' know – a week maybe." She said really searching her mind now for the answer.

"Try two weeks Lily – 14 days!"

"It has not you are completely exaggerating." Lily scolded him.

"I'm a guy Lily, I think about sex daily – do you really think I wouldn't know how long it's been?" He was annoyed now for many reasons but mostly because he couldn't believe she really hadn't noticed herself the dry spell they had been going through.

When you were used to getting it almost daily 14 days of nothing was an eternity.

In reality she had thrown out the first sucker punch – but he had been spoiling for a fight so he was ready to throw down.

"I'm not a machine Wes and I'm sorry that your daily sex routine has taken a back seat since we became exclusive."

"Don't you mean since you became exclusive with Olivia – because you were performing fine until then." He said spitefully and maybe a little stupidly.

"Performing? You mean like a hooker performs?" Lily spat angrily.

He knew he'd stepped in it big time.

'Lily…" He tried, but it was too late she was already half way to the door.

"Save it Wes…you're pathetic. You probably shouldn't wait up for me because I may be pretty late.

"Come on Lily this is stupid. You know I didn't mean that." But all he'd gotten in response was a closed door.

And now eight hours later he was remorseful and worried.

Picking up his cell phone he speed dialed Lily's number. Praying she would answer almost giving up after five rings.

And instantly wishing he had.

"Hello." An unfamiliar male voice said.

"I'm sorry." Wes started. " I must have the wrong number."

" Whatever." The guy said hanging up on Wes.

Wes looked at his phone the dread in his stomach starting to grow as he realized you couldn't really miss-dial a preprogrammed number – a one touch number that he had reached Lily with a thousand times before.

Not wanting to Wes dialed Olivia's number and it seemed like an eternity before she picked up.

"Hello?" She said groggily.

"Olivia it's me." Wes said swallowing over the lump in his throat now.

"Wes…it's like 3 am." Olivia stated.

"I know. Lily isn't home yet and I figured she was probably with you." He said hopefully.

Olivia was fully awake now – worried.

'She's not home?"

Suddenly Wes knew that everything out of Olivia's mouth after that sentence wasn't going to be something he wanted to hear.

But he needed to know.

"No. Where is she Liv?" Wes said knowing that she knew the answer.

"Wes…" Olivia began trying to be mindful of his feelings, but he cut her off sharply.

"Dammit just tell me Olivia – don't try and cover for her like she did for you."

Olivia wanted to protect her friend but the problem was she had warned her – begged her not to make a mistake. And she had ignored her.

"We went to Winstons where we ran into a guy we knew from prep school…Chuck Marino."

"And…" Wes said growing impatient.

"She left with him." Olivia admitted.

"She left with him?' Wes mimicked feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"And you let her?

"Was she drinking – were you drunk?"

"I mean what kind of an idiot lets her best friend go off with some random guy?" Wes shouted at a tearful Olivia now.

"He's not a bad guy Wes – we were all friends in prep school." She said trying to make it seem better.

"No…he's just the guy sleeping with my girlfriend – that doesn't make him bad at all." Wes said slamming the phone down on Olivia now.

Angrily he pushed the number pre programmed for Lily and waited.

As the same male voice answered he felt his throat drying up.

"Chuck?" he said through gritted teeth.

The guy was obviously a little buzzed.

"Yeah."

' Can I talk to Lily?" Wes said closing his eyes hoping for a no.

"She's asleep. I guess I could wake her up." He said more to himself than Wes.

"Don't bother!" Wes said angrily taking his phone and hurling it against the wall the high tech mobile device shattering into pieces.

"Weird." Chuck said hanging up the phone before snuggling back beside the girl in his bed.

"Who was on the phone?" Chuck's girlfriend Amy asked as she welcomed his warmth next to her drowsy figure.

"Someone for Lily." I was going to go wake her but the line went dead.

"Oh." Amy said neither her or Chuck realizing the significance of that misinterpreted phone call.

It had been a long night for everyone in the apartment as they had stayed up drinking margaritas and reminiscing about their prep school days. It had been cool running into Lily at the bar and she had been more than excited to accompany him back to his apartment to see her friend Amy again.

Olivia had been a little weird about it but then Olivia had always been a little unreadable.

Lily swore she had heard her phone ring but upon realizing she had left it on the nightstand in Amy and Chuck's room she decided to not worry about it.

She hoped Wes wasn't too worried about her but decided it would do him good to worry a little – to realize he couldn't always get what he wanted.

Although she knew he was right – it had been a while since they'd truly been alone together.

And a part of her had wondered if even though Olivia had forgiven her, if deep down maybe she wasn't purposefully keeping her away from spending time with Wes.

When she had told Olivia about her and Wes' fight that night the morsel that Olivia had hung on to was the fact that they hadn't had sex in two weeks.

Not the fact that Wes had practically compared her to a hooker.

It had annoyed her more than a little to think that maybe Olivia's intentions weren't all that honorable and that maybe she was more than a little up in her business where she shouldn't be.

It was the main reason why, when Chuck had invited her back to his place to see her ages old friend Amy, who it turned out was now his girlfriend, she hadn't even tried to make Olivia understand her wild accusations about the leaving to cheat on Wes were so far out of the ball park.

Her and Chuck had even had a good laugh about it on the way to his apartment.

And his advice to her had been to be careful because his recollection of Olivia was that she had kind of "owned" people in prep school – not really had friends.

Lily wasn't sure if that was exactly fair – but somehow it did ring a little true.

His other recollection had been that she always got what she wanted.

Lily hoped that wasn't true because now that Mark was gone – what Olivia wanted could very well be Wes.

Wes who even though he made her crazy had still managed to make her happier than any other guy in her life.

Wes – who loved her and who she loved back.


	32. Chapter 32

Title: "This is an Emergency"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are the property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

It was the wedding she had dreamed of all her life.

The gown occasionally changed as she aged, as did the bridesmaids and who the maid of honor would be.

But one thing had remained constant in her dream since the day she had turned 15 years old – the groom – Martin Brewer.

Martin had entered her life when she was 14 yrs old and by 15 yrs of age she was already head over heels for him.

That was when he had replaced a short-haired Johnny Depp in her wedding dream.

A dream she was now fully immersed in as she snuggled unconsciously closer to Martin's warm sleeping shape.

He pulled her in close with the welcome contact in his semi-conscious state – a part of his sleepy mind realizing he could hold her like that forever.

In the dream she was standing in front of him in off-white, clingy, silken dress that was dream-like in smoothness and beauty.

But even more breath-taking than the dress was him. He stood looking like a male-model with his designer tuxedo, and his hair casually perfected, his teeth gleaming white in a smile he was unable to hide as he took in the sight of her – an undisguised urge to kiss her etch on his beautiful face.

And then he was kissing her.

It took Ruthie a moment to realize that this wonderful, disconnected warmth that was spreading through her body starting at her lips was her urgent reality as Martin's mouth on hers brought her pleasantly out of her dream.

He'd only meant to give her a small kiss because even in the early morning hours she just looked so _"kissable."_

But then she started kissing him back, her soft and willing lips enticing him to continue.

It was probably he realized suddenly the most out of control he'd ever felt around her.

He desperately needed her closer – his desire fast consuming him – weakening his defenses.

Ruthie was fully awake now in a euphoric way – everywhere Martin touched or kissed felt like she was being warmed by the sun, a slow heat radiating through out her body now playing havoc with all her senses.

Total surrender was his – all he to do was ask.

But she knew he wouldn't, that any minute now he would regain his control and back away from her apologizing profusely for losing control.

Until then she thought she would just enjoy herself and stay in the moment as long as she could.

Lost in a haze of lust-filled feelings Martin began to wonder now just exactly how far he could take things without turning that elusive corner and being unwilling to stop himself.

He was definitely testing those limits right now as he kept removing layers of clothing that had previously afforded Ruthie some sense of modesty.

It just never felt wrong – that was the problem.

Or sinful – shouldn't it feel sinful at least?

But it didn't – if was indescribable how impossibly perfect it felt to be with her, to have her body and heart surrendering to his hands and lips.

He knew that the guilt would come later – right now his mind was trying to rationalize.

He was going to marry her, he loved her completely – they were meant to be with each other forever.

And honestly – he wasn't doing anything she didn't want him to.

It would be just too easy to step over that line and remove the final barriers that kept them separated – too easy to become her lover.

To fully possess her body as well as her heart and soul.

It was so tempting.

Ruthie knew a part of her should probably be scared or at the very least feeling guilty as she realized that Martin wasn't stopping the progression of things, even more exciting he wasn't even slowing down.

It jolted her to realize that he was preparing to make love to her – to understand that he was done trying to stop the speeding freight train of passion and love that always erupted between them.

Martin knew that they were about at the moment of truth and he knew what she would say, that she wouldn't refuse him, but he still had to ask – to be certain she realized what they were about to do.

"Ruthie." Martin said looking into her eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

It was a simple answer – of course it was "yes."

But it was immediately drowned out by the insistent banging on his bed room door.

"Martin open up man it's an emergency!' Mac bellowed.

"No…never mind opening up just get your butts out of the bedroom pronto!" Mac said the urgency in his voice obvious.

Something was definitely wrong.

Martin inwardly cursed – he wasn't big on the four letter words but he was pissed, at himself, at the situation, at whatever emergency Mac had invented in his mind.

"I guess that's our wake-up call." Martin said seeing the situation unfolding before them in less of a haze now.

"This was not wrong Martin." Ruthie said urgently as she reluctantly got up and started to get dressed.

'There are both biblical as well as legal reasons that one could use to contest you on that." Martin reminded her.

Mac pounded on the door.

"Seriously! I had maybe a fifteen minute head start…" Mac said ominously.

Fully dressed now Martin opened the door to find out what had Mac so worked up.

"Fifteen minute head start on what?" Martin asked his answer the ringing of their front door bell.

Curious Martin looked at Mac and put his arm around Ruthie's waist.

Assessing the situation Mac took Ruthie's hand and pulled her over to the couch plopping her down.

"You sit there. Martin you take the chair." Mac ordered as he headed to open the door now.

Confused Martin took a seat in the chair.

"Oh this is bad." Mac grumbled to himself as he opened the apartment door.

"Sandy…Mrs. Camden." Mac greeted with his trademark grin.

Ruthie's face turned ashen. "Mom?"

Annie Camden was clearly angry and uncomfortable now. "We wanted to surprise you. Sandy and I came down to do the bridal bazaar – we were going to invite you to come along." She was clearly rambling now her disappointment fueling her speech.

"Sure…I'd love to go." Ruthie said trying to appease her mother.

"I – I think maybe it's better if you and I don't talk just yet." Annie said turning now to leave.

"If you didn't want to talk to me why did you come here?" Ruthie asked hurt by her mother's rebuff.

"Because I hoped what I was thinking was wrong." Annie admitted.

"This isn't what it looks like." Ruthie promised the lie sounding false even to her own ears.

"It looks like you spent the night with Martin in his apartment." Annie said summing up the situation now.

"Okay – I did. But not for the reasons you think." Ruthie started to explain.

Her mom however wasn't ready to listen. "It doesn't matter why you did it, or what happened while you were here young lady – you're father and I will not pay for you to live in San Diego so that you can play at being an adult with Martin.

"Mom…"

"No Ruthie! End of discussion. You were raised better than this!" Her mother ranted.

Ruthie had no more time to defend herself as her mom stalked out the door leaving everyone dumbstruck.

"I'm so sorry." Sandy said apologetic as she headed out after her.

As soon as the door shut Mac turned to Martin.

"Well that was…awkward.

"How did this happen?" Martin said looking directly at Mac for an explanation now.

"They stopped by Ruthie's – Romy tried to lie about where Ruthie was but Mrs. Camden – well she's quick and she asked to see our place. I didn't know how to get out of it so I gave her the address and broke several speed laws to get here as fast as I could." Mac said summing up the morning in a nutshell.

"This is a nightmare." Martin heavily sighed.

"She'll be fine. I'll talk to her." Ruthie promised.

"Thanksgiving should be fun." Mac said prophetically.

"Thanks for bringing that painful thought to our attention." Martin said sarcastically.

"I should go find her and get this straightened out." Ruthie said slipping her feet back into her shoes before heading to the door." 

Martin followed her to the door and stepped outside in the hall with her.

"I realize we have a far more immediate problem – but we are going to need to talk about what almost happened this morning." Martin reminded her.

"You say that like it was a bad thing." Ruthie said surprised.

"Isn't it?"

"No! And I'm tired of people making me feel like it is." It was all nonsense to Ruthie now how terribly wrong people had made her feel about the whole sex issue.

She loved Martin and if she wanted to make love to him – that was nobody's business but theirs.

"Just in case – maybe we should prepare for the worst." Martin offered.

"You're over-thinking this. I'll talk to my mom, smooth things over and we'll be back in her good graces by Thanksgiving." Ruthie promised.

"And you're under-thinking it. She thinks we're sleeping together and technically if Mac had pounded on that door like even ten minutes later we would have been. Ruthie this morning – was too close."

"Regardless. I'm almost 18 years old." Ruthie stated.

"I should probably try and remember that" Martin said more to himself than to her. It's illegal as well as immoral in your parent's eyes Ruthie."

"It won't be illegal in seven days – I can wait seven days." Ruthie told him.

"You're parents will always be a bigger obstacle than the law. I've already done time behind bars. I've never had your parents hate me." Martin relented.

"They could never hate you – you're like a son to them." Ruthie said reminding him of the truth.

"I think you're way more optimistic than you should be." Martin said before quickly giving her a good-bye kiss.

'Well see. I'll call you later." She said hugging him now and lightly kissing him one last time.

Lily thanked Chuck as he dropped her off in front of her and Wes' apartment building. She knew she would have some explaining to do, staying out all night like she had.

Still the sight of her packed suitcases right as she entered the front door threw her for a loop.

"What's going on?" Lily said taking in Wes' angry stance at the kitchen counter.

"You're leaving – I want you out!"

"Why?" Lily said feeling blind-sided by this turn of events.

Was he really that angry that she stayed out all night?

She'd expected concern for her safety – but kicking her out had never even crossed the realm of possibility for her.

"Because I won't be made a fool of again – you made your choice last night, so now I've made mine." Wes said signaling towards the luggage.

"You can get the rest of your things later – preferably when I'm not here." Wes added.

"You're breaking up with me?" Lily said on the verge of tears now.

She had completely over played her hand yesterday in trying to prove her point to him.

"Looks that way." Wes said bitterly as he headed into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

It was like déjà vu for Lily – she got attached – they bailed. It was a pattern she was doomed to repeat for the rest of her life.

The thing that bothered Lily the most though was that this break-up seemed so random.

With Adam and Martin there had been another girl both times, but she knew with Wes there wasn't.

She knew she'd probably have to give up eventually, but this time she wasn't going down without a fight.

Wes loved her.

Resolute in her conviction Lily walked over to the bedroom door and opened it to find Wes laying down on the bed his arm shading his face from the world.

She didn't wait for him to acknowledge her she just jumped right in.

"Okay I know I was kind of a shrew last night and that I shouldn't have chosen Olivia over you." Lily began but Wes quickly cut her off.

"I don't want to do this with you Lily." Wes said sitting up on the bed now to look at her.

"I deserve a chance to defend myself Wes." She was on the verge of tears but she held them back not willing to let him see her cry.

"It wouldn't help. Because I don't care why you did it – to teach me a lesson or whatever – I care _that_ you did it." He admitted

"I know it was stupid and childish – but it was harmless." Lily reasoned.

"Harmless?" Wes was confused now. "How can cheating on me be harmless, particularly when you know what I went through with Olivia?"

Now it was Lily's turn to be floored.

"Cheat on you? Who told you that I cheated on you?" Lily questioned thinking back to her exit of the bar the prior night and how she had let Olivia think she was leaving with Chuck for other reasons."

"It doesn't matter." Wes said keeping his source a secret.

But Lily wasn't nearly as concerned with that. "Was it Olivia?"

"Why does it matter who it was – cheating is cheating regardless of how I found out." Wes pointed out.

"I didn't cheat on you." Lily said trying to clear up the misunderstanding that Olivia had fueled. "I wouldn't."

"So you're denying that you left "Winstons" last night with some guy and that when I called your phone and he picked up you weren't right there next to him?" Wes questioned still unwilling to believe her.

It all made sense now to Lily how Wes had gotten the wrong impression, but it hurt her a lot to know that he had such little faith in her.

'I'm going to explain everything to you because I can see that's what you need – but I'm truly disappointed that you would really believe I would ever do anything even remotely close to what you're accusing me of. "Lily told him.

Wes listened closely as Lily sat down on the bed and recounted the entire night to him feeling just a little stupider with each passing sentence.

He couldn't believe that Olivia had gotten it so horribly wrong.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could think of to say as Lily came to a close with her explanation.

"Me too." Lily said starting off the bed only to have him grab on to her arm and pull her lightly back down.

"I'm an idiot Lil…I just – I've been there before when the explanation wasn't quite so simple. Trust is a really hard thing for me." Wes admitted more than a little ashamed of himself now.

"I know – but I have too – more than once. If we don't trust each other don't you think that maybe the pattern is doomed to repeat itself?" Lily countered.

"Am I forgiven?" Wes said giving her his best little boy face.

"Forgiven, and I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have walked out last night and it's the last time. I'm sorry I made you feel unimportant."

"Forgiven." Wes said taking her face in between his hands and kissing her, deeply and sensually giving her mere moments to respond before her was kissing the side of her neck and sending her mind spiraling towards one goal with him of fulfilling their wanton need to be with each other.

"I've missed you." Wes whispered in a low, throaty tone into her ear sending warm chills throughout her body as he lay her down on the bed and continued his assault on he senses.

Ruthie thought it would probably be nearly impossible to find her mother at the bridal bizarre show, so she was pleasantly surprised when she spotted Sandy and her mom at one of the bakery booths sampling wedding cake.

Quickly she hurried over to her.

"Mom" Ruthie said grabbing on quickly to her mother's arm.

Annie turned but the look of disappointment was still there.

"I thought I said we'd talk later." Annie reminded her.

"I was hoping I could change your mind." Ruthie admitted. 'I think the longer we don't talk about this the worse it will be."

"I'm sorry but "no" – I'm here with Sandy right now our problems will have to wait."

"No. It's okay." Sandy said looking at Ruthie and Mrs. Camden. "I think you two should talk. You can just call me on my cell when you're done and we'll meet back up." She offered.

"Okay….I guess if you're okay with me leaving for a little while. I just need to make a quick call" Annie told her walking away from them and opening up her phone.

"Thank you." Ruthie said sincerely.

"I'm not a bad person once you get to know me – you'll see." Sandy said smiling now at Ruthie before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially.

"I wish my mom had been there when I was in the same place as you are." Sandy admitted

"I'm not doing anything." Ruthie whispered back adamant.

" I'm not judging Ruthie – I'm just saying…talk to your mom about the step you're about to make before you make it – you might only have half the picture."

"I have the whole picture." Suddenly Sandy was too in her business and it bothered Ruthie.

"You have a hot guy who wants to have sex with you – that's only half the picture – the dangerous half." Sandy advised even though Ruthie wished she wouldn't.

Ruthie wanted to respond to that and tell her that Martin loved her and would never let anything happen to her but she didn't have enough time.

"If we're going to do this Ruthie – let's do it." Annie said walking back over to her and Sandy.

Ruthie knew that Sandy had probably meant well but she still thought it was a little self-righteous of her to be handing out caution advice when she had Aaron – her out of wedlock baby.

And unlike Sandy, Ruthie was planning on making sure all necessary precautions were being taken.

For the most part she planned on keeping things in their natural order – she couldn't help it if somehow sex had leapfrogged right over marriage.

Right now though her most pressing issue was mending fences with her mother so all the other stuff she would have to deal with later.


	33. Chapter 33

Title: "Life Changes"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in my story they are property of the CW Network and the show 7th Heaven.

Sitting across from her mother in the small diner Ruthie wished the words would come to her – the ones needed to rectify her current situation and put her back in her mother's good graces, but unfortunately the well of explanation seemed to have run dry.

Annie Camden sat across from her youngest daughter watching the war of emotions cross her face. It was hard looking at her now not to see that she had become a young woman – although in Annie's heart and mind she would always be her baby girl.

"I'm disappointed in you Ruthie." Annie finally spoke.

Ruthie felt a small sense of relief – at least she was talking to her, the silence has seemed much more damaging.

"I know." Ruthie relented.

"I know we raised you better than this." Annie added for good measure.

"This has nothing to do with how you and dad raised me mom. This is me – making my own choices –being able to make my own mistakes." Ruthie tried reasoning with her mother.

"If you know it's a mistake then why Ruthie – why would you do it?" Annie pleaded.

"Because I'm not convinced it is and…I love him." Ruthie said simply as if that was all the explanation it would require.

"You are so off base here young lady – loving someone and giving your body to them are completely different issues." Annie reprimanded.

Ruthie didn't know if it would be better to tell her mother the truth – that she and Martin hadn't slept together or let her go on believing they had and just get the drama over with, knowing she now had no intention of saving herself for marriage.

She decided she needed a little more information before making that very important decision.

"Why is it different?" Ruthie quizzed.

"It just is Ruthie." Annie said her frustration showing now.

"That's not good enough anymore Mom – I need a real reason why saving yourself for marriage is the only option. " Ruthie admitted.

It was a sentence that calmed Annie down a little with the realization that Ruthie was telling her without actually admitting it that she and Martin hadn't yet crossed that line and that this little chat was probably her mother's last chance at keeping that a reality.

"Okay how about unplanned pregnancy –Do you really want to be the next Sandy for him?" Annie said grasping at straws and knowing she was risking Ruthie's temper.

And she was right Ruthie was livid now.

"Aaron is not Martin's kid!" Ruthie blasted back.

"You're missing the point – Martin could very easily have been the one in Simon's place right now and he almost lost everything he cared about because of the foolish decision he made not to wait.

It had been such a tough time for Ruthie when she thought Martin was Aaron's father and she was losing him for good. But this was different, wasn't it? She certainly wasn't ready to be a mother but if it happened she'd be more than okay with it being Martin who had fathered her child – at least she thought she would.

"What about taking precautions?" Ruthie questioned causing her mother's face to pale two shades till she looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"Precautions…are we really having this conversation Ruthie?" Annie said not above begging her daughter to see the light of the truth.

"I'm just trying to be honest with you mom. I'm not like Mary or Lucy – I don't want to wait to be with Martin until we get married." Ruthie admitted.

"Has Martin proposed to you?" Annie said shocked.

It almost seemed like a whole different can of worms to think about Ruthie getting married before she'd even finished college.

"No – but he does want to marry me when the time is right." Ruthie informed her mother.

"Is he pressuring you Ruthie?" Annie asked grasping at any hope that this wasn't all her rebellious daughter's doing.

"Mom…no. If anything he's the one who keeps putting the brakes on things."

"Which would be the right thing here – Ruthie doesn't it tell you something, like maybe Martin knows this is a bad idea?" Annie reasoned with her.

"Okay mom here's the bottom line – I haven't slept with Martin, but I can't promise that I won't." Ruthie stated as if she had the only say.

Bad move. It was a well documented fact that Ruthie got her stubbornness from her mom.

"If that's your final say in the matter – then here's mine and I'm sure your father will agree. You are coming back to Glen Oak, no more San Diego State. If we can't trust you to act responsibly then we will no longer pay for you to act irresponsibly." Annie said vehemently.

Ruthie was floored. "Mom – you don't mean that!" Ruthie said hopeless knowing that indeed she did.

The only saving grace was that obviously her father didn't know yet.

There was still time to turn things around.

"I'm sorry Ruthie but you're not even 18 years old yet. You're obviously too young to handle living away from home just yet.

Ruthie knew she could defy her mother and sleep with Martin anyway, but she couldn't do anything about living away from home – her parent's money was paying for both her college education and her living arrangements. Without their support Glen Oak community college was her only option.

"Please don't do this mom – I love it here." Ruthie pleaded hoping to strike a motherly cord.

"I want you to be happy Ruthie but I also want you to be safe. You're not safe here – too much temptation."

"There's temptation everywhere mom. I could just have easily chosen this path back in Glen Oak with Ian. You can't keep sending me away when you get scared of the choices I might make." Ruthie was on the verge of tears now the thought of being forced to move back home and away from Martin too much to bear.

"My decision is made Ruthie." Her mother said with finality.

"Then mine is too." Ruthie said a lot braver than she actually felt. She knew giving her mother an ultimatum had every potential to backfire in her face.

"I'm not going back to Glen Oak – this is my home now. I'll quit college, find a job and live with Martin." Ruthie said summing up her plan to her very surprised mother.

A plan she knew Martin would in no way agree with – she was pinning her hopes on the fact that her mother didn't know that though.

Annie knew that Ruthie wasn't bluffing – she was a strong willed individual and if she felt backed into a corner she would fight back.

She was fighting back now. Ruthie knew the last thing her mother wanted was for her to live with Martin and quit college.

"If you're trying to get me on your side – this is not the way to do it." Annie said making it clear she didn't' like threats no matter how valid they were.

"I love you mom but this is my life and you have to let me make my own choices whether they turn out to be mistakes or not. I don't need to be protected from Martin." Ruthie promised her.

Annie knew this really was a situation out of her control. In a mere seven days Ruthie would be 18 years old and legally an adult – able to live with and be with whomever she wanted.

Whatever morals and values they had wanted to instill in her had to already be ingrained – their time was up to be parents to her in that sense.

"I love Martin like a son Ruthie but I can't and won't support you having a physical relationship with him. Just think about waiting….please." Annie said backing down now not wanting to entirely alienate her youngest daughter while she was still on the cusp of making an irredeemable mistake.

"Are you going to tell dad?" Ruthie asked.

"Yes – I tell your father everything. We have no secrets." Annie informed her.

"Then could you at least wait until after the holidays so Martin isn't uncomfortable being around him?" Ruthie requested hopefully.

Annie knew keeping secrets from her husband Eric wasn't a wise decision but she couldn't help but think maybe Ruthie had a point this time. If she told Eric now Thanksgiving was just a few short days away and then after that Christmas was right around the corner.

She decided she could use this as her bargaining tool.

"I'll do that for you if you do me the same kind of courtesy and really think about this decision you are about to make before you take the next step." Annie offered as a temporary solution to both of their problems.

Ruthie reluctantly agreed but only because she knew that Martin was on the fence again and would probably not allow anything to happen until after her 18th birthday anyway.

If it appeased her mother to think she was giving this more consideration for her benefit, then so be it.

"Deal." Ruthie said knowing even then it was giving her mother false hope.

Realizing nothing else would be solved today Ruthie quickly paid the check and took her keys out of her purse.

"I should get you back to Sandy, but thank you mom for agreeing to wait- I don't want this to mess up Thanksgiving.

"I'd like to remind you young lady that we've both agreed to _wait_. She said putting heavy emphasis on the last word as if she could will it to be so just by wanting it bad enough.

Ruthie inwardly sighed even though she wouldn't admit it out loud – she needed her mother not to judge her and to get past whatever her decision was, just like she had with Simon.

She was thankful it was just a short ride on the freeway back to the Bridal Bazar because every look her mother was giving her now was having it's intended effect and increasing her feelings of guilt.

As Martin entered his apartment, having arrived there from his last class of the day, he checked his watch – it was getting late.

He could only believe at this point that Ruthie had been unsuccessful in her attempts to smooth things over with her mother.

Mac was right – Thanksgiving was not going to be pretty.

It was hard at this point for Martin not to think about what had almost happened with Ruthie this morning.

He had given up on fighting his attraction to her and had reconciled in his mind his desire to follow things all the way through.

And once again his passionate nature had landed him in hot water. He loved Ruthie but he knew that he was playing with fire and breaking all the rules on almost a daily basis now.

He could have kept mentally beating himself up all day if his phone hadn't rung saving him for the moment. Seeing Sandy's number on the phone he quickly picked up.

"Hey Sandy" Martin spoke into the phone.

"Martin…" Sandy choked on just the one word unable to continue, her sobs heavy and her murmured words indistinguishable.

"Sandy?" Martin said concerned now. "What is it…are you okay?"

Still met with nothing but uncontrollable sobs Martin was beginning to get a little bit frustrated and then it happened all at once the officer came on the line and Mac entered the apartment with a look of despair his arm wrapped around a sobbing Romy.

The officer had taken the phone from Sandy and began to fill him in as Mac had uttered those horrible words…."Man…its Ruthie."

Martin's world had come crashing down as the officer on the phone had recounted the accident between Ruthie's car and a semi trailer and how it had slammed into the back of them as they had sat waiting in a line on the freeway.

It seemed like it had taken forever for Mac to get them to the hospital as every breath Martin had taken had seemed to take a lot more effort as if he'd just run a marathon.

And then the wait for her to get out of emergency surgery…everything around him had stayed in that same annoying haze, unable to focus or think until he had finally been allowed to see her in the ICU.

It seemed a blur now to Martin as he sat in the hospital room by Ruthie's bed, all the tubes and wires so daunting.

Aside from the cuts, bruises and bandages, she just looked like she was sleeping – not fighting for her very life.

"Ruthie…I love you." Martin said as he held her cold hand to his warm cheek as if he could will the spark of health and life back into her.

The doctor has said the prognosis was not good because of the bleeding in her brain – but Martin would never believe that.

It was so easy to see the things he had been forgetting in his life when faced with losing the thing most precious to him – his future with Ruthie.

Silently Martin bowed his head and prayed.

" Lord…I'm not here to barter or beg for a life I know you value as much as I do – but please if you could just give us another chance I promise you I'll be stronger than I have in the past…I'll turn from temptation. I love her God and I know that you know that…please don't take her away from me. Please…"

Rev. Camden watched from the door until Martin finally opened his eyes before stepping into the room with him.

His eyes were red-rimmed and the sorrow was etched on his face.

"How are you doing son?" Eric asked as he came and stood beside the chair Martin was sitting in.

Looking up Martin saw the same red rimmed eyes and sorrow of his face mirrored in Rev. Camden's.

It had been a rough night for all.

"I'm okay. How is Mrs. Camden doing?" Martin asked concerned that Eric was there with bad news.

"The same – not good, but we've got the whole church in a prayer circle for her and Ruthie – I believe in miracles." Eric finished.

Martin needed to hear that, to feel the reverend's unswerving faith – it brought a sense of calm to his disturbed soul.

"I do too." Martin added before turning his attention once again to Ruthie.

Miracles happened every day all over the world it wasn't a stretch to believe that one could find its way to them.

"You should go get something to eat. I'll stay with Ruthie." Eric offered.

Martin didn't want to leave but he sensed the need Rev. Camden had to sit with his youngest daughter so he relented.

"If she wakes up while I'm gone – tell her I'll be right back." Martin requested as he headed to the door.

"I will." Eric said as he slowly took the seat Martin had just vacated and picked up the hand he had warmed with his and silently bowed his head to pray now.

He did believe in miracles and his faith was strong but he wasn't above begging for the lives of his wife and his baby daughter to be spared. Ruthie still had so much life left to live and so many things yet to experience.

He wanted Ruthie to be a wife and a mom and a grandmother, to explore the world and not to have her life end with so much unfinished.

And even though Annie had experienced so much more than Ruthie, she was still a very integral and necessary part of the Camden family, without her there Eric wasn't sure how strong his faith would remain and he knew the same applied to Martin and his love for Ruthie.

Rev. Camden knew losing Ruthie would destroy and change Martin's life and possibly turn him off of his religious pursuit's altogether.

Martin has surmounted many obstacles this year and his faith in a higher purpose had already been sorely tested – another blow, particularly one of this magnitude could change who Martin turned out to be.

As if she could read her father's thoughts Ruthie slowly moved her hand in his and Eric instantly looked up and smiled.

Unlike Annie, Ruthie had been in and out of consciousness since her surgery and it was good sign to see her awake again.

"Dad?" Ruthie said trying desperately to remain focused on his face.

"It's me Ruthie…I'm right here." Her father promised.

"Dad my head hurts really bad." Ruthie said groggy still from the pain medication.

"I know sweetie – it probably will for a while, but the doctors are working on it." He promised her.

It was hard not to be confused but slowly it began to piece itself together as Ruthie realized where she was – in the hospital.

Instantly she remembered the screeching of tires behind her car and the awful sound of crunching metal and glass before everything had gone black – she didn't remember feeling any pain then but she certainly did now.

Her head felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to it and she needed it to stop.

But suddenly the fear overrode the pain.

"Mom…is mom alright?" Ruthie questioned desperately.

Eric looked into his daughters eyes and inwardly sighed. He wanted to be honest with her but the doctors thought it was better if she wasn't faced with any other worries than taking care of herself right then – so he lied.

"She's fine." He didn't elaborate because he knew that would eventually trip him up.

"Oh good." She said the relief evident on her face.

"And Martin is here – I just sent him to get something to eat." Her dad offered hoping to change the subject.

It was with that thought in her mind that she once again slipped back into a deep, impenetrable cave of sleep – her brain needing the time to heal.

The moments of coherency were becoming shorter and shorter he had hoped she would at least hold on until Martin got back – but as it turned out Martin was about five minutes too late as he arrived back in the room, two coffees in hand and knew by the look on her father's face that he had missed her being awake.

He vowed silently to himself right then to not leave the room again until she left it with him.


	34. Chapter 34

Title: "Let Me In"

Author: Juana

Author's note: I had to make some very tough decisions regarding the direction of the story. I know not everyone will be happy and I understand. Hopefully you will still enjoy the story though.

Slowly Martin turned and headed up the walk way of his father's house. He had come back to Glen Oak to celebrate Thanksgiving with his father since circumstances had kept him away the previous year.

But one look at the Camden home on his way in was all it took to crumble his resolve to not try and right everything that had gone wrong in the previous year with his life.

It had been a while since he'd been in the same place as Ruthie, six months to be exact, but tomorrow he would be.

Tomorrow morning at 10am he would be sitting in the Glen Oak Community Church at a memorial/ remembrance service for Mrs. Camden.

And immediately after he would follow the others back to the Camden house for a day of family remembrance and sharing of Thanksgiving dinner.

Martin couldn't believe that it had been almost a full year since they had lost her. It was one of the saddest moments in his life having to say good bye to a woman who had for all intents and purposes been like a mother to him.

And it had been a downward spiral for him and Ruthie from that point on. A spiral he had tried numerous times to recover from but in the end had been unable to.

When he gotten the phone call from Reverend Camden about the memorial and dinner his first instinct had been to say "no."

Mostly because he knew it would already be a painful time for Ruthie and he didn't want to upset her anymore than was necessary – in the end though Reverend Camden had convinced him that Annie would have wanted him there both for her and for Ruthie…so he had relented.

Now as he stood knocking on the door of his father's house though the doubts began to creep in again.

Doubts that probably would have continued to eat him up again if not for the welcoming face at the open door now.

"Anna?" Martin said the shock on his face evident.

Anna smiled as she opened the screen door of her Uncle Beau's house and flung herself into her cousin's arms for a huge hug.

The last time Martin has seen Anna they had both been 12yrs old and the best of pals, but time and distance had changed a lot of things for them pretty quickly after Martin's mom had died and he had gone to live with his Aunt Betsy.

"Well you did an excellent job in the growing up department Stinky." Anna said using the pet name she had given him years ago.

"Thanks. Not too bad yourself Tink." Martin said smiling as he used her pet name too.

He had named her that because she was always buzzing around him like Tinker bell had to Peter in Peter Pan – Anna's all time favorite movie.

She had named him Stinky because he was always playing sports and so he was always sweaty. Still no one else could have gotten away with calling him that but her.

"It's really great to see you, I didn't know you were going to be here. " Martin admitted.

"Last minute change of plans, I was supposed to be with Brandon, my fiancé, but we had a kind of wicked fight right before we were scheduled to leave so I packed up my car and came here." Anna admitted somewhat sadly.

"Sorry to hear that." Martin said sympathizing knowing the pain of fighting and leaving all too well.

"I'll live and well make up eventually we always do. Besides it might do us some good to take a little break from each other." Anna said confidently.

Martin just gave her a semi smile wishing in his mind that it was always just that easy.

But it wasn't and it certainly hadn't been for him and Ruthie.

Martin grabbed his bag off the ground and put his arm around Anna's shoulder before ushering her inside refusing in that moment to give into the memories.

Unfortunately for Ruthie as she rode in the car beside Mac, memories were all she had right now and she couldn't shut them off.

She had been surprised when Mac had shown up at her door to offer her a ride back to Glen Oak but she had readily accepted knowing she didn't want to drive back alone, which she would have been doing since Romy and Mac were not on speaking terms at the moment and Romy had decided not to be a part of the Camden Thanksgiving.

Purposefully Mac glanced over at Ruthie; she had been completely silent the entire car ride and he had no idea how to open her up.

No one really did anymore. Since her mother's death Ruthie had become almost like a hermit, only leaving the apartment to attend classes and more recently to hang out with him.

Mac was really the only friend Ruthie had left.

And it was driving Romy mad how much time Mac and Ruthie were spending together and it was huge part of why he and Romy were not speaking. Mac felt that Ruthie really needed people to be there for her now and Romy could not have shut her self off further.

She'd told Mac that she didn't handle grieving people well and now after their last fight he finally believed her and it disappointed him.

On the day Martin had regretfully turned his back on Ruthie for good he had made Mac promise to look after her, and Mac had done everything he could to keep that promise.

But still she hadn't fared well – she was still beautiful in her own way but there was a haunted and sad look in her eyes that overshadowed everything and her weight had plummeted to under a hundred pounds Mac guessed just by eyeballing her.

He knew she was thinking about the inevitable meeting with Martin again and he wished he could get her to talk about it. Determined he decided to try again to get her talking.

"So…are you worried about this weekend at all?" Mac quizzed.

Slowly Ruthie turned her head to face him. "Yes…of course."

She really appreciated how much Mac had been there for her lately but she couldn't help feeling that he was doing it more as a favor to Martin then a real desire to.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mac prompted.

"Maybe." Ruthie countered tired of the subtle questions.

"Okay…are you worried about seeing Martin?" Mac said bluntly now.

There it was the $10,000,000 question. It was the very same question that had been keeping her up since her father had called her and asked for permission to invite Martin and his father to the memorial and dinner.

She had wanted to tell him not to – to just keep it family. But the truth was that Martin was and would always be family and that her mom would have wanted him there.

So instead she had squeaked out a yes…sure…not a problem. It was a big and bold lie but she could tell it made her father happy.

"I'm terrified of seeing Martin again." Ruthie admitted much to Mac's surprise.

"I don't think you need to be terrified." Mac countered.

"I can't help it…I am. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong things or even worse something hurtful." Ruthie admitted.

"Lets face it Ruthie…it's been long enough, it's time for you and Martin to be friends again." Mac said wisely.

"You mean like you and Margaret are friends?" Ruthie said getting in a dig.

"That is not even the same. Margaret was not the love of my life and besides she's engaged now. What do we really have to talk about?" Mac asked truthfully.

When Ruthie didn't answer Mac continued on.

"Martin is the love of your life, and neither one of you have come anywhere close to moving on." Mac reminded her in a not so subtle manner.

Ruthie knew that Mac was right on all counts, but six months of not talking to Martin had made her feel very disconnected from him.

She thought he probably had a better handle on what was going on in her life thanks to Mac – but she had never talked to Mac about him until today so how he had been living his life away from her was a mystery.

She could imagine that he was probably seeing someone. He was too charming and good looking not to be – but a part of her still hoped that he wasn't.

And now with Mac's statement that neither one of them had moved on she felt a small sigh of relief escape her which made the idea of seeing him again a little less daunting.

And just in time too as her home came into sight and without warning the tears began to fall.

Mac pulled his car up to the curb in front of the house and pulled her into his arms to let her sob.

"It's going to be okay Ruthie…I have a feeling this weekend is going to be very healing for both you and Martin.

From across the street Martin watched as Mac held Ruthie in his arms – a tinge of jealousy striking him.

Not because he feared something was going on with Mac and Ruthie, he knew that wasn't the case, but because he wanted to be Mac right now – holding her, comforting her.

Silently Anna came up beside Martin to see what he was looking at.

"Who's that?" Anna asked.

Martin turned at the sound of Anna's voice, startled. "It's Ruthie and Mac."

Even though Martin hadn't opened up to her Anna knew from her Uncle Beau the saga of Martin and Ruthie and what had happened with Ruthie's mother.

He had wanted to make sure she was comfortable with all of what Thanksgiving would entail tomorrow before he had called the Reverend Camden to ask permission to bring her along.

"Are she and Mac…dating?" Anna asked hesitantly having witnessed their closeness in the car.

"No…they're just good friends." Martin said before turning to walk back towards his father's house.

The truth was that it hurt to see Ruthie clinging on to Mac as she sobbed uncontrollably – he needed to get away.

Already their seemed to be so much tension surrounding the upcoming Thanksgiving and things were no different at the Kinkirk household.

Out of all the Camden children Lucy was the one who had ill feelings towards Ruthie and her involvement in the accident that had taken their mother's life.

And it was wearing Kevin down to see her so bitter towards her sibling.

"I'm pretty sure we can find a way around going tomorrow. I'll just say Noah isn't feeling good and it was too late to get a babysitter." Lucy plotted out loud.

That was it – Kevin had heard everything he was going to, he had been putting up with this for far too long.

"No." I'm not letting this go on any longer Lucy and I'm certainly not going to let you drag our son into your lying.

"Fine then you can go without me…because I'm not going!" Lucy said stubbornly.

"Yes…you are. It's time for you to make things right with Ruthie. "Kevin stated just as stubbornly.

"By forgiving her? Forget it!" Lucy said starting up from the kitchen table now, but Kevin reached out for her arm, pulling her back down.

"Sit. This discussion is not over. You have turned your back on Ruthie for the last time." Kevin stated his temper mounting now.

"I don't understand any of you!" Lucy croaked on the verge of tears now.

"She killed our mother and you're all just content to let that slide like it was no big deal." Lucy was crying now as the memories washed over her.

"She didn't do anything. She and your mother were in the wrong place at the wrong time." Kevin reminded Lucy.

"I know my little sister Kevin and she's hiding something about that day – something she doesn't want any of us to know." Lucy said accusingly.

"Then we don't need to know. Put yourself in Ruthie's shoes Lucy…she didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to your mom and people lied to her for weeks afterwards telling her that Annie was fine, on top of that she probably does have tremendous guilt about everything."

"Good." Lucy said spitefully and for the first time ever Kevin had to dig deep not to just shake some sense into her.

"You do not mean that. Where is your compassion?" Kevin asked saddened by her attitude.

"I lost my mother Kevin the last thing I'm going to do is dole out compassion to the person who caused that to happen."

"You are not the only one who lost her…everyone did…Ruthie included. " Kevin said angry at his wife now.

"You act like I think this is all about me." Lucy said defensively.

"I didn't say that…but it disturbs me that you think your loss is any greater, when in reality Ruthie is the one who has suffered the most here – she's lost everything."

For a split second Lucy did feel a pang of unfamiliar compassion surface regarding her sister. Kevin was right, she had been with her mom for her last moments while Ruthie had lain fighting for her life, and she still had Kevin and her family to be there for her.

Ruthie no longer had Martin – he had walked out of her life albeit reluctantly.

Ashamed Lucy began to cry.

Relief flooded Kevin that Lucy was finally showing something other than anger and resentment towards her sister.

"She needs you to tell her it's not her fault Lucy – everyone but you has already done that. This is your chance to help your sister to heal." Kevin suggested hopefully.

"I've been so mean to her." Lucy said remembering all the mean things she had said to her sister in anger and pain.

"No one has been harder on her than she's been on herself. But you alone have the power to fix that. She needs you to be on her side." Kevin told his wife as her pulled her into a comforting hug.

Mac wiped the slowly residing tears from underneath Ruthie's eyes and she gave him a small smile of thanks.

"I must look a mess." She realized.

"You've looked better." Mac said honest to a fault.

"But we'll get you inside and you can wash your face and you'll be as good as new." He said trying to reprieve himself now.

"It's weird being back here." Ruthie said wistfully.

Martin at that very moment sat in his bedroom at his dad's house thinking the same thing.

After her month long stay in the hospital Martin had been the one to offer to care for her during her recovery, but while her body had healed her emotional state never had.

The first blow had been finding out that everyone, including Martin, had been lying to her about her mother's condition.

While Ruthie had languished in the hospital fighting enormous pain and a feeling of disconnect and helplessness her mother had passed away peacefully less than a week after they had been admitted.

And no one had told Ruthie or given her the opportunity to say goodbye. Unable to lash out at her father who was grieving she had instead lashed out at Martin.

"I will never forgive you for this!"

"Ruthie…I was just doing what the doctor thought was best." Martin stated trying to reach her as he felt her distancing herself from him.

"She's my mother…and I didn't get to say goodbye to her. How is that for the best?" Ruthie complained.

"Maybe in hindsight it wasn't. But at the time Ruthie the doctor didn't think you could handle it. I didn't want to lose you…you were so fragile." Martin sighed wishing if anything that he could turn back time.

Make everything go away that was causing Ruthie pain. Because he had realized in the days he'd spent next to Ruthie in that hospital just exactly how precious time was.

"I didn't ask you to protect me!" Ruthie said bitterly.

"Maybe because you couldn't!" Martin shot back.

He regretted the outburst as soon as he had said it but it was out there now and he couldn't' pull it back.

So he tried to soften the blow. "I love you Ruthie if I made a mistake by not telling you the truth – then all I can say is…I'm sorry."

"Would you do it again?" Ruthie quickly questioned him.

He didn't want to lie to her but would the truth really help?

"Yes. I would do it again if it meant keeping you safe." Martin admitted.

"Then we have nothing else to say to each other." Ruthie said an air of finality in her tone as she got up from the living room and went into her bedroom shutting the door.

Martin remembered that he had sat in the front living room of her apartment for over four hours waiting for her to come back out but she never did and he had left with the sound of her heart wrenching sobs ringing in his ears.

That hadn't been the end of them but it had been a clear indication of the troubles they were going to have.

And now a year later he could live with the fact that he had done everything within his power to keep them together and that it was Ruthie's guilt and grief that had been the death blow to their relationship.

They'd been on a sinking ship after their first fight and Martin had stayed as long as he could keeping his head above the water, but things and circumstances eventually showed him that she was never going to heal with him there – so he had left, sadly and without a backwards glance.

His hope that when she figured it out, she would be back. Even after so much time had passed he still harbored that very same home.

Tomorrow was going to be an emotional day and he had already decided that if she wanted him to be there for her he was going to be.

It was a long way back to her but it was a road that he had always been willing to travel.


	35. Chapter 35

Title: "Broken Beyond Repair"

Author: Juana

Disclaimer: I do not own the 7th Heaven characters, only the original ones I created for the purpose of this story.

Resigned Ruthie checked her reflection in the church's bathroom's mirror one last time making sure she looked at least presentable. She knew she had lost a lot of weight – more than she probably should have, but it had been a tough year.

Still she knew the palpitations in her heart where there for one reason only – the fact that she was going to be seeing Martin.

She knew she would never get over missing him and that getting him back was the only way her life would ever feel normal again – but she also knew she'd done a lot to hurt him.

She hoped Mac was right – that this weekend would be healing for her and Martin.

It wasn't like they hated each other; it was actually exactly the opposite and Martin hadn't left because he no longer loved her – he had left because he loved her too much and everything she had been doing back then had been too painful to stay and watch.

She had to give him credit though he had stayed through a lot of crap that other guys never would have.

But she hadn't seen it then, back then the guilt had been too prominent and life consuming and his offer and desire to help had seemed condescending.

Of course it wasn't – it was just how she had interpreted it because of her inability to feel worth of any kind.

It had taken her almost five months of grief therapy, which she had entered on her father's insistence to realize how huge a part she had played in pushing Martin away.

It hadn't been that way in the beginning, in the beginning, after their initial blow up; she had wanted him as close as she could get him.

But for Martin that had been too close she thought as she remembered the first time she had offered herself to him post accident.

While Martin had been at baseball practice she had set the bedroom up with candles and music and mood lighting, her plan to seduce him.

She had it in her mind that after almost losing her life she really wasn't willing to wait anymore to be with him in every sense of the word.

She had her life back and she had wanted to live it to the fullest.

Ruthie remembered the shocked look on Martin's face when he had found her in the bedroom, lying on the bed in her newly purchased lingerie.

He hadn't said anything just dropped his baseball bag on the floor and followed her finger as she had beckoned him to join her.

It had been too long since they had been anything close to intimate and he had hungrily began kissing her, losing himself in the moment as she had willing matched his passion.

It had made Ruthie feel alive again to have her heart beat so erratically in her chest as Martin's hands had slid sensuously over her body, have to push aside very little material to reach the skin.

He longed for her as much as she did for him, which was why his abrupt pulling away had startled her.

"I can't do this." Martin said with very little conviction at first.

"Why not?" Ruthie said the hurt already beginning to build in her thinking he didn't find her appealing.

"It might be dangerous for you." Martin tried.

But Ruthie could tell he was only making excuses by referring to the life-saving shunt that was now a permanent and necessary part of her body.

"The doctors gave me a clean bill of health today – they said intimacy was okay…I checked. Ruthie informed him hoping this was all the go ahead he needed but knowing somehow that it wasn't.

"Oh…" Martin said the thought he was about to speak trailing off.

"Oh as in okay…?" Ruthie said trying to understand the disconnection she was experiencing from him now.

Martin had planned to discuss his position on this very subject with her in the near future unfortunately by being vulnerable and putting herself out there like this she was forcing his hand – he'd made a decision the day God had saved her life and he realized it was time she knew it.

"Not exactly…the truth is I can't make love to you because I made a promise…" Martin started but Ruthie quickly cut him off.

"To who?" She asked her guilt surfacing that maybe he'd had some last bedside conversation with her mother before she had passed away.

"To God." Martin admitted.

"I don't understand…you promised God you wouldn't sleep with me…why?"

Martin knew it would be hard to make her understand the desperation he had felt in those dark moments in the hospital, but he also knew it was important to try.

"Because I was losing you and I got scared – I blamed myself for not being stronger when it came to resisting temptation – I figured that God was sending me a message to slow down and stop with the mistakes."

"That's ridiculous…" Ruthie tried but Martin stood fast.

"Ridiculous or not I made a bargain and it worked – you're here now and you're healthy when it could have easily gone the other way – he held up his end and now I have to hold up mine…I'm sorry." Martin finished.

"So you don't want to make love to me." Ruthie said sadly twisting Martin's good intentions.

"No…I want that more than just about anything…but I'm not going to give in to that want until we're married." Martin admitted.

"What if I don't want to wait…what if I want to know what it's like to be with someone like that? I almost didn't get this opportunity and I don't want to waste it." Ruthie countered speaking blindly now.

She'd realized too late that she'd said all the wrong things Ruthie remembered as he'd stood up from the bed and the look in his eyes had said it all.

But the words were what had stung.

"I didn't realize that I could be just anybody in this moment." He said giving her a pained look as he'd gone into the bathroom and shut the door, the sound of the shower drowning out her tears as they'd begun to fall.

Back in the present now Ruthie realized quickly that it was mirroring her past as her tears came in streams now causing even her waterproof mascara to smear.

Thankfully her sister Mary chose that very moment to enter the ladies restroom or she didn't now how long she would have stayed there curled up into her self the racking sobs out of control.

"It's okay sweetie…Mary is here now – for a second Ruthie had thought she heard "mommy is here now" and she realized sadly that she would never hear that again and that Mary was indeed now the closest thing she had to a mother.

Still it was a comforting feeling that enveloped Ruthie now and it brought back memories of how her sister had always been her protector growing up. Lucy had always antagonized her and Mary for the most part had stood up for and taken care of her.

Slowly she felt the sobs begin to reside as her sister rocked her in her arms and whispered comforting words to her.

"It's okay to cry sweetie…just let it out. I'm here for you."

And that was how Lucy had found them.

"Dad sent me to look for you guys – the service is about to start. " She added awkwardly wishing in that moment that she and Ruthie were on better terms.

She knew that they had a lot of mending and repair work to do on their sisterly relationship, unfortunately now was not the time.

"Tell dad we'll be right there. We just need to fix our faces." Mary informed her.

"Okay." Lucy said sullenly as she backed out the door and straight into Martin.

"I'm sorry." Lucy said as she looked into Martin's eyes realizing they shared much the same look that Ruthie's did, one of longing and loss and a need for something.

Following her instinct Lucy gave him a warm hug.

"It's really great to see you Martin." She whispered into his ear.

Martin couldn't have been more shocked. Lucy had made no secret of the fact that she believed him and Ruthie responsible for her mother's accident and death.

But she'd come to the realization that she had believed that for far too long and that it had made her far too bitter – she was ready now to move on.

As Lucy stepped back from the unexpected hug Martin could tell she had something she really needed to get off her chest so he stood silent giving her the opportunity.

Realizing this was her moment to mend and repair Lucy smiled at Martin and began her long overdue apology.

"I've been horrible to you and I just want you to know that I'm really sorry." She said not taking a single breath for fear she wouldn't get her apology out.

"Thanks." Martin said sincerely. "I understand though…and I forgive you…last year was rough on all of us."

Lucy couldn't believe how easy Martin was making this, certainly easier than she deserved.

"You're a good guy Martin. I really hope you and my sister work things out." Lucy said sincerely.

"Yeah…me too." Martin admitted while trying not to hope too hard for fear of the let down that could follow.

"Walk me to my seat?" Lucy suggested sensing Ruthie probably wouldn't be ready to see Martin so soon after her crying jag.

"Sure." Martin said taking her arm and escorting her away from the bathroom and into the main church.

It was mere seconds before the service was to start before Ruthie and Mary finally arrived to take their seats Ruthie's calm demeanor belying her earlier breakdown.

She hadn't looked around for Martin for fear the tears would start fresh but he'd had no choice but to see her as she and Mary had made their rushed entrance and the effect was instantaneous as Martin felt like a vice was tightening around his chest, she looked so sad and just a shell of her former self and it made his heart ache.

He subconsciously took in the differences since the last time he had seen her, her hair was now about chin length instead of the shorter, shaved crop she had obtained from doctors in the emergency room, a necessary part of the preparation for the surgery that had ultimately saved her life.

And although she was thin she at least looked healthy and like she might have started to eat a little more – which was a relief to him.

He remembered now how ill prepared he had been for the stages of grief and how they can change a person.

He'd been relying on his own past experience to help her through when the reality was a young child going through grief had far less outlets with which to numb the pain than an eighteen year old woman.

He knew it would be exaggerating to say she lived on alcohol or that she was in anyway addicted to it, but it the beginning stages of her grieving it was definitely her crutch – her way out of reality.

And watching her back then existing on very little food and lots of alcohol had just about done him in.

Not to mention having to watch her views change from trying to be morally good and responsible into one of a party girl almost over night – no thanks to Romy and her misguided influence.

It had caused more than one fight when she'd stumbled into her apartment after a night of drinking to find him waiting there.

Fights he didn't like to remember but was honestly unable to forget.

Not surprisingly one of those very fights was reeling through Ruthie's mind now too as she had turned ever so cautiously to look for him and had spotted him sitting with his dad on one side and a beautiful blonde on the other.

Mac said he hadn't moved on but maybe Mac was wrong she thought sadly, the very idea that he was somehow involved with the blond piercing her to the core.

It hurt to think he might have, but she knew if he had it was because she had forced him to with her stubbornness and spiteful behavior.

Behavior she wished she could take back as she continued to reprocess one of their very last fights.

It had been a particularly late night and she had arrived home to find Martin sitting on her living room couch in the dark.

She'd really been far too inebriated to even try and have a rational conversation with him, but it became quickly apparent to her that it was going to happen anyway because Martin was at his breaking point.

"Where have you been?" Martin inquired a tone of underlying anger in his voice.

"I was with Romy." Ruthie quickly lied.

Martin was instantly saddened by her answer knowing it to be untrue.

"Mac and Romy got home hours ago." Martin said cluing her into the fact now that he knew she was lying and probably had been for some time.

It had been hard enough knowing she was out partying with Romy but realizing now that she'd graduated to going out solo was an unwelcome eye opener about the state of their relationship.

"I didn't mean to lie." Ruthie tried explaining.

"Then why did you…what are you keeping from me?" Martin inquired not entirely sure he wanted the answer.

"You wouldn't understand." Ruthie admitted.

"Then try and make me because otherwise I have to draw my own conclusions." Martin informed her.

"I'm not cheating on you." Ruthie stated a little annoyed that she had to explain who she was with now.

"I never said you were." Martin countered now having to deal with a possibility he'd never really considered before, but it was out there now gnawing at his mind.

"I was at a friend's house playing some games and watching some TV." Ruthie began explaining.

But Martin wasn't hearing her anymore because it suddenly all clicked – the reason she'd thrown out randomly that she wasn't cheating was because she'd been with a guy all night.

"What friend?" Martin quizzed needing the answer.

Ruthie realized too late that she'd given out more clues and information that she'd actually intended to.

And she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that when Martin found out who she'd been spending time with he would not be happy.

Unfortunately now she had to tell him the truth.

I was at Tad's apartment with some friends.

"You were drinking at Tad's house?" Martin was reeling now – sure Ruthie wasn't cheating on him, not yet anyway, but she was definitely putting herself in bad situations where it could eventually happen.

"I didn't realize you and Tad Kelley were friends." Martin finished feeling the bitter start to build.

"He's in my drama class – we just hang out occasionally." Ruthie tried.

But Martin totally got it now. Every unexplained date that she'd broken, every time she had arrived home late and plastered…she'd been with him.

"Are you interested in him?" Martin said bluntly. He was done playing games now and being made a fool of.

He'd stuck by Ruthie through everything and was exhausted from trying to be a rock she could lean on.

"NO." Ruthie yelled adamantly! He's just a friend and he gets me. She knew her behavior was that of a belligerent child but she couldn't help herself, she didn't know how not to be immature and selfish in her grief.

"He gets you?" Martin mimicked. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"He lost his mom this year too." Ruthie confessed. "He understands what I'm going through."

Ruthie knew in her sober moments she would realize she'd said too much and been too unintentionally hurtful in her defense of her new friend.

A new friend that Martin knew deep in his gut had nothing but dishonorable intentions towards her.

It was frustrating to Martin to see Ruthie being played like a finely tuned instrument but he was intelligent enough to know that confronting her with Tad's lies, because he would bet his life that Tad's mother was still very much alive, would only push her further away.

"You can talk to me Ruthie – I lost my mother too." Martin reminded her.

A reminder that only served to open up the wound that had been festering inside her.

"I tried talking to you – you keep trying to take me down some twelve step grieving path and I'm not ready to forgive and forget the jerk who thought it would be cool to have a six pack of beer on his lunch break and then drive a semi."

"I never said you had to forgive him." Martin tried but Ruthie was stuck in mid rant.

"And I tried to get close to you but you pushed me away."

Now Martin was mad.

"So what…this is my punishment for not sleeping with you?!"

"I never said that!"

"But it is isn't it…you think if you can make me mad enough or jealous enough that I'll do what you want – guilt be damned."

"Well it's not going to happen that way Ruthie so you can just stop playing mind games!"

Suddenly Ruthie's cell phone began to ring. Martin knew it could only be one person at this time of night.

As Ruthie glanced at the caller id the look on her face confirmed his suspicions.

"And you can stop hanging out with him! He's bad news Ruthie and if you keep seeing him we really will have a problem." Martin warned.

Now in hindsight sitting just a few rows in front of Martin, Ruthie wished she had heeded that warning.

Ignoring it had cost her everything and if she'd been more honest with herself back then she would have admitted to herself that the vibe she got from Tad was always more than a friend one.

She'd wanted so desperately back then to escape her guilt and her sister's judgment that she'd systematically began to shut out anyone who really truly loved her and wanted to help.

And jerky, sleazy Tad had taken advantage of that, it had taken her seconds to realize that, but seconds too late as Martin had walked in on him giving Ruthie a kiss and then done his best to blow it out of proportion.

Ruthie knew it had looked bad, but she also knew that it wasn't what it had looked like. Tad had caught her completely off guard and Martin's timing had been wrong place at the wrong time.

Crushed and angry she had kicked Tad out of her apartment realizing he'd had this very plan from the start and she'd allowed herself to walk into it with blinders on.

Not caring that she was hurting the one guy she'd fought her life to love.

Sitting now in the present tears streaming down her face, she was unable to separate her grief from her broken heart.

She knew she could never have her mother back, but she needed just one last chance with Martin and that was what she prayed for as the seven Camden kids began filing their way down the familiar church aisle and out into the sunshine.

And for a split second Ruthie felt her mom, her presence her, her love, her spirit as it enveloped her in a comforting hug and whispered into her ear that she loved her and would always take care of her.

"I love you too mom." Ruthie whispered back into the air as the sunlight kissed her face and brought with it a miracle.

It was just a light touch on her shoulder, but it was a familiar one and slowly Ruthie turned unfazed by how she must look.

Martin felt his involuntary intake of breath at the sight of her after such a long time, her soul just sang to his.

Slowly and purposefully he took her hand in his. "I just wanted to say that I appreciate you letting me come here today…I know this wasn't what you really wanted."

She could tell he was talking but she couldn't hear him her heart pounding too loudly in her head and everything dizzy and hazy.

Through out everything she had refused to lean on him and now it was all she wanted to do, to feel his strong, caring arms surrounding her again.

Without any forethought she followed her instinct and melted into his chest the tears flowing blindly as he responded to her need and enclosed her in his arms and let her weep.

It was hard not to be guarded though because no matter how wonderful it felt to be so close to her again, it didn't change how far apart they had grown – or how much their two hearts had been broken.


	36. Chapter 36

Author : Juana

Title: "I'm Thankful for You"

Disclaimer: I do not own the original television characters in my story, they are the property of the CW Network and 7th Heaven.

**Authors Note: My apologies for the long dry spell. I was laid off and my writing time has been sucked up with job searching. No luck yet ******

**I did write a particularly long chapter in hopes of compensating for my absence. Enjoy!**

It had seemed so perfect – that moment in Martin's arms outside the church.

Almost too perfect in fact, it made it hard to remember that for several very long months they had been virtual strangers living separate and very different lives.

Her life path hadn't so much changed Ruthie thought to herself – no it was more that it had…altered itself to accommodate a life without Martin.

She had literally had to retrain her way of thinking to be able to exist in a world without him.

The first few months had been the worst – the crying, the depression and the huge inability to even get out of bed. It had just seemed easier to stay there some days.

But as those days had turned into weeks Mac had stepped in to save her and that was where the friendship they now shared had been born.

A friendship that made it easier for her to talk to him than just about anybody else about what she was now feeling.

"Calm down Ruthie you're seriously going to hyperventilate." Mac said forcing her to acknowledge that she was being anything but rational at the moment.

"I'm an idiot Mac – I never should have broken down on him like that." Ruthie moaned visions of her recent and embarrassing surrender to the pain that had ended with her practically throwing herself into Martin's arms running through her mind now.

"He doesn't think that you're an idiot and neither should you." Mac said giving her his best reassuring tone.

He hated that he was caught in the middle again. He wanted desperately to tell Ruthie what Martin was thinking and vice versa, but if he'd learned anything from his suitcase full of mistakes it was to mind his own business.

Still he thought – a little nudge couldn't hurt…could it?

"How could he not? I practically molested him on the front lawn of the church." Ruthie whined.

Mac took in Ruthie's perfectly perfected pout and grinned.

"Yeah that might work on other guys' princess but I'm wise to you." Mac informed her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Ruthie said continuing her pout even though Mac was proving to be quite impervious to it.

"I know you want me to agree with you – but I can't – not this time." Mac stated.

"Why not?" Ruthie quizzed intrigued by her friends stance of not backing her up in her misery.

Mac sighed. He knew now that he was going to get involved he just couldn't help himself.

"Because I'm pretty sure the only thing Martin was thinking as he held you today was…finally." Mac informed her.

"Finally?" Ruthie parroted confused.

"Yes…Finally. As in finally she is leaning on me – depending on me to help her." Mac said pointedly wanting to make sure Ruthie was processing all the major information he was giving her.

"I always leaned on him." Ruthie said her defenses going up.

Mac put his arm around Ruthie drawing her closer – instinctively knowing his next sentence had the ability to really hurt her – still it was a truth he knew she needed to acknowledge now that she was more like her old self again.

"You never leaned on him after the accident Ruthie…not once." Mac said doing his best to try and clear her foggy, off centered memories.

Inside the Camden's home Martin was doing his best to try and be helpful to keep his mind preoccupied.

He had been trying to talk to Ruthie since they arrived back at the house but she had been doing a very deliberate job of avoiding him and it stung – but it practically blew a hole in his ego when she silently slipped out the back door purposefully dragging Mac with her.

Martin knew that he had enlisted Mac to keep an eye on Ruthie for him when he left, but he had never expected the deeply engrained friendship that Mac and Ruthie now shared.

Ruthie confided everything in Mac now and it drove Martin just a little crazy to know that.

Still he endured it because he had never wanted Ruthie to be alone in the mess their lives had become towards the end.

Glancing out the window and seeing Mac pull Ruthie into his arms now though he kind of wished he'd left it alone – his insane need to protect her at all costs was turning on him far too quickly.

He realized he just couldn't take it anymore – he needed more than anything to get out of there.

He couldn't breathe, because every breath he took just hurt with aching and confusion.

Turning quickly to face Lucy he did his best to smile. "I think I'm going to take a rain check on Thanksgiving dinner." Martin informed her.

"Why? Lucy started only to realize in the next instance by simply glancing out the window what must be motivating him.

"She wants you here Martin…I promise you." Lucy said confidently.

"It doesn't matter – that's not it. It's this whole thing, it's just very overwhelming. I wanted to honor your mom's memory today and I have so I'm just going to go." Martin said while untying the apron she had forced him to wear to protect his church clothes.

"You think you're honoring my mom by giving up on Ruthie so easily – she wanted you two together. She loved you like a son Martin." Lucy said laying it on thick in an attempt to keep him there until he could clear the air with her sister – she owed Ruthie that.

"I can't believe you just went there." Martin said a little annoyed.

"Somebody had to. You and Ruthie just keep running these impossible circles around each other refusing to see what's right in front of you – each other."

Sensing his wife was treading on very fragile territory Kevin finally stepped in.

"Her heart is in the right place Martin." He said putting his arm around a riled up Lucy to calm her down.

"I know…that's the problem right now everybody in this room wants me and Ruthie to patch things up – that's my dream too, but lets face it…it's not going to happen when she won't even talk to me."

"Martin…" Lucy started but he quickly cut her off sensing the impending breakdown that pushed ferociously against his willpower.

"No…just leave it alone Lucy. I can't stay." He said with a finality that shocked both her and Kevin.

With his decision made it took him only a few minutes to find his dad and thank the Reverend for the invitation and then he was gone.

Mere minutes had passed after his departure before Ruthie and Mac made their entrance back into the house.

Every eye was on them – no one wanting to the bearer of the bad news.

Still, in the short amount of time from Martin's departure and Ruthie's entrance back into the house Mary had been the one elected to tell her what had happened and reluctantly she now did so feeling empathy at the pain that etched itself on Ruthie's face now.

Mary knew a part of Ruthie had hoped for some mending of old wounds on this occasion and now it looked like she wasn't going to get it.

It saddened Mary to see her sister enduring yet another blow to her happiness.

"Maybe you should just go talk to him." She couldn't help suggesting.

Ruthie knew that Mary was probably right, but she was afraid – it was a fear that sunk deep into her pores and threatened her calm exterior with breaking.

If not for Mac it probably would have been enough to make her back down and play the victim again, but Mac had put it all on the line for her out in the yard earlier.

Martin hadn't moved on yet because he still believed there was hope but Mac was convinced that if Ruthie shot down that last bit of belief he still clung to that the damage would be irreversible this time.

It was a reality that had jolted Ruthie enough to cast her fear aside, hug her sister and bolt out the door and across the street to the Brewer's house.

This was not the way he had wanted the day to turn out thought Martin as he lay on his bed, the tears falling silently down his face.

It was over and he was being destroyed by that stark realization.

He had lost her – Ruthie was never coming back.

This was his reality – he was alone and shattered, his heart crumbled and crushed to a pulp.

He could have hated God in that moment for making him endure all that he had and to still come out empty handed, but instead he thanked him.

He acknowledged the gift of time he had given him with Ruthie and he prayed silently for her happiness.

It was a true testament of his love for her in that moment that he was willing to want nothing but the best for her.

And he prayed for strength – he knew it was a rough path ahead of him and he needed it to keep him from wallowing in the loss.

Everything in his life was different to him now – the rose colored glasses of hope for a future with Ruthie were off.

Subconsciously he was preparing himself to move on. Because once you let go it's the next logical step.

And in that moment he was finally letting go. He knew he had endured all the pain that he could handle but he hoped that someday they could be friends again when it hurt less.

They were two people at complete cross purposes.

He was letting go while outside his front door Ruthie stood firm in her decision that she was finally ready to fight for what she wanted and to stop feeling victimized by her rollercoaster life.

Ruthie knew all she needed to do was knock but although her resolve was firm her hand still remained frozen at her side as her mind went wild with the possibilities of how this encounter could go.

She knew she had so much to she wanted to say to him, she only hoped he would give her the opportunity. She really had no guarantee that it wasn't already too late.

It was those kinds of insecurities that made her unsure if being here was a good idea or not.

And she must have turned to go a half dozen times before she finally got the courage up and timidly knocked.

Martin was in the bathroom splashing water on his face when he heard the knock, still it was so faint he wasn't entirely sure it hadn't been his imagination and he had almost decided to ignore it when the chime of the doorbell shattered the silence of the house.

He suspected it was Lucy with her well meaning ways and that was almost enough to keep him silent hoping she would go away – but the Camden's were never known for backing down, particularly Lucy, so he picked up the hand towel off the sink and wiped his face before going to investigate who the un-welcomed visitor was.

As the front door of the Brewer home started to open Ruthie self consciously reached up to smooth down her chin length hair.

Her prayer was that Martin would open the door and it would be instantly obvious that he was happy to see her.

The look she got however was more shocked than happy and she felt her hope diminish just a little as she gave him a resigned smile – this wasn't going to be an easy talk that was the only thing obvious to her now.

It had never even entered Martin's mind that it might be Ruthie at the door, but there she stood on his father's doorstep, inches away from him and he was to put it mildly…unprepared.

"Ruthie?" "What are you doing here?" Martin asked the faint spark of hope lighting inside him again.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time – I just think that we need to talk about some things."

What an understatement thought Martin, outwardly though he tried to play it a little more reserved.

He didn't want to be the first one to approach the hope of reconciliation. Though he had been the one to leave – he needed her to be the one to ask him back.

He knew how he felt but he needed to know that she needed him – that she felt the same way as he did.

"Sure…come on in." He said moving aside to allow her access into the house.

It was immediately obvious to Ruthie that Martin was holding back and she knew it was more than likely that she and her past treatment of him was the reason – she really wanted to make things better but she felt at a loss to do so.

It was a lot harder than she thought it would be to be in the same room with him, and even though the couch was comfortable, she wasn't.

Sensing Ruthie's discomfort Martin reacted. "Can I get you some water?"

"Yes." Ruthie said thankfully feeling as if the room was closing in her. She was nervous and the nerves made her parched and sweaty at the same time.

Coming back from the kitchen Martin handed her the water and she downed it like it was the best glass of water she'd ever had.

As she put the empty glass on the coffee table in front of her she finally turned to look at him as he sat perched on the edge of the chair across from her.

"I didn't think it was going to be this difficult." Ruthie admitted.

Martin smiled. "I won't bite. I promise."

It was enough to break the palpable tension and Ruthie smiled back.

"I miss you." She said sincerely.

"I miss you too." Martin allowed himself to admit.

Ruthie felt her heart soar at that remark. He missed her…it was a good start.

Still it was just a start.

" I've thought daily about what I would say to you ever since my dad told me you were going to be at the memorial." Ruthie admitted somewhat sheepishly.

"And?" Martin prodded sensing there was much more to that statement.

"And now I can't remember a single sentence or form a coherent though, so I'm just going to have to wing it." She told him.

He wasn't sure what she wanted him to do – interject, let her think…etc, so he stayed silent and waited until she finally spoke.

"I know I've hurt you Martin and I'm sorry."

The one thing he had decided a long time ago was that when she finally took the time to apologize for all the hurtful things she'd done he would accept her apology, but he would not under any circumstance make her feel that what she had done was okay.

It had wounded him far too deep and shattered many, many illusions of who she was to him.

"I accept your apology." He said stoically.

Man he wasn't giving an inch thought Ruthie in a panic – she was going to need to do better than this.

"But do you forgive me?" She prodded.

Here it was the moment of truth thought Martin. He could lie to himself and her and spin this in a favorable direction or he could tell the truth.

He chose the truth knowing it was the only way they would be able to trust each other in the future.

If he lied to her now it would only make things worse. She needed to understand just exactly how much damage she had inflicted on their relationship if there was ever going to be any hope of moving forward together.

"I forgive you…but please don't expect me to forget what's happened." He said taking a deep breath making it apparent he had a lot more to say on this matter.

Ruthie felt sick to her stomach at his admission.

She was certain now that he wasn't ready to mend fences – he just wanted to have his say.

So she would let him. It was the least she owed him for everything she had put him through.

If he needed a punching bag to verbal vent his frustrations on – she would willing be one for him.

He looked deeply into her eyes before starting and almost reconsidered. He didn't want to hurt her – still it needed to be said, to be understood.

He had endured in silence for too long, giving her the time she needed to grieve and regroup.

It was a talk that would have to happen now or he knew it never would and that if it didn't could be a detriment to their possible reconciliation.

"Everything that happened from your mom's death on has affected me. The lies, the yelling, and the way you shut me out…it all came with consequences."

Ruthie knew he was right but it still hurt to hear his confession.

"I love you Ruthie." Damn! He had not intended to be the first to say that after such a long time apart from each other – it had just sort of slipped out.

"I love you too Martin." Ruthie said quickly wanting him to understand that she had no hesitation in that department.

"I'm glad. But that is why it's hard to say this to you." He continued; causing Ruthie to worry knowing that any sentence started in that way couldn't be good.

"I don't know where we are supposed to go from here."

Okay that wasn't so bad and he actually gave her kind of an opening she realized.

"I was hoping that maybe we could start over." She said less brave than she actual felt in that moment.

"You mean as friends?" Martin questioned.

It wouldn't be good not to clarify – jumping to conclusions could really make him look like an idiot here he realized.

Friends? Ruthie thought. Is that all he wanted was friends? The mere thought that Martin was no more interested in her than that made her feel as if her heart was cracking in to a million pieces.

It would be easy to let her pride get in the way here. To not admit to him the depth of her needs and desires.

But it would be just another roadblock and she was tired of roadblocks.

"No…as a couple, I want my boyfriend back." She admitted barely above a whisper so afraid to hear his reaction.

"You do?" Martin said a little surprised that she had been so straightforward about her feelings.

"I do, and even though I have no right to expect that it's what you want too…it's what I want – it's what I need."

Martin wanted to shout out in happiness, she had said the magic word. She NEEDED him.

It was as if a giant weight had been lifted off of his chest. He felt as if he was finally being released from the prison of unhappiness he had been residing in since he had left her.

A prison she still lived in as she waited for some response to what she had just told him.

Unable to take the waiting she spoke up again – she hated to ask it but she needed to know if her next question held any bearing on his silent processing.

"Am I too late?" Ruthie asked tension filling her body from head to toe in anticipation of his answer.

Purposefully Martin got up from the couch and walked over to her pulling her up against his chest and into his arms to give her a warm and loving hug.

It felt beyond amazing to have her in his arms again in a happy capacity – to know that she was where she really wanted to be…no needed to be.

He knew he would never tell her how completely true his next statement was, or how close to giving up he had been.

"No. You're right on time." He answered his voice husky with renewed feelings for her.

Feelings he couldn't and didn't want to stave off as his craving to feel the warmth of her sensuous lips on his accelerated by the minute – it had been far too long since he had been that intimate with her and he was afraid it might seem a little awkward – he couldn't have been more wrong.

Kissing her again ignited all the long distinguished sparks that had always existed between them.

It was almost impossible to believe in that moment that they had been denying themselves this pleasure for so long without going just a little bit crazy.

Because that was how he felt now, completely crazy and starved for the affectionate and sensual nature of her touch and lips.

He wanted her in the worst way and it was overtaking all his common sense as he continued to hungrily kiss her, molding her body closer until it felt like they were sharing the same skin.

It was that familiar precipice that they had lived on for so long, always denying themselves that final leap over the edge.

Today he wanted to scoop her into his arms and do the unthinkable and just leap off that edge without any second guessing or doubts.

She was back in his arms and he wanted her as close as he could get her – afraid if he let her go she would again be gone – just a figment in his dreams.

It didn't take a mind reader to know where Martin's thoughts had wandered even in the foggy, passion filled haze that he had led her into – scratch that she had willing gone, but still the answer to the equation was the same and the end result would be the culmination of their two bodies joined in love.

It was a disaster in the making as far as she was concerned. Although she felt she was ready she was worried about the guilt that Martin would have to deal with later.

It had been this very subject that had put them at odds after her mother's death.

"Martin…we can't do this." Ruthie said as she reluctantly pulled away from him.

"I'm pretty sure we can." Martin said bringing his lips back to hers, taunting her with the passion he put behind his kiss.

His kisses as usual knocked her completely off balance and sent her brain into a spiral loop de loop.

"Oh my God you are impossible." She said purposefully extracting herself from him now.

She needed to be a safe distance from him – his sexual magnetism having an undeniable pull for her.

Sheepishly and more than a little frustrated Martin looked at her. "You're awfully far away."

"And you are awfully forgetful."

"You didn't want to do this…remember?"

"I can't believe you've decided to pick now to be moral." Martin moaned.

"I've had a lot of time to come to grips with the promise you made to God and I'm okay with it now." Ruthie informed him.

"I suppose I should appreciate that you're being strong." Martin ruefully admitted.

"And yet you're not." Ruthie realized much to her chagrin.

It was painfully obvious to her now that promise or not Martin wanted her…today. Not after they were married or next year, or next month or even next week.

Martin no longer wanted to wait and she suspected that she knew why – aside from the obvious lust factor of course.

It might be a long shot but she decided to say it anyway – to reassure him and make him feel just a little more confident again.

"It wouldn't have changed anything Martin. I really believe that."

"You've lost me."

"I know you think that if we had slept together that day that we would have never had to endure the last year apart, but you're wrong." Ruthie assured him

Martin wanted to stop her right there to tell her not to dredge up old wounds but it was hitting his insecurities a little too close to home.

So he let her continue.

"I was being anything but understanding back then and having sex wouldn't have changed that. I would have just found something else to make me miserable if I couldn't have used you not being willing to sleep with me."

"You were miserable." Martin said a little hurt to hear it even though realistically he had known it all along.

"I was a mess. I blamed myself for my mom's death and I wanted everyone around me to hurt as much as I did." Ruthie confessed feeling relieved that she had finally told him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You could have told me." Martin stressed.

"Because I blamed you too."

Martin had believed as much back then himself but to actually hear her say it out loud was an unexpected blow.

"You thought I was responsible for your mom's death?" He said unable to hide the shock registering visibly on his face now.

"Please don't hate me. I imagined all kinds of what if scenarios – what if she hadn't caught me at your house – what if I hadn't forced her to come and talk with me – what if I'd never moved to San Diego to be with you. All horrible thoughts, so now you see why I didn't want to share how I was feeling back then."

Yeah he did. And he kind of wished she still hadn't shared.

It was hard to realize how bitter she had been towards him and that he could never have been there for her back then because she had believed he was the source behind all that had gone wrong in her life.

"It took being in grief therapy for me to finally see the big picture." Ruthie admitted hoping it would lessen a little of the bite of her former statement.

"And what's the big picture?" Martin asked even though he was dreading the answer.

"That it wasn't anyone's fault – we can't change our fate without information that we aren't being given and that life is always going to be about choices and we will always have to make them."

"If we stop making choices – we stop living."

It was in that moment that Martin realized just how much Ruthie had grown in their time apart. How life had handed her a sour set of circumstances and she had learned from them.

He was pretty sure he was falling more in love with her by the minute.

"You've changed."

"For the better I hope." Ruthie said smiling.

"Let's just say…I'm impressed." Martin admitted.

"I still have a long way to go towards being a better Ruthie, but I'm trying."

"Just don't lose the old parts of the Ruthie that I love and adore." Martin chided.

"I still have my old temper if that helps at all."

"It's a huge part of your irresistible charm." Martin joked

To back up her words Ruthie picked up a throw pillow off the coach and chucked it at him in mock anger.

And soon they were in engaged in a rowdy pillow fight which ended with her pinned to the floor and him panting heavily as he straddled her.

"And here we are again." Martin said amused by her precarious position as he planted a light but tasty kiss on her lips and she squirmed beneath him in protest.

Having won this battle he rolled off her and lay down next to her holding her hand while he played innocently with her fingers, loving how they felt in his.

It was a lovely moment that Ruthie wanted to last forever.

Martin however had another idea. It hit him like a sledgehammer as he lay there completely absorbed by his love for her.

"I'll be right back." Martin said surprising Ruthie with his quick disengage followed by an abrupt exit.

But before she had time to miss him he was back with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Sit in the chair." Martin ordered.

Intrigued Ruthie did just as he said and before she knew it he had sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of her.

"I love you Ruthie, I think to some degree I always have – even when I was stupid and trying to deny it."

"I love you too." Ruthie said with pride

"Good…that's good. It makes what I'm about to say a lot easier."

"Okay. Now I'm curious. Ruthie admitted.

Martin had imagined this moment in his mind about a million times after he had fallen in love with Ruthie and he wanted it to be perfect. He knew it was about the biggest thing he would ever do before an actual proposal and he wanted her to understand the significance behind what he was about to offer her.

"Before you get all freaked out…this isn't an actual proposal for a number of reasons – one, I know we're both too young and still in school and two I want the real proposal to be a spectacular one that you will never forget."

Ruthie was pretty sure she was going to start crying any minute now as Martin pulled out a blue velvet box and opened it to expose a beautiful ring with an emerald stone in the center.

"This was my moms."

Before he could say another word the tears were there.

"I can't take that Martin – it's yours." Ruthie stressed knowing it belied how desperately she wanted to take it.

"This is the very reason my mom gave it me before she died. She told me to give it to the woman I planned to marry. That's you Ruthie and this ring is my promise of that happening."

Ruthie knew that what Martin was doing he wasn't doing lightly. The ring he was now placing on her finger was a piece of his mom and she had meant the world to him.

"She would have loved you Ruthie just like I do."

"It's beautiful Martin." Ruthie said holding her hand up to admire the way it caught the light and to bask in the symbol it would show to the world.

She was Martins –and she couldn't have been happier.

Romy on the other hand could have as she reached Mac's voicemail again and left him yet another message that he still had yet to return.

"Again Mac – you need to get back to San Diego like yesterday. Someone came by and dropped something off for you that I think you need to see.

Seeing Romy's number again Mac waiting until it had gone to voicemail again before picking it up because sometimes she could be impossible. Whatever imagined emergency she had she was really doing the drama queen routine this time and he just didn't feel like dealing with it today.

Finally the beep of the phone signaled another message had been left and Mac was just about to dial his voicemail to pick it up, when Martin and Ruthie came into the Camden kitchen where everyone had gathered for pie.

The sight of them together said it all but still everyone waited for confirmation before jumping the gun with congratulations.

"Well??" Lucy said never one to be patient.

"Yes. Fine, if you have to be all up in our business, Martin and I are back together!" Ruthie said gleefully causing her father to smile because it was the first sincere smile he had seen on her face in a long time.

Instantly everyone was congratulating them and telling them how happy they were for them.

It was a bittersweet moment for Mac though because he knew Ruthie would no longer need him and he was going to have to face his problems with Romy on his own. Ruthie's life would be Martin centered once again.

And that was as it should be Mac admitted to him self. They were the quintessential perfect couple and he envied the love they shared.

Although he had Romy because of all the problems they'd been encountering lately he wasn't sure if he could say they were truly in love. Still watching Martin and Ruthie made him want to try harder to make it work.

Speaking of which, he should probably pick up his voice mail and see what the three –alarm fire was all about.

And he realized…if he wanted things to work with her he should probably make the effort to call her back.

In fact he was a little psyched. It would be neat having the group of them all back together and happy.

This was turning out to be a good Thanksgiving after all.


End file.
